Chapter 33 – I Hope You’ll Always Love Me

Guan Lan had always thought he didn’t suffer from procrastination. Now, he realized he simply hadn’t encountered the right trigger in the first thirty years of his life. When it came to matters of the heart, his procrastination was severe.

Deep down, he knew that he and Zhuang Lin couldn’t continue like this forever. This relationship would eventually need to be addressed. But since Zhuang Lin hadn’t brought it up, Guan Lan played dumb, burying his head in the sand, stretching it out as long as possible.

Looking back now, his attitude of not taking initiative, not rejecting, and not taking responsibility was truly shameless.

The most effective cure for procrastination, of course, is a deadline.

Now, with this one-month deadline, he was forced to confront the issue head-on.

Sometimes, he would think, isn’t it just a relationship? At worst, it’s just a breakup. So what if it doesn’t last forever? How many people succeed in their first relationship?

But he was still afraid.

Not afraid of giving his heart to the wrong person, of having his devotion wasted on someone unworthy. More than that, he was afraid of messing it up, afraid that the heavens had given him such a beautiful love, and he wouldn’t be able to hold onto it.

The older he got, the more timid he became.

Guan Lan encouraged himself: What’s there to be afraid of? Half of the Chinese music industry is my harem. Can’t I handle a Zhuang Lin who’s head over heels for me? If I don’t seize this opportunity, I’ll really end up single for life!

Most importantly, he couldn’t keep being so shameless! Zhuang Lin had run ninety-nine steps toward him—he had to take that final step himself!

The question was, how to take that step.

He wasn’t like Zhuang Lin, who wanted to make a grand gesture. The blame lay with himself—he had become too proficient at being “thoughtful, caring, picking up and dropping off, accompanying meals and outings.” If he didn’t step it up a notch with Zhuang Lin, it wouldn’t show the depth of his feelings, as if he didn’t take Zhuang Lin seriously.

During the time they were preparing the album, Zhuang Lin had basically moved into Guan Lan’s place. Initially, he had shamelessly insisted on following Guan Lan home. Guan Lan had kicked him out twice, but after that, he didn’t seriously refuse anymore, letting him stay.

Although Chen Jin’s belongings were still at his place, he rarely spent the night there anymore. Where he was staying was obvious, and Guan Lan didn’t dare ask for details, afraid Chen Jin would seize the opportunity to bring up some inappropriate topic.

In other words, the two of them were practically living together.

In the morning, Guan Lan would wake up, groggily share a kiss with the person next to him, feel Zhuang Lin hugging and nuzzling him for a while, and then get up to make breakfast.

Guan Lan would get up as well, quickly make the bed, finish his morning routine, and sit at the dining table, watching Zhuang Lin’s bare back as he wore an apron and fried eggs. He thought, I’m not sure how we ended up living like this, but I guess I’m someone with a stable sex life now.

Guan Lan: “Is there anywhere you want to go?”

Zhuang Lin, pouring milk, didn’t catch it clearly: “What?”

Guan Lan: “When you were studying in the U.S., did you ever travel? Like Europe, France, Switzerland—anywhere you wanted to visit?”

Zhuang Lin: “Forget it. I’ve heard Europe is pretty chaotic now, not very safe.”

Guan Lan: “What about domestically?”

Zhuang Lin: “Do you want to go somewhere? Didn’t we just go to Saipan?”

Guan Lan: “No, I’m just asking.”

He subtly observed Zhuang Lin’s expression, feeling like he hadn’t thought too much about it.

Zhuang Lin: “Have you ever been on a yacht?”

Guan Lan: “Huh?”

Zhuang Lin: “A private yacht. Someone mentioned it the other day—sounds fun.”

Guan Lan: “Have I ever told you I’m a poor, uncultured bumpkin?”

Zhuang Lin: “…”

Guan Lan: “Well, I’m telling you now. This kind of bourgeois, extravagant lifestyle—never experienced it.”

Zhuang Lin quickly distanced himself from his own class: “I’m not bourgeois either! It was Li Yanyao who brought it up! He’s the pure-blooded bourgeois!”

Guan Lan looked at him in surprise: “Why so defensive? I don’t hate the rich.”

Zhuang Lin breathed a sigh of relief, subtly observing Guan Lan’s expression, feeling like he hadn’t thought too much about it.

As soon as Zhuang Lin left, Guan Lan started calling up a few wealthy friends he knew, trying to borrow a yacht.

His years of networking in the entertainment industry had never been more useful than at this moment.

After making these calls, rumors were probably already spreading that Guan Lan was organizing a lavish yacht orgy with his harem, but he couldn’t worry about that right now.

What he didn’t know was that as soon as Zhuang Lin left the house, he booked two tickets to Paris, silently patting himself on the back: I only glanced at Guan Lan’s ID once, but I’ve memorized his ID number. I’m amazing!

The next step was to sneak out Guan Lan’s passport while he was asleep!

Wait, no—the next step was to clear at least three days in his schedule. At this critical juncture of promoting the new album, just running off like this would undoubtedly earn him a scolding.

But it’s all for love!

Once the yacht was secured, Guan Lan busied himself with preparations.

He thought Zhuang Lin was quite Westernized, so everything—food, drinks, decorations, even the lighting and music—had to be classy and high-end.

