Chapter 35 – I Only Have You

Guan Lan invited Chen Jin out for a hot pot meal.

Chen Jin: “Oh, you’ve left your skilled and virtuous little husband at home and came out to eat such lowbrow food with me. I really don’t understand you.”

Guan Lan sighed: “His cooking is good, but eating it every day is a bit too much for me.”

Guan Lan: “I have a strong palate, and from time to time, I crave rich, oily, spicy, and numbing flavors. He’s been feeding me soups and light dishes for days, and I’ve been craving hot pot more and more each day. I couldn’t resist anymore.”

Chen Jin: “Then tell him! Order the dishes you want!”

Guan Lan: “I just feel like I don’t do any housework at home, and now I’m being picky about food. Isn’t that too shameless?”

Chen Jin was stunned for a moment, then burst into laughter.

Chen Jin: “Do you remember how you used to tell me that we should talk things out, be open and honest, and clear everything up? But look at you now—you’re too scared to even ask for something spicy. You’re worse than me.”

Guan Lan: “Stop it, my face hurts.”

Guan Lan: “It’s only when it happens to you that you truly understand the feeling… He’s so proud of his cooking, and I’m afraid of hurting his feelings. I can’t bear to disappoint him even a little. Anyway, it’s not like I crave it every day. One meal today should last me half a month.”

Chen Jin, who wasn’t even single, still felt attacked.

Guan Lan: “My task is done. How about you?”

Chen Jin: “I’m done too. It wasn’t easy, but we’ve finally cleared everything up.”

Guan Lan was happy for him and rewarded him with the largest chicken wing.

Chen Jin: “But now he’s become overly sensitive. When it comes to financial matters, he didn’t have a clue before, but now that he’s aware, he feels like he was a total jerk and is deeply guilty, so he’s overcompensating. Last week, I noticed red rashes on his neck and thought he was allergic to something. Then I found out the material of the shirt he wore to work was off. I checked the label online, and guess what? It was a 600-yuan shirt from a budget brand in the mall.”

Chen Jin: “I bet he’s never worn a 600-yuan shirt in his life! Even I haven’t worn clothes in that price range for years!”

Guan Lan: “…That’s a bit excessive.”

Chen Jin: “It’s not entirely his fault. He later said his assistant bought it for him. I think he just told the assistant to buy something cheaper, but he didn’t have a clear idea of what price range would be appropriate.”

Chen Jin: “I told him that this issue ultimately stems from my own mindset, and it’s me who needs to change. He just needs to understand and accept me. There’s no need to lower his standard of living to accommodate me! And now, he’s even worse off than me! He got upset, thinking I was calling him spoiled. He even argued back, saying that there are so many people in the world who wear 60-yuan clothes and live just fine, so why can’t he wear 600-yuan clothes?”

Guan Lan: “…I never noticed before that he has such a princess-like temper.”

Chen Jin: “Honestly, I’m touched that he’s willing to do all this for me, but I feel like it’s really hard to reason with him. Unless we fight or have sex, nothing gets resolved.”

Guan Lan: “Wouldn’t things get even messier after that?”

Chen Jin: “In the end, I told him not to bother with these things anymore. From now on, I’ll take care of his wardrobe. Whatever I prepare for him, he’ll just wear it without question.”

Guan Lan: “He was very happy to hear that, and then you had sex again?”

Chen Jin: “…You really know him well.”

I don’t need to know him—his mind is as simple as a dog’s.

Guan Lan: “Actually, the ultimate solution to this is for the two of you to be financially transparent and share everything, just like a normal couple. He should hand over his salary, and you manage the finances. All major household expenses should come from the joint family account.”

Chen Jin: “He earns so much more than me. Wouldn’t that make me look like I’m after his money?”

It seemed the knot in Chen Jin’s heart wasn’t going to be untangled anytime soon.

But relationships always require adjustment. Although these two were a bit late to the adjustment phase, they were like a pair of penguin spouses—stumbling together to find food, building a nest, panicking while avoiding predators, fighting and making up, and at the end of the day, touching beaks and cuddling together, sweetly and warmly, albeit a bit foolishly.

