PO 53

At dawn, when he heard someone near the door, Woojeong quickly lay down on the bed. He pulled the blanket over himself and pretended to be asleep, and then someone opened the bedroom door and came inside.

The person went straight into the dressing room and was searching for something, then left the room again. Even after he heard the careful sound of the door closing, Woojeong held his breath and didn’t move.

While he lay quietly facing the wall, the voices and footsteps outside gradually faded. Then, at some point, there was no sound at all.

Woojeong waited a little longer, then he went to the door. He opened it without a sound and looked into the living room, and as expected, it was empty.

After confirming that nobody was there, Woojeong stepped into the living room without making a sound. The table and sofa where the three people had gathered were clean and left with no trace.

Where did they go this morning? While he stood blankly and looked around the empty living room, Woojeong’s eyes stopped on Han Jaegang’s study. The door, which had always been shut, was wide open.

After he once made the mistake of carelessly going into Han Jaegang’s room in the Snow Reflection Residence, Woojeong never went near any space without permission. Han Jaegang’s study was one of those places. Woojeong walked into the study with a blank face.

The study without its owner was in disorder. Papers were scattered on the desk, and the chair had been pushed back. Even the scent of Han Jaegang’s pheromones left in the study felt unstable.

On the messy desk, the laptop screen that was always kept closed was still on. It was something he would never normally see. He guessed that Ju Yeongmo or Kim Junghyun must have helped move him from where he had been lying here to the living room.

Woojeong pulled the chair closer and sat at the desk, then he opened the drawers one by one. As suited Han Jaegang’s nature, the inside of the drawers was organized. As Woojeong carefully examined the things inside, he picked up one file from the middle drawer.

A small label reading “Materials regarding Lee Woojeong” was attached to the bottom of the file cover, so he couldn’t help but open it. When he turned the cover, documents he already knew came into view. They were the statement of facts, the agreement, and the pledge he had written when he first began coming to the Snow Reflection Residence.

As he flipped through the documents he had read countless times, Woojeong found a sheet with Lee Iljun’s photo. Behind the papers that detailed his father’s birth and recent history, there were materials about Kang Eonju, Lee Doyoung, and even his maternal grandfather, all lined up in order.

After that, there was an envelope. When he turned the envelope upside down over his palm, several developed photos spilled out. They were all pictures of Woojeong’s house and the surroundings. Among them, there was even one of Woojeong standing in front of the window.

On the sticky notes attached to the photos, the dates, times, and special notes were written as if it was an observation log. On the photo of Woojeong, there was a note that said, “Confirmed to be inside the room. There was no going out.”

Woojeong realized that the date of the photo was from the time he had been caught after quitting the convenience store and was confined at home.

•••

Woojeong checked the rest of the documents with a pale face. There were his school records, daily photos, hospital records, and even things he wanted to hide, with pictures and documents from times he himself couldn’t remember all packed in.

On top of that, when he confirmed that even the recent examination records from the Pheromone Center were included, Woojeong exhaled a trembling breath.

It was as if the documents summarized his entire life. He couldn’t understand why such things were in Han Jaegang’s hands.

Woojeong closed the file cover, then after staring at the laptop screen for a moment, he slowly reached out and grabbed the mouse. True to Han Jaegang’s thorough nature, the computer files were organized.

There were only six icons on the desktop, and among them, one folder caught Woojeong’s eyes.

“[CCTV_Lee Woojeong]”

Woojeong suppressed his fear and clicked the folder icon. Inside the folder, the files were arranged by date. Woojeong clicked the first file and stared at the screen.

Soon, a familiar place appeared. It was Han Jaegang’s area on the third floor of the Snow Reflection Residence. Into the empty space, someone staggered in. That person was none other than Woojeong himself.

Woojeong saw himself running straight into the bathroom, and with a trembling hand, he moved the mouse and sped up the playback.

After a while, Han Jaegang came out holding Woojeong in his arms and laid him down on the sofa. On the screen, Han Jaegang stood next to the sofa and watched Woojeong sleeping, and it was recorded exactly as it was.

As Woojeong watched Han Jaegang quietly turn and leave, he recalled one by one the words he had said on the day he first brought him into Snow Reflection Residence.

