PHUW 33

“Is that so? Don’t people usually do this if someone’s cute?”

Even if they’re cute, there are limits when it comes to men. But this strange hyung, who didn’t seem to know those limits, made no move to release Haeri’s hand. When Haeri tried to quietly slip it free, he only tightened his grip.

Startled, Haeri hunched his shoulders and glanced around. Their table was in the corner, and the one open side was blocked by Jeong Mok’s broad back. It was a blind spot, no one would notice a man holding another man’s hand and patting it. Trying to calm his pounding heart, Haeri tugged his hand again.

Jeong Mok, still holding it firmly, placed Haeri’s hand on his thigh and tapped it lightly. Haeri’s eyes flew wide open, and so did his mouth.

“Hy-hyung-nip?”

“It’s fine. You’ll get used to it soon.”

Get used to it? Was this something to get used to? Why? He couldn’t get the words out. You said you weren’t gay. You said you weren’t gay. You said you weren’t gay! Hyung-nim! Hey, Jeong Mok!

“Do you do this with other people too?”

“What?”

“I mean, holding hands, messing with hair… Do you do that with other people?”

“No.”

Wasn’t this when you’re supposed to say yes? Even if it’s not true, the polite answer is to say yes. That’s common sense and basic social etiquette, at least in the world Haeri knew.

He didn’t have to ask why Jeong Mok only did it with him. Because he’s cute. Because he resembles his late girlfriend. Because Jeong Mok said he could be as affectionate as he wanted. But he hadn’t expected it to be like this. Haeri wanted to slap his own mouth from a few hours ago.

Sweaty from the tight grip, he used the excuse of eating cake to pull away. Ignoring the heat still burning on the back of his hand, he buried his face in the tiramisu and shoveled it in. The whole time, Jeong Mok watched him with a gentle expression.

Even after finishing the cold tiramisu and mint sparkling water, the fire in his chest didn’t settle. Watching for Jeong Mok’s reaction, Haeri quietly slid the melting ice cream bowl toward himself.

Jeong Mok looked worried but didn’t stop him like before. When Haeri stayed fine after two spoonfuls, he finally seemed relieved.

“Good?”

Haeri nodded. The taste swept away the confusion and excitement. His flushed face slowly cooled to a pale pink. He scraped the bottom of the bowl with his spoon.

How many more times would this happen? Would he get embarrassed and flustered every time?

Then why was he flustered? Shouldn’t annoyance be the normal reaction? He was still puzzling over it when Jeong Mok’s smiling eyes met his. His heart dropped again. Heart disease? Dropping like this every time was absurd.

Then he suddenly was enlightened, it was because Jeong Mok was too handsome. Too solid, too stylish, just… everything. When someone like that looked at you with honey dripping from their gaze, who wouldn’t get flustered?

It was only because this overly good-looking, capable man was scattering easy kindness and smiles. That’s why he was flustered. So it wasn’t Haeri’s fault. And even if he was, it wouldn’t be a big problem. They weren’t going to live together forever. He had the settlement money, he’d found his ID, and once he had a follow-up at the outpatient clinic and got the all-clear, they’d part ways.

He had taken the job offer as a joke. Even if it wasn’t, they hadn’t signed anything, so backing out wouldn’t be an issue.

If he was going to be flustered, so be it. What could possibly happen? Jeong Mok wasn’t gay, and he’d had a girlfriend.

He could just think of Jeong Mok as an older brother doting on a much younger sibling. He’s an orphan, or even if he hadn’t been, his memories were gone; so he couldn’t be sure whether close brothers were normally like this.

“What are you thinking about so much?”

“Oh, nothing. Just that the ice cream’s good.”

“I’ll buy you more next time. Even if you feel warm, eating too much cold stuff isn’t good.”

“I didn’t mean it like I wanted more.”

“I know.”

Another unintentional line that made his heart skip. What was he supposed to do with this man? But since he’d told him to be as affectionate as he liked, he couldn’t exactly scold him.

While Haeri enjoyed his sweet dessert and refreshing drink, Jeong Mok devoured him with his eyes. By the time Haeri was imagining himself bundled up like cotton candy and popped into that handsome mouth, they were leaving the cafe.