This was a significant expense for him. But Zhuang Lin had been doing well this year, so his year-end bonus would be substantial. After all, the wool comes from the sheep.

At the same time, he noticed that Zhuang Lin seemed busy too. Thinking it was just the new album release, Guan Lan didn’t dwell on it.

That evening, the two of them lounged together watching TV, catching Chen Jin’s new interview show.

Zhuang Lin wasn’t happy, grumbling about changing the channel, but Guan Lan felt he hadn’t watched a single episode of his friend’s show, which made him a terrible friend, so he stopped Zhuang Lin.

Chen Jin performed well, complementing his serious and factual co-host He Yun, controlling the pace nicely, and managing to be engaging without resorting to forced humor.

But he clearly didn’t captivate the two in front of the TV.

Guan Lan thought: Is red wine a good pairing with lobster? I’m such a bumpkin—I really can’t tell. Who should I consult about this?

Zhuang Lin thought: Why is he watching so intently? Does he still have feelings for Chen Jin? Where does he keep his passport? And the Schengen visa—shouldn’t they be together? Would it be too obvious if I just asked him?

I should probably just search for them when he’s asleep.

Zhuang Lin muted the TV and leaned over to kiss Guan Lan.

Guan Lan was still pondering the merits of Bordeaux Lafite versus Scotch whisky when Zhuang Lin suddenly kissed him, startling him.

Just as he was about to push him away, Zhuang Lin’s hand slid into his pants with precision, and he instantly lost all strength.

Guan Lan: “At least… mmm… turn off the TV first…”

Zhuang Lin: “No, I want him to watch.”

Guan Lan looked at Chen Jin’s face on the TV, feeling utterly defeated.

What kind of ridiculous jealousy is this?

Guan Lan wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, but he felt Zhuang Lin was particularly energetic tonight, leaving him so exhausted he didn’t know if he passed out or fell asleep. Half-asleep, he thought he heard the sound of rummaging and wanted to nudge Zhuang Lin to check if there was a burglar, but he didn’t even have the strength to lift his hand.

The next morning, Guan Lan’s back ached, and his throat was hoarse. He didn’t want to get out of bed at all, wishing he could stay with the bed and blankets forever.

But he summoned his superhuman willpower and got up.

Guan Lan: “Are you free on the evening of the 20th?”

When Zhuang Lin heard “the 20th,” his heart skipped a beat, almost thinking his plan had been exposed.

He remained calm: “Why? Do you have something planned?”

Guan Lan: “I want to have dinner with you.”

Zhuang Lin: “Probably not. I’m flying out of town.”

Guan Lan felt a bit panicked. He had checked Zhuang Lin’s schedule and deliberately picked a time when he was free.

Zhuang Lin: “But if you want to have dinner with me, you could come with me.”

Guan Lan: “Where to?”

Zhuang Lin: “Shanghai.”

His flight was departing from Shanghai.

When Guan Lan heard “Shanghai,” his heart skipped a beat, almost thinking his plan had been exposed.

The yacht he borrowed was in Shanghai.

Guan Lan: “Okay, I’ll go with you.”

On the 20th, the two of them stood at Shanghai Hongqiao Airport, staring at each other in confusion.

Guan Lan looked at the two “Shanghai to Paris” boarding passes in Zhuang Lin’s hand, while Zhuang Lin looked at the Lincoln limousine Guan Lan had arranged to pick them up.

For a moment, the air seemed to freeze.

They stared at each other, both about to speak.

Guan Lan: “Don’t say anything. Let me go first.”

Zhuang Lin’s eyes sparkled as he looked at him.

Guan Lan took a deep breath, feeling a bit at a loss for words.

He sighed helplessly: “I had it all prepared before coming here… Let me collect myself. I’m a bit nervous.”

Zhuang Lin: “No rush, no rush. Should I go first?”

Guan Lan: “Shut up.”

Zhuang Lin shut up.

Guan Lan: “These are words I’ve never said to anyone before, because I hoped I’d only need to say them once in my lifetime.”

Guan Lan: “I’m sorry for dragging you into this relationship without your consent and for being too afraid to make a further commitment. Thank you for your patience, waiting for me to take this step—though it seems you’re not as patient as I thought.”

Guan Lan: “I don’t know why you love me, but since I love you too, I hope you’ll keep loving me in the future.”

At that moment, Zhuang Lin’s brain must have been hijacked by aliens, because he blurted out: “I never said I loved you, though?”

He spent the next hour apologizing.

Zhuang Lin: “I do love you! I love you so much! I’m crazy about you! I can’t live without you! I was just teasing because you looked so nervous! I’m an idiot! I was so happy I lost my mind! Forgive me, okay? Guan Lan! Lan Lan! Teacher Guan! Hubby! Hubby, are we going to Paris? I’ve already booked the flights and hotel!”

Guan Lan: “Shut up. Don’t embarrass us at the airport!”

Zhuang Lin: “Really, I had it all planned out—getting down on one knee and everything—but I should’ve known I’d forget it all the moment I saw you. I messed up my confession, so I’ll tell you every day from now on, okay?”

Guan Lan: “No, it’s annoying.”

Zhuang Lin: “Annoying or not, get ready to be annoyed for the rest of your life.”