PHUW 40

Jeong Mok checked the inside of Haeri’s thigh with meticulous care. Haeri knew he should tell him to stop, ask why he was doing this, but there was no trace of ulterior motive or embarrassment in Jeong Mok’s serious, concerned expression. That made it harder to react with irritation or awkwardness, leaving Haeri feeling like he was the only one thinking in that direction.

He bit his lip, forcing his roughening breaths to steady. But Jeong Mok’s hands didn’t stop. The way he parted Haeri’s thighs to look further in, the sight of his head bent in concentration, it was exactly the kind of angle you’d see in an adult video, which only made it feel more indecent. Heat rushed in from all directions, pooling exactly where it shouldn’t.

‘Fuck, I’m going crazy. Why am I like this ?’

He opened his eyes wide and started at the damp, hazy bathroom ceiling.

He’s a doctor. A nurse. An older brother. He’s touching me out of concern. That’s it. That’s it. Don’t be conscious of it. It’s dirty. Don’t be conscious of it, Ahn Haeri!

“It doesn’t seem to a burn, but you should keep cooling it for a while,”

The strange sensation wrapping around Haeri’s whole body rose to a precarious level. Jeong Mok, unaware of any of this, kept trying to move the towel aside. How far was he planning to look? Just when Haeri thought he couldn’t take it anymore, his grip tightened, and his hand, unable to control its strength, slapped the back of Jeong Mok’s hand.

Jeong Mok, who was suddenly struck, looked up. Flames erupted from Haeri’s face. Unable to meet his gaze, he abruptly turned his head away. His pulse pounded in his ears.

“Alright, stop being so cranky,”

Jeong Mok chuckled as if he was soothing a puppy. He stood, both hands still pressing gently on Haeri’s bare thigh. That was the trigger. The one part of him that shouldn’t react did.

The movement under the damp folds of the towel was obvious enough for the other person to notice. A cool silence fell over the warm, humid bathroom.

“……Go wash up and come out”

Jeong Mok stood up quietly, handed the shower head to Haeri, and left the bathroom. Even after the sound of his footsteps faded, Haeri remained in a daze for a long moment, staring blankly at the water running down his thigh.

Deep self-loathing made him dizzy. The part of him that had lifted its head so shamelessly quickly wilted away. He shoved the towel aside, crawled into the tub, and curled up. He stared at the wall before suddenly covering his mouth with his hand.

‘Aaaagh!’

His body twisted all over like a fish freshly pulled from water.

Let’s just die. Let’s shove the shower head up your nose and just die. He doesn’t have any more pride, so let’s just die and be done with it.

He flailed under the spray for a long moment. Seriously, if he could, he wanted to die. But the thought of leaving behind a naked, amnesiac corpse in Jeong Mok’s care was too mortifying.

They say depression is water-soluble, maybe self-loathing was too. Once he soaped himself down with the shower towel, the weight of it eased a little. But leaving the bathroom felt impossible. More precisely, he didn’t know how he was supposed to face Jeong Mok. But he couldn’t stay here forever. Do or die, when cornered, the only way out was straight ahead.

At least his room was close to the bathroom. He ran into his room with Ahn Haeri towel around his waist.

‘This feels familiar somehow.’

As he pulled on fresh underwear and clothes, he realized it had already happened several times , fumbling, embarrassing himself, groaning in frustration, then finally giving up. And always, it somehow involved Jeong Mok.

‘Let’s not be too conscious.’

The fact that he had to tell himself that meant he already was. Haeri sighed and stepped out.

The sound of movement came from the kitchen. As expected, Jeong Mok was there. He had changed clothes too, but his hair was still damp. So while Haeri had been spiraling in the bathroom, he’d been showering in the other one.

‘Come to think of it, there’s another bathroom, so why did he offer to wash with me? Does he think I’m a kid who can’t bathe alone?’

The flicker of annoyance died out almost immediately. He’d gotten scalded just because he forgot to check the water temperature. He really was like a kid who couldn’t bathe alone.

“You’re out? There’s ointment in the living room. Put it on the burn,” Jeong Mok said.

Doing as told, Haeri sat on the sofa and applied it. The shorts he wore made it easy.

Jeong Mok, at the counter, was chopping chicken breast and sweet potatoes, not looking his way. Each time the knife hit the cutting board, the muscles under his white t-shirt shifted, the kind of back you’d expect to see on a men’s magazine cover. From the broad shoulders and thick frame down to the tapering lats and solid sides, there was nothing lacking.

