RB 32

Ahn Jaehwan had an unusual talent for drawing out what lay beneath. He loosened defenses with conversations, then asked sudden questions that pierced through gaps.

Eunho fiddled with his watch for no reason. What should he say? Choi Yeorok was not someone he could talk about lightly. It was true that he felt more at ease facing him than before, but the influence Yeorok had on him only grew. It was not easy to define someone like that in a single word, so Eunho only moved his lips.

“The chairman is….”

“Like a swindler?”

“No!”

Eunho jerked his head in alarm. That was a dangerous thing to say. He had never spoken the word swindler aloud…. Though at one point he had made an evaluation with a similar nuance.

Eunho drew in a deep breath that swelled his chest.

“You will tell the chairman what I said, right?”

“Mm… probably.”

Ahn Jaehwan scrunched up his nose with an apologetic smile. Eunho’s shoulders drooped helplessly at that smile, impossible to hate.

“The chairman takes care of me a lot.”

“That is true.”

“Yes. At first it was hard, but now….”

Eunho suddenly closed his mouth and carefully weighed the next words. He could not find the right expression, so he hesitated for a long while.

Ahn Jaehwan propped his chin with clasped hands and waited for Eunho to speak on his own. He was well practiced in listening.

“The time we meet has increased… and he praises me too.”

“Eunho-ssi, you are the type who works harder when praised.”

“Yes, so I also want to repay the chairman for what I received.”

He said the words as if he were bewitched, as though Ahn Jaehwan had secretly used some trick.

“Chairman Choi Yeorok is like a benefactor to me.”

He chose and chose again until he spoke a word that fit. Saying it with his own mouth made him feel as if their relationship had finally been defined.

A benefactor…. Ahn Jaehwan tapped his temple as he muttered.

“So you want to help him, even if it wears you down?”

“Yes.”

“For Chairman Choi Yeorok, you are ready to take on even illegal things, right?”

“Yes.”

Ahn Jaehwan, who had read Eunho’s mind one by one like a fortune teller, suddenly sighed and covered his lower face with both hands.

“Another underling added….”

Ahn Jaehwan himself owed a great debt to Yeorok, so he fully understood Eunho’s feelings. But pity was another matter, and pity shone in his eyes as he looked at Eunho.

“I understand that feeling better than anyone…. But do not ruin your own body. Eunho-ssi, right now you are being worn down.”

“Worn down…?”

“You are working harder than anyone to become Choi Yoonho. If you get too immersed in it, you might end up losing even your own identity. To put it simply… the boundary of your personality could become unclear.”

It was something Eunho had not expected at all. Was he saying that he and Choi Yoonho could become mixed together? But since it came from a psychiatrist, he could not dismiss it lightly.

“But… it would be ‎ good thing if that happens?”

He had thought more than once that to match the perfectionist standards of Choi Yeorok, it might be better to just be possessed by Choi Yoonho.

Ahn Jaehwan pushed up his glasses and sighed briefly.

“Sim Eunho-ssi.”

His said in a gentle voice.

“That is only a good thing for Choi Yeorok.”

“……”

“I understand well enough that you want to repay him and return his grace, but there is a line. If Eunho-ssi completely loses his grip, that will not be good news for Yeorok either. There is nothing more dangerous than someone who cannot control himself.”

Eunho’s face grew darker and darker. Was his situation so serious that it warranted this warning? Unable to find any answer, he only looked desperately at Ahn Jaehwan.

“I will put on the brakes so that Eunho-ssi does not get swallowed by Choi Yoonho. That is also the reason I am here.”

Ahn Jaehwan formally proposed counseling to Eunho. He added that it was already agreed with Seo Taehwa and would not interfere with his schedule. Faced with someone who was looking out for him, Eunho had no grounds to refuse. He accepted the proposal.

Psychiatric counseling was not anything grand. It was simply talking, digging into psychological issues, and giving appropriate advice.

Ahn Jaehwan led Eunho to speak about himself directly. Since all day he had to think only of Choi Yoonho and act like him, for thirty minutes each day he wanted Eunho to focus on himself instead, as a kind of ventilation.

The conversations were mostly trivial. The questions Ahn Jaehwan asked were things like which neighborhood he had lived in for how many years, which high school he had gone to, and what animals he liked. They were things Eunho could answer easily without worry.

