RB 21

The voice that brushed past his ear made Eunho’s back twitch. He felt the warmth of another person through their touching upper bodies.

Far from relaxing, his body stiffened harder than before, but Yeorok ignored it and corrected Eunho’s hand. He turned his wrist, corrected the angle of his palm, and adjusted the position of each finger one by one. It was like fixing the posture of a doll. He was so meticulous in adjusting Eunho’s posture that he seemed not to notice their bodies pressing together.

Eunho was gone to another world for a while.

“Sim Eunho-ssi, are you not focusing?”

Until he heard the low voice.

Eunho’s back straightened again and strength went into his left hand. Before he knew it, his hand was wrapping the wine glass more naturally.

“Can you remember this feeling?”

“Yes.”

“Put it down and pick it up again.”

Eunho put the wine glass down and lifted it again as he was told. Yeorok stood behind and pointed out the parts that looked wrong. He only returned to his seat after Eunho could hold the glass perfectly.

Yeorok slumped into the chair, he looked twice as tired as before. In the silence, Eunho only observed him quietly. When their eyes met, Yeorok slowly rubbed the corner of his mouth.

“Sim Eunho-ssi.”

“Yes.”

“Don’t shrink in front of me.”

“…I am sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry. Sim Eunho-ssi is not in a position to be pitiful anymore, right? If you decided to live as Choi Yoonho, then keep your head up. Do I need to explain to you how brazen people with privilege are?”

“……”

Eunho clenched his lowered hand under the table. He raised his head as Yeorok wanted and looked straight at him. The look in Yeorok’s eyes finally softened.

“Good.”

He lifted the heavy wine bottle and refilled the glass. The trickling sound filled the quiet space.

“Always keep in mind what your position is. I mean, you should think it is natural to make me put in effort.”

Eunho swirled the wine glass as he had learned, and he repeated Yeorok’s words in his head. After a long time his lips opened.

“I will, uncle.”

“……”

It was an unexpected title. Yeorok stiffened like he was hit in the back of the head. Then he suddenly laughed.

“Not bad.”

“I can drink the wine, right?”

Yeorok gave him permission. Only then could Eunho wet his dry mouth. He drank boldly without manners, just as Yeorok wanted, like Choi Yoonho.

“How does it taste?”

Eunho licked his wet lips. The wine on his tongue felt richer than before. That too was a new experience.

“Blackberry, plum, vanilla, dark chocolate, lavender, clove, and damp earth.”

“……”

“Is that the right answer?”

Yeorok smiled instead of answering. It was hard to tell if the smile was genuine or false. What was clear was that he looked satisfied.

***

Eunho returned to his room and came out after washing clean.

Three glasses of wine made him slightly intoxicated. His body was tired, but he felt moderately good and a little drowsy. He thought of studying more, but his head didn’t seem to work well, so he decided to lie down.

He dried his wet hair completely and walked to the bed. The king-size bed was too wide for one person. When he put his knees on it, the mattress sank like stepping on clouds. The blanket was feather-light, whenever he covered himself with it, sleep always came easily.

Eunho lay still and looked around the bedroom. The absurdly large space had already become familiar like his own house. Lying in Choi Yoonho’s bed and falling asleep had become routine.

In the comfortable silence, Eunho unconsciously opened his hand. The fingertips that had been rough were now soft and smooth. Like the hand of a rich young master who had never done hard work.

The past when his hands were always wet from washing dishes and trimming ingredients felt like a distant time. Eunho was now leaving behind his shabby past and adapting to a new life.

Living as Choi Yoonho was honestly enjoyable. Was there a lot to study? Was the acting hard? Those were just spoiled complaints.

Excellent meals every day, clothes expensive to the point of excess, a good house where warm water poured endlessly… not having to struggle for every penny was a big advantage. Eunho no longer had to live drowning in debt.

Most of all, what he liked best was that there were people around who cared for him. Seo Taehwa looked after him like an older brother, and Ahn Jaehwan cared for not only his body but also his mind. He was clumsy and could not express it, but the warmth of another person, which he experienced for the first time in his life, was so touching it brought tears to his eyes.

And Choi Yeorok.

They were not blood related, but would be tied as family for life.

If he continued to live as Choi Yoonho, it meant their relationship would continue as well.

Choi Yeorok was too young to be called uncle. Only a seven-year difference. But regardless of age, he was still a hard person to deal with.