<You must have had some circumstances too. Tell me what you did when you came into a house without its owner.>

<Do you really not remember what happened before you woke up on the sofa?>

<……So remember it properly and explain it to me. If I call you, then you will come here. Woojeong-ssi, you have that responsibility and duty.>

Woojeong bit down on his lip and played the other files one by one. Recorded in them was himself at the time he had first begun coming to the Snow Reflection Residence, struggling desperately to recall his memories. The difficult and painful state of mind from then came back again.

“I was being watched the whole time.”

Woojeong muttered softly as he stared at the screen. Han Jaegang had known everything about what had happened that day. On top of that, he had been observing what Woojeong was doing at the Snow Reflection Residence for a while.

“You knew everything…….”

Han Jaegang had seen through all of Woojeong’s circumstances. Even so, he pretended to know nothing, pressed him, and sometimes approached him with kindness to shake him at will.

Woojeong let go of the mouse and rubbed his cheek with his palm. Damp moisture smeared on his skin. Woojeong sat blankly and wiped away the tears that dripped down, then he stood up.

He left the traces of searching through the desk as they were, and when he was about to walk out to the living room, Woojeong stopped short at the door.

The Snow Reflection Residence, which until just a moment ago he had thought of as the most comfortable and familiar place, suddenly felt strange.

Woojeong walked out of the house without any plan. The sunlight made his vision spin for a moment. Woojeong closed his eyes for a short moment and calmly his breath, and then he staggered ahead.

Next to the living room window, there was a space like a porch where one could sit and rest. It had usually been a place where he looked at the garden and felt the breeze, but right now nothing came into his sight.

Woojeong leaned his head against the wall as he sat blankly. Sunlight shone down clearly on the spot, but as if his senses had gone dull, he didn’t even feel that it was hot.

While he quietly blinked, the wind blew, and the sound of rustling leaves reached his ears. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed.

“Are you really not going to eat?”

While Woojeong sat like that, Madam Kwak, who had come and gone several times, came out again and asked. She looked at Woojeong with pity as he sat there motionless for more than half a day.

“The weather is hot, so why are you just sitting here without eating?”

“I will eat later.”

“I said you looked pretty because you were eating well for a while, but lately you are not eating properly again, so what should I do?”

Madam Kwak sat beside him and took his hand as she spoke. Woojeong gave a smile with his eyes lowered to his feet.

“After you came here, I thought you were doing well, but why are you so listless? Do you have something to worry about? Did you perhaps get contacted by your family?”

“No. I just have some things to think about……”

Since she had watched him for a long time, Madam Kwak seemed to notice that he had worries, and she patted his back.

“You should not worry about everything alone. Something that looks like a big deal right now, when you look back, how often is it nothing much.”

“……”

“If you have worries, you can tell me sometimes. After all, I have lived a little longer, so I should have something that can help you at least a bit. Isn’t that so?”

Woojeong felt choked with emotion at Madam Kwak’s kind words, and he only nodded silently. She soothed him and handed him the glass she had brought.

“Don’t stay on an empty stomach, drink at least this. I blended it with honey so you can drink it. If you get hungry, come in quickly, alright?”

“I will.”

When his eyes met Madam Kwak’s worried ones, it felt like he would cry. Woojeong lowered his head and answered in a husky voice. Madam Kwak stepped away to give him time alone.

Woojeong held the glass in his hand for a long time. It was tomato juice he usually liked, but right now he felt like he couldn’t swallow even one sip. The moment he set the cup down in the empty spot, the phone that was lying next to him started to vibrate.

He only stared at the phone screen, and the vibration stopped a moment later. As the missed call notification appeared on the screen, a tear dropped from Woojeong’s eyes.

“What were you trying to say……”

When the phone rang again with Han Jaegang’s name, Woojeong turned his head away and ignored it.

Nothing had changed from yesterday. He sat in the same place, in the same posture, but suddenly it felt like he had been left alone in the world, and his vision blurred. It felt like drifting all alone on a sea where nothing could be seen.

<I will tell you something. Don’t go and get happy just because someone shows interest in you and treats you kindly. That is not because they like you.>

When was it? The words Lee Doyoung had once said suddenly came to mind. Back then it had sounded like he was spitting curses, but his words were not wrong.

