PHUW 132

“It’s all my fault. I don’t have a single excuse even if I had ten mouths. I’m really sorry.”

Jeong Mok apologized again, but Haeri didn’t hear it. Who picked up a memory-less orphan, treated him well unilaterally, and then thought of throwing him away overnight? He had to clamp down on such a rotten thought at the very start so it would never form again.

“Hey, Gom-i! Bite!”

Haeri pointed at Jeong Mok and gave the command.

The black dog, who had been sitting, slid up to his feet and trotted toward Jeong Mok. Jeong Mok glanced between Haeri and the giant dog, looking genuinely flustered.

“Bite him hard!”

Getting both their attention made Gom-i happy, and he grinned, then pounced at Jeong Mok. He was sharp enough to only snap at the air instead of really attacking. Excited, he pummeled Jeong Mok’s thick pectorals with the claws that had already put holes in his firm shoulders. Jeong Mok staggered back and hit the dining table.

“Haeri-ya, call him off.”

“No. Gom-is, more.”

“Haeri-ya. Hyung was really wrong. Ouch. Gom-i’s feet are getting hurt.”

“So what if a little skin comes off.”

Ignoring the plea for help, Haeri packed up the first-aid kit and put it away.

“Picking up was your choice, but throwing away isn’t. Vice Chairman.”

He delivered the line in the most unpleasant tone he could manage, then left for his room.

He slammed the door shut on purpose. But he couldn’t contain his angers.

He almost threw his phone. But his heart, shrunken by poverty, scolded him – how dare he smash an expensive new model? – so he couldn’t. Instead, he dove onto the bed. Whether the mattress, probably far pricier than the phone, was ruined or not, he pounded it with his fists. Throwing a fit didn’t cool his anger, it only fanned it.

He jumped up and flung the door open again.

In that short time, Jeong Mok was on the living room floor, locking the giant dog’s neck in a headlock. The dog, caught, only thought it was rough play and was thrilled.

“How can you be like this? Huh?”

“Haeri-ya, I’m sorry. Please, just hear me out?”

“Forget it.”

He almost cried for no reason.

“I’m trying to do well, studying even when it doesn’t suit me. Of course I’m nothing but a parasite with no strengths other than being cute, with no memory, always injured, dragging around a bothersome dependent dog, tangled with some weird drug-addict gang, and even got kidnapped, and… huh?”

Listing things off, Haeri suddenly realized.

Why were there so many flaws? He touched his chin with thumb and forefinger and mentally did the math. No matter how he checked, the weight tilted to one side.

‘At this point, isn’t keeping me instead of throwing me out basically saintlike?’

If the situation was turned into A and B and posted on some gossip forum, and people were asked who was more at fault, one hundred percent they’d point at the freeloader. Comments would ask whether A was a pushover, or if B had some demonic charm. Or they’d say, there’s no way A would volunteer to act like such a pushover. Maybe it was a disguised exam problem. Or maybe it was a story ripped from some anime or movie. The comments would flex in every direction.

‘As the ultimate freeloader of freeloaders, what nerve did I have to yell? I should be on my knees begging not to be thrown out, and even that wouldn’t be enough.’

At that moment, Haeri realized why, with his memory gone, he had ordered that obscene adult toy set by the box. It had been a plan to nail things down as fact before Jeong Mok, who had already wavered once, could change his mind again.

No memory, but you had a plan. And stupid me went and wrecked it.

He had acted without thinking. Until now he had been good at knowing his place, good at keeping low, so why was he suddenly so full of himself? The difference had to be one thing. Starting to study. Learning too much had made him like this. When people had too much in their heads, they tended to get arrogant. In a world overflowing with punks whose grades and character went in opposite directions, it was no surprise.

‘That’s that. Now how do I fix this?’

He had to deal with the fire that had already landed on his feet, but his mind wouldn’t work.

What should he do? Prostrate himself and beg? No, that might make it worse. Pretend to be hurt? Space out and ride an ambulance once? That would definitely clear up this mess. But that would bring the big risk of tests and rehospitalization. He was sick of hospitals. And there were still social studies classes. He was racking his brain for another plan.

“Haeri-ya.”

Jeong Mok, still shirtless, came toward him. Behind him, the dog, satisfied after the rough play, lay sprawled out. In the end, Jeong Mok was stronger.

“At that time I didn’t know my own feelings well. I know this will sound like an excuse. But will you trust me just once?”

