Chapter 37 – Fragments

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203

Every night, He Fei would persistently wheedle and pester to snatch the computer from Xiang Lei to play online games. Yet Xiang Lei never held out till the end; each time, he would reluctantly give up the chair in front of the computer, lie on the bed, and watch CCTV’s adaptation of The Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils. After a few days, he became addicted and never touched the computer again.

If the computer wasn’t snatched, He Fei found the game too dull.

When Xiao Feng lost A’Zhu forever, that guy actually cried!

When He Fei accidentally turned his head and noticed, Xiang Lei hurriedly dodged.

“Are you fucking sick?” He Fei exclaimed in shock.

“Piss off!” Xiang Lei snapped back, embarrassed and angry.

“Fuck! I almost forgot—today’s AC Milan versus Juventus!” As He Fei spoke, he snatched the remote from Xiang Lei’s hand and began flipping channels randomly. Xiang Lei reached out to grab it back, but He Fei dodged and stepped back.

“No one’s fighting you for the computer anymore, and now you’re after the remote? You’re unbelievable!” Xiang Lei yelled.

“What’s so great about that crappy show? It’s the same old plot over and over!” He Fei kept changing channels.

“It’s not even NBA! You’re just picking a fight!” Xiang Lei was about to lose his temper.

He Fei ignored him. Finally, he found the sports channel, but the screen was filled with endless ads.

“See? It’s just ads! Switch it back and let me finish watching,” Xiang Lei pleaded.

“Hmm, let me see if there’s anything better on.” He Fei feigned seriousness, holding back laughter as he paused for a few seconds on each channel before saying, “Boring,” and moving on. Xiang Lei, now frantic, jumped off the bed to grab the remote, but He Fei faked him out like dribbling a basketball, and Xiang Lei couldn’t get it.

When he flipped back to The Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, Chen Hao’s A’Zi was throwing a tantrum. Just as Xiang Lei said, “You’ve cycled through everything,” He Fei swiftly changed the channel again, muttering, “Let me check if the ads on the sports channel are over.” Xiang Lei finally lost it. He angrily pulled his hands away from He Fei’s arm and sat on the edge of the bed.

He Fei couldn’t hold back his laughter any longer.

“I just didn’t want that fake-ass show to make you cry!” He Fei tossed the remote back to Xiang Lei.

Xiang Lei grabbed it and immediately switched back to The Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, only to find Faye Wong already singing the ending theme. He shot He Fei a glare, threw the remote down, pulled the blanket over himself, and lay down.

The impact left a small dent in their puzzle-patterned floor, and the remote’s batteries popped out.

“Fuck! Was that necessary?” He Fei kept laughing as he bent to pick up the remote and batteries. “You even broke our floor!”

He Fei turned off the computer, stripped, and got into bed, switching the TV back to the sports channel. Occasionally, he glanced at Xiang Lei’s back, still unable to suppress his laughter.

When the match started, He Fei nudged Xiang Lei. “Hey, it’s starting! Get up and watch with me!”

Xiang Lei didn’t react at all.

By the time He Fei finished watching alone, Xiang Lei was already asleep. He Fei quickly washed up, climbed into bed, and tugged at Xiang Lei’s underwear. Xiang Lei, jolted awake, shoved him away and cursed, “You psycho!”

He Fei found it even more amusing, his excitement growing as Xiang Lei resisted. He pinned Xiang Lei’s wrists with one hand and kept pulling at his underwear with the other. Xiang Lei wasn’t so easy to subdue—he broke free and fought back with all his strength. “Get the hell off me!” he shouted, pushing He Fei away furiously.

He Fei simply got up, straddled Xiang Lei, and said with mock seriousness, “Hold on a sec. Listen to me first.”

Xiang Lei stopped struggling, waiting for He Fei to speak.

He Fei leaned down and whispered, “You should read more lifestyle magazines—stuff like Marriage & Family. There are plenty of ‘wise aunties’ who’ll tell you that when couples have a little spat outside the bedroom, they should never let it spill into the bedroom. Otherwise, small issues turn into big conflicts, and things spiral out of control.”

“So you read those often?” Xiang Lei asked.

“Yeah. My mom gets them from work and leaves them in the bathroom. I flip through them sometimes while on the toilet.”

Xiang Lei looked speechless, then torn between laughter and exasperation.

He Fei pecked Xiang Lei’s lips twice before going back to tugging at his underwear.

