PHUW 43

After Song-i passed away, Jeong Mok’s daily life for a year was miserable.

He had been diligent and active, enough to be awarded leave several times as an exemplary soldier in the Capital Defense Command. Riding the momentum of military life, he had thrown himself into academics afterward, completing his studies with energy, and after founding an architectural office, he had even pursued a doctoral course while working. But after Song-i became a handful of ashes, he stopped taking care of himself. He simply had no will, no strength. When he opened his eyes, he saw Song-i, and when he closed them, he smelled Song-i.

By the time people began to worry that he might make a wrong choice if this continued, the chairwoman, having grasped Jeong Mok’s condition, tried to have him forcibly hospitalized by mobilizing people. But the professor persuaded her otherwise, reasoning that if Jeong Mok were forcibly dragged out of the paradise he had shared with Song-i, he might become a broken man forever. He asked her to give him more time.

He was given just one year. If, after that year, he still did not take care of himself, he would be sent to a psychiatric hospital. If any strange signs appeared even before then, it would also mean psychiatric hospital. The one assigned to monitor him was Choi Jieon.

‘Your face looks better?’

That was the very first thing Choi Jieon said the moment she saw Jeong Mok.

When he asked why an eight-month pregnant woman had gone out of her way to come see him, she handed him an envelope stamped with the address of Solsoop law firm.

‘The professor is busy now that he’s returned to work. The only one in the family with time is me, since I’m on maternity leave.’

Inside was a report that, by some means, an amicable settlement had been reached concerning the incident at the shelter, along with the contract Jeong Mok had asked for.

Why was this in Choi Jieon’s hands? He asked only with his eyes. She laughed.

‘The chairwoman wants you to come to the family house for a meal soon.’

‘Why the chairwoman?’

The one-year promise had already passed some time ago. It had been the very day he met Ahn Haeri. He had expected contact soon, but not that they would want to see him in person right away.

‘The law firm was contacted, you think the chairwoman wouldn’t know? She even said to bring him too, but the professor stopped it, saying that would be going too far.’

Choi Jieon tapped the contract with her finger.

***

After parting with Choi Jieon, he returned home with a somewhat heavy heart.

The chairwoman had always been strict with people. On top of that, she had lost a younger sister eight years her junior to a tragic incident. Because of that, her children, Choi Sangeon and Choi Jieon, had faced extreme difficulties in their love lives. Even when couples raised their voices in the kind of petty quarrels lovers often had, it became a huge issue. When it came to family’s safety, the chairwoman would make no concessions, immediately intervening and turning the situation into a soap opera. The professor had said it was a miracle that both had succeeded in marrying for love.

The cousins themselves had said they had fiery romances in resistance to the chairwoman, and that they were still happy. But even they were full of worry whenever they looked at Jeong Mok.

Jeong Mok was the embodiment of the chairwoman’s trauma. When she saw him, she was furious, reminded of the monster child who had devoured her beloved sister, but when she did not see him, she was plagued by guilt over her sister’s only remaining blood. Even as she told herself she must embrace him with love, she also worried that he might become a monster.

While the cousins had dedicated teachers with degrees in education who went with them to and from school and supported their studies, Jeong Mok had been assigned a burly bodyguard uncle, a former national team fighter. From childhood, he had known the purpose was not just protection.

The bodyguard disappeared after he met Song-i. Once he began to speak and was able to live a normal school life, he was assigned a dedicated teacher like his cousins. That was the point when the chairwoman began to see him not as the child of a criminal but as a victim and a pitiable nephew.

That same Jeong Mok had broken a man’s nose with his fist.

He could easily guess what the chairwoman must be thinking. How hard the professor and Choi Jieon must have tried to defend him. Without them, he might already have been tied to a bed in a locked ward, with no chance of discharge.

It was not that the locked ward itself was frightening. He was used to it, and in some ways, it was even comfortable. The problem was, if he went back there, what would become of Ahn Haeri.

Ahn Haeri had the strange fate of getting caught up in incidents even when he did nothing. What were the odds of being at someone else’s construction site at dawn and being struck by a crowbar? Yet by awful luck, he had hit his head and needed brain surgery. And that was not all. At the homeless shelter the police had introduced, he had suffered misfortune as well. His fate with parents was as bad as Jeong Mok’s own.

And that was not the end.

He had left Haeri alone for barely thirty minutes to meet Choi Jieon, and in that short time, Haeri had gotten into trouble again. He was attacked by a stray dog and had his whole hamburger set snatched away. At first, Jeong Mok had been terrified, thinking he had been bitten. Later, when they went to catch the dog, it ended with Haeri himself being caught by the stray.

There had been more today.

