Chapter 32 – From Undercurrents to Surging Waves
by Salted Fish173
That accident during the basketball game seemed to have injured He Fei.
At the time, He Fei was leaping forcefully for a dunk when he was bumped by an opposing player. A sharp, pulling pain shot through his lower abdomen. Although it improved noticeably after a while, the discomfort kept recurring unpredictably. Occasionally, when he exerted himself, the pain would return, and the affected area seemed to be gradually expanding.
By the end of October, He Fei noticed something increasingly off about his groin—sometimes a bulge would appear there. After looking it up online, it seemed like he might have a hernia. He dragged his cousin along to the hospital, where the doctor confirmed it was indeed a hernia. The doctor then lectured He Fei about how young people shouldn’t spend all day sitting in front of a computer playing games and should exercise more to build up their constitution. He Fei almost laughed—he worked out every damn day, and there was nothing wrong with his physique worth lecturing about. His cousin, standing nearby, pressed the doctor for a solution. The doctor said it wasn’t a big deal, but surgery would be necessary sooner or later.
The moment He Fei heard he’d need surgery—and would have to stay in the hospital for a week—he wanted to curse. He already couldn’t stand doctors who strutted around arrogantly the moment they put on a white coat. The thought of his perfectly intact body being punctured by them made him ache all over before the knife even touched him. It wasn’t that He Fei couldn’t handle pain—what pissed him off more was the idea of lying in a hospital bed, breathing in disinfectant fumes for a whole week.
He Fei told his cousin, “Don’t blab about this to the family. They’ll just freak out over nothing. It’s just a minor surgery—done in a week. No need to bother the old man with it.”
His cousin yelped, “Huh? Then who’s gonna pay your medical bills? Who’s gonna feed you soup and wipe your ass in the hospital?”
He Fei replied expressionlessly, “You.”
His cousin immediately protested, “No way! I’ve got my own damn stall to run! I’m not as lucky as you—if I don’t work, I’ll be starving tomorrow!”
“Fine, then no surgery,” He Fei said.
“Fine, I’ll go tell Auntie and have her find a place where she knows someone for a discount.”
“Fine, consider the money I owe you gone—call it a visit to the sick.”
His cousin was torn between laughter and tears. “Fuck! You’ve got no conscience!”
After scheduling the surgery, his cousin suddenly had a change of heart.
“That gay guy in your dorm has a thing for you, right? Maybe he’ll volunteer to watch over you. Plus, there’s your girlfriend—though she probably can’t handle the nighttime stuff. Depends on how far you two have gone…”
He Fei’s heart skipped a beat.
His relationship with Xiang Lei had remained stagnant since before summer break, like crops withering under the scorching sun, barely clinging to a faint, flickering hope.
174
He Fei asked his class teacher for two weeks’ leave.
Like last time, the teacher notified our class rep, and like last time, we all trooped to the hospital to visit He Fei. Before setting off, no one saw Xiang Lei around, and no one thought to call and ask if he was coming.
Seeing He Fei looking lively in his hospital bed, we asked why he seemed even more energetic than usual. He Fei shouted, “You guys are such idiots! I haven’t even had the damn surgery yet!”
After a rowdy while, the doctor kicked us out.
The fake He Fei told the real He Fei to let us know he appreciated the sentiment, but since he’d probably be unconscious for a while, we should all head back.
On the way back to campus, we ran into Xiang Lei and Wei Tong heading to the hospital. The guys cracked a few jokes, while the girls couldn’t stop staring at Xiang Lei and Wei Tong. Xiang Lei’s face turned red, and he quickened his pace to get away.
175
As Xiang Lei and Wei Tong approached He Fei’s ward, they spotted the real He Fei sitting outside the door. Their gazes lingered on the cousin’s face for a moment before they both looked away, lost in thought for a brief second.
The cousin immediately guessed that one of them must be Xiang Lei.
He knew Xiang Lei was probably thinking, Where have I seen this guy before? That thought made him chuckle, which in turn made Xiang Lei and Wei Tong glance at him a couple more times.
When the two pushed open the ward door and didn’t see He Fei, they were confused. The cousin stood up and cheerfully asked, “Which one of you is Xiang Lei? Here to see my brother?”
“Yeah, I’m Xiang Lei. He Fei is your brother?” Xiang Lei was slightly surprised.
