Chapter 5 – You Are the Rain of March

Guan Lan ran into Li Yanyao backstage at the variety show.

He wasn’t particularly keen on running around to so many events either. However, he was under pressure to meet performance targets at the company, and he had nearly a hundred people under him who needed to make a living. His performance this year had been mediocre, so he had no choice but to take advantage of the recent buzz to earn some appearance fees, at least contributing to the company’s revenue.

It’s just that there were always people online saying he was washed up, that he had run out of talent and couldn’t produce anything new, so he was just cashing in on the hype while he still could, and would have to rely on his past works to get by in the future.

Although he wasn’t so insecure as to believe that about himself, seeing such comments still annoyed him.

Of course, he would rather let his work speak for itself and not have to sell his face or persona, but the company wasn’t his family business—it wasn’t going to wait for him to get through his creative block in isolation.

He nodded at Li Yanyao, who was also feeling uneasy.

Li Yanyao knew that Guan Lan had met with Zhuang Lin, but he hadn’t been able to get anything out of Zhuang Lin about it. So, he could only worry in silence, fretting that Guan Lan might have tried to take advantage of Zhuang Lin, or that Zhuang Lin, with his lack of emotional intelligence, might have offended Guan Lan.

So, he approached Guan Lan, exchanged a few pleasantries, and then started probing for details about their meeting.

Guan Lan answered truthfully: “We just had a meal, chatted for a bit, and didn’t really reach any agreement on collaboration.”

Li Yanyao felt about 80% relieved.

It hadn’t worked out.

Based on his interactions with Guan Lan, he felt that while Guan Lan might be a bit of a flirt, he wasn’t malicious. He didn’t think Guan Lan was the type to retaliate out of spite just because he couldn’t sleep with someone.

However, Guan Lan then started asking him about Zhuang Lin: “How did Zhuang Lin end up signing with Huixin? Did you introduce him?”

Li Yanyao: “Not me. I think he has relatives at Huixin.”

He didn’t dare go into too much detail, afraid that Guan Lan still had his sights set on Zhuang Lin.

And Guan Lan did indeed seem like he hadn’t given up.

Guan Lan: “Huixin isn’t great with resources for singers. It’s a bit of a waste for him.”

Li Yanyao’s anxiety shot up another 30%: “He just returned to the country and doesn’t really understand the industry yet.”

Guan Lan: “He might not understand, but as his friend, you should explain it to him properly.”

Guan Lan left it at that, not saying anything more. Poaching someone required subtlety. If he scared them off and word got back to their company, it would be a mess.

Li Yanyao was having an internal meltdown: What does he mean by that? Does he want me to help set something up? Am I the kind of guy who pimps out his friends?

Actually, Guan Lan did want him to help set something up—just not the kind of setup Li Yanyao was thinking of.

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As someone in the entertainment industry, Guan Lan hadn’t seriously watched TV in years. So, he had no idea what variety shows were like these days.

In his mind, variety shows were still the kind where everyone sat in a studio, with a few hundred audience members in the seats, and a few celebrities and hosts chatting and playing games on stage.

Ren Xiaofei told him: “What you’re describing is called indoor variety shows. They still exist, but the hottest thing right now is outdoor variety shows.”

Then he gave Guan Lan a detailed explanation, complete with examples, of what outdoor variety shows were like.

Guan Lan got the gist of it, thanked him for the crash course, and thought to himself that if his assistant had time to watch so many variety shows, his workload must not be heavy enough.

The theme of this episode was Werewolf.

There were three werewolves and six villagers. Everyone would complete tasks in a building. The villagers could earn item cards by completing tasks, granting them abilities like verifying someone’s identity, reviving someone, or taking someone down with them when they died. The werewolves were also completing tasks, but their tasks were about killing.

Every half hour, they would gather for a meeting to vote out a werewolf.

The appeal of this setup wasn’t so much the tasks as the intrigue and drama.

Whether by good or bad luck, Guan Lan drew a werewolf card right from the start.

His expression didn’t change. He glanced at it and then tucked it away.

In reality, he was at a loss, unsure of what to do.

When night fell on the first day, the villagers were blindfolded and sat in place while the werewolves quietly gathered in the werewolf room. They had five minutes to discuss their plans.

As soon as Guan Lan walked in, he saw Li Yanyao.

They stared at each other in stunned silence.

Then Chen Jin walked in.

Now it was three of them, equally stunned.

Chen Jin was a regular on the show. After Ren Xiaofei’s explanation, Guan Lan knew that Chen Jin was the designated “idiot” of the cast, responsible for being clueless. Whether he was genuinely dumb or just playing it up for the show, his IQ was definitely going to be offline for the entire episode.

Guan Lan felt like the werewolves were doomed.

Chen Jin: “So… what do we do? I’m freaking out.”

Guan Lan: “It doesn’t matter who we kill. Let’s draw lots.”

And so, the first meeting of the first round of werewolves concluded in under a minute.

The killing tasks were complicated and definitely couldn’t be completed in half an hour.

It made sense—if the first person died within half an hour and only had a tiny bit of screen time, the show’s producers would have a hard time explaining it to the fans and would likely get roasted.

So, they kept up a pace of killing one person every two rounds.

