PHUW 50

He came down and wiped the air mat and the hot-water mat. He inflated the thick queen-size air mat and spread the hot-water mat on top, and a warm temporary bed was ready.

Since the house was located in front of a mountain, even though insulation had been done thoroughly, the air still turned cold in winter. Before turning on the heating system in earnest, Song-i had enjoyed lying on this warm makeshift bed. And just like Song-i, Haeri did as well.

“Wow! It’s so warm.”

Jeong Mok had thought Haeri didn’t feel the cold since he always wore shorts and short sleeves, but he had been wrong. Haeri clung to the hot-water mat and lazily rolled around. Half-lying face down, with one leg raised, the inside of his outstretched leg was completely visible. His thin T-shirt had ridden up and caught at his waist. He was defenseless.

“If you’re cold, wear something long.”

Jeong Mok said and turned his eyes toward Gom.

Gom was already playing with a ball. He ran around every corner of the living room by himself, then charged into the kitchen, bouncing without looking, and his massive body hit a dining chair. The chair slammed into the table with a loud noise.

“Hey!”

Haeri, who had been lying down, stood up and ran over.

“Why don’t you just smash everything!”

He had climbed onto the sofa while wet, he had chewed on the mat, and now it was the dining chair. Jeong Mok had already been yielding a lot and overlooking things, but with all these accidents, Haeri felt not just sorry but genuinely angry.

“Are you going to keep causing trouble? Didn’t I tell you if you keep it up, we’ll be kicked out?”

Startled, Gom seemed to realize he had done wrong this time. He tucked his tail and scooted his rump back. A house-sized puppy cowering and watching nervously was a pitiful sight, but Haeri couldn’t afford to soften here.

“Why are you scolding him like that. You should check first if he got hurt.”

Jeong Mok stepped in to defend Gom. That only made Haeri angrier.

“What, the chair might break but that big oaf isn’t going to get hurt!”

“Ahn Haeri.”

The low voice that called his name was very cold.

Haeri flinched, stopped mid-shout, and looked back at Jeong Mok. His strict eyes were full of disappointment. Haeri felt a sudden unease.

He had wanted this kind of setup when he went overboard, but being sternly scolded for real left him a little embarrassed. Haeri awkwardly wet his lips.

“Gom. No running in the house. Let’s play outside in the yard.”

Jeong Mok picked up the ball Gom had been playing with and walked out to the yard. Gom started after him but stopped and turned back, looking up at Haeri.

“He wants you to come too.”

Haeri motioned with his hand, but instead Gom came closer to him. He rubbed his blunt nose against Haeri’s stomach, licked his hand, then circled him before stomping both front paws toward the garden where Jeong Mok was.

“He says to come too.”

Jeong Mok called from over there.

“You just got scolded by me. And you still want to play together?”

“Being scolded is one thing, liking someone is another.”

Jeong Mok explained further.

‘Even after all that scolding, he still likes me. You fool.’

Haeri hugged Gom and rubbed his neck. Then, he headed for the garden.

At first Jeong Mok led by throwing the ball. But before long he fell back, sitting down at the table near the living room window, dragging his tired body. Unlike his weariness, the other two still ran across the grass chasing the ball with endless energy.

‘Don’t they get tired?’

From hospital check-ups to the vet, then bathing a giant dog, anyone else would be collapsed by now. Yet they looked nothing like that.

“Gom! Catch it!”

As if he had never been angry, Haeri threw the ball. As if he had never been cowed, Gom dashed after it, tongue and tail flying. The sight was so bright and energetic that it made Jeong Mok smile just watching.

They really were alike. The fluttering brown hair, the way he seemed relaxed yet suddenly flared up sharply, the prim air, the way he watched Jeong Mok closely yet, at decisive moments, stubbornly did whatever he wanted.

‘Could Haeri be Song-i reincarnated as a human?’

The age didn’t fit. But whenever Jeong Mok looked at Haeri, he couldn’t help but think it. And with Gom adding the presence unique to dogs, it truly felt as though Song-i had come back alive.

Maybe that was why he had been calmer than expected when going upstairs for the first time in a year. Not because of the old toys and things covered in dust that carried Song-i’s traces, but because a living person so much like Song-i was right by his side.

He hadn’t realized his feelings for Song-i were this shallow. At the same time, since he had met Haeri on the very day he made up his mind to complete the building he had designed for Song-i, he couldn’t help attaching meaning. It felt almost as if Song-i had sent him, and with the memory loss forcing Haeri to rely on him, it seemed like fate.

