PHUW 53

Haeri trembled with betrayal through the whole short way back, after saying goodbye to the laughing uncle. He trudged to the parking lot and saw the luxury car.

“You said she was your dead girlfriend! Girlfriend! Losing a dog you raised for over ten years is tragic, but lying that it was your dead girlfriend is too much! What were you even thinking! Ah, fuck!”

He was so angry that he kicked the car tire.

“Ah!”

He had forgotten he was wearing slippers. His toes throbbed down to the roots from hitting the firm tire. Hopping on one foot, he lost his balance and crashed against the sedan.

Beep beep beep beep beep.

The car’s anti-theft alarm went off at the detected impact. Startled, he leapt away and this time tumbled backward with a thud. From inside the house, Gom-i had somehow already come out to the garden and barked at the air. When Gomi barked, Janggun barked too. In an instant, the insane chorus of the two big dogs set off every other dog in the neighborhood.

“Oh my, what’s all this fuss!”

“Young man! Hurry and get inside and quiet him down!”

Janggun’s parents came out shouting. Looking around, he saw neighbors peeking out too.

“I’m sorry!”

Too embarrassed and humiliated to even rub his sore butt, he scrambled up and limped quickly into the house.

As he pressed the door lock outside, Gom-i’s barking cut off. Instead, the sound of scratching at the inner door grew loud. Passing through the entryway and the front hall, he flung the inner door open, and Gom-i leapt at him.

“Ugh!”

Wagging his tail, Gom-i licked and sniffed Haeri all over with his nose and tongue. His thick paws pressed into Haeri’s thighs and stomach so hard he couldn’t breathe.

“I’m fine. I said I’m fine. Get off, you brat.”

Haeri panicked and pushed him away. Gom-i dodged and clung to him, he ran to the living room and collapsed onto the air mattress. Gom-i trampled his hips and waist recklessly.

“You’re heavy! Get down.”

Even when he yelled, Gom-i happily licked his cheek. Thinking he might get crushed to death, Haeri grabbed Gom-i’s neck tightly like a boxer. The dog, who had been thrashing with excitement, finally calmed down under the body hold. But he still didn’t sit or lie down. Instead, he wagged his tail lightly and sniffed at Haeri’s feet.

“Gom-ah, hyung is hurting.”

Slurp slurp.

A hot tongue licked his toes.

“Gross. Don’t lick.”

Haeri jumped up and pushed Gom-i aside, then went to the bathroom to wash his feet. Gom-i trailed him closely even after he came out.

His throat was parched, so he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and drank it down. He poured the rest into Gom-i’s new water bowl. Having barked so much, Gom-i too drank noisily with gusto. Haeri squatted beside him and draped an arm around him.

The betrayal that had surged to the top of his head the moment he learned Song-i’s true identity faded away with the ruckus Gom-i had caused. Now he was worried.

“Hey. We’re really in trouble.”

Lying about a dead girlfriend was a bit low. Correction, it was really low. But if he had called her that because Song-i was both female and his friend, then there was nothing to say. Janggun’s parents thought of Janggun as their child too.

The real problem was that he had foolishly forced a dog on someone who still carried the grief of losing a dog that was like a girl friend.

“The stuff upstairs must have been Song-i’s. The worn sofa was Song-i’s doing. Even the ball you played with must have been her toy.”

Even half as a joke, if he had so casually called her his girlfriend, then his feelings for Song-i had definitely not been a joke. Neither had his grief.

‘Come to think of it, he said a dog’s time passes quickly.’

At that time, Jeong Mok had looked very somber. Back then, Haeri thought he was just angry because he hadn’t followed his decision, so he was in a bad mood. But now, thinking back, it was that he had never overcome the pain of losing his dog. For Haeri to decide so suddenly and stubbornly without any deep talk, it was natural he had reacted that way.

“I think I really was at fault.”

Haeri hugged Gom-i tightly.

But knowing Jeong Mok’s circumstances didn’t mean he would ever go back on adopting Gom-i. Gom-i had already been abandoned once. If he hadn’t taken him from the start that would be different, but since he had decided to raise him, he would go through with it to the end. Even if, like Jeong Mok, he suffered grief from sorrow.

‘It’s not like it’s my first time losing someone and being left alone.’

When he was young, there was Grandma. Her face was blurry. He didn’t even know her name. He didn’t even know how she had died. The only thing clear was the frightening loneliness he felt when he had sat blankly in that dark, messy room after she passed away. Feeling abandoned by the whole world, Haeri had clutched her blanket, still heavy with her scent, and cried quietly into it as if it were her.

At first, he had thought the world had ended. But the living somehow kept living. Even a child too young to start school went on living, eating expired ramen.

Even now Haeri was alive. After Grandma was gone, after he had left the orphanage, even after he had lost his memory in an unexpected accident, he was still alive.

Haeri buried his face into Gom-i’s neck. His thick, fluffy body was warm, and his glossy black fur carried a faint scent of baby powder.

