PHUW 133

It was the first time he had ever kissed like this. He felt like his soul was flying out. In fact, he was actually losing a bit of it since he couldn’t breathe. But instead of pushing the other man away, Haeri wrapped his arms around Jeong Mok’s shoulders. He felt the man’s two arms supporting his lower back. He raised his heels higher, and Jeong Mok lifted him lightly as if he were a teddy bear.

Thud.

Without realizing it, he was already on the bed. While Jeong Mok went to lock the door, Haeri rubbed his hand across his lips damp from the kiss. His lips were hot, his tongue ached faintly. He thought his mouth, along with his soul, and even his brain had been sucked out.

‘Is kissing supposed to be like this, or is hyung just on some superhuman level?’

This was why inexperience was no good. Not knowing anything left the lead to the other person. But could he really take the lead against Jeong Mok? That was another problem. Against a clear alpha male you could recognize even at a glance, it was better for both body and mind to just yield yourself.

The other man had no intention of yielding the lead anyway.

The urgency in the kiss just now was gone. Jeong Mok was unnervingly calm. The closer he came, the stronger his scent grew. Maybe because he had taken his shirt off, it was even thicker now.

At some point Jeong Mok propped himself on hands and knees above Haeri. Facing him from that angle and position was a little scary.

Correction. It was terrifying.

“Um…”

He had been about to say sorry, he couldn’t do this. But Jeong Mok gripped his cheeks again. His mouth jutted up like a duck’s beak.

“No backing out now.”

Lowering his head, Jeong Mok whispered quietly into his ear. Then a hot tongue traced along his ear shell. Hard teeth nipped at his earlobe, and hot breath moved down along his neck. Another hand touched his waist and lifted the hem of his loose T-shirt.

The large, lean hand stroked around his hip bone and moved upward along his side, neither too fast nor too slow. It felt strange. His toes spread wide, then curled again. When he slackened his jaw his mouth opened, and two long, straight fingers slipped in deep enough to press his tongue.

He was distracted by the fingers pressing down his tongue.

“Hhhn.”

A light shiver ran through his body. It was because Jeong Mok’s thumb had pressed and kneaded his nipple.

Some white U.S. army grandpa he never even met had left his mother with exotic looks. His mother, who ran away when he was a kid, had mixed that grandpa’s genes with a good-looking delinquent and passed them down to him. The recycled genes had faded, but showed in odd ways. Curly hair, and light pigmentation.

Most people thought his hair was dyed and permed. When he said it was natural, they accused him of lying. But when they saw his torso, even those who insisted a hundred percent it was a lie wavered for a moment. Because of his pale pink nipples. There was a strange prejudice that unless you were white, a man’s nipples couldn’t be that pale.

But those damned nipples were a major complex for Haeri. At every drinking table with new faces, the topic of his natural hair color came up, and inevitably his nipple color got mentioned too.

If the people were normal, he could just laugh it off and say it was because he was a quarter white. But if some perverted gay bastard had designs on him, they insisted on seeing for themselves, crossing the line. Sometimes they pretended not to care, then struck when he was unguarded, yanking his shirt up. On those days a fist always flew.

He hated anyone seeing them so much he refused to use communal showers even though he was a man. In winter when the hot water didn’t work and he was freezing to death, he’d go to Sangjin’s place and get cursed for running up the water bill, or just go without washing for days. He never looked at gyms or saunas.

That was how sensitive an issue his nipples were. Sensitive emotionally, so they became sensitive physically too. And now another man was touching them. Between index and middle fingers, pressing lightly then rubbing, it made him squeeze his eyes shut. He hadn’t known he could feel this much, since no one had ever touched them.

The hand rolling his nipple slid along his ribs to the side. Then his thumb kneaded the nipple again.

“Hhn.”

Haeri bit down on the fingers probing his mouth. It wasn’t meant as provocation. Just unconscious reflex. The neat edge of his fingernail scraped the soft palate.

“Our Haeri is just like a baby, you suck on everything well.”

While his tongue was being toyed with, of course he couldn’t swallow. Saliva dribbled down his chin. Tilting his head, Jeong Mok licked it up from the middle of his chin with his tongue. Slowly tracing up to his lips, he pushed his tongue straight back into Haeri’s mouth, replacing the fingers that had been there all along. Their mouths meshed.

“Mm.”

Jeong Mok’s tongue was softer, kinder than his fingers. Haeri let go of the sheet he had been clutching and put his arms around Jeong Mok’s shoulders instead.

