MY 21

“I hate it even more that you’re meeting gay bast—no, other bastards. So, let’s just lay it all out and talk about a solution. I’m asking what you’re going to do about this situation. What is it I’m supposed to do for you? What do you want from me?”

Won Wooje took a step closer. Han Seolwoo took a step back without even realizing it.

“…Do what, for what.”

“There must be something you want.”

Won Wooje, who had come right up to his face, grabbed his wrist. Han Seolwoo’s back hit the hard wall.

“Holding hands, stuff like this?”

Won Wooje whispered in a low voice. Han Seolwoo’s shoulders flinched and trembled. The fingers that had been slithering down from his wrist began to interlace with his as if soaking into them. Han Seolwoo looked down at Won Wooje, pulling his chin back instinctively. His blood pumped quickly and his heart went thump-thump.

He didn’t even have the leisure to think of anything else. His speech was blocked by his startled heart. He didn’t have a clue what the other man was trying to do.

“What… like this?”

Won Wooje tilted his chin at an angle. He slid his arm into the gap created between the wall and Han Seolwoo’s back and wrapped it around his waist. Won Wooje’s face gradually drew closer. It was getting so close it felt as if their lips might touch.

“Like this…”

Thud, a dull sound rang out. Won Wooje, who had been pushed back by strong force, fell and landed on his butt. His face, scrunched up tightly, looked very painful. However, this wasn’t a situation where one could apologize to Won Wooje or consider his circumstances. Because he himself had never once thought about Won Wooje in that way.

“Ah, fuck…”

“Are you… out of your mind, seriously…”

Han Seolwoo breathed out in embarrassment, covering his lips with the back of his arm. His face was as red as a carrot.

Won Wooje, who had fallen on his backside on the floor, looked up at him and pulled up the corners of his mouth into a smile.

“…Did you just realize?”

He’s laughing. He was laughing in this situation. Han Seolwoo, who had been looking down at him with a bewildered face, stiffened his expression. Seeing him snickering when he himself was worried to death, it was clear he was playing a prank again. Anger flared up instantly.

“Don’t joke around.”

Han Seolwoo, his jaw tightly set, turned around just like that and shoved his feet into his sneakers. He turned the doorknob and slammed it shut as he left. It was a movement so fast, rattle-clatter, that there was no time to catch him.

Won Wooje, sitting slumped on the floor, let out a hollow breath while staring at the closed front door. Then, he slowly lowered his gaze and clutched at his chest.

Lost in thought for a moment, he cocked one eyebrow. Only then, with the tension released, did he let out a long breath and lean his upper body toward the floor.

“…Crazy.”

Won Wooje swept his palm down his dry face. His troubled complexion was deeply tinged with anxiety.

୨ৎ

Won Wooje couldn’t get his head straight at all. He hadn’t been this confused even when he got a 10 on a test he’d filled out randomly, or when he broke an opponent’s nose in a fight that started out of nowhere, or when he stopped by the police station for a moment after getting caught up in a pointless scuffle, or even when his parents got divorced.

‘…Because I’m so worried and you’re on my mind, I feel like I’m going crazy.’

The image of Han Seolwoo dropping his head came to mind.

‘What am I supposed to do when I can’t think of anything but you all day long…’

Even his trembling eyelids and the white upper teeth biting his red lips.

He had barely escaped the situation with his habitual slyness, but it wasn’t as if Won Wooje hadn’t been flustered. He didn’t know what kind of mind he’d used to respond to Han Seolwoo. After hearing the words “Because I like you,” his mind went blank and he just blathered whatever.

Won Wooje knew Han Seolwoo better than anyone. He could figure out everything about him just by the furrow of his brow, the tip of his nose, the shape of his lips, and his gaze. Right down to minor changes like whether he was angry, depressed, flustered, happy, joyful, or despondent.

That reaction from Han Seolwoo had been so transparent. It was so obvious that the more he thought about it, the more flustered he became. Because his sudden outburst of anger, his jealousy toward the woman, and the way he glared at him with resentful eyes had all been sincere.

He is serious. Not some stubbornness he’s throwing while clumsily lunging to make up, but real, one-hundred-percent purity of sincerity.

He was stunned. He couldn’t believe it. He had received countless confessions, but no matter who the person was, he had never been as shaken as he was this time. The unrefined confession of love he received while standing in front of the entrance of a cramped studio apartment moved his heart more than anything else he had ever experienced.