After reflecting on this, Guan Lan ate two bowls of rice with the hot pot, then went to brush his teeth and rinse his mouth to avoid Zhuang Lin smelling the peppercorn scent when he got home.

Zhuang Lin was at home, browsing gossip.

Since successfully securing his position, his attitude toward gossip had completely changed. He now felt a sense of superiority, as if he were looking down on “these ignorant mortals” who didn’t know the truth.

However, this sense of superiority didn’t last long.

What’s the most painful thing in the world?

At first, Zhuang Lin thought it was falling in love with someone who only wanted to sleep with you. Later, he felt it was gradually realizing that the person didn’t actually want to sleep with you. Finally, Zhuang Lin came to the ultimate realization: none of these things mattered. The most painful thing in the world was going through all the hardships, using every trick in the book, finally winning their heart and body, repeatedly having sex with them, but not being able to tell anyone about it!

He and Guan Lan had been out and about so openly for days, yet the internet was dead silent. There wasn’t a single trace of them!

Do paparazzi and gossip reporters even have any sense of professionalism anymore?

Zhuang Lin even checked the harem ranking post and found that, as the end of the year approached, many people had been promoted in rank, but he was still stuck as a Favored Attendant!

Furious, he spammed the post:

“Where’s Zhuang Lin?

Where’s Zhuang Lin?

Zhuang Lin, Zhuang Lin, where’s Zhuang Lin?”

The “Vice Chairman of Guan Lan’s Harem Ranking Committee” replied: “There’s no rule for a newcomer to be promoted in their first year. Besides, Zhuang Lin’s current position is already an exception. It’s not appropriate to promote him again so soon.”

Zhuang Lin: …

But the humiliation didn’t stop there.

Someone replied: “Seems like the OP is really obsessed with Zhuang Lin… A fan of Zhuang Lin? Doesn’t seem like it. What kind of fan is this—a harem support fan? Could it be a CP fan?”

“Ah, then I have to hug the OP. Who can understand the bitterness of being in a cold CP fandom?”

Cold CP?

Cold CP?

Zhuang Lin’s heart turned icy cold at the word “cold.”

As a big name in the cold CP fandom, Zhuang Lin decided to produce some content himself.

He scoured his phone and found the most normal and least revealing photo.

It was a picture of Guan Lan working, wearing the black-framed glasses he only wore while working. He sat casually with his legs crossed, one hand holding a pencil as he scribbled on sheet music, the other hand gesturing as if playing an imaginary piano on the table. His sleeves were slightly rolled up, his fingers pale and delicate, his brows slightly furrowed, his gaze downcast—not an inch of inappropriate skin was showing, but it was incredibly sexy.

Zhuang Lin posted this photo on Weibo without any caption.

Less than five seconds after posting, Guan Lan walked through the door. Zhuang Lin reflexively threw his phone aside, feeling a bit guilty.

Zhuang Lin: “Why do you smell like peppercorns?”

Guan Lan took off his coat and tossed it aside, also feeling a bit guilty.

He’d only thought to brush his teeth but forgot that wool coats easily absorb smells.

Guan Lan calmly changed the subject: “What were you doing just now?”

Zhuang Lin snorted: “Reviewing the harem for His Majesty.”

Guan Lan: “…Were you browsing gossip posts again? Just ask me directly if you have questions. Reading those gossip posts is worse than reading fanfiction.”

I’d love to read fanfiction, but did you know we’re a cold CP? There’s no fanfiction to read!

Zhuang Lin: “I thought you’d be back later. Did the dinner end so early?”

Guan Lan: “Did I say it was a dinner? Oh, it wasn’t a dinner. I went out with Chen Jin.”

…Guan Lan’s tone was light and his expression open, so Zhuang Lin couldn’t get angry without looking unreasonable. But he was so frustrated he could die.

Guan Lan took a shower, used a fabric deodorizer on all his clothes, firmly rejected Zhuang Lin’s advances with the legitimate excuse of “having an early meeting tomorrow and no year-end bonus if I don’t go,” drank his nightly glass of beauty-enhancing red wine, and was about to turn off the bedside lamp when he saw Zhuang Lin looking at him with wet, puppy-dog eyes.

Guan Lan couldn’t stand that look and immediately lost all resolve. Just as he was about to say, “Fine, fine, I’ll use my hand,” Zhuang Lin spoke first.