He had been someone who was not loved even by his family from the beginning. So when someone appeared who treated him well without reason and willingly gave him a place at their side, he should have been cautious of course.

But at that time… the embrace that had been given to him had been too warm and comfortable, so he had not even been able to suspect that another intention might be hidden in it.

“Haa……”

Woojeong furrowed his brows, and he wrapped his hands around his lower stomach and bent his back. The dull and uncomfortable feeling that had been there from earlier now changed into pain.

Every time he blinked, tears dripped down and left black stains on the white floor.

They had said the baby could be in danger and he had to be careful. The plan to tell Han Jaegang everything today was all ruined.

“It’s okay, it’s okay……”

Woojeong hugged his stomach and endlessly repeated words he didn’t know who they were for.

He could not tell how much time had passed after that. Woojeong suddenly turned his head toward where he felt a presence. Footsteps came along the path from the parking lot to the building, and soon Han Jaegang appeared.

He was holding his phone and walking to the front door, but when he saw Woojeong sitting by the window, he immediately changed direction and came toward him.

“What are you doing here? You didn’t even answer the call.”

Woojeong naturally lifted his eyes to the man who stopped in front of him.

White knitwear and gray pants. The same outfit from last night. He had worn clothes for comfort at home and gone out from the morning, but he looked exhausted like someone who had not slept all night. Woojeong felt his pheromones waver unstably and opened his mouth.

“I just felt stifled.”

“The sun is quite strong, aren’t you hot?”

Han Jaegang raised his hand into the air and blocked the sunlight that shone on Woojeong’s face. If it had been like usual, he would have only felt grateful for his kind gesture, but now his thoughts became tangled.

Was it because he cared for him, or was it a calculated act because he wanted him to stay quietly in the Snow Reflection Residence?

“Where did you go? You weren’t here this morning either.”

“I had some matters to deal with.”

As expected, Han Jaegang did not answer honestly. It was probably the hospital. Kim Junghyun had said in the morning to get checked right away, and there was no way he had gone to the company on a weekend morning in that state.

As that thought crossed his mind, the emotions that had been storming calmed down. Woojeong asked him in a calm voice as usual.

“Was it urgent? I saw you went out wearing the clothes you had been wearing at home.”

“It was not a place where I needed to be formal.”

That was true. He had no reason to tell him everything honestly. Even when he let him into the Snow Reflection Residence, he had not explained the reason. After all, since Woojeong was cut off from his family, the only person he could rely on was Han Jaegang.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Woojeong thought he now understood why when he confessed that he liked him, the man had not answered. If someone he had taken in because of circumstances said they liked him, it would have been convenient. He would not need to struggle to keep him tied to the Snow Reflection Residence, since Woojeong would stay at his side on his own.

“They said you didn’t eat all day. Do you feel unwell anywhere?”

Han Jaegang bent down and sat, and he placed his hand on Woojeong’s leg. Woojeong’s body froze at the touch that would have been nothing to him in the past.

Woojeong swallowed his breath, and he released his pheromones in full, which he had learned to control somewhat while living with him. He felt Han Jaegang react sensitively to the pheromones and inhale deeply.

Woojeong pushed away his arm and rose from his seat. Since there was a shallow step on the floor, his gaze met Han Jaegang’s at a similar height when he stood up too.

“No, I don’t. Isn’t it you, Executive Director, who is unwell?”

“It is only because I am a little tired.”

Woojeong felt something hot keep surging inside at the thought that someone who said his heart was in pain spoke as if it was nothing. Woojeong swallowed dryly and went closer to Han Jaegang. When he placed his hand on his shoulder, Han Jaegang naturally wrapped his arm around his waist.

“……Then, shall we go inside and have sex?”

Woojeong felt him falter at his words.

“……”

He had wanted to speak calmly, but there was no way to stop the tears. Han Jaegang’s gaze turned grave as he looked quietly at Woojeong, asking why he suddenly said such a thing.

“That way, you can take in my pheromones properly. Does this much make you feel better? Or do you need more?”

“……What?”

“You said your heart hurts. To get better, you need Omega pheromones, don’t you? If you have sex with me, will it really not hurt?”

Han Jaegang’s face showed confusion. It was a look Woojeong had never seen before.