Even while Haeri was absorbed in the kiss, Jeong Mok faithfully attacked elsewhere. He slid a hand under his back, over the dip of his spine, then without hesitation slipped inside his shorts waistband. Without effort, just with strength, he lifted one side of Haeri’s buttock and grabbed it. It hurt a little and didn’t feel especially good.

But Jeong Mok didn’t seem to mind. Maybe grabbing ass felt good for the one doing it. He hummed and moved his other hand there too. Grabbing one cheek each, his upper body nearly lost balance and he had to brace on the bed. The kiss broke then.

The look in his eyes had lost its calm. So this was what they meant by a dangerous beast.

“Lift your hips.”

He did as told. Jeong Mok yanked off his shorts and briefs in one go.

“Ha.”

He had expected it, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t surprised. Haeri instinctively clasped his hands over his crotch.

“Hyung is very interested in your cock. Covering it like that just makes you look hotter, makes me want to eat you up. So don’t cover it.”

Not sucking, but eating it? Sir, please don’t say such terrifying things in that serious tone…

Even excited, Jeong Mok kept his voice calm and gentle. But his eyes were too grim. It really felt like he would get his cock bitten off and end up a eunuch. Haeri slowly removed his hands from covering himself. His pressed-down shaft sprang up.

“Even cuter than before.”

Jeong Mok looked at him with eyes full of affection. He wished he wouldn’t look at it like some baby’s pepper. But what came out of Haeri’s mouth was a different question.

“Have you seen it before?”

“You think I only looked?”

He flicked Haeri’s lower lip lightly with his index finger and smiled leisurely. Haeri’s heart dropped. Did touching his mouth have to be that obscene? No, wait. If he touched his mouth, that meant he had sucked it… His face flushed red in shock.

If he had already sucked him off, then the only step left was one.

“Why did you do everything else but then say I should just stay cute by your side?”

“Because if you don’t want it, then we don’t have to.”

Jeong Mok reached toward the side table where the night lamp was. He usually kept nothing there. But when he opened the drawer, out came a black tube and a pile of silver foil packages. The tube looked like a hair treatment product, but Haeri knew it. It was the same lube he had once cut open with a kitchen knife.

“Why is that coming out of there?”

He asked, dumbfounded. Jeong Mok lifted one corner of his mouth.

“I thought it was your taste, so I prepared it ahead of time.”

“Why prepare it ahead… you said I just had to be cute by your side?”

“That’s me. But Haeri, you’re not satisfied with just being cute.”

He almost denied it on reflex, but shut his mouth. It was too spot on.

“You knew this would happen?”

“Yeah.”

“Was I like this even before I lost my memory?”

“Back then you were more blatant and rough. But you were still Ahn Haeri.”

Jeong Mok kissed him again like he couldn’t stand how cute he was. So, he hadn’t been just a simple human pet. If he had seduced him blatantly and roughly, that made him at least a male gold digger, at most someone in one-sided love. Which was it?

He didn’t want to be abandoned by Jeong Mok. That was the same whether he had his memories or not. But had it only been about money and a comfortable life? Or had it been because he liked someone always so kind to him? What about now?

He couldn’t say money wasn’t part of it. But was money alone enough? What if Jeong Mok were poor, and instead of a luxurious penthouse they were in a moldy semi-basement, doing this?

He stared at Jeong Mok opening the tube, twisting the cap and peeling off the foil seal, a so-ordinary act it shaved off about one percent of his charm. What if it wasn’t even a semi-basement, but the a semi-basement, and Jeong Mok were unemployed, and Haeri had to support him with part-time jobs?

…He thought it might be fine. As long as Jeong Mok stayed this kind, he could really work himself to the bone to feed him.

“I…”

“Hm?”

“I think I like it.”

Jeong Mok paused, then laughed like it was absurd.

“You like heating gel that much? Such a naughty little guy.”

“No. Not like that. I mean I like you.”

He should have understood right away. Was his dating experience really so nonexistent? Jeong Mok just stared at him with confused eyes.

“So, Vice Chairman—no, Jeong Mok-hyung? Hyung-nim? Whatever. I think I like you.”

“……”

“I like you.”

Once he said it, he felt even more certain. Even when doing obscene things that would disgust him to the point of murder if he imagined anyone else, with Jeong Mok it only felt good. Haeri liked Jeong Mok.