Zhuang Lin: “Am I the Empress now?”

Guan Lan: “…Are we really not done with this today?”

Zhuang Lin knew he shouldn’t care about Guan Lan’s past because he was the present. Especially since Guan Lan was older, it was completely normal and justified for him to have more experience. But knowing and doing were two different things. As a mere mortal, Zhuang Lin found a wide gap between “understanding” and “acting on it.”

Guan Lan: “You’re not the Empress.”

Zhuang Lin was shocked that he still wasn’t the main wife: “I’m not?!”

Guan Lan: “There’s no harem, so how can there be an Empress? I only have you. There’s never been anyone else.”

Zhuang Lin: “…What do you mean, never?”

Guan Lan had previously been too proud to admit that he had no romantic history. But now that it had become a hidden issue affecting their relationship, it was better to clear the air sooner rather than later.

Guan Lan took out his phone, found the harem post, and handed it to Zhuang Lin: “Here, ask them one by one. Get it all out in the open.”

Zhuang Lin: “Lu Qing?”

Guan Lan: “…After sleeping with me for so long, don’t you know my orientation?”

Zhuang Lin: “Hmph, I’m doing this step by step, saving the biggest threats for last. NEXT?”

Guan Lan: “I think highly of this group, but I’ve never met any of them alone. It’s always been group activities.”

Zhuang Lin: “Yang Yuze?”

Guan Lan was surprised: “You’re even jealous of Yang Yuze?”

Zhuang Lin: “Why? Is there something special about him? Why can’t I be?”

Because he’s into you! Have your eyes been soaked in sulfuric acid?

But Guan Lan wasn’t going to remind him.

Guan Lan: “I only took him on because of his mother. His heart isn’t in music, and I’ve hardly seen him in the past two months.”

Zhuang Lin: “Oh, and there’s that foreign white moonlight!”

Guan Lan: “…What?”

Zhuang Lin: “Half-Russian, half-Chinese! Dreamy beauty! Heavenly high notes!”

Guan Lan was still confused until Zhuang Lin almost recited Ren Xiaofei’s description verbatim, at which point he vaguely remembered.

Guan Lan: “I only spent two months with that person. I don’t even remember what he looks like… I really didn’t know they thought of it that way. Back then, I was in a bad mood because of my parents’ relationship issues.”

Zhuang Lin: “Why didn’t you tell me!”

Guan Lan: “They didn’t end up divorcing. They’re still together, barely. It’s just frustrating when you’re in your twenties and your parents are going through a divorce. I’ll tell you more about it later. Keep going.”

The list gradually moved from the outer edges of the harem toward the inner palace.

Zhuang Lin: “Chen Jin?”

Guan Lan: “We pretended to be a couple once, but it was to piss off his ex—oh, now they’re back together, so he’s not an ex anymore. Anyway, I shouldn’t have agreed to such a ridiculous thing, but it was for a friend.”

Zhuang Lin: “Zhou Junzhuo?”

Guan Lan hesitated for a moment.

Zhuang Lin: “I knew it! I just knew it!”

Having only one ex-wife didn’t seem like something to celebrate or mourn.

Guan Lan: “You know nothing. We never got together, but he liked me.”

Zhuang Lin: “Did you reject him?”

Guan Lan: “He never gave me the chance to reject him. We’ve known each other for 15 years—half our lives. He knows better than to risk such a long-standing friendship. Now that we’re together, he probably already knows, so I don’t need to reject him directly. It’s an unspoken understanding, to avoid awkwardness.”

When Zhuang Lin heard “15 years” and the nostalgic tone in Guan Lan’s voice, the sourness in his heart surged uncontrollably, and his face turned green with jealousy.

Guan Lan: “Is there anyone else on your list?”

Zhuang Lin slowly, slowly raised his head and looked into Guan Lan’s eyes.

Guan Lan repeated his earlier words: “I only have you. There’s never been anyone else.”

Zhuang Lin pounced on Guan Lan, kissing him with a force that seemed to pierce his skin.

Guan Lan: “The year-end bonus—”

Zhuang Lin: “Forget it! I’ll earn it back for you!”