Chapter 6: Lack of Love, Seeking Love

In the middle of the night, Qin Yan developed a fever and lost consciousness.

The illness, which had been lurking in his body since he returned from the funeral two days ago, finally surfaced.

In the dim room, on the crimson bedsheets, the young man was trapped in a nightmare. His body shook in waves, and his lips trembled like a fish stranded on shore, sweat pouring out in a thin, glistening layer.

He tossed and turned, his arms clutching the pile of clothes on the bed, his fingers splayed out as if trying to grab something, but only managing to catch a piece of clothing. The silk fabric slipped through his fingers like a slippery fish.

“Cold… so cold… hold me…”

“Whoo—” The electric fan by the bed hummed. It was the end of May, and after the light rain, the temperature had risen quickly.

“Cold… Shurong…” He used both his hands and feet, clutching the pile of clothes, curling up like a child.

“Crack—crack—crack—”

The fan suddenly malfunctioned, making a crackling sound, but it kept spinning. The wind grew slower and slower.

After a while, he kicked the clothes away, no longer feeling cold, but now feeling hot.

The fan paused for a moment, but unfortunately, its wind speed kept dropping.

“Hot…”

“Crack…”

The window was open, and the moonlight crept in. The fan’s shadow on the floor slowly twisted and stretched, growing arms, resembling the shadow of a person.

It grew longer, longer, longer…

The shadow finally climbed onto the bed, like a soft, gentle blanket covering Qin Yan. Despite shivering from the cold, his expression slowly calmed down, and he stopped sweating or mumbling.

The night passed quietly, and he slept until morning. The next day was bright and sunny, with sunlight filling the small room.

At 7 a.m., Qin Yan woke up on time, and the fever had already subsided. He had no memory of what happened the night before or what nightmare he had, only wondering why he had sweated so much.

When he heard the strange cracking sound, he realized the fan was broken. The fan blades were spinning slowly, even an old lady walking would be faster than that.

He wasn’t surprised; he was used to it. He gave the fan a hard slap, and it paused for a moment, making a painful screech before returning to normal.

Qin Yan enjoyed the breeze for a while before getting out of bed. After washing up, he stood in the living room, unsure of what to do next. There were still two days left of his vacation.

He stood there for a while, then remembered the dirty clothes in the laundry basket, the floor still needed cleaning, and the blanket — a big job, hard to clean, and had been used for two years. It was a cheap online buy… After thinking about it, Qin Yan decided to throw the blanket away.

Half an hour later, after finishing all the housework, he returned to his daze. What should he do next?

The fan had broken last night, leaving him sweating, and the clothes he used to make a nest were stained with sweat. They should be cleaned for reuse.

After washing the clothes and hanging them out to dry, Qin Yan felt like a robot with no program set. He wandered aimlessly around the house.

After a few turns, his stomach growled, and he realized it was time for breakfast. This state wasn’t good; he hesitated, wondering if he should end his vacation early and return to his busy work.

The rice porridge was ready, and the kitchen smelled pleasant. Just as Qin Yan lifted the lid, there was a knock at the door. He put the lid back down and peeked through the peephole — it was Zhou Langxing again.

He was holding a familiar bag of food. This time, he probably didn’t bring soy milk.

Has he become addicted to showing kindness?

Qin Yan felt a little helpless. He had just decided to distance himself from Zhou Langxing yesterday. Should he pretend not to be home?

But thinking of Zhou Langxing with his bulky plastered leg, Qin Yan’s already soft heart melted. He muttered to himself, “Someone with a leg injury might be worried about me. He came to check on me. How could I harden my heart and turn him away?”

He really couldn’t help it, so he let him in. Qin Yan couldn’t bring himself to say anything harsh to make him leave.

Forget it. Let things flow naturally.

Once he starts working and Zhou Langxing starts school, their separate lives would slowly drift apart.

But he couldn’t help but be curious. He wasn’t the only one heartbroken. Why isn’t Zhou Langxing staying with his old father?

Zhou Langxing was still in dark clothes but had put a lot of thought into his outfit—such as the long silver pendant chain around his neck. And the several large pockets of his dark gray-green work pants were adorned with iron silver rings.

Today, he had a new hairstyle, his hair pulled back into a small ponytail at the back of his head. His ear studs were changed to black crosses.

Still exuding a cool and fashionable vibe, very eye-catching.