‘Nonsense. That’s just a pathetic excuse.’

Jeong Mok scolded himself inwardly. To Song-i, and to memoryless Haeri, even heartfelt apology wouldn’t be enough. What right did he have to wallow in self-pity.

“Hyung-nim!”

Haeri called out. The ball came flying his way. Jeong Mok reflexively knocked it aside. Gom leapt after the ball as it flew to the other side, and in the process pushed Haeri, who had been nearby.

“Ah!”

Unable to withstand the weight of the giant dog, Haeri toppled backward. Jeong Mok stood up and rushed over.

“Haeri-ya. Did you hit your head?”

He looked down at Haeri sprawled across the grass in concern. The sparkling barley-tea-colored eyes curved prettily. His flushed cheeks, red from running, twitched, then his plump red lips parted in a bright smile.

“I’m fine.”

Haeri’s smiling face, so full of joy, was fresh and vibrant enough to make the one looking at him feel happy in turn. The crown of Jeong Mok’s head tingled in a good way and his field of vision narrowed. The green grass blurred and receded, and instead the white and red face stood out vividly. Time itself seemed to slow, the twinkling light in Haeri’s eyes sparkling like slow motion.

It couldn’t be described as simply cute or pretty. No word could describe this moment.

What should he call this?

It was unfamiliar, yet strangely familiar. He clearly knew the concept, but no defining word came to mind. The frustration made him anxious for no reason.

Thump, thump.

Drums pounded beneath his breastbone. Without realizing it, he knelt and drew closer. He wanted to fill his eyes completely with this loveliness.

A shadow fell across the innocent smiling face. At the same time, the other’s smile cautiously faded. His clear eyes trembled slightly, his cheeks flushed redder, and his lips, parted in laughter, pressed shut. The scent of grass mixed faintly with tension.

Woof!

With a thunderous bark, a large black shape thrust itself between them. The tension that had hung like thin ice shattered, and Jeong Mok snapped back to himself. He quickly straightened his lowering body. At the same time, Haeri turned his head around and covered his mouth with the back of his hand.

Gom, who had fetched the ball from afar, stomped Haeri’s chest with his thick front paws.

“Ugh, it’s heavy! You brat!”

As if nothing had happened, Haeri pushed away the massive furball and lifted his upper body. The black dog wagged his tail wildly, enough to fling it off, and licked Haeri’s still-reddened face all over.

Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep~.

The signal announcing the end of the wash sounded from inside the open living room door.

“The laundry must be done.”

Jeong Mok hurried off toward the laundry room as if escaping. As he touched the washing machine’s end button, he let out a long breath. His heart pounded, and cold sweat ran all over his body.

‘What just happened.’

Haeri had been lying on the grass, and he had been kneeling beside him, lowering his upper body. At the moment his shadow covered Haeri, when his figure was reflected clearly in those barley-tea-colored eyes, if Gom hadn’t interrupted… what would he have done.

Suddenly his mouth felt dry and scratchy, his throat parched. He unconsciously wetted his lips with his tongue, then startled and rubbed his mouth with his palm.

It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours since he had realized there was something different about the way he saw Haeri. And it had been less than an hour since he resolved to keep distance, feeling the danger that misperception could bring.

Murderer Jeong Yeongil had not only passed down his surname to Jeong Mok. He had passed down his large build, his face, and even parts of his personality. That was why the madness must have been inherited too. The chairwoman had always suspected him of it. For that reason, Jeong Mok’s growth had been a process of restoring normalcy, and once he became an adult, he always had to prove that he was normal.

Never once had Jeong Mok called himself crazy. Even as a joke, admitting to madness might shake the normalcy he had barely recovered. But now, in this moment, the taboo he had never crossed in his life naturally took over his mind.

‘I’m crazy. Completely crazy.’

Twenty-four years old.

Though an adult, except for the unlucky few, most people at that age lost sleep over assignments due the next day or what to wear to a weekend blind date. Even if an adult in body, emotionally, financially, and socially they were still far from mature.

‘I made such a move on a child like that? Me?’

And not just any, but an amnesiac, panic-disordered orphan left all alone without parents? It wasn’t enough to volunteer as a fully trustworthy guardian, and here he was doing this madness.

‘No matter how much he resembles Song-i. He’s not even a woman, but a man.’

As he floundered in self-reproach, Jeong Mok suddenly realized the fundamental problem.

‘If it’s because he resembles Song-i… does that mean I saw Song-i like this too?’

His breath caught and his mind froze.