Even though a considerable amount of time had passed since Han Seolwoo left, Won Wooje sat there for a long time in the same posture, having fallen on his butt on the floor.

…Does this even make sense?

The moment he realized it once again, Won Wooje’s ears turned bright red.

Han Seolwoo… likes me?

“Ah… fuck, fuck!”

He lowered his head and swept his hair up as if tearing at it. What do I do? What do I do now? I’m asking what to do? What do you mean what do I do. Fuck, I’ve already gone and done it all.

‘So, let’s just lay it all out and talk about a solution. I’m asking what you’re going to do about this situation. What is it I’m supposed to do for you? What do you want from me?’

He had spit out the words boldly, but he wasn’t in a state where things were settled either. It was a sense of composure and bravado that popped out as a defense mechanism because he was completely flustered.

Won Wooje was in shock. That’s because the person in question was none other than Han Seolwoo. That straight-laced, scholar-like Han Seolwoo whom he had raised with such care.

How could it be possible that the guy he’d played with since they were babbling together at birth suddenly says he likes him? The news that the guy was gay and liked men was a bolt from the blue, but a crazy awkwardness washed over him at the fact that the target was himself.

Does his mom know this? She probably doesn’t, right? Fuck, shouldn’t I send this bastard to a hospital or something? No, if rumors get out, he’ll be hurt so much.

No, maybe it’s just a misunderstanding. Because he’s never met a woman, because he’s never had a normal relationship like everyone else, he might be mistaking their deep friendship for another emotion. Otherwise, it didn’t make sense that Han Seolwoo liked him.

But if it’s true? Then what are you going to do.

He was the one who had kept him from meeting women all this time. He couldn’t exactly hook him up with a woman now. He couldn’t let him meet some unverified girls from somewhere.

After raising him well like a flower in a greenhouse and sending him to Hankuk University, let’s have him dream of a beautiful future with a pretty and capable woman who matches his level. That had been his own life plan.

But suddenly, he likes men?

Granting a hundred concessions, he could understand him liking him. Because it was natural for Han Seolwoo to like him. Though he never imagined he would like him as the opposite sex—no, sexually. But liking men was a different problem.

Fuck, he’s going to meet those dark, filthy bastards blinded by lust?

Won Wooje, thinking of one or two male bastards he knew, spat out a curse out loud. He shuddered with rage at the thought of some masked man clinging to Han Seolwoo while panting.

Won Wooje sprawled out backward. Completely forgetting the hurt he’d received from Han Seolwoo a few days ago, he was engulfed in burning contemplation.

If that’s the case, a woman would be better. Meeting a man was even more unacceptable than a woman. Rather than bastards who knows where they’ve been rolling around…

I am better.

At the sudden thought, he jumped up from his spot.

What? Am I crazy? Won Wooje tore at his hair at the ridiculous thought that flashed through his mind. No, it’s true that he’s better than filthy male bastards, but dating Han Seolwoo because of that is…

“…”

…Is it something that can’t be done?

A new thought pushed its way into his confused mind.

Because what he told Han Seolwoo was the correct answer. More than anything, he didn’t want to become distant from Han Seolwoo. Then, isn’t it better to accept him rather than watching the guy go off to some weird place and act foolishly?

Won Wooje thought of him with the feeling of a father thinking of a son who had strayed due to a lack of sex education.

Maybe it was a good thing. Whether it’s a misunderstanding or not, if he thinks he likes me, it felt like I could control him with my own hands for the time being.

At any rate, there is definitely blame on his part for this problem, so he also had a responsibility to set his straying right. His mind might change as they spend time together. If I keep him in my hand and coax him well, he might come to his senses again.

After reaching such a conclusion, he felt better for some reason. When Han Seolwoo was set up with a woman and lied, he felt like he wanted to break everything, but if it was something like this, it seemed okay.

Having finished his judgment, he picked up his phone. There were messages and calls from the hyungs and unnie he had been hanging out with just a moment ago, but that kind of thing wasn’t important right now.

‘Princess Baek Seolwoo’

Ring, ring. Ring, ring. The connection tone continued. He wondered, just in case, but he really didn’t pick up the phone.

Won Wooje’s brow narrowed. The image of Han Seolwoo agonizing in front of the ringing phone was clear as day. It felt as if the very thing he had been concerned about was approaching.

Won Wooje called again. He still didn’t pick up.

Fuck.

Frowning, he typed a phone message.

• Princess
• Pick up the phone while I’m asking nicely
• If you don’t want to die