Back home, Haeri put away his new clothes in the built-in wardrobe and washed up. Jeong Mok washed his hair again. The first time had been awkward enough to make his knees weak, but the second time felt easier. Removing the damp gauze that had soaked up shower steam, disinfecting the wound, and applying fresh gauze was also Jeong Mok’s job.

“Thanks, as always. I’ll put the first-aid kit away.”

“Will you?”

Haeri started putting the things spread out on the floor back into the box.

“Do you know where it goes?”

“Yes.”

He’d seen it enough times to know. Jeong Mok kept anything he used often in the cupboard above the sink. When Haeri opened one side of the cupboard, there was an empty space that fit the first-aid kit perfectly. He set it there and closed the door, then met Jeong Mok’s gaze, which had been fixed on him the whole time.

“You’re smart.”

Being praised for putting the first-aid kit back in its place made him feel like a three-year-old. For a moment he wondered if he really looked that stupid, but the warmth in Jeong Mok’s gaze made him change his mind. Apparently, everything about him looked cute. And his own ears, which refused to get used to it and flushed red every time, were hopeless.

While Haeri drank a glass of cold water, Jeong Mok got up and went to his room. He came back with a thin laptop and its charging cable, handing it over.

“It’s too slow for my work, but it’s fine for web browsing.”

Haeri had been wishing for a laptop. He smiled brightly and accepted it.

“Thank you. I’ll take good care of it and give it back to you.”

“I told you I don’t use it. You don’t have to return it.”

He didn’t bother telling him not to say things like that anymore. There was no point trying to argue with this hyung. He’d just return it when the time came.

As Haeri headed excitedly toward his room, a calm, low voice followed.

“Oh, the Wi-Fi’s ‘mysongi’ and the password’s ‘I love you!’.

Ah. His excitement died down. He would bet a hundred million won that Song-i was the name of the dead girlfriend. The lightness in his steps turned heavy.

“…Yes.”

There was nothing else to say.

He lingered at the door, hand on the knob, when Jeong Mok reached out to his still-damp hair again. After an absentminded pat, he headed back to his own room.

“Rest.”

Haeri gave nodded awkwardly at Jeong Mok fainting smile, then hurried into his own room once Jeong Mok was gone.

“Whew. That was a real curveball.”

First “I love you, mysongi” and then a head pat. Anyone would think he was Song-i. Technically, he was playing the stand-in.

The affection still made his heart skip, but at the same time it weighed on him. What did it feel like to lose someone you’d loved so much? To delete every photo because they hurt to look at, but still not be able to change the Wi-Fi password? Haeri couldn’t know.

As he turned on the laptop, a thought crossed his mind. Did he have someone he loved? If not, then there was nothing to be done. But if he did…

“…They’d be worried, right?”

Maybe worried enough to lose sleep. Maybe out putting up flyers like Jeong Mok, or hanging banners like parents who’d lost a child. Maybe they’d break down crying after finding no trace of him.

Just imagining a woman, if she existed, wandering around in tears looking for her missing boyfriend made his nose sting. Entering the Wi-Fi password had nearly brought tears.

The “slow” laptop ran so smoothly it almost flew. What part of this was lacking in performance?

Maybe he’d lied about it being old. Given that in just two days Jeong Mok had handed him a hundred million won in cash, loaded him with hundreds of thousands of won in goods, and still insisted on buying him everything he ate and wore, it was more than possible.

“Well, I’ll leave it behind anyway.”

He opened the browser and went to Niver. He still had cafes to check from earlier, the ones he hadn’t finished because of his bad mood.

[Grace Orphanage]

The cafe’s updates had stopped ages ago, and as expected, it was full of spam posts. In the “Greetings” board, he had to scroll dozens of pages before finding a legitimate message. It was from four years ago, posted by someone named Kim Isak, saying he was doing well and working part-time in a metropolitan city near Gyeongjin, and telling anyone with free time to contact him. There were no comments. It had only three views, one of which was from Haeri just now. There was no phone number or email. Everything after that was spam again.

He had to go back fourteen years to find anything else, and even then it was all formulaic greetings like school homework: wanting a game console, wanting to eat pizza, the kind of things young kids would say. A now-deleted member, likely a teacher, had left a comment. The cafe had only been active for about three months.

“Blessing Class,” “Hope Class,” “Grace Class” boards, it was all the same. Spam everywhere. Some boards were nothing but ads. Disappointment piled on.

The last board he checked was [Photos].