He had almost scalded himself in the shower, then while debating whether to go to the hospital for burn treatment, he had suddenly gotten an erection, then later while watching a movie, had fallen asleep on the sofa, thrashed around, and brought his heel down on Jeong Mok’s thigh.

The act itself was fine. In his sleep, a person might strike out with their heel. He had brushed it off lightly, blaming himself for sitting in that spot where he got caught in Haeri’s vigorous sleep activity. He had laid Haeri’s shins neatly across his own thigh and patted his knees.

But the loose shorts riding up was the problem. The TV screen light brightened and dimmed. It was a split second. Through the gap of the shorts, he could see a round tip. While he tossed and turned, adjusting his position, his underwear must have been pulled too roughly and slipped out.

From that moment, none of the movie’s content registered. He did not want to wake the other, who was sleeping soundly. So he tried to pull the shorts back down.

While he carefully touched the fabric, the clueless dog barked loudly. Startled awake, Ahn Haeri leapt up like a spring and landed on his knees. If there had been neighbors downstairs, there would have been a complaint about noise between floors from the impact. Jeong Mok worried that his kneecaps might have been ruined. But Haeri, his face flushed red with embarrassment, ran straight to his room.

He was left dazed. He turned off the TV and was about to go to his room to sort out what he would say when meeting the chairwoman, when the dog whined again. Being familiar with dog language, he understood immediately and went to Haeri’s room. After calming the other, who was trembling, he could not possibly leave him alone, so he lay down together with him.

‘I can’t let my guard down for even a moment.’

Haeri’s lips pressed against his chest moved faintly. The other whispered something, then let out a deep sigh. One leg slid between Jeong Mok’s legs. Then the arm around his waist tightened. Even though he had never shared a bed with another person before, he knew this was an ordinary sleeping habit.

It would have been fine if it ended there.

But soft, elastic flesh pressed down against the tense muscle of his thigh. The wriggling body let out a low nasal hum as if pleased. Even in sleep, he was humping against Jeong Mok as if he were a healthy male pup.

Strangely, it did not feel unpleasant. Rather, it felt pitiful and cute. He almost laughed.

He did not intend to make it a question of identity, but realizing his tolerance for Haeri went this far left him feeling slightly troubled.

When Haeri burned his thigh in hot water, the pale and delicate skin had flushed red. Jeong Mok had felt sorry for him and examined it carefully. He was aware he had touched him for a long while. He had been deliberating whether applying ointment alone was enough, or if they needed to go to the hospital. But in retrospect, had that really been a normal level of concern?

And that was not the only question.

The moment he heard Haeri had been attacked by a stray dog, his reason had flown out of his head. He had stripped and groped the other as if to check every limb. In the process, Haeri had been extremely flustered.

The same went for when Haeri had disappeared from the police station. He had left without a word, and that had made him feel hurt. But was that really something to be so upset over? To the point of being unable to calm his anger all night? And what about when he saw Haeri being beaten? He had swung his fists, something he had never done in his life, and broken a man’s nose.

Most of all, he had let an unfamiliar person of unknown background into his home, given him a hundred million won, shared his bed, and offered his body under the pretext of calming his anxiety. That was far from the behavior of an ordinary adult.

One thing was certain. When it came to Ahn Haeri, he could not think rationally.

‘This is a serious problem.’

Even with Song-i, he had not been like this.

Thinking back, Song-i had disliked everyone except Jeong Mok, whether human or dog. She had always been anxious, barking and snapping if even slightly uncomfortable. Even the professor, who was popular with pets, had nearly been bitten. That was why they had moved to a quiet countryside with few people.

The golden retriever Janggun from a neighboring house had been exceptionally friendly, so Song-i’s wariness of other dogs had eased a little. But in the end, Janggun was the only one she accepted. She still ignored all other dogs, not even wanting to greet them. She was known in the neighborhood as an odd, prim creature.

Because of that, it was possible that Jeong Mok’s violent, obsessive tendencies had simply never been revealed. No, it was likely so.

But Ahn Haeri was different. He was an adult man with free will. He trusted Jeong Mok and showed affection, but there was no telling when he might change. Whether it came from Haeri’s own will or from some misunderstanding, the effect on Jeong Mok would be the same.

Was it really fine to continue staying close like this? If Haeri’s cute slip-ups in sleep were not mistakes at all, but truly what he intended? If they deepened into a relationship… would that truly be right?

They were nothing more than two people who had come to know each other by chance through an accident, yet already he was excessively conscious of him and obsessing.

He had to show his face at the family home. The chairwoman would want an explanation about the violent incident. Haeri would inevitably come up. And in the midst of that, Haeri kept unsettling him in unexpected ways.

It was troublesome. That he was already thinking of ways to keep Haeri by his side just because the sight of him humping against his thigh in his sleep was too cute.

It was a thoughtful night.