The cousin paused, thinking, I’m the real ‘He Fei.’ Hearing someone ask if he was his own cousin felt weird. And the person answering—something about him felt off. The other guy seemed more like the Xiang Lei his cousin often mentioned.
“Ah, yeah, yeah. My brother just got wheeled into the operating room!” the cousin said.
Inside the OR, He Fei was busy yelling at the doctors, “Can’t you hurry the hell up?” Hindered by the discomfort from his wound, his shout lacked force, and the surgeon continued his slow, meticulous work while turning to explain the procedure and precautions to his students—a model of patient teaching!
Whether He Fei was naturally resistant to anesthesia or the solemn-faced nurse had skimped on the dose, the nerve endings where the scalpel touched seemed as alert as ever. The pain had him drenched in sweat, beads the size of peas rolling down his forehead.
“Hurry the fuck up! You’re killing me!” He Fei kept yelling.
The doctor, probably annoyed by the noise, shoved a mask over He Fei’s face. Soon after, He Fei passed out from the unbearable pain.
The cousin made small talk with Xiang Lei and Wei Tong until He Fei was wheeled back to the ward post-surgery.
Seeing He Fei asleep, the cousin asked if Xiang Lei and Wei Tong were in a hurry to return to campus. They quickly said no, so he suggested they grab a bite first, then come back to relieve him.
He Fei woke up from the pain—not just the sharp sting of the surgical wound, but an all-over body ache. He tried to move but found sandbags weighing down his legs, immobilizing him. There was no pillow under his head either, making it feel like all his blood had rushed there, ready to burst.
“Don’t move!” The cousin quickly jumped up to hold down the sandbags. Xiang Lei and Wei Tong stepped forward to help. When He Fei saw them, he tried to force a smile, but his agony twisted it into what he was sure looked like a grimace.
“This is fucking torture! Medicine is so advanced now—why do patients still have to suffer like this? These bastards!” He Fei cursed.
“Is it really that bad?” the cousin asked, looking miserable.
“Fuck! You try it! I was asleep and the pain woke me up!” He Fei snarled through gritted teeth.
For a split second, Xiang Lei’s face mirrored He Fei’s agony, as if he were the one in the hospital bed. Though if it were him, He Fei thought, he wouldn’t just look pained—he’d be crying.
He Fei assumed the anesthesia should’ve worn off by now and the pain would become more bearable, but inexplicably, it kept intensifying. Just when he thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. He punched the wall beside the bed hard enough to bloody his knuckles, but the pain from his groin to his abdomen refused to transfer to his hand.
Afraid He Fei’s violent movements would jostle his body, the cousin threw himself onto the sandbags, yelling at He Fei to stay still. Xiang Lei rushed over and grabbed He Fei’s forearm. He Fei tried to pull free but couldn’t—no surprise, since he’d been fasting for 12 hours before surgery and hadn’t had a drop of water since morning.
He Fei stopped struggling, but Xiang Lei kept a tight grip on his arm.
He Fei’s wild gaze swept over Xiang Lei’s face and saw his eyes brimming with tears, as if the slightest pressure would make them spill. Touched, He Fei gripped Xiang Lei’s forearm in return. Xiang Lei’s grip loosened slightly, and He Fei’s hand slid down until their fingers intertwined. Xiang Lei squeezed lightly a couple of times, and for a moment, He Fei forgot the pain.
He Fei knew it wasn’t an exaggeration—pain could be overshadowed under the right circumstances.
He still remembered Xiao Er’s smile from the hospital bed back then. He’d thought Xiao Er was putting on a brave face to comfort him, but now he understood—Xiao Er must’ve felt the same way he did now, touching something that gave him an unprecedented sense of security, allowing him to momentarily forget his physical suffering without even trying.
176
The doctor came in and asked how He Fei was feeling. He Fei said it was awful and asked to borrow the mask again because he wanted to sleep but couldn’t in this state. The doctor chuckled and said, “You’re young and strong—just tough it out.” He then told Xiang Lei and the cousin not to let He Fei drink water and to have someone stay overnight in case of emergencies. With that, he left.
Before the cousin could speak, Wei Tong said to Xiang Lei, “Should we both stay tonight?” Xiang Lei replied, “You go back. I’ll stay. That way, you can come during the day tomorrow, and I can rest.”
