PHUW 16

“Huh?”

It was hard even to lift his head, so he just opened his eyes wide.

“It’s hard for you to move.”

“……”

He had snapped earlier, asking how someone could eat alone while leaving a sick patient behind. But now, how could he feel this embarrassed?

“I’ll eat it.”

“How, when you can’t even lift your arms?”

It was because he had overexerted himself earlier. His arms really had no strength left. But eating while lying face down on a pillow was both humiliating and uncomfortable. He tried to move his body somehow. Sensing this, the other person sat on the bed, carefully lifted Ahn Haeri’s upper body, and let him lean against his chest.

Wasn’t this the exact posture of a desperate boyfriend holding his terminally ill girlfriend, whispering empty promises like “Let’s go somewhere nice once you’re better”? The kind of girlfriend who wears a tacky beanie, has a deathly pale face, dark circles under her eyes, and gives a faint smile before her hand drops limply?

It was awkward, but Jeong Mok nonchalantly scooped up a spoonful of rice with soybean paste soup and brought it to his mouth. The atmosphere made it clear that refusing wasn’t an option. But should he really accept it?

“Is it hot?”

Jeong Mok misinterpreted his hesitation and touched the edge of the spoon to his lower lip. What the hell.

“It’s not that hot. You can eat it.”

He didn’t actually eat, it was just to test the temperature. But, it was surprising enough. If he didn’t eat it this time, he felt like Jeong Mok might feed him mouth-to-mouth, so he quickly accepted the spoonful.

As the moderately hot soup went down, his stomach rejoiced.

“Is it good?”

He nodded. Jeong Mok diligently fed him spoon after spoon, and Haeri, pushing aside his embarrassment, ate well and even asked for side dishes. Jeong Mok didn’t show the slightest sign of annoyance and continued to help with the meal.

After sticking a straw into a juice box and holding it to Haeri’s mouth for dessert, Jeong Mok finally ate his own meal. He also cleaned the trays, helped him take his medicine, and even assisted with the bathroom, so naturally and effortlessly, like a veteran caregiver.

“You’re really good at taking care of patients.”

“I’ve got a lot of experience.”

Jeong Mok smiled faintly and adjusted the pillow so Haeri could lie down comfortably.

“Is someone close to you sick?”

“They were.”

The word “were” implied they’d either recovered… or passed away. If it were the latter, the atmosphere would turn awkward. It was too risky to ask lightly. Fortunately, when Haeri stayed quiet, the other didn’t bring it up again either.

After eating, Haeri took a nap, then woke up and had dinner again. Even as night fell, Jeong Mok didn’t seem like he planned to leave. Instead, he asked the assigned nurse and pulled out a foldable guardian bed stored in the special ward’s closet.

For a folding bed, it was a pretty good one, just as high as the patient’s bed, and the mattress looked quite plush. Still, it was just a spare bed. How comfortable could a bed in someone else’s hospital room be, especially when he couldn’t even shower properly?

“You’re going to sleep here?”

“Yeah.”

Jeong Mok fluffed the pillow as he answered.

“Why?”

“What if you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night?”

“I can just call the nurse.”

“It’s more comfortable having a guy help, right?”

When he was first hospitalized, he couldn’t get up at all and had a catheter. The assigned nurse had helped with everything from start to finish, even wiping down his sweaty body with wet towels. It was embarrassing at first, but thinking of it as a medical procedure, he got used to it. So there was no real reason to be uncomfortable just because it was a woman.

“I’m stronger too.”

Being stronger did make it easier to rely on him physically, but emotionally it was still unsettling. And maybe Jeong Mok had said something to the staff, because from the afternoon on, the assigned nurse who usually dropped by to check in didn’t even show her nose.

Jeong Mok was so tall that even a good-quality foldable bed wasn’t the right size for him. He had to lie on his side, rest his head on a pillow, and bend his knees. It looked like an uncomfortable position, but he settled in easily, and faced Harri, of all things. Since the beds were about the same height, their eyes met.

“Sorry, but could you turn the other way?”

“Why?”

“I can’t really turn my head.”

“Why turn it?”

“Because I can see.”

“See what? Me?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Well, I do.”

“Pfft.”

He had meant to sound blunt and unfriendly, but Jeong Mok actually chuckled. Like an adult trying to suppress laughter over a child’s petty complaints, afraid they might get sulky, it was kind of insulting.

‘It might be childish, but there’s no need to laugh like it’s ridiculous.’

He felt a little twisted inside.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Sorry.”

It was an empty apology, completely devoid of sincerity. That made him even more annoyed. As he glared in displeasure, Jeong Mok, seemingly unable to stop himself, even wiped away tears of laughter.

