OAS 19

Even the softest person has a temper.

The night before, once He Ziwei had finally calmed down, his eyes still puffy from crying, he insisted on going back to the dorm alone. Tang Zhou knew he had gone too far, so he headed out to a pharmacy to buy some medicine. By the time he came back, twenty minutes had passed.

He Ziwei had changed into a fresh T-shirt and shorts and had just stepped out of the bathroom. He was still toweling off his hair lazily, but the second he saw Tang Zhou walk in, he threw the towel down and climbed into bed, turning his face toward the wall.

Yep. Fucked him too hard. Now he was really pissed.

The cold war, entirely one-sided, dragged into the next day.

And by one-sided, it meant He Ziwei ignored the freshly filled hot water bottle, pretended not to see the breakfast that had mysteriously appeared on his desk, and acted like the unopened tube of ointment by his pillow didn’t exist… though he did sneak it away.

He spent the entire day holed up in a study room, soaking in the rare atmosphere of actual productivity. The academic building locked up at ten. Not wanting to face Tang Zhou, he wandered aimlessly around the old track field until curfew before finally heading back.

To be honest, most of his anger had already burned out. But the way he had lost control last night left him humiliated. There was no way he could just waltz up to Tang Zhou and say, “It’s fine, honestly I kind of enjoyed it too.” Just thinking about that made his skin crawl. Better to keep his distance and save face. Plus, Tang Zhou had clearly been feeling guilty. He Ziwei’s little grudge act was going smoother than ever.

By the time he got back to the dorm, it was already past eleven. Li Shiye had just finished showering and was out on the balcony washing his underwear. Sun Shichao had gotten pulled into a round of Three Kingdoms Kill in the room next door. Tang Zhou was sprawled on his bed lazily scrolling through his phone.

He Ziwei ignored the stare glued to his back the moment he stepped through the door. He grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the bathroom.

Right then, Li Shiye came in from the balcony and called out, “Hey, don’t bother. The hot water’s gone. I had to finish with cold water.”

Lately the dorm’s hot water supply had been all over the place. It was supposed to cut off at 11:30, but it had already gone out early several times this week. For most guys, a cold shower wasn’t a big deal, but everyone in the dorm knew about He Ziwei’s precious little quirk. He hated the cold. He never showered with cold water. Even in the summer, when everyone else was rinsing off under a faucet just to cool down, He Ziwei would still boil a kettle just to wash his hair.

Now he was stuck.

Thanks to Tang Zhou’s handiwork that morning and especially the night before, his whole body was covered in marks, red and purple, blotchy and bruised. No way he could change out in the open. But if he took his clothes to the bathroom, it’d be too obvious. Even girls didn’t do that unless they had something to hide. He froze, caught off guard by the friendly warning.

“Why the fuck are you still chatting? It’s late. You sleeping or not?” Tang Zhou’s voice came cold from behind.

He Ziwei turned and caught his eye for a split second before Tang Zhou looked away and glanced toward Li Shiye. He put his phone down and rolled over on the bed, sounding irritated. “Lights off. Now.”

Li Shiye had no idea what kind of mood this guy was in tonight. After an awkward pause, he mumbled a laugh and climbed into bed.

He Ziwei knew exactly what Tang Zhou was doing. He was buying him time. His face burned with heat. He switched the lights off, changed quickly in the dark, and felt his way to the balcony to wash up.

That night, he barely slept.

Every time he closed his eyes, Tang Zhou was there. One minute, he was holding him, gently rubbing his head and whispering comfort. The next, he was tying him down and fucking him like he was some mortal enemy, pounding into him like payback for a blood feud. And when He Ziwei couldn’t take it anymore, Tang Zhou would sneer right into his ear, mocking him for being such a filthy little slut.

When he woke up, there was a wet patch in his underwear. He Ziwei lay there, gasping for breath, tears still clinging to the corners of his eyes, heart pounding like a drum.

At the end of the dream, Tang Zhou had laughed softly while biting his ear. That laugh had made his chest tingle and ache. Then Tang Zhou leaned in close, voice low and warm, and said, “I like you.”

What had he answered?

In the dream, He Ziwei hadn’t said anything. But in his heart, he had answered, I do too.

He pressed a hand to his chest, feeling the fast and frantic beating inside. He figured he was probably screwed. Everything suddenly made sense. The source of all that pent-up frustration, how even when he was angry, a few careless gestures from Tang Zhou could make his heart ache. The shame he felt under him, the quiet happiness when he was treated gently, that tiny flicker of disappointment when Tang Zhou left with someone else, all those vague, chaotic feelings finally had somewhere to land.

He had fallen for Tang Zhou.

There was no clear moment it started. No proof. It had just happened, quietly. And it was nothing like how he’d liked Song Shiyue. That had been shallow, just chasing something pretty in front of him. But this one, no matter how much he told himself not to, it stuck. And the worst part was, he couldn’t do a thing about it.

He lay in bed until 6:50. Then he got up and quietly washed his soaked underwear. Just as he finished hanging it to dry, someone stepped onto the balcony.

Tang Zhou wrapped an arm around his waist and kissed him. His tongue pushed deep, sweeping around his mouth before retreating slightly. But he wasn’t done. Ignoring He Ziwei’s weak shoves, he kissed him a few more times before finally letting go.

He Ziwei’s face flushed red from shame and anger. “We haven’t even brushed our teeth. That’s fucking disgusting.”

Tang Zhou looked him over carefully, then reached up to pinch his cheek. “So you’re not mad anymore?”

He Ziwei stiffened, then turned away to wash his face.

“Not mad anymore, huh?” Tang Zhou came up behind him, grinning, biting lightly at his ear. It was almost identical to the dream.

He Ziwei felt like his heart was about to race out of his chest. He gave a vague nod and shoved him backward. “Back off. If someone sees us, they’ll think something’s going on.”

Tang Zhou glanced back toward the dorm room, where their roommates were still sound asleep. His face was totally unbothered.

“We’ve already fucked. What’s there to hide?”

Then he noticed how pale He Ziwei’s face had gone. He backed off and added, “Relax. Even if you spelled it out for those two, they’d never believe it.”

They had already fucked, and yet somehow, there was still nothing between them. At best, it was a relationship of threat and submission, creditor and debtor. Something warped. Twisted. No wonder no one else would believe it. If this were the old him, even he wouldn’t believe it.

So what if he had realized he liked Tang Zhou? It wasn’t like they could ever be together. Tang Zhou didn’t like him. And even if he did, his future had been set in stone long ago. His family had already lined up a job for him in a state-owned company. As for He Ziwei, he was going back south after graduation.

Once they left school, they’d probably never see each other again.

“Should I get you steamed dumplings and a grain pancake for breakfast?” Tang Zhou asked as he turned and headed into the bathroom.

He Ziwei looked up at the mirror and saw Tang Zhou’s back reflected in it.

And for some reason, he suddenly felt like crying.