Eunho turned and lay on his side. Hugging the soft blanket to his chest, he recalled the drinking earlier. He thought he did well for his first time. He looked clumsy in many ways, but he didn’t make any big mistakes.

Above all….

‘It is fortunate that Sim Eunho-ssi is smart. Teaching feels rewarding.’

It was fortunate for him that the precious time he spared for Eunho had not gone to waste. It was only an hour, but the short meeting with Yeorok stayed in his mind more than any other.

Eunho turned off the light beside the bed and quietly closed his eyes. His heart beat a little from the feeling of being acknowledged. He chewed on the unfamiliar uplift for a long time. At this rate he might not be able to sleep.

***

“Did you drink too much yesterday? Why are the circles under your eyes so dark?”

Eunho touched his own eyes. Of course the dark circles would not disappear by doing that.

“No… I just didn’t sleep well.”

“Did you drink until late? Or did Choi Yeorok scold you a lot? From what I heard he must have been really tired yesterday… he was probably harsh because of that.”

Seo Taehwa was busy defending Choi Yeorok. Eunho drank the tea he gave and couldn’t say anything. Far from being harsh, Yeorok had treated him very well…. On the contrary, he felt grateful that Yeorok helped him even while he was tired, and he felt a little guilty.

“Hyung, can you get me some books?”

“Hm? What books?”

“Books about wine or liquor. Ones a beginner can read….”

“You want to study in advance? Oh my… you must have gotten a big scolding.”

Seo Taehwa seemed to have misunderstood something. He said he would get the books within today, and even comforted Eunho not to worry too much. Eunho could not add that it was because he wanted to be praised more by Choi Yeorok. He held back his words to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding and just sipped the tea.

“Is there anything else you need?”

“Well….”

Eunho wrapped his warm mug in his hands and hesitated for a long time. Seo Taehwa was inwardly frustrated, wondering what kind of request he was trying to make, but he endured and waited.

“Next Tuesday is my grandma’s death anniversary… can I go for a short visit?”

“Ah… I see.”

Seo Taehwa sighed, he scratched his furrowed brow as if troubled.

“Where is she laid to rest? A grave site or a charnel house?”

“She is in the municipal charnel house.”

“I will ask about it first. But it might be difficult. If it doesn’t work out, don’t be too disheartened.”

“Yes.”

Eunho nodded. As Seo Taehwa said, if it was not possible there was nothing to do. He felt sorry to his grandma, but he could only wait for next year.

‎ ‎

Eunho’s request was delivered to Secretary Hong through Seo Taehwa, and then reported to Yeorok. While working in the office, Yeorok quietly repeated the words he had just heard.

“Death anniversary?”

“Yes. The charnel house is on the outskirts of Seoul.”

“……”

“I checked, they close at five thirty. Since it is operated by the city, it does not seem possible to request extra visiting hours.”

“Then it can’t be helped.”

Yeorok glanced over the documents Secretary Hong handed him and put them into the shredder beside the desk. The paper fed into the machine started breaking into small pieces.

“It is still not the time to go around outside. Missing one death anniversary is not the end of the world. Go tell him it can’t be done.”

“……”

Secretary Hong always followed Yeorok’s orders without complaint, but strangely he did not leave this time. He stood in front of the desk and hesitated.

“Do you have more to say?”

“In fact this is the last time. I mean Sim Eunho-ssi remembering the death anniversary.”

There would be no next year.

One year later, Sim Eunho would be locked up in a mental hospital instead of living as Choi Yoonho.

Yeorok seemed to realize that too, and he stayed silent for a while. He put aside the documents he had been reading and turned his chair to stare at Secretary Hong’s face.

“So, are you saying I should let him go so he can at least say a last goodbye?”

“What I mean is….”

“Even if I let him go, he would not know it is his last time. Would it mean anything?”

“I am sorry.”

Hong Namyeong folded his hands behind his back and lowered his head. He apologized for bringing up something that upset Yeorok’s mood.

“Namyeong-ah.”

“Yes.”

“Why do you think people keep death anniversaries? If someone died, isn’t it over?”

Yeorok asked as if he was genuinely curious. He leaned his head on the chair’s armrest and waited for the answer.

“…Maybe because they miss them.”

“Is it possible to miss them?”

Yeorok also had many death anniversaries to attend. Chairman Choi, his mother, his eldest brother and his sister in law. They were annoying yearly events. If not for people’s eyes, he wanted to drop them all right away.

“…It depends on the person. The more precious someone is, the more you want to see them again.”

“That sounds like you are saying I am a human with no emotions.”