What? The other side was lowering himself first? This was a chance. He had to pull him in here. Probably even the memory-less him had judged the same, that’s why he had stocked up on adult toys. If things turned into that kind of relationship, then even if feelings changed later, he could at least use that as leverage to get something out of it.

At first Haeri’s memory had rolled back from an unintended server error, but Jeong Mok had stayed in play the whole time without such a history. Since there was some past between them, it must have gone as far as adult goods. With no proof and only a hunch, Haeri, pressed for time, threw it out.

“As an apology, give me a kiss.”

“What?”

The other man blinked in shock. Ah, did he misstep?

But once a man said something, he had to follow through somehow.

“Kiss me. Mouth to mouth if possible.”

“Haeri-ya. I really can’t keep up with the way you think.”

Jeong Mok buried his face in his palm with a weary look.

“Haven’t we kissed before?”

He lowered the hand rubbing his face a little and looked off elsewhere, mumbling an evasive reply.

“Ah… not like that.”

As expected. He had hit the mark.

“Then do it again.”

“No, there must be a reason you’re doing this out of the blue.”

For a hundred million won people would line up, the number dispenser overheating, to lick a Middle Eastern prince’s toes. You’d kiss a hundred times a handsome human lottery ticket like him. But he couldn’t reveal that inner thought.

“If you can’t, then I’ll do it. Stay still.”

He was shorter, and as for build, no comparison. Even if Haeri wasn’t particularly thin, he was a shrimp next to Jeong Mok. But he was still a man. Even with nothing but two balls to his name, he had survived this rough and brutal world, endured a best friend’s murder, amnesia, kidnapping by an organization, and held out stubbornly. A tough weed of a man didn’t retreat easily in front of his goal.

He reached out and pulled Jeong Mok’s forearm. If he resisted, Haeri planned to jump him like the black dog, but surprisingly the man came along without resistance.

As the chiseled face came close enough, Haeri shoved his mouth forward. It was a lip headbutt carried out with grim resolve. He had braced for the shock of colliding teeth. But Jeong Mok, startled, had pulled back just enough to soften the impact, and the contact turned out fairly gentle.

Smooch.

‘So it was nothing after all.’

He thought with eyes shut. Kissing a man didn’t make the world collapse. It just made his little heart rampage like crazy.

“Doing this without warning is sexual harassment.”

“Then report me.”

He kissed him again. Jeong Mok gave him a look to stop, but he ignored it.

“You’re going to pay dearly if you keep this up.”

“How dearly?”

At the insolent question, Jeong Mok tilted his head and studied Haeri anew.

“Haeri-ya, I’m a much darker man inside than I look. I have no patience. When I get excited I can’t hold back and I go all the way, so I try to live without getting excited. So help me with that.”

Jeong Mok lifted a hand and pushed Haeri’s face away. His lips were squashed under the palm, his nose poking out between the index and middle fingers.

“What if I want to see you go all the way?”

“Haeri-ya.”

His low voice was rougher than before. Was the provocation working?

Haeri puckered his lips and kissed the palm pushing his face. As the hand jerked back, he caught it with both hands, held it tight, and slid his tongue between Jeong Mok’s index and middle fingers.

“Where did you… learn this kind of thing?”

“Curious?”

“You, you don’t know how to do things like this.”

“Says who?”

Haeri himself had never done it. Perverted bastards who harassed him drunk had grabbed his hand and sucked it this way. Back then he had felt so disgusted he had punched them in the face right away. Who would have thought he would be the one doing such a thing now.

He licked from the root to the tip of the index finger, then took the middle finger into his mouth from the top and sucked it.

“Ha… Haeri-ya. If you stop now, nothing will happen. So let go.”

“Mm-mm.”

He refused through his nose instead of words. Just then the thick, long middle finger twitched inside his mouth. At the same time Jeong Mok’s eyes changed. Shame and confusion vanished, replaced by something cruel, like bloodlust. Haeri’s gut churned in the exact opposite way from before.

What glory did he hope to gain, lighting a fire on a sleeping beast’s whiskers? Were you insane, Ahn Haeri, do you want to die? If you don’t fix this rash, reckless temper of yours, you won’t live out your life!

Haeri tried to pull his face back, but Jeong Mok’s thumb and ring finger clamped down on both his cheeks.

“You’re going to regret this.”

I already regret it. I just can’t say it because your fingers are in my mouth.

The man suddenly leaned in. An arm wrapped tight around Haeri’s waist, his heels lifted, and as the middle finger pulled out, something wet and smooth pushed in.

It was the start of a suffocating kiss.