But the most eye-catching thing was his plastered leg. Zhou Langxing had even cut off the leg of his pants to make room for the cast.

To be honest, it was pretty funny. But laughing would be rude, so Qin Yan held back and tried to focus on Zhou Langxing’s face.

“Why don’t you spend more time with your family?”

Curious, Qin Yan asked, partly hoping that Zhou Langxing would stay home more. After all, with an injury, why bother getting involved in so much fuss?

Zhou Langxing, walking with a cane, displayed a different kind of agility, showing the confidence of youth.

When he heard Qin Yan mention his father, he scoffed, swinging the bag of buns fiercely. It landed with a slap on the coffee table as if the bag wasn’t filled with food, but with his enemies.

“Don’t bring it up. He doesn’t need my concern. After one night, everything went back to normal. He went back to work and didn’t even come home at night!”

When his father was mentioned, he was full of complaints, his face darkened, and there was resentment in his tone.

Then, he realized who he was venting in front of, and his brows furrowed. He faintly regretted his explosive temper.

When it came to pretending, Zhou Langxing was no match for Zhou Shurong!

Zhou Shurong was always calm and gentle, and people often couldn’t tell when he was angry.

Zhou Langxing pressed his lips together tightly, turned his back on Qin Yan, and glanced at the coffee table. He didn’t even know if the buns had been squashed from his earlier forceful swing.

“I… I didn’t buy soy milk today,” he said in a low voice.

“You know I don’t drink soy milk?”

Qin Yan’s voice came from behind him, still gentle, like a pool of autumn water, calm but always creating ripples. “I didn’t expect you to notice. Actually, it doesn’t matter if you bought it. Anyway, once you swing it like that, it spilled out. I can’t drink it now.”

Qin Yan teased, not realizing that his voice had become lighter. Seeing Zhou Langxing standing motionless in place, he thought it might be because of his leg, so he quickly stepped forward to assist.

He grasped Zhou Langxing’s firm forearm.

Zhou Langxing seemed to have been shocked by an electric current, the sensation rapidly spreading from the point of contact, sliding down his back, and rushing into the back of his head. It felt like his brain was going to burn out.

Quick, save me!

His whole body was stiffened like a popsicle, rigid and cold, yet strangely obedient, as Qin Yan pressed him onto the sofa.

Qin Yan helped Zhou Langxing sit down, took his cane away, and the man made no resistance, staring blankly at him, as though he had lost all his sharp edges.

Qin Yan sighed inwardly, feeling a sense of pity—no wonder Zhou Shurong was so easily swayed by him. Two brothers so lacking in love, it wouldn’t be surprising if a little bit of concern from others had them dizzy and confused.

Immediately, Qin Yan’s gaze towards Zhou Langxing changed.

There was a touch of tenderness in his eyes.

It makes sense to pamper daughters.

What’s lacking, what’s loved!

“You…” Zhou Langxing was still immersed in the lingering sensation when Qin Yan’s gaze made him uneasy. He couldn’t quite understand it, and touching his face, he asked, “Is there something on my face?”

Qin Yan’s expression was kind, “Yes.”

“What is it?”

“You’re a bit handsome.” Qin Yan smiled and walked toward the kitchen.

Actually, it was fine that Zhou Langxing came over. With his presence, he wouldn’t feel lonely, and his dazed state seemed to have met its match, vanishing without a trace.

Now, his mind was very clear.

Zhou Langxing couldn’t believe his eyes, staring at Qin Yan’s back, wondering if he had misheard. Did Qin Yan just joke with him?

He had taken the initiative to help him, gently and tenderly—hard to believe this was the same Qin Yan from yesterday who had subtly distanced himself and remained guarded.

Counting the days, it had been five days since Zhou Shurong passed away.

Had he started to recover?

He pondered, and if Zhou Shurong hadn’t met Qin Yan first, seizing the opportunity, then Qin Yan’s boyfriend would be him, Zhou Langxing!

The corner of Zhou Langxing’s mouth curled up into a big smile, and he tried to hide it, determined to maintain his cool persona.

Qin Yan brought over a bowl of millet porridge and asked, “Does your tooth hurt?”

“Ahem, no.” Zhou Langxing tried to suppress his smile but couldn’t quite manage it, so he put his hand near his mouth to form a small shelter and muttered, “Xiao long bao with porridge, hmm, very good!”

“Of course it’s good. What’s missing is what you should supplement.”