“So it really is true……”

That expression seemed like an answer, and he laughed. Every time Woojeong laughed, the tears that had gathered at the corners of his eyes dropped down. As he wiped his tears with his palm, Woojeong staggered for a moment, but he shook off Han Jaegang’s hand when he tried to support him.

“You investigated everything about what kind of person I am and how I lived, didn’t you? You knew from the beginning that I lived being abused at home, didn’t you? So why did you pretend not to know? Why did you ask me why I was hurt? Was it because you pitied me? Or was it because you found it amusing?”

“……Lee Woojeong.”

“How did you know my pheromones are good for your illness? Does testing reveal that? But isn’t it true that a doctor must not tell a patient’s personal information to another person? Executive Director, can you do even that as you please?”

“Calm down, and let’s go inside the house first.”

Woojeong shook off the hand that tried to grab his arm. His lips trembled as he stepped back hesitantly.

“Where is my house? Is this my house……? I thought you were different. I thought I finally had someone special in my life……”

“Lee Woojeong.”

“You are the same as the family that tormented me all my life. You made me believe, and you made me rely on you…… and later, when my pheromones are no longer useful, you planned to throw me away, didn’t you?”

“That is not it.”

It hurt far worse than when his family abused him or abandoned him.

He had never expected that Han Jaegang would feel the same way as him, but he had believed that at least he treated him sincerely.

That was why he had felt grateful that such an undeserved bond came to him, and he had been able to accept the sudden arrival of a baby too……

“I told you I liked you……”

Han Jaegang, who tried to come closer again, stopped in his tracks. He only stared at Woojeong, who was on the verge of tears.

“If you needed my pheromones, you could have just taken only that. Why did you treat me well? Why did you make me rely on you? Why did you make me like you?”

At that moment, Woojeong furrowed his brows from sudden pain and bent his upper body. His stomach hurt so much that he couldn’t stay standing. When Woojeong held his stomach and collapsed down, Han Jaegang quickly came to support him.

The pain was so severe that he felt a rush of fear. Woojeong clutched Han Jaegang’s arm and waited for the pain to subside. His hands trembled violently, and his tears wouldn’t stop.

“……You should have just told me the truth. If you had, I would have done whatever you wanted, Director…… I would have thought it was lucky I had something I could give……”

Woojeong whispered those words as he lifted his head. For a moment, his eyes met Han Jaegang’s, but then he quickly looked away. He had nothing more to say.

Woojeong pushed away his hand and slowly stood up. Before he could even feel relief that the pain had lessened, he felt nausea rising. Covering his mouth, Woojeong rushed frantically into the Snow Reflection Residence.

Instead of going to the bathroom, Woojeong went straight into his room and locked the door tightly. Then he sat down against the wall beside the door while holding his stomach.

He thought the pain was because he had cried too much. He tried to suppress his sobs, but the tears wouldn’t stop at all.

A little later, a sound came from outside as the doorknob rattled. Han Jaegang turned the knob a few times, then, after confirming the door was locked, immediately began knocking.

“Lee Woojeong, open the door.”

“……”

“I will explain, so open this door. Lee Woojeong.”

“Executive Director. What is going on? Woojeong, what happened?”

“Madam, please bring me something thin like a pin so I can open the door.”

“Wait a moment.”

It was clear Han Jaegang would soon force the door open and come in. Woojeong looked anxiously around the room. But there was no place to hide and no way to escape.

Bang, bang. As the knocks pounded, Woojeong, who had covered his ears, stood up and clutched the doorknob with both hands.

“Don’t open it. If you open it as you please, then……”

His head was filled with extreme thoughts. He couldn’t bring himself to say them aloud, so only his lips trembled, and then Han Jaegang’s voice came again from outside. His tone had calmed as if he had realized exactly what Woojeong was thinking.

“……I won’t open it. I won’t, so calm down.”

“……”

“I will wait, so when you calm down, come out.”

“……”

“Lee Woojeong. Can you hear me?”

Woojeong, who stubbornly held the doorknob, stepped back. He quietly looked around the room and then went into the dark dressing room with the lights off. Woojeong hid his body in the narrow corner and covered his ears.

He didn’t want to hear anything.