“You’re such trash!” Xiang Lei laughed, swearing, but his hands only made a half-hearted attempt to stop him before giving in completely.

“If I’m trash, what does that make you? Hmm, but hey, ‘hitting is affection, scolding is love.’ You really aren’t any different from those little girls.” He Fei shamelessly grinned.

Xiang Lei smacked He Fei’s ass hard. “How’s that for affection?”

He Fei yelped, rubbing the spot. “Fuck! You’re brutal!”

Afterward, He Fei rushed to the bathroom to wash up first. Breaking his usual habit of sleeping naked, he put on the underwear he’d just stripped off Xiang Lei.

From the other room, Xiang Lei demanded to know why He Fei had thrown all his shirts, pants, socks, and underwear into the washing machine. He Fei lazily replied that it was to remind him he had no clean clothes left.

Xiang Lei scolded, “You idiot, haven’t you noticed the special detergent for underwear in the bathroom?”

He Fei realized he’d never paid attention to what all those bottles were for. This guy even had a special potion for washing underwear—he was more domestic than He Fei’s own mom.

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204

Morning. Xiang Lei rustled around, getting dressed.

With the CET-4 and CET-6 exams approaching, Xiang Lei felt he should take things more seriously. If he failed this time, it’d be downright embarrassing! So he started waking up early every day to study by the campus lake.

Earlier, He Fei and Xiang Lei had struck an unconditional deal: He Fei said his CET-4 was in Xiang Lei’s hands. The school required the certificate for graduation, and He Fei, indifferent to his own future, had dumped the responsibility onto Xiang Lei. Before the exam, He Fei would report his test permit lost, then swap their student ID photos so Xiang Lei could use He Fei’s ID to get a replacement.

Since moving off-campus, He Fei, influenced by Xiang Lei, rarely made it to 8 a.m. classes. Sometimes he’d wake up early, see Xiang Lei sleeping soundly, and decide to stay in bed himself, dozing off again in minutes. Later, when Xiang Lei started waking up early to study, He Fei had already grown accustomed to sleeping in.

Xiang Lei pulled back the blanket, waking He Fei.

He faintly heard Xiang Lei mutter, “No wonder I couldn’t find it—you’re wearing it, you asshole!” He Fei couldn’t help but smirk in his drowsy state.

Then came the sound of Xiang Lei rummaging through the closet, followed by an exasperated shout: “No wonder you slept in your underwear! You bastard, you knew there was only one pair left!”

He Fei burst out laughing, opening his bleary eyes to stick out his tongue at Xiang Lei. Xiang Lei tried to yank the underwear off, but He Fei resisted, and after a long struggle, Xiang Lei gave up.

“You’re such a bully!” Xiang Lei, momentarily forgetting his embarrassment, stood naked by the bed, pointing at He Fei.

“Whose fault is it for not doing laundry?” He Fei retorted smugly.

“Seriously? I’m busy studying for your CET-4, cooking for you—hell, I might as well spoon-feed you! You really think you’re some kind of lord? Can’t you even use the washing machine?”

“Oh please! All you make is noodles. If we didn’t live on the sixth floor, I’d rather eat street food. You’re hardly winning any awards here. And that semi-automatic washing machine? This lord definitely doesn’t know how to use it.” He Fei kept grinning.

“Fuck!” Xiang Lei, too angry to speak, started pulling on his long johns bare-assed.

He Fei thought to himself—if he kept teasing Xiang Lei like this every day, he might actually push him too far one of these times. Who knew how hard it’d be to coax him back then? So, laughing, he took off the underwear and threw it at Xiang Lei, who flung it right back, finished dressing in a huff, and slammed the door on his way out.

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205

That night, He Fei returned from playing basketball to find Xiang Lei watching The Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils.

He checked the cupboard—no food. When he asked Xiang Lei, the latter didn’t even turn his head. “I don’t know how to cook,” he said.

Great. He’d really pissed him off.

“I’m hungry,” He Fei said, nudging Xiang Lei’s shoulder.

“Then go eat downstairs!” Xiang Lei shot back.

“I just got back. I’m tired. Don’t wanna go down.”

“Then starve.”

“Aren’t you hungry? Go eat, and bring me something back. Anything’s fine.”

“I already ate.”

“Fuck! You’re ruthless!”

Xiang Lei didn’t respond.

After searching for the remote and failing to find it, He Fei simply stood in front of the TV.

“Talk. How’d you suddenly become so heartless?”

