PO 11

On the days he received the injection, his condition was a wreck. There were often days when his stomach turned so badly that he couldn’t eat a single thing, and worse than that, his body felt heavy as if it were submerged under water, so his mood was foul. Even while he sat still, a dizziness that felt like seasickness came on as a bonus.

Even in that state, Han Jaegang didn’t take a single day off from the company. No matter how much he tried to hide it, rumors about his health spread quickly as if they had legs.

So Han Jaegang chose to visit the pheromone center openly in the middle of the day to receive examination and treatment, and then he went straight to the company to prove that his condition wasn’t poor.

“How are you feeling?”

“…I’m fine.”

Han Jaegang, sat on his chair, replied while his gaze was fixed beyond the glass wall. He pressed his lips tightly together to endure the nausea.

If he thought of it as the price for pressing down the pheromones that would otherwise sweep through his body like a flooded river and leave it ruined, then it was something he could bear.

“What about the strategy office meeting? Wouldn’t it be better to postpone it to tomorrow?”

“Hold the meeting as planned, and check if we can move up the time.”

“I will proceed like that. Then how should I relay it to Mr. Lee Woojeong?”

At the name that came from Joo Yeongmo’s mouth, Han Jaegang recalled Kim Junghyun’s question about how he had found Lee Woojeong.

His answer that Lee Woojeong had run right into him hadn’t been an exaggeration. One day, when Lee Woojeong suddenly appeared before him, it piqued Han Jaegang’s curiosity.

Han Jaegang grew naturally curious about what environment Lee Woojeong had grown up in, what thoughts he had, and how he lived, because he wondered what effect that completely different pheromone had on him.

That was why he accepted Lee Doyoung’s dinner invitation. Normally, Han Jaegang would have refused without hesitation, but the urge to know why he felt something from a twenty-year-old boy made him move.

The whole family tried to act like a harmonious family bound together closely, but they couldn’t hide the awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere. With only a little attention, it was easy to see that in that place, Lee Woojeong was left alone, out of place.

“…Tell him to come as usual.”

“Yes. Is there anything else you need?”

“Let’s rest for about thirty minutes.”

Once Joo Yeongmo left the office after bowing politely, Han Jaegang was alone. He stood and walked to the window, and his brow furrowed. When he felt the nausea rising, he raised a clenched fist to cover his mouth and caught his breath for a moment.

Even with the help of medicine, the symptoms in his body didn’t improve. At first, he had denied the illness, and asked why it had to be him.

After that, he had tried to find a cure, desperate to follow the will of his grandparents who said there must be a way. Only after he experienced firsthand that countless drugs and treatments were useless for him did Han Jaegang accept his illness as it was.

The warning from the doctors that his heart could stop at any moment no longer moved him. It was a disease without a sure cure anyway. He only considered it fortunate that apart from when the symptoms grew severe, he had no trouble in his daily life.

One certain treatment for pheromone blockage was said to be meeting an omega who matched. But Han Jaegang couldn’t understand what it meant to match.

The pheromones of omegas in heat were unbearably repulsive. Omegas without pheromone scent were tolerable, but they had no effect on him.

When Lee Woojeong entered his house, he had clearly been in a heat cycle. But the moment he embraced Woojeong, who held him desperately, he had no time to think of such things.

It was only the next day that Han Jaegang realized he hadn’t shown rejection response to an omega surrounded by heat pheromones. Even though he had a distinctive scent, the pheromones hadn’t felt foul, and Woojeong was the first case like that.

Han Jaegang walked to his desk, activated the speaker function on his key phone, and pressed the call.

–This is Secretary Joo.

“Besides the meeting I mentioned earlier, is there any other schedule?”

–Nothing else.

“Then postpone the meeting to tomorrow. I need to leave work.”

Han Jaegang pressed his palm against his chest and drew a deep breath.

“Ha….”

The words that he wouldn’t be preoccupied by an illness without a sure treatment might have only been bluff. Since he had tasted the unexpected comfort that came in the time with Woojeong, whenever he suddenly felt something strange in his body, the first face he thought of was his.

With such an effective treatment within reach, why would he deliberately suffer? Moreover, he could also watch him, so there was never room for boredom.