Is it just the body? No, his face was actor-level, tall, wealthy, even-tempered, kind, and he could cook. On top of that, he had the rich baritone that even a famous footballer with perfect looks couldn’t have. And unlike a certain European island prince with otherwise flawless features, his hair was perfectly full.¹

‘He’s perfect no matter where you look.’

In his loose sweatpants, the inside of his right thigh stood out more than the left. Something heavy shifted there when he moved, separate from the motion of his leg.

When Haeri opened the fridge for water, he almost jumped.

‘Why is he keeping his phone there like that? It surprised me.’

While drinking bottled water, Haeri’s eyes drifted to the dining table. On the island counter sat a familiar phone beside a car key stamped with a high-end brand logo. Both belonged to Jeong Mok.

‘Was the pocket in his pants always on the inside?’

He suddenly realized something. His eyes slid to Jeong Mok’s backside, focusing entirely on the area between his hips and thighs. The way it swung naturally like a grandfather clock’s pendulum, with nothing holding it in place from inside, was… definitely not a modern device. It was the product of nature’s long, perfected evolution.

‘A new breed of human?’

Its presence felt different from when he wore cargo pants, and for some reason, Haeri’s throat tightened. He gulped down cold water without thinking and immediately choked.

Cough, cough.

The violent coughing forced water up his nose. Jeong Mok, who’d been taking out a pot, quickly tore off a sheet of paper towel and held it under his nose.

“You burn yourself in the shower, now you choke on water? Life with you would never be boring.”

His tone was exasperated, but to Haeri, it sounded different.

‘Does that mean you want to live with me forever?’

He couldn’t ask, because he was busy coughing.

It was fortunate that he was able to meet Jeong Mok’s eyes without awkwardness.

“I’m making dinner for the one in the entryway. As soon as that’s done, we’ll eat too,” Jeong Mok said.

The boiled chicken breast and sweet potato cooled for a bit before being poured into the bear-dog’s bowl. Woken by the smell, it cleaned the bowl with its tongue before flopping back down to sleep.

Since the runaway bear had eaten both their burgers, dinner was instant noodles. But with the fridge always stocked with premium Korean beef belly, the ramen was lavish. After eating their fill, they naturally moved to the living room, stomachs full.

Jeong Mok picked up the remote, found the action hero movie Haeri had mentioned, and paid for it.

“Are you watching noir?”

“You missed your burger too. It’s been a busy day. Let’s watch something light.”

“Sounds good.”

Truth be told, he didn’t have the energy for anything serious.

Jeong Mok sat at the far end of the sofa, while Haeri sat on the floor with his back against it, a little apart.

The movie delivered from the start, explosions, fight scenes, bits of comedy. It was genuinely entertaining, but Haeri’s body, worn out from the day’s chaos, his bathroom fiasco, and the ramen overload, betrayed him. His eyelids kept drooping. The movie was too good to just fall asleep, so he rubbed his eyes and fought to stay awake.

“Go to bed.”

“No, I want to keep watching.”

He turned down the suggestion.

“Then lie on the sofa to watch.”

At those words, Haeri climbed up slowly. After thinking about where to place his head, he decided to rest it on the slightly curved armrest and stretch his legs toward Jeong Mok. To avoid being rude, he bent his legs so his feet rested against the sofa back instead of sticking them out toward him.

The movie shifted into its middle act, where the hero, misunderstood and shunned, suffered alone. The shouting and big action dropped away, the sound quiet and somber. It was too still.

‘Just get through this scene…’

The moment he gave in and shut his eyes, it felt as sweet as honey.

*

He didn’t know how long it had been. The instant he realized he’d dozed off, his eyes flew open, only to find the credits rolling. He thought he’d napped for a minute, but the movie was already over.

His position had changed too. He was lying flat on his back in the middle of the sofa, legs stretched out over someone’s thick thighs. Even in his sleep, part of him knew this wasn’t right, but his body wouldn’t move.

Jeong Mok, now an impromptu footrest, calmly turned off the TV. Only the dim night light remained, as they’d turned off all other lights earlier. With the big screen dark, the living room was shadowy enough to sleep in.

He needed to get up, but on his own he couldn’t. He opened his mouth to ask for help when Jeong Mok’s hand settled on his knee, stroking the cool skin gently. Words stuck in his throat.

“Ahn Haeri. How cute can you be?”

There no trace of humor in his low, rough voice. It made it sound like being cute was somehow wrong.

To be honest, the strange one here was Jeong Mok for finding him cute. Maybe from the perspective of an older, much bigger man, he could be relatively seen that way. And what’s wrong with being cute?

The hand stroking his knee began to move. The five dry, rounded fingertips brushed the edge of his shorts, then slipped inside.

1. David Beckham and Prince William of the UK? ↩︎