Even a big, healthy dog like this would someday grow old. Long before Haeri did, Gom-i would become an old dog, his joints worn, his teeth gone, panting as he struggled even to fetch a ball. The promised farewell would steadily walk toward them, and all they could do was watch.

But that farewell was still far off. Haeri and Gom-i were too young, too spirited to refuse even meeting again just because the parting they had already gone through was too sad. Their lives were too precious to waste living like an old soul, trembling at loss and separation.

“Since your time goes faster… that’s why we have to play harder, have more fun. Got it?”

Haeri hugged Gom-i tightly.

Woof!

As if he understood human speech, Gom-i answered with a booming bark.

On the spur of the moment, Haeri thought maybe they should play fetch again, so he sprang up. At once, Gom-i also leapt from his spot.

That was when it happened.

Grrr

His stomach rumbled. Checking his phone belatedly, he saw it was already nearing dinnertime. Thinking back, after his hospital appointment he had eaten brunch, but nothing since then. No wonder he was hungry.

“Sorry, but let’s eat first.”

Holding his empty stomach, Haeri headed to the kitchen.

He usually helped with meal preparation, but Jeong Mok’s hands were so quick there was rarely anything left to do. But today, Jeong Mok wasn’t here. This was his chance.

“Let’s make dinner and clean up. I need to earn points.”

He had spent the whole day pestering someone who still hadn’t gotten over the loss of his dog. Jeong Mok had stormed out angry, and no one knew when he would come back, but at the very least it seemed better to prepare dinner and tidy up while waiting.

He poured the new kibble into Gom-i’s bowl, then rinsed the rice cooker.

He washed the rice and set it, dug through the fridge for vegetables and meat, and made a simple stir-fry and a pot of soybean paste stew. He snacked here and there while tasting, enough to curb the worst hunger, then quickly ran the vacuum cleaner. Gom-i, apparently afraid of the noise, ran into the garden.

While vacuuming, he also put away the air mattress and the hot-water mat. Even if Jeong Mok had been the one to take them out, if they had been Song-i’s things, it felt wrong to use them carelessly.

As he wiped down the corners of the living room with a rag, another notification sounded from the laundry room. When he went to check, the drying cycle was done.

He tossed the rag into the washer and pulled out the dried laundry. As he spread it out in the living room, the cowardly big dog, who had snuck back in at some point, plopped down nearby. Gom-i blinked his droopy eyes, then soon closed them and fell asleep. Haeri himself kept yawning.

‘Just fold the laundry and then lie down.’

While folding towels, the phone he had left on the sofa table buzzed. Thinking it might be Jeong Mok, he rushed over, only to find it was an ad. Disappointed, he nearly tossed the phone onto the warm pile of towels but instead opened the messaging app.

Where are you hyung-nim?

I made soybean paste stew for dinner.

He sent it three times in a row, then went back to folding. After stacking towels neatly, he folded his own t-shirt and shorts. Just as he picked up a much larger t-shirt, the phone lit up.

Jeong Mok Hyung-nim

Eat first

He hadn’t been waiting for a reply. But this wasn’t the reply he had wanted either. The pride he had felt, just a little inflated while cooking, cleaning, and folding laundry, faltered.

Are you going to be very late? I can wait.

Jeong Mok Hyung–nim

No, don’t wait

The curt answer flustered him. Even without hearing his voice, he could feel the coldness just from the text. Haeri straightened his posture.

Are you angry, hyung?

I’m sorry for bringing Gom-i without asking.

I’m really sorry

Jeong Mok Hyung–nim

That’s not it

He received so many messages saying no, as if he had been waiting for this. Which only made it even more unwelcome. He almost sent another apology but stopped.

Stretching his stiff back, he glanced up at the ceiling for a moment, then turned his eyes to Gom-i lying beside him.

He couldn’t lean on Jeong Mok’s kindness forever. They had only met by chance, and yet this person had treated him so well. He didn’t want to keep pestering him, or worse, make him go seek out a beloved dog who had died in grief.

After some thought, Haeri typed another message.

When you come in, I have something to tell you.

Jeong Mok Hyung–nim

What’s it?

Again, the reply came instantly, as if he were watching the screen the whole time.

I’ll tell you when you come in.

Jeong Mok Hyung–nim

I’m coming now

It’s not urgent. Take your time and come after work.

Drive carefully

See you later

He sent only what he had to say, then tossed the phone onto the pile of towels. Even as he finished folding the rest of the laundry, the screen never lit again. His heart sank a little more.

Looking down, he realized he was holding unfamiliar underwear. They were Jeong Mok’s. Stroking the smooth yet firm fabric, he felt strange, so he quickly folded them and placed them on top of Jeong Mok’s laundry.

Once he had finished everything, his strength drained away. He collapsed sideways where he sat.

He leaned against Gom-i’s thick body like a pillow. Gom-i lifted his head slightly, then lay back down. Stroking the soft fur, Haeri swallowed the gloom in his chest.

‘I didn’t know this morning things would turn out like this. Every day is hard.’

Haeri sighed and closed his eyes.