Xiang Lei pulled the remote from under his pillow, bypassed He Fei, and turned the TV off directly.

“Thanks to you,” Xiang Lei said, interlacing his fingers behind his head as he lay back on the bed.

Only when He Fei’s stomach began protesting did Xiang Lei finally relent, and He Fei decided to go downstairs to eat. As He Fei reached the first floor, Xiang Lei followed. Before He Fei could even ask, Xiang Lei volunteered, “I haven’t eaten either! I held out this long just to crush any hope you had of me bringing food back up for you.”

“Damn it! You really need a lesson! Just you wait,” He Fei shouted.

After a noisy dinner—or rather, a late-night snack—they jostled each other all the way back up to the sixth floor.

Once Xiang Lei finished showering, He Fei said, “Hurry up and wash your clothes. If they sit another night, they’ll reek.” Xiang Lei climbed straight into bed, tossing back, “Whoever wants to wash them can wash them. It’s not my hobby.”

He Fei realized Xiang Lei wasn’t going to give in tonight, whether his stubbornness was genuine or not. So He Fei whistled as he hastily did the laundry. But after hanging the half-dry clothes on the balcony, Xiang Lei couldn’t help but take the shirts and underwear back inside to rewash them.

Standing on the balcony, looking at the damp clothes and listening to the rhythmic scrubbing from the bathroom, He Fei was suddenly moved. Strangely, it wasn’t Xiang Lei who moved him—it was himself.

In that daze, he’d surrendered without resistance, accepting Xiang Lei’s refusal to compromise.

The essence of life, it seemed, was simply this effortless harmony.

And then, He Fei faintly sensed this inexplicable stirring in his heart.

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206

As winter break approached, He Fei’s ties to the university grew increasingly tenuous.

Classmates from his department and dormmates only occasionally crossed paths in lecture halls, the cafeteria, or on the basketball court. Even Shi Zhuo and Yang Lin, the inseparable couple, gradually drifted out of contact. Every few days, Zhang Wenwen might unexpectedly send a text.

Apart from Xiang Lei, the person He Fei saw most often was Wei Tong.

An old high school buddy called, asking if He Fei was hibernating. He Fei thought about it—yeah, pretty much.

Liu Chong pestered Xiang Lei several times to visit his off-campus hideout, even offering to borrow the place for a late-night game-watching session. Each time, Xiang Lei deftly deflected him.

At those moments, He Fei really wanted to step forward and say, “No problem”—after all, he had equal say in that little nest. But considering Liu Chong’s relentless nosiness, even He Fei felt it’d be hard to handle.

He Fei also started spending time listening to mainstream Chinese music—songs by David Tao and Eason Chan. Their room often looped King of Karaoke. Xiang Lei would frequently complain, “He Fei, are you determined to turn everything I like into something I despise?”

This included the wheat bread, condensed milk, and jam they had for breakfast. Ever since Xiang Lei first brought them back from the supermarket, He Fei never let him leave without them.

Once, Xiang Lei swapped the Coca-Cola He Fei randomly tossed into the shopping cart for Pepsi. From then on, He Fei never bought Coke again. He Fei specifically asked Xiang Lei, “Is there a difference?” Xiang Lei said no—just a baseless preference.

So He Fei learned to have baseless preferences too.

Many things in life were like that.

For instance, He Fei would never formally say things like “I love you” or “I like you” to Xiang Lei—even thinking about it gave him goosebumps—yet he genuinely wanted to stick to him like glue.

Truthfully, there were many things about Xiang Lei that He Fei couldn’t stand. Like how, as a man, he cried so easily—watching My Brothers and Sisters, He Fei had tried everything to comfort him, but Xiang Lei just kept sobbing endlessly. Or how he never bothered to improve his cooking yet always acted like he deserved praise. And then there was his pettiness and stubbornness—if you teased him too far, it was trouble. He might sulk for an entire day, refusing to show you a single friendly expression.

Still, none of it made sense.

Sometimes, He Fei found it all laughable.

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207

Winter break began, and Xiang Lei lingered in Beijing for four days before finally heading home.

Before the Lunar New Year, Xiang Lei called at least once a day and sent three texts. But after the holiday, three whole days passed without a word. He Fei couldn’t resist calling several times, but each time, Xiang Lei spoke only a few sentences before hurriedly hanging up, promising to call back that night—yet never following through.

On the sixth day of the new year, He Fei finally lost his temper over the phone.