Guan Lan maintained an outward appearance of “this is my first time on a variety show, I’m not sure what’s going on, can someone explain the tasks to me?” which didn’t raise any suspicions. Chen Jin’s character was that of a fool, and his foolishness somehow managed to come off as convincingly genuine.

The biggest liability turned out to be Li Yanyao.

This guy had one huge weakness: pretty girls.

There was a young girl who stuck to him the entire time, calling him “big brother” over and over, and Li Yanyao was completely disoriented. Guan Lan was sure he had been thoroughly interrogated and spilled everything.

Sure enough, in the next round of voting, the girl bared her fangs.

She said, “I got an item card in the first round and verified that Li Yanyao is a werewolf, so I stayed close to him to find his weaknesses. Now I’ll list his suspicious points: one, two, three, four. I hope everyone can unite and vote him out.”

Li Yanyao, suddenly stabbed in the back, was completely stunned, his face a picture of shattered worldview.

Guan Lan thought that while this teammate was a liability, they were already at a numbers disadvantage. Losing someone right at the start would be too damaging, so he had to try to protect him. Besides, the girl’s ability to control the room was mainly due to her confident tone and clear reasoning. The suspicious points she listed weren’t solid evidence and could easily be refuted. He might still be able to turn things around.

He was still organizing his thoughts when it was Chen Jin’s turn to speak. Without a second of hesitation, Chen Jin stabbed Li Yanyao in the back again, betraying his teammate with a righteous expression.

Li Yanyao’s eyes went blank. There was nothing left in this world worth living for.

…Guan Lan had no choice. He couldn’t take on the whole world by himself.

Li Yanyao was voted out by a landslide.

First round, second werewolf meeting.

Chen Jin: “What do we do, Teacher Guan? Should we kill Liang Yanyan?”

Liang Yanyan was the girl who had accused Li Yanyao.

Chen Jin: “Right now, everyone thinks she’s a villager and listens to her. She’s a huge threat to us.”

Guan Lan: “We’re not killing her. If we kill her, it’ll confirm that she’s a villager and Li Yanyao is a werewolf.”

Chen Jin: “…Isn’t that already confirmed?”

Guan Lan: “Not at all. Right now, everyone’s just talking out of their asses. The villagers’ alliance is fragile and can be easily broken with a little provocation. They still have a revival card they haven’t used. We need to guide them into thinking Li Yanyao was wrongfully accused and then bring him back.”

Chen Jin wore a look of “what you’re saying is way beyond my IQ.”

Chen Jin: “…So who do we kill?”

Guan Lan: “Draw lots.”

They managed to sow discord among the villagers, but they didn’t manage to vote out Liang Yanyan or bring back Li Yanyao. After a few more rounds, Chen Jin was exposed and met a heroic end.

…Guan Lan didn’t have much hope for his two teammates to begin with. He has been preparing to fight alone from the start.

As the numbers dwindled, the tension grew.

When only four people were left, a young singer mysteriously approached Guan Lan with a piece of paper: “Teacher Guan, what do you think this clue means?”

On the paper was a line of text:

“You are the rain of March, a fish trapped in a bubble.”

Guan Lan immediately recognized that the clue was pointing to him—both lines were lyrics from his songs, though originally from two different songs that had been forcibly mashed together.

He thought for five seconds: “I think this person’s birthday is in March and they’re a Pisces.”

The young singer’s big eyes sparkled with admiration: “Teacher Guan, you’re so smart!”

Then he crouched down and started looking up everyone’s birthdays.

Guan Lan leaned over, pretending to be interested.

After all, he wasn’t a Pisces himself.

The young singer: “Oh, it’s Sister Yanyan! She’s a Pisces born in March! So she really is a werewolf! That was close!”

…Well, an unexpected win.

So he killed the young singer.

Guan Lan’s plan was for the singer to accuse Liang Yanyan in his dying words, but the kid had been holding onto a hunter card and, without hesitation, took Liang Yanyan down with him.

The referee announced: One villager and one werewolf remain. The werewolves win.

When Guan Lan revealed his identity, it left many people questioning their lives.

Guan Lan hadn’t expected that variety shows could actually be this fun.

While removing his makeup backstage, Chen Jin chatted with him: “Teacher Guan, you’ve got a real knack for variety shows.”

By now, Chen Jin had shed his silly persona from the show and seemed perfectly normal.

Guan Lan: “Really? I’m not sure.”

Chen Jin: “Yeah, you were the highlight of the whole show. When it’s edited, it’ll basically be your special episode.”

Guan Lan told the honest truth: “Actually, it’s probably just that everyone isn’t familiar with me, so they didn’t dare suspect me or vote for me.”

Chen Jin: “Not at all. Everyone in variety shows is a natural at getting close to people. There’s no such thing as being too shy.”

Guan Lan found Chen Jin quite interesting—his on-screen and off-screen personas were like night and day. Acting foolish wasn’t hard, but doing it so seamlessly that it came off as naturally endearing took real skill.

Guan Lan said sincerely: “I think you’re really impressive.”

Chen Jin smiled at him.

Chen Jin: “Don’t let my current act fool you. I’ve released albums too. If I could make a living off singing, I wouldn’t be here playing the fool.”

Suddenly, Guan Lan realized that Chen Jin’s voice was actually quite pleasant.