Chapter 4 – Liu Chong

13

When Xiang Lei mentioned he was writing a novel, no one responded except Liu Chong.

“Let me see! Let me see!”

Liu Chong eagerly took Xiang Lei’s handwritten manuscript and spent the entire afternoon flipping through it, looking totally engrossed. Sometimes he burst out laughing, sometimes he exclaimed in amazement—”Holy shit!” “How is this even possible?” “Damn, that’s wild!”—and so on. Naturally, someone had to poke fun at Liu Chong, asking if he was planning to join Xiang Lei’s “organization.” On this point, Liu Chong had an unusually high immunity. He would either laugh it off or, with a wink, declare: “I’m one level above Xiang Lei—I’m fucking bi, I swing both ways.”

“So you’re planning to take Xiang Lei as your little concubine?”

“Don’t insult Laozi’s taste!” Before Liu Chong could react, Xiang Lei had already shouted back.

The guys sprawled all over the dorm started chattering away.

“What’s wrong with our Liu Chong? He’s got the looks, the build, and the size ain’t small either!”

Liu Chong grinned.

“Hey, Xiang Lei, what’s your type?”

“Some tough guy, right? Like Old Zhang here—big and burly, just screams—ah, fuck, Old Zhang, my bad.”

“Hey, Xiang Lei, are you the man or the woman in the relationship?”

“You’re hilarious! Isn’t that obvious?”

“Hey, have you guys seen that sissy from the law department? The way they act and talk—damn! After seeing them, you’d think someone like Xiang Lei would have to play the male role. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be weird?”

“Hey, Xiang Lei, how do you guys even do it?”

“You don’t actually use that one hole, do you?”

“Huh? That’s fucking gross. What if the other guy suddenly has to take a dump in the middle of it?”

Xiang Lei sat on his upper bunk, flipping aimlessly through a magazine, never responding.

“Tsk, tsk, pulling out your little brother covered in shit—disgusting—”

“Fuck you—”

“Xiang Lei, be honest—have you ever had a crush on anyone in our department?”

Xiang Lei glanced at the guy. “Not a single one.”

“What about Hu Ya? Ever considered him? He’s built like a tank down there!”

“Your grandpa!” Hu Ya snapped.

“Liu Chong, then? He’s not much worse than the male lead in ‘Meteor Garden¹A Taiwanese drama series from 2001. It is an adaptation of the shojo manga “Hana Yori Dango” and tells the story of a poor teenage girl who clashes with her school’s four wealthiest and most handsome boys..'”

“Fuck off!” Liu Chong laughed.

“I bet it’s He Fei? After all, he’s a lady-killer. Probably hard for guys to resist too.”

“Bullshit!” He Fei barked.

Xiang Lei stretched lazily and lay down, muttering, “I already told you not to assume Laozi has such shit taste!”

It was obvious Xiang Lei’s afternoon meeting hadn’t gone well. The others lost interest and soon found other ways to amuse themselves.

14

Liu Chong lived up to his name—he burst back into the dorm in a frenzy.

“Hey, guys! Guess who I just ran into?”

All eyes in the dorm turned to him, but Liu Chong just gasped dramatically. “Holy shit! Fuck me!”

“What’s wrong with you?” the others scolded.

“I was making out with my girlfriend when suddenly I really had to piss…”

“Look at this guy, flexing his vocabulary.”

“Since Teaching Building No. 3 was the closest, I went there. So I’m standing there, relieving myself, when someone walks up to the urinal next to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I couldn’t help but notice them. Then I took a proper look—oh my god!”

“Not that sissy from the law department?”

“Even higher level—the one from the English department! Hey, someone hand me a bag so I can show you guys.”

They searched for a while but couldn’t find one—asking for a handbag in a boys’ dorm was just absurd. Liu Chong propped his elbow against his side, twisted his right hand palm-up, and draped Zheng Dongming’s jacket over his middle finger. Then he strutted around the dorm, swaying his hips, sending everyone into fits of laughter. Just then, a guy from the next dorm pushed open the door, saw the scene, and nearly lost his eyeballs: “Holy shit, Liu Chong! You planning to walk the runway now?”

Liu Chong continued, “You guys have all seen this person around, right? I was so stunned, my piss just stopped mid-stream—no matter how hard I tried, nothing came out. The guy must’ve noticed something because he slowly turned his head and gave me this fleeting, sidelong glance—oh mama, it sent shivers down my spine.”

“Fuck! Show us how he looked!”