Han Jaegang tightened his tie and stood up from his seat. He intended to leave the company looking intact and summon Lee Woojeong to the Snow Reflection Residence.

•••

“Hey. Did you quit your part-time job?”

Over the phone, Seo Junho’s voice was full of concern. He had gone by the convenience store to drop something off and heard that Woojeong had quit, so he was startled, wondering if something had happened.

“I quit a while ago because of circumstances.”

–I did think it had been quiet lately. What is it? What happened? Did your family tell you to quit? What kind of trouble is it this time?

“Nothing happened…”

Woojeong tried to reassure Seo Junho, but his words trailed off. Far from nothing, his head was so tangled that it gave him a headache. Seo Junho’s breath came through the receiver, and his voice grew serious.

–No. You sound like something happened. Did you get hospitalized? Did you get beaten again?

“It’s not like that.”

–Ah, it’s frustrating. Come out for a bit. Let’s talk face to face.

“I’m out right now. I don’t think it’ll work today.”

–Are you sure you’re alright?

Seo Junho, who had seen and heard much by Woojeong’s side, didn’t easily drop his doubt even after hearing he was fine. Seo Junho was the only friend to whom Woojeong could confide anything, but this time he couldn’t tell him anything.

Not only had he signed a confidentiality agreement, but he also had no idea how he could explain what had happened. If Seo Junho asked what he was doing being summoned to the Snow Reflection Residence, Woojeong had no confidence he could answer in a way Junho would understand.

When he heard someone’s presence behind him, Woojeong turned quickly and rushed to end the call.

“I really am fine, so don’t worry. I’ll call you again.”

–Fine then. Let me see your face for a bit, call me when you have time.

Woojeong slipped the phone into his pocket, ran up the stairs, and bowed his head to Joo Yeongmo, who waited for him. Joo Yeonngmo smiled to say there was no need to feel sorry and guided him inside.

As always, Joo Yeongmo stood by the elevator in the corridor, but he didn’t press the call button right away and cleared his throat.

“Has there been any inconvenience when you visit Snow Reflection Residence?”

“No. You always give much consideration.”

His tangled head was the problem, not the visits to the Snow Reflection Residence. It couldn’t even be compared with working at the convenience store.

“I’m glad you think so. If there is anything uncomfortable, please tell me right away.”

“Yes.”

“In truth, Executive Director’s condition isn’t good today. He may be resting in the bedroom, so you don’t need to concern yourself. Your stay will be the same as before, and even if he doesn’t summon me, I’ll come fetch you at the set time.”

After conveying that brief message, Joo Yeongmo pressed the elevator button.

“Is he unwell?”

“Ah. A little.”

“Then it must be because I came when he should rest quietly. …Until when must I keep coming here? If I can’t ever find the answer, then what happens?”

“Did Executive Director say anything specific to you?”

“No. He never said that at all.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know about that either.”

At Woojeong’s words, spoken like a complaint, Joo Yeongmo showed an awkward look. Woojeong eventually smiled faintly to say he was fine and stepped into the elevator. The only one who could decide how far and in what way this matter would go was Han Jaegang.

Today the interior was unusually dark. The only light brightening the wide space was a tall stand lamp set beside the living room sofa. Woojeong waited a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, then quietly entered.

“……”

As usual, Woojeong walked toward the sofa, then stopped. Contrary to what Joo Yeongmo had said, Han Jaegang lay on the sofa. His eyes were closed, and he showed no reaction, as if he hadn’t sensed anyone’s presence.

Woojeong waited until the man might open his eyes, but when he didn’t, Woojeong quietly sat on the armchair at his feet. He found himself holding his breathing at the unguarded sight of the man he had never seen before.

In any case, once the set time passed, Woojeong could return home. So if he had to be in the same space as Han Jaegang, it was much easier for him when the man was asleep like this.

Time passed quietly. As he felt a little more comfortable, Woojeong leaned back against the sofa.

“……”

The sofa had seemed quite large, but with the broad-shouldered Han Jaegang stretched across it, it looked small. Since his condition was poor, perhaps he hadn’t even managed to make it to the bedroom, because he lay still wearing his vest and tie.