“Am I really that funny?”

“You’re not funny.”

“Then why do you keep laughing?”

“Because you’re too cute.”

Goddamn it. Like a melted rice cake in the summer heat, Haeri regretted not trying harder to avoid eye contact. He should’ve just ignored him. Instead, he spoke up and only made things worse. As Haeri sluggishly tried to turn his head away, Jeong Mok stopped him.

“I’ll turn over.”

“…It’s fine.”

Jeong Mok sat up. Watching him pop up so easily when Haeri’s own back was shot made him almost resentfully envious.

“Are you really mad?”

“No.”

“You looked so petty and cute saying that with your face squished into the pillow, I couldn’t help it. Don’t be mad.”

Petty? Cute because I’m petty? That damned, kind hyung was seriously infuriating.

If it weren’t for the hospital bills… if it weren’t for the shelter incident… he would’ve flipped him off with both hands. In his heart, he gave the middle finger the infuriating benefactor who managed to wipe away all the gratitude with just a few words. In fact, both of Haeri’s middle fingers, hidden under the table, tensed up.

“You sulk pretty easily, huh.”

“……”

His gratitude was not only evaporating, it was veering into the negative. Couldn’t he just let Haeri be grateful in peace? Earlier, he’d called him someone abandoned by his parents; now he was calling him petty and overly sensitive. Was he doing it on purpose, knowing Haeri wouldn’t fight back?

As if to prove he wasn’t lying, Jeong Mok lay back down and turned his back. When Haeri turned his head back to its original position, his broad back came into view. It was just a normal resting position, not meant to show off, but his muscular V-shaped torso stood out. His body was thick, but his shoulders were so wide that his waist looked slim in contrast. Even in those ugly cargo pants, his legs looked endlessly long.

Life is really unfair.

With looks and a build like that, even in the same situation, he wouldn’t have been treated like trash at a homeless shelter, begging for help in tears. Honestly, before discharge, if he so much as tried to charm one of the countless doctors, patients, or caregivers passing through the hospital, there’d probably be a line of people willing to feed and house him temporarily.

He’s probably never had a hard day in his life. Rich, handsome, built like a tank. Doesn’t even need to be nice.

He didn’t even go to work, like some chaebol heir in a K-drama who never has to deal with corporate politics. And like those heirs, he wasn’t kept up at night because the spare bed was uncomfortable. As proof, the self-proclaimed guardian’s breathing was deep and steady, even though the actual patient was still awake.

It was kind of infuriating, but also comforting. At least with Jeong Mok around, there was no need to worry about money or his physical condition. He hated being treated like a helpless puppy, but it was still better than being seen as a sexual assault victim.

The psychiatric meds he’d taken after dinner started to cloud his mind. Maybe it was the effect of the medication, but his irritation faded for no reason, even though he was just lying there. Was it the comfort of this top-tier private room? Or the solid support of someone with a serious bank account?

His posture was the worst, but mentally, it was a peaceful night.

***

It was the following afternoon.

Since yesterday, he’d been getting IVs mixed with medication and diligently applying cold compresses, but the pain in his back had only gotten worse. Apparently, it had actually hurt less yesterday. It hurt so bad today it made him want to curse out loud, so they attached a separate button-controlled high-strength painkiller.

In the morning, Jeong Mok had gone home briefly to shower and change clothes, saying he’d be gone for about an hour and a half. Of course, that was exactly when he suddenly had to use the bathroom. He called the assigned nurse and managed to go, but it hurt so badly he seriously felt like crying on the spot. Apparently, that’s just how the back works.

But things were different when Jeong Mok was around. With his huge build and strength, it felt perfectly safe to entrust his body like a baby, and it was actually more comfortable. If he wanted to minimize movement, it was better to eat and use the bathroom while Jeong Mok was there.

After showering and changing clothes that morning, Jeong Mok stayed in the hospital room. He even brought a laptop and did some work. The assigned nurse only showed up when Jeong Mok stepped out. When asked why, the nurse said Jeong Mok had specifically told her to do so.

“Yes, I just received the data,” Jeong Mok said while on a work call, moving the cursor across his laptop screen. Haeri couldn’t see clearly, but the screen was filled with documents, charts, and numbers scrolling up and down.

“I’ll review it today and send it over by tomorrow morning. Understood.”

After hanging up, Jeong Mok leaned his upper body toward the coffee table. Even while sitting on the sofa, his legs were so long it was like he was crouching. Haeri, no matter how hard he tried, would never be able to sit like that. If you’re handsome, at least have short legs. If you’re rich, at least have narrow shoulders. The world was just unfair.