“I can’t imitate it. You’ll have to imagine it—that kind of look where they think they’re being irresistibly seductive.”

Immediately, everyone turned to the guy next to them, rubbing their goosebumps while trying to mimic that soul-stealing gaze. After a moment, they all shuddered in unison. Only Xiang Lei, clutching his stomach, laughed until his eyes disappeared.

“Liu Chong, did he look you up and down?”

“I didn’t stick around to find out! I yanked up my pants and bolted—almost wiped out at the door!”

After some discussion, it turned out Zhou Yunzhi was the only one in the dorm who hadn’t “encountered” this person on campus. Liu Chong suddenly remembered his girlfriend was still waiting by the campus lake, so he rushed out of the dorm again.

From that day on, we noticed Xiang Lei started being more cautious about using the restroom—he’d check the situation and pick his timing, only going to the urinal if no familiar faces were around.

15

Liu Chong sidled up to Xiang Lei with exaggerated secrecy and asked if he knew about the messages scrawled on the bathroom stall doors on the fourth floor of Teaching Building No. 2. Xiang Lei shook his head.

“They’re messages from your people—hookup ads. Haven’t you noticed them when you go to the bathroom during Marxist Philosophy class?”

Xiang Lei still shook his head.

“They’re packed with QQ numbers, and some even have phone numbers—who knows if they’re real or fake. There are even a few drawings, damn, and they’re pretty damn vivid!” Liu Chong went on.

“For example, if you ever piss me off, I could write your phone number on every bathroom stall, claiming you’re a free-for-all male escort. The number would be real, but the person answering it? Not so much,” Xiang Lei said.

“Fuck! You’re ruthless! There’s even a note saying someone waits by the east staircase on the fourth floor every Friday at 8 p.m. Hey, let’s check it out this Friday.”

Xiang Lei stared wide-eyed at Liu Chong. “Are you out of your mind?”

“I’m just curious. I wanna see what your people are like.”

“Go by yourself. I’m not interested.”

“Why not? Aren’t you always looking for company?”

“No reason. Even if someone really waits there, they’d only be looking for physical satisfaction.”

“And what do you want to satisfy?”

“Emotional needs! What, are you a fucking reporter now? So many questions!”

“I don’t get it. If a hot girl was this direct, who the hell would care if it was physical or emotional?”

Xiang Lei let out a short, derisive laugh and said nothing more.

Liu Chong was a master at pestering people. He kept badgering Xiang Lei, insisting they go check out the fourth floor of Teaching Building No. 2 together on Friday night. In the end, Xiang Lei only gave him two words in response: “Grow up!”

16

Friday afternoon, after class, Xiang Lei went to take a shower alone.

He Fei sneered, “You going out to meet another internet friend?” Xiang Lei smiled but didn’t answer—which was as good as a yes. The moment Xiang Lei left the dorm, Liu Chong started bouncing around excitedly.

“Fuck! I’m going too! I’ll tail him! Tail him! I’m tailing him!” he muttered to himself.

To do this, Liu Chong called his girlfriend and canceled their afternoon date. The guys naturally teased him mercilessly, but he just made a face and said, “Xiang Lei wouldn’t even want me anyway.” Then he sneaked out after Xiang Lei.

On the bus, Xiang Lei spotted Liu Chong.

“You—”

“Hey, what a fucking coincidence!” Liu Chong cut in.

“Where are you going?”

“Just wandering around.” Liu Chong grinned.

When Xiang Lei got off at Xizhimen, Liu Chong followed.

“You—”

“Shouldn’t you call the guy?” Liu Chong interrupted again.

“No! Why are you following me?”

“I’ll stand over there. I won’t get in your way.” Liu Chong kept smiling.

Xiang Lei didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but since he’d already set a time and place online, he couldn’t contact the other guy to change plans. He had no choice but to let Liu Chong watch from a distance.

Xiang Lei had never imagined things would turn out like this. Liu Chong’s curiosity was almost pathological. If the guy had any gay tendencies himself, he should’ve been terrified of falling into this pit. But for someone with no gay inclinations to be this obsessed with gay affairs? That was just fucking bizarre!

Having this freak observing from the sidelines was maddening!

Liu Chong kept inching closer, though not too close, his eyes darting around while he bombarded Xiang Lei with questions.

“Hey, what time did you agree to meet?”

“Hey, how old is he?”

“Hey, did he say what he’s wearing?”

“Hey, how long have you known him?”

“Hey, what does he do?”