Zhou Langxing didn’t catch the deeper meaning behind the words.

Qin Yan personally scooped a bowl of porridge and placed it in front of him, showing utmost care, softly advising, “Drink slowly, it’s hot.”

Zhou Langxing hesitated, unsure how to react. The contrast was too great—just yesterday, Qin Yan had scrutinized him, and today he was concerned for him.

Could it be… that Qin Yan had come to terms with things and decided not to distance himself, but treat him as a replacement for Zhou Shurong?

He stared at the bowl of porridge, feeling conflicted for a few seconds, before quickly feeling cheerful.

Being a replacement wasn’t such a bad idea!

He took a sip of porridge and happily wondered if he should wear Zhou Shurong’s clothes tomorrow, be more professional, and act more like him?

Suddenly, he felt a chill on his back, as if someone was watching him.

“Did you turn on the air conditioning?”

“Yeah, 28°C. Do you feel cold or hot?”

“Cold… maybe cold?” His voice was uncertain.

“I’ll turn it off.”

It was already 28°C, and if the temperature was raised further, it would be no different from the outside. Zhou Langxing’s fear of the cold seemed reasonable to Qin Yan, considering he was a patient.

The porridge was freshly made and hot. After breakfast, Qin Yan’s nose started to sweat, his cheeks flushed red.

Zhou Langxing felt the porridge was hot but his back was cold. The intention to get close was too obvious, and he felt guilty, as though Zhou Shurong was silently cursing him behind his back.

Once he thought it was Zhou Shurong’s spirit causing this, he felt something was wrong with everything.

The television screen in front of him was dim and deep, like a huge eye, watching his every move…

Zhou Langxing shivered, not wanting to stay. He leaned on his cane and entered the kitchen, asking Qin Yan, who was about to wash the dishes, “Have you been out to relax these days?”

Qin Yan was slightly surprised and said no.

“Do you want to go for a drive?”

“A drive?”

Qin Yan looked at his leg and then remembered that Zhou Shurong died in a car accident. His lips turned pale.

“I misspoke. I meant a walk!” Zhou Langxing lifted his plastered leg, “I can’t drive with this leg, and the family driver brought me here, dropped me off, and left.”

Qin Yan hesitated, his rubber gloves halfway on.

“Let’s go for a walk, come on?”

Zhou Langxing was quite professional now, having switched his mindset to that of a replacement, no longer suppressing himself or pretending to be aloof. His voice carried a hint of coquettishness.

A fashionable cool guy pretending to be pitiful had no experience, and it didn’t work. But once people noticed his attempt to act coy, he suddenly seemed pitiable.

Qin Yan couldn’t understand why Zhou Langxing had suddenly become so close to him. Just yesterday, he had been cold, subtly impatient after repeated rejections.

Today, there was no guard, and it felt like a younger brother trying to gain his attention.

He looked closely at Zhou Langxing and wondered if there were any inappropriate thoughts.

Perhaps, he was just seeing him as another older brother?

It wasn’t hard to understand. The older brother was gone, and the father couldn’t grieve in the same way. He had to find someone else to comfort him.

Qin Yan wasn’t sure, but a walk wouldn’t hurt, especially since he had been feeling physically weak recently.

“But doesn’t your leg need to rest?”

Zhou Langxing seemed indifferent toward his own condition. “It’s fine, I’m healing fast. The cast will be removed in a few days.”

He wasn’t bothered, and seeing Qin Yan move slowly, he pushed him out of the way with surprising agility for someone with a broken leg, quickly washing the dishes. He certainly seemed healthy.

But then Qin Yan remembered that Zhou Langxing had said he was cold.

“Your hand is injured. Don’t get it wet, it’ll heal slower!”

Qin Yan sighed, taking off his rubber gloves. His injured thumb had already been covered with a band-aid. “I didn’t get it wet, I wore gloves.”

“What about when you shower?”

“The band-aid is waterproof.”

“Does it still hurt?”

“No.”

Zhou Langxing asked a question, and Qin Yan answered, the atmosphere visibly harmonious.

Soon, Zhou Langxing had washed two bowls, shook the water off his hands, and turned to look at Qin Yan, his mouth forming a straight line before pulling out an amusing smile and saying:

“I’ll wash the dishes, you give me a reward. Want to go for a walk?”

Qin Yan also turned his mouth into a straight line, barely holding back a smile.

“Alright. This kind of affordable reward is really rare.”