RB 114

Even drunk, Yeorok’s eyes remained pitch-black, as if covered by a dark vein. His gaze, slightly unfocused, lingered on Eunho, uncharacteristically filled with desire.

“……”

Eunho’s breath caught in his throat. Instinctively, his body froze and he took a step back. But Yeorok reached out before he could escape. He pulled Eunho, still acting defiant, into his arms.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are you doing this!”

Haa, Yeorok let out a sigh of exhaustion. Thoughts flooded through his alcohol-addled mind

‘Don’t you get tired of always keeping control? Are you even human?’

How could he not be tired? Even if it wasn’t just the alcohol, his body was sinking. He was so exhausted he could die. He longed to let go and rest, but his only refuge was gone. So he couldn’t rest comfortably.

“Eunho.”

Yeorok called Eunho softly, as if he were sighing. A longing voice, never before heard before, flowed from his lips.

“What am I supposed to do with you?”

Perhaps because of the alcohol, his heart was beating faster than usual. Meanwhile, his mind was frozen. At that moment, Yeorok let go of all thoughts and followed only his own feelings. The result was pulling Eunho into his embrace.

Yeorok buried his face in Eunho’s neck. His bare skin felt warm against his. With each deep breath he took, Eunho’s scent wafted in.

“What would you like me to do?”

There must be a way. He was holding on, believing that if he waited patiently, Eunho would return.

However, he couldn’t help but grow weary from the uncertain wait. How much longer would it take? Was it even possible? That uncertainty slowly ate away at his mind.

“Why are you asking me that?”

Eunho pushed Yeorok and distanced himself from him. He grimaced and muttered.

“If you’re going to lose your mind, do it properly. Stop holding me like a creep.”

An expression of displeasure etched on Eunho’s face as he shook off the arm Yeorok had been holding. Eunho turned away coldly, as if he no longer wanted to deal with him. Yeorok couldn’t stop him as he left.

“…….”

Left alone, Yeorok leaned against the wall, staring down at the floor. His head hung limply and his posture imbalanced, like that of a drunkard. Soon, he let out a hollow laugh.

***

It’s been several weeks since he’s been locked up in the mansion.

Eunho’s mental state showed no signs of improving. In fact, he was increasingly mimicking the behavior of the deceased Choi Yoonho.

“…….”

Eunho quietly looked around Yeorok’s personal study, which he had left in disarray. The place, always tidy, was a shambles, as if it had been bombed. Everywhere was littered with torn paper and debris. He’d torn and smashed everything he could get his hands on, and that’s why it ended up like that.

One day he’d be in a good mood, the next he’d be breaking things. Like someone with bipolar disorder, his mood would fluctuate dozens of times a day. Even Eunho found these mood swings burdensome.

Ever since Choi Yeorok’s drunken outburst a few days ago, he’s been having strange dreams. Most of them are ones he didn’t want to relive. In those dreams, he was so in love with Choi Yeorok that with just a single word or expression from Choi Yeorok, his world would crumble and then right itself. It was such a pure and innocent love, to the point where he wondered if such a thing existed.

When he woke up, that desperate feeling still lingered, making him even more violent. Even when he was still, the sudden surges of resentment and anger were unbearable.

The outbursts were a direct result of anger directed at Choi Yeorok. So, he kept trashing the mansion and destroying objects that reminded him of Choi Yeorok.

But when emotions fluctuate, it’s bound to be difficult for him. When his headache worsened, Eunho took the medication on his own. Just to survive.

He’d already checked what the medication was. It was mostly anti-anxiety drugs and SSRIs. There was also a sedative mixed in, so after taking it, he felt drowsy for an hour or two and fell into a deep sleep.

Eunho lay down on the messy study floor and tried to sleep. After venting his frustrations, he finally felt a sense of relief. The medicine was starting to kick in, calming his trembling heart.

Eunho gradually drifted off to sleep. He didn’t care where he could lay down, so he used the messy carpet as his bed and quietly exhaled.

‘Sim Eunho has been acting as Choi Yoonho for the past year.’

‘In Eunho’s case, it’s fair to say Choi Yoonho’s personality has taken over his identity.’

‘If he keeps taking his medication, he’ll get better than he is now.’

Ahn Jaehwan, Choi Yeorok, all of them were liars and frauds. They were desperate to paint him as a lunatic.

Was it really okay to take the pills they gave him without suspicion? Even so, he felt he couldn’t live without them. Painkillers alone couldn’t get rid of this endless headache and anxiety. He had no choice.

‘Choi Yoonho is dead.’

“Liar. I don’t believe you…”

Eunho murmured weakly. Everything Yeorok said was a lie. Even the genetic test results had to be forged. If it was Yeorok, that bastard could make the impossible possible.

Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.

Eunho muttered to himself, struggling not to believe in Yeorok. He was already confused enough, on the verge of breaking down. Sleep was his only safe refuge. He turned his back on the terrifying reality and let himself sank into deep slumber.

Not long after, the door to the study opened.

Yeorok, back from work, walked straight to Eunho. His expensive knees touched the floor. He didn’t even glance at the ruined room, only looked down at the sleeping Eunho.

“You’re sleeping on the floor again.”

He carefully brushed Eunho’s messy hair with his fingers, smoothing it strand by strand. Then he gently stroked his round forehead.

The face of the man sleeping peacefully was unmistakably Sim Eunho. Yet every time he opened his eyes, he turned into Choi Yoonho and tormented him again. But who could he blame? He was the one who made him this way.

“Sim Eunho-ssi, is it easier for you to live as Choi Yoonho?”

“……”

“Do you want me to give up?”

Yeorok always asked those questions only when Eunho was asleep, knowing he couldn’t answer. It was shameless and selfish. He had no intention of letting him go, yet he pretended to care, showing false concern only when Eunho couldn’t respond.

Then Yeorok lay on his side. Leaving the proper bed untouched, still in his clothes, he lay down beside Eunho. He offered one arm under him and rested his head on the bare floor.

He stayed like that for a long time, keeping Eunho in his sight, engraving the result of his own sins deep into himself. What he felt wasn’t regret but lingering attachment. His only wish was to somehow restore everything that had gone wrong.

“I’m not giving up. So come back to me.”

Suddenly, Eunho tossed and turned. He thought he was sleeping soundly, but he groaned as if he were having a nightmare. Even his furrowed brows betrayed his distress. Yeorok gently stroked the back of his head.

“It’s alright. Everything will be alright.”

As if to soothe his anxiety, Yeorok gently smoothed the creases between his brows. When his hand touched him, Eunho’s closed eyelids fluttered.

Then he opened his eyes.

“……”

His eyes, wet from the effects of the drug, were somewhat dim. They were open, but he seemed still asleep. But Eunho stared at Yeorok through his blurry eyes.

“…Why are you in front of me?”

Eunho muttered in a subdued voice. Yeorok flinched for a moment.

“…Sim Eunho-ssi.”

He knew it instinctively.

The person in front of him was Sim Eunho.

The unfocused eyes, the trembling breath were undoubtedly Eunho’s.

For a moment, a chill ran down his spine. As Yeorok stared at him, unable to blink, Eunho slowly straightened his upper body. It was only a matter of moments before he flipped over and sat down on Yeorok, who was lying on his back.

Eunho stretched out both hands and grabbed Yeorok’s neck with all his might.

“I’m sick of you. I hate the sight of you.”

The fingers pressing against his neck trembled. Though Eunho had barely any strength, Yeorok felt as if he were caught in a noose, unable to move.

“Why did you do that to me?”

Eunho muttered weakly. Tears streamed from his eyes. They fell into the air, bypassing his cheeks, and fell in spots onto Yeorok’s cheeks.

“You abandoned me… so how dare you show yourself to me?”

Eunho put more strength in his thumbs. Though all it did was add a little more pressure.

“I hope you, Chairman, are ruined like me. I hope you suffer for the rest of your life.”

Eunho’s eyes were still blank. But his pained voice was genuine. Sim Eunho, who had fled into the abyss because reality was too horrific, was once again coming out and revealing his true feelings.

Yeorok froze, unable to even breathe. He sat up abruptly and hugged Eunho tightly.

“Sim Eunho-ssi.”

Haa, haa, his breath came out in gasps. Yeorok’s entire body trembled like an aspen tree. When he met Sim Eunho again, his mind went blank.

“Just a moment… I’ll find a way, so please just hold on for a moment.”

He grabbed Eunho’s waist and said.

But Eunho’s head had already fallen back onto his shoulder. He knew, both physically and mentally, that he’d lost consciousness again, but Yeorok couldn’t let him go. The fact that there was nothing he could do right now was painful.

Yeorok gasped, crushed by his own helplessness. Eunho’s tears streamed down Yeorok’s pale cheeks. The miserable, distorted expression on his face made it seem as if he were crying.

He felt trapped in an endless punishment. For Yeorok, the reality of having to wait until death for Sim Eunho, who appeared and disappeared like a mirage, was both a sliver of hope and a punishment.

Even embracing his empty shell didn’t fill the emptiness in his heart. This was a place only Sim Eunho could fill.

“I wish Eunho would ruin me instead.”

I don’t care if you swear or tore me apart, please come back to me and witness my suffering.