Before leaving, the cousin pulled Xiang Lei outside.
“I should be the one staying, but it seems like you’d be more useful here,” the cousin said with a grin. “Besides, you guys seem really close—like brothers, just like us.”
Xiang Lei blushed and gave an awkward laugh.
“Here, take down my number. If anything comes up, or if the hospital needs payment, just call me—I’ll come right away. It’s the weekend, so my stall’s probably gonna be busy…”
“Got it, no problem,” Xiang Lei said, pulling out his phone.
After saving the number, the cousin patted Xiang Lei’s shoulder. “Thank you for your hard work, brother!”
“Don’t be so formal!” Xiang Lei replied.
Then, the cousin poked his head into the ward and told He Fei he was leaving. He Fei smiled bitterly and cursed, “Get lost!” When the cousin reached the end of the hallway, he suddenly turned back and winked at Xiang Lei, who was still standing by the door. “Hey! Remember who I am now? You’ve seen my photo before!”
“I figured it out a while ago!” Xiang Lei answered.
The cousin grinned, waved at Xiang Lei, and then disappeared into the stairwell.
178
As the anesthesia wore off completely, the pain from the wound stopped intensifying, and He Fei finally had a chance to adjust to the discomfort. He drifted into sleep—though it was far from restful. It was more like a hazy, half-conscious state, his entire body enveloped in stifling heat, his back stuck to the damp hospital bed, unable to move. Every inch of him felt unbearably uncomfortable.
In his half-asleep daze, He Fei kept muttering, “Water… water…” Xiang Lei’s voice floated over faintly, “You can’t drink water yet. Hold on a little longer.” He Fei snapped, “Hold on my ass! Try it yourself! I’m fucking dying of thirst!” Then he felt Xiang Lei’s trembling hand grab his. He Fei shook it off and whined, “I’m thirsty…”
He heard Xiang Lei sniffle and drowsily opened his eyes.
Xiang Lei stood awkwardly by the bed, looking helpless. For a split second, He Fei thought, If he leaves now, I don’t know what I’ll do.
“You crying?” He Fei asked softly after a pause.
“Are you really thirsty?” Xiang Lei crouched down, his voice choked.
“Feel my lips—they’re cracked,” He Fei said, reaching for Xiang Lei’s hand.
“Wait a sec.” Before He Fei could find his hand, Xiang Lei stood and ran out of the ward.
He returned with cotton swabs, dipped them in bottled water, and carefully dabbed He Fei’s lips.
“Just hang in there. You can do it,” he said.
He Fei suddenly felt like a spoiled child and couldn’t help adding, “I’m not just thirsty—I’m burning up. My whole body feels like it’s on fire. I’m like a popcorn kernel in a pot, about to explode.”
“Then wait a little longer. I’ll go buy a towel to wipe you down.”
He Fei felt like Xiang Lei was gone forever. At one point, he worried Xiang Lei had gotten fed up and left, unwilling to deal with him anymore. His body grew hotter, and his mood turned increasingly irritable.
When he finally heard the door open, He Fei immediately blurted, “What took so long? I thought you weren’t coming back!” His tone carried a hint of grievance.
“It’s late! All the nearby shops and supermarkets were closed. I had to take a taxi and search everywhere. Took forever, but I finally found one,” Xiang Lei explained.
“You’re such an idiot! Couldn’t you just ask if the hospital had any?” He Fei snapped.
“Fine, fine, I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot. Calm your mind, and your body will cool down. The more worked up you get, the hotter you feel.”
As he spoke, Xiang Lei unbuttoned He Fei’s hospital gown and began carefully wiping him down. He must have been a little embarrassed—he kept his body as far from the bed as possible, stretching his arms awkwardly to reach He Fei.
“God, I just wanna roll over or sit up for a second,” He Fei muttered.
“Still hurting?”
“Of course it hurts, but I’m used to it now.”
After the wipe-down, He Fei finally felt less feverish and much more alert. When Xiang Lei asked about his “little brother,” He Fei even managed a joke: “He’s my cousin. What, you got your eye on him too?”
“I’ve had my eye on him for a while. I just always thought he was Xu Menghu.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, Xiang Lei seemed to realize what he’d said and immediately flushed with embarrassment. He grabbed the damp towel and hurried out of the ward.