Woojeong looked quietly at the sleeping man’s face. Under the dim light from the stand lamp, his face looked harsher than usual. He looked uncomfortable with his brows slightly furrowed even in sleep.

After hesitating for some time, Woojeong carefully stood up. He stopped for a moment before the bedroom door, then opened it and stepped inside. Stepping into the private space made him uneasy, so he quickly took only a blanket from the bed and returned to the sofa.

Woojeong draped the blanket over Han Jaegang. It wouldn’t be as comfortable as the bed, but at least he wouldn’t feel cold.

Back in his seat, Woojeong pulled a soft cushion into his arms. His gaze went naturally to Han Jaegang. He stared at the man’s closed eyes for a while, then he dropped his head against the chair back.

Meeting Han Jaegang’s eyes directly was never easy. So whenever he spoke with him, Woojeong usually fixed his gaze on his chin or his throat instead. That was why being able to look at him like this, without interruption, felt almost like the first time.

Every time he faced him, his heart grew tangled. Though his presence at Snow Reflection Residence had been the result of his own mistake, sometimes he felt resentful. He hadn’t done it with ill intention, but he had no way to prove that.

At the same time, he felt grateful. Even if Han Jaegang had pressured him more harshly and coldly, Woojeong would have had no excuse.

“…I’ve felt so stifled all this time.”

No matter how much he tried, nothing surfaced. He didn’t know how long he had to keep on like this, and the thought left him at a loss. Woojeong impulsively began to let out what was inside him. Since the sleeping man wouldn’t hear anyway, he just wanted to speak something, anything.

“I want to recall that day the way Executive Director wishes and tell you everything, but in truth, no matter how hard I try, I can’t remember. My head… it really must have gone wrong.”

Woojeong stroked the cushion in his arms as he continued.

“But that day, I really didn’t come in here with bad intentions. I know I shouldn’t have just walked in because the door was open… but I was out of my mind then.”

Woojeong, who shrank with dejection, lowered his head and bit his lip. The rough skin stung faintly.

“Falling asleep in the bathroom and then waking up on the sofa, maybe it was just because I was half-asleep. Even if I saw Executive Director’s documents, I wouldn’t even know what they were about…”

Whenever he faced the man, his force overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t speak properly. All he could do was answer his questions clumsily. Only now, after the man slept, could Woojeong bring out the words he had not said.

“I’m sorry for thinking only of myself. But… Executive Director already knew I was my brother’s sibling, right?”

When he recalled the days Han Jaegang had visited his house, his insides still turned cold. That was the day he realized for certain that no one could know what might happen in the world.

“Because you knew, you didn’t look surprised when you saw me. You don’t know how shocked I was. I never dreamed the person my brother always talked about would be you.”

Woojeong let out a long sigh. Words that had begun like grumbling to himself gradually turned into complaints.

“I can’t sleep at night because I’m afraid my brother will find out. Even if I told the truth, he wouldn’t believe me. And if he found out I’ve been coming and going from the Snow Reflection Residence….”

Just being caught up in this was enough to keep him awake at night, but now another heavier worry weighed on him. No matter how upright Woojeong might be, to others this situation was hard to understand.

Without realizing it, Woojeong had become a shameless man sneaking around to meet his brother’s partner.

The younger brother slipping secretly into the house of the man his brother was seeing… he felt like he was floundering alone while things twisted endlessly in strange directions.

“If you would just overlook it once… you won’t, will you?”

He barely managed to say it out loud, but naturally there was no reply. The living room was only quiet, filled with Han Jaegang’s breathing.

Woojeong exhaled a long breath. It was just past midnight now, so he still had to wait long before Joo Yeongmo came to fetch him.

Woojeong, who was sitting blankly, lifted his arm to smell it. Then he pressed his nose to the hem of his clothes. A pleasant scent suddenly came from somewhere.

Woojeong’s gaze turned to Han Jaegang. In a space where only the two of them stayed, he was the only one who could give off such a scent. When Woojeong had first entered the house, the scent had felt heavy, but now it felt msofter.

Whether because of that scent, or because the man was asleep, Woojeong felt himself relax. He leaned back into the armchair and sat comfortably.

While he quietly watched Han Jaegang’s face, Woojeong rubbed the corner of his eye. As if sleep had passed from him, his eyelids grew heavier.