“Did seeing your first love make you so happy you forgot everything else?” He Fei asked.

“Cut it out. It’s the New Year—everyone’s busy. Besides, I only come back once a year! The last few days, I had no choice—I was drunk out of my mind every afternoon, slept through the nights, and woke up at midnight. That’s why I didn’t call back,” Xiang Lei replied.

“Wasn’t your rule to avoid drinking unless absolutely necessary? Who’s so important that you’d break it so easily?”

“I’m not fighting with you over the phone. If you want to argue, wait till I’m back in Beijing, and we’ll do it face-to-face.”

Starting on the eighth day, He Fei called twice daily without fail, always asking when Xiang Lei would return to Beijing.

“I’ll be back before classes start,” Xiang Lei said.

“Can’t you come two days early? I’m bored out of my mind!” He Fei shouted.

A few days later, Xiang Lei, probably fed up, told He Fei he’d arrive in Beijing at dawn three days later.

To He Fei, the Lunar New Year in the city was downright dull. Few relatives to visit, few old friends worth catching up with. Good food and new clothes didn’t hold the same excitement as in childhood. Firecrackers were banned, fireworks were nowhere to be seen, and every household kept its doors shut tight—no different from any other day.

Those vibrant memories of the New Year had likely been sealed away after his family moved to Beijing. In the early years, before middle school, He Fei could still follow his grandfather back to their rural hometown in northern Shaanxi for the holiday. But as the elders and old friends his grandfather visited each year passed away one by one, He Fei’s family never returned.

This New Year, He Fei spent a few days eating, drinking, and fooling around with high school buddies, then helped out at his cousin’s stall for a while. Beyond that, there was nothing else.

The night Xiang Lei boarded the bus back to Beijing, He Fei returned to their little home, played games until the early hours, and at 3 a.m., too exhausted to stay awake, called Xiang Lei: “I don’t feel like picking you up at the station. Is that okay?”

Xiang Lei retorted, “You’re doing this on purpose! You know what time I arrive, and you’re only saying this now? Even if you wanted to come, it’s too late—I took the bus, and we’re already past the Fourth Ring Road. Damn it!”

He Fei hung up, collapsed onto the bed, and fell asleep in less than a minute without even adjusting his position.

When Xiang Lei returned, He Fei checked the time—7 a.m. Asked why he was so late, Xiang Lei grimaced and said he’d left his wallet on the bus again. He Fei lightly smacked the back of his head. “You’re unbelievable! Wasn’t it a bus? Find the station’s number and ask!”

So Xiang Lei began making call after call, dialing seven numbers before finally reaching someone who could help.

Xiang Lei excitedly told He Fei the bus had turned around empty and was still on the road.

Half an hour later, the station called back: they’d contacted the driver, but he insisted no wallet or other items had been left behind.

Xiang Lei called Pei Yong, who said, “As long as you’re sure it was on the bus, I’ll definitely get it back for you.”

“Money lost, trouble avoided. Stop moping and get some sleep,” He Fei said.

“It’s not about the money—it’s the headache of replacing all those documents,” Xiang Lei grumbled.

“It might still turn up! Don’t worry.” He Fei stretched out an arm, and Xiang Lei lay down beside him.

He Fei started undressing Xiang Lei, who protested, “I haven’t showered. I stink.” He Fei said it was fine, he just wanted to hold him, then deliberately buried his nose in Xiang Lei’s neck, took a deep whiff, and grimaced. “Yeah, you reek. Go wash up.” After the shower, Xiang Lei asked, “Do I smell good now?” He Fei sniffed his neck again and said, “Mm, not stinky anymore.”

Dialogues like “Did you miss me?” “So much.” “Me too.” were unlikely between these two. So they simply held each other and slept.

Before drifting off, He Fei brushed his lips against Xiang Lei’s ear and murmured, “Good boy. Even though we’ve saved up for over half a month, we’re both too tired now. We’ll have fun later tonight.”

Xiang Lei, torn between laughter and exasperation, asked how He Fei managed to say such things with a straight face.

“Sleep, sleep,” He Fei murmured, eyes closed, curling his arm beneath Xiang Lei’s neck.

That afternoon, Pei Yong’s call woke them.

Pei Yong said the wallet had been found, but the money was gone—the driver insisted it had been empty when recovered. Xiang Lei said there hadn’t been much anyway, so let it go. Pei Yong asked for Xiang Lei’s address and mailed the wallet back.