Xiang Lei was at his wit’s end and told Liu Chong to back off—if the other guy saw this, he’d think it was some kind of prank!

Reluctantly, Liu Chong moved a bit farther away. “Hey, say something. Let me see if I can hear you.”

Xiang Lei was on the verge of a breakdown.

After staring for a while with no sign of anyone, Xiang Lei finally walked over to Liu Chong and asked, “I’m heading back. You coming?”

“Where is he? Did he stand you up?” Liu Chong cried, disappointed.

“We saw each other. He probably recognized me and felt too awkward to say hello, so he left.”

“Where? Where? Recognized you? Is he from our department?” Liu Chong asked, still scanning the area.

“Let’s go. Stop being ridiculous!” Xiang Lei said, heading for the bus stop.

Liu Chong wasn’t ready to give up. He ran to where Xiang Lei had been standing and looked around until he spotted a vaguely familiar figure. He circled around to get a look at the guy’s face and thought, Oh, it’s that kid from Room 202, from the School of Mechanical and Electrical Engineering. The entire second floor only has their dorm and Room 201 from other departments. We pass their room every time we go back to ours, so even though we’ve never really talked, his face is way too familiar.

Liu Chong caught up to Xiang Lei and excitedly said he knew who it was, but Xiang Lei ignored him.

“Didn’t you guys ask where each other was from? Why not just meet on campus instead of coming all the way here? Why would seeing someone familiar make them too shy? Are you gonna keep seeing each other? Is that guy a top or a bottom? Is he your type, huh, Xiang Lei?”

Yep, Liu Chong was back with his endless questions. Xiang Lei never responded.

“Fuck! Answer me!” Liu Chong grabbed Xiang Lei’s sleeve.

“I’ll introduce you to him another day. You can ask him yourself,” Xiang Lei said.

From then on, after He Fei, Xiang Lei started avoiding Liu Chong too. Every time he saw Liu Chong, Xiang Lei couldn’t help but want to scream, “Help!”

17

“Fuck, I need to write a social research report too, okay?” Liu Chong often shouted this in the dorm.

The guy who stood Xiang Lei up was involuntarily outed—though only among the guys in a few nearby dorms. Ever since Liu Chong started talking about tailing Xiang Lei to that meeting, people often asked him to point out which guy it was. So whenever the guy went to the bathroom, played soccer on the field, or lined up in the cafeteria, Liu Chong would nudge whoever was nearby and say, “See? That’s the guy.”

Xiang Lei sternly told Liu Chong, “Pointing people out behind their backs is disgusting!”

“I fucking meant no harm!” Liu Chong protested, looking innocent.

“But maybe he minds the consequences of your ‘harmless’ behavior!” Xiang Lei shot back.

“What consequences? You mean he doesn’t want people to know he likes guys? What consequences did you face after people found out about you? Why don’t you mind? Did he ever contact you again?…”

Xiang Lei: Help!

Xiang Lei preferred to believe Liu Chong was just naively clueless—someone like that wouldn’t intentionally hurt others. But to be safe, it was best to keep your distance, because such people also didn’t understand what counted as harm.

For example, Liu Chong didn’t just share his “fascinating discoveries” with the guys in the dorm—he also enthusiastically discussed homosexuality with his girlfriend. Thankfully, Xiang Lei had made it clear earlier that he didn’t want the girls to know about his orientation, so when Liu Chong brought up the topic with his girlfriend, he at least didn’t name names.

Liu Chong took it further, saying there must be girls who didn’t like guys either, and he earnestly told his girlfriend to keep an eye out. If she heard any lesbian gossip, she should share it—it’d be even more interesting. His girlfriend stared at him in shock for a long moment before saying, “Liu Chong, are you… a little messed up in the head?”

“Fuck! Just watching her walk gets me hard, and she dares to question if I’m mentally ill?” Liu Chong complained to us, looking aggrieved.

The guys burst out laughing.

“Don’t think he’s joking—that hurt expression was probably genuine,” Xiang Lei said.

“What do you mean?” Liu Chong blinked in confusion.

“…” Xiang Lei just smiled.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s plain language. How else should I explain it?”

“I’m fucking asking what you mean!” Liu Chong fake-strangled Xiang Lei.

Xiang Lei: He—lp!

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  A Taiwanese drama series from 2001. It is an adaptation of the shojo manga “Hana Yori Dango” and tells the story of a poor teenage girl who clashes with her school’s four wealthiest and most handsome boys.