The conversation was trivial, but for Sim Eunho those thirty minutes were essential. It was also a way to correct the identity that was wearing down without him even knowing.

“Difficult… Sim Eunho.”

Ahn Jaehwan muttered with his head hanging low. Then he took off his glasses and rubbed his tired face roughly.

“The kid has almost no desire. Like a monk. It feels like his mindset is just ‘I live because I was born.’ He doesn’t want to become anything, doesn’t want to have anything. He doesn’t even have a single preference. It’s like a beef bone soup with no salt, too bland.”

It was unclear whether the unfiltered assessment was a complaint or a lament. Yeorok listened to Ahn Jaehwan’s words and smiled crookedly.

“That is true.”

Ahn Jaehwan sighed and sipped his drink. Reporting everything from the counseling made his conscience ache slightly as a doctor, but it was unavoidable. He covered the stinging feeling with stronger liquor.

Yeorok swirled his glass. Ice clinked around in the irregularly cut glass.

“Sim Eunho’s life isn’t exactly dull, is it?”

“That is why it is even more pitiful.”

Ahn Jaehwan knew something about Eunho’s harsh life story. His life had been so hard there was no joy in it. Desire would have been nothing more than a luxury.

He was only twenty-four. At that age he should have been vigorous, but Sim Eunho had none of it. The true Eunho, when not acting as Choi Yoonho, was powerless like a burnt-out matchstick.

“He said he never once played soccer with friends. Does that even make sense?”

“What’s the problem, I never did either.”

When Yeorok answered without concern, Ahn Jaehwan narrowed his eyes. You didn’t because you were a noble young master, the situation is different, you fool. He wanted to say it out loud, but he only glared at Yeorok instead.

“He said he liked reading. Even his hobby is still. He almost lived in the school library.”

“What else?”

“What?”

“What else does he like?”

Yeorok asked as he lifted his glass to his lips. Unlike his usual self, he asked ‎ question, so Ahn Jaehwan stared at him in surprise.

“Why do you look at me like that?”

“Are you getting attached?”

“Maybe.”

Yeorok admitted. His crookedly smile looked harsh, but strangely his mood seemed good.

“It is admirable how hard he tries. I also like that the results are good. He keeps making me want to give him something, but I need to know what he likes.”

Ahn Jaehwan kept his mouth shut and exhaled loudly through his nose.

“What good is a gift? Just treat him well without weighing and measuring. Don’t let him get ruined.”

Even if he was someone to use and discard, he could not bear to watch Sim Eunho’s mind collapse. It seemed he too had grown attached.

“Sim Eunho’s only drive is getting recognized by you. He is working himself to death for that one thing, so give it to him.”

“You are stating the obvious.”

Yeorok murmured that it was nothing surprising, then put down his glass. He had only wet his lips, so the drink inside was still nearly full.

“Keep watching him. Report anything unusual.”

“You won’t drink more?”

When Yeorok stood first, Ahn Jaehwan looked up blankly at his tall figure. Not even twenty minutes had passed since they started drinking. Even though it had been a long time since they gathered like this, the host looked as though he had done all he came for just by hearing about Sim Eunho.

“I don’t have time to chat idly.”

Yeorok scanned his phone while standing. Even at this late hour, emails had piled up in droves. He went through them with, arranging the priorities of what had to be handled right away.

“If you have more to say, tell Hong Namyeong.”

He spoke as if Hong Namyeong were his substitute.

Funny enough, Hong Namyoung immediately took the seat Yeorok vacated. The way he was willing to play the stand-in, made Ahn Jaehwan exhale in disbelief.

“You are really loyal.”

“Just me? Everyone’s the same?”

Hong Namyeong’s flat reply made Ahn Jaehwan smacked his lips without words. The liquor tasted bitter tonight.

“Add Sim Eunho to Choi Yeorok’s underling list. I didn’t think he would end up pulling even him in.”

Yeorok only laughed at those words. It was the smile of someone who had many subordinates under him.

As he left the study, Seo Taehwa came in. He had just arrived with some cheese and fruit he had gone to fetch.

“Choi Yeorok already left?”

Seo Taehwa set the tray down almost carelessly and then hurried after Yeorok like a dog following its master. Seeing that, Ahn Jaehwan pointed a finger.

“If you look closely, he is the worst one.”