179
The constant IV drip finally caught up with He Fei in the early hours of the morning—he needed to pee.
He nudged Xiang Lei, who had just dozed off leaning against the bed. Xiang Lei jolted awake. “What’s wrong?”
“I need to piss,” He Fei said sheepishly.
“Did you sneak water while I was asleep?” Xiang Lei asked.
“Are you blind? Can’t you see if I can even reach it?” He Fei grumbled.
Xiang Lei glanced around and chuckled, then grabbed the bedpan from under the bed. Gently parting He Fei’s legs, he slid it into place.
“Can you manage on your own?” Xiang Lei asked.
“I’ll try.”
If He Fei tried to lift his head, he’d have to engage his core, which immediately sent sharp pain radiating from his wound. But if he didn’t lift his head, he couldn’t position himself properly—same result.
Eventually, He Fei had to admit defeat. “You’ll have to help me.”
Xiang Lei hesitated, then slowly undid He Fei’s pants. After another pause, he took hold of the troublesome thing. He Fei noticed Xiang Lei turning his face away and felt an uncharacteristic wave of embarrassment himself.
They waited. And waited. The troublesome thing remained stubbornly uncooperative.
He Fei tried to distract himself. He counted six yawns from Xiang Lei and noted how his pinky finger absently smoothed out the wrinkles in He Fei’s underwear four times.
Finally, Xiang Lei turned back. He Fei expected him to snap, Are you messing with me? or Hurry the hell up, or Are you sure you actually need to go?
Instead, he said softly, “Don’t rush…”
He Fei squeezed his eyes shut, straining uselessly—which only made the pain worse. Frustrated, beads of sweat formed on his forehead.
Xiang Lei murmured again, “Take your time…”
He Fei relaxed his brow, imagining himself standing in front of his own toilet at home—and finally—
Fucking finally! It even started with a few tentative spurts before gaining momentum. The whole ordeal was somehow more exhilarating than the pain relief.
When Xiang Lei returned from emptying the bedpan, he yawned and said, “Dude, thank god you didn’t need to shit.”
“Fuck you,” He Fei retorted.
180
The next afternoon, Zhang Wenwen, Shi Zhuo, and Yang Lin showed up.
He Fei didn’t need to think hard to guess—Xiang Lei must’ve told Zhang Wenwen. Even by evening, when Shi Zhuo and Yang Lin were ready to leave, Zhang Wenwen insisted on staying. He Fei shamelessly recounted everything Xiang Lei had done the night before, and only then, with a blush, did Zhang Wenwen finally relent and leave with Yang Lin.
He Fei asked Xiang Lei why he’d told Zhang Wenwen about his hospitalization. Xiang Lei looked baffled. “Isn’t she your girlfriend? Of course she’d want to be by your side when you’re sick.” He Fei had no rebuttal, but a strange resentment welled up inside him. He turned his head away and started chatting with Wei Tong instead.
On the third night, the cousin came to relieve Xiang Lei. He Fei could see reluctance in Xiang Lei’s eyes, but all he said was, “Finally, a temporary escape from purgatory. Good luck getting woken up at ungodly hours.”
As he watched Xiang Lei follow Wei Tong out of the ward, He Fei was hit with an overwhelming sense of loss. Is this love?—During those two unbearable nights, every time he woke up, the first thing he knew was that the warmth beside him could only belong to one person.
He Fei stared blankly at the ceiling, his thoughts surging like a tidal wave: Let me get better. Fast.
181
By the second night in the hospital, the sandbags on He Fei’s legs had been removed, and the IV drips were no longer constant, so there was no need for nighttime bathroom trips.
On the third night, the cousin slept straight through until morning without being disturbed, proving He Fei didn’t actually need someone staying overnight. He refused to spend another night inhaling antiseptic fumes.
Xiang Lei visited every day, but he and Wei Tong always arrived and left with Zhang Wenwen, Shi Zhuo, and Yang Lin. He Fei couldn’t bring himself to ask him to stay again.
After five excruciatingly dull days in bed, his family finally found out—thanks to his cousin. By then, He Fei had had enough too, so he checked out and went home.
With a few half-hearted lies and by flashing his new phone, He Fei convinced his mom to pay back everything he owed his cousin.
0 Comments