Chapter 55 – This Is What I Can Give You

Xi Yufeng pursed his lips, wearing that expression again, as if he didn’t care what Jiang Ruo thought.

Jiang Ruo, getting no answer, shrugged and tapped on the three dots at the top right corner of his phone screen, then hovered his finger over the word ‘Delete,’ making his intentions clear.

It was then that Xi Yufeng stepped forward, trying to stop him.

However, before he could make a move, the screen changed, showing an incoming call.

Jiang Ruo paused, noticing it was an unknown number, and hung up immediately.

His thumb moved towards the ‘Delete’ button once more, but he didn’t get a chance to press it down as the unknown number called again. Jiang Ruo clicked his tongue and hung up again.

The caller didn’t try again, but the mood for coercion and interrogation had been dampened. Jiang Ruo exited the WeChat interface and glanced at Xi Yufeng helplessly.

As if saying — ‘I’ve given you every chance, do you really have nothing to say?’

Xi Yufeng, however, was preoccupied with the recent ‘harassing calls,’ asking, “Have you been getting calls from unknown numbers often lately?”

Jiang Ruo was speechless.

Forget it.

He was growing accustomed even to feelings of powerlessness. Jiang Ruo thought, no wonder it takes time; if this goes on any longer, I might be able to untangle all my problems through self-reflection.

For the next month, Xi Yufeng would still find time to meet Jiang Ruo, usually sending a message beforehand and waiting downstairs.

Jiang Ruo no longer avoided him. They seldom went out, often occupied with their own affairs inside the house or resting separately.

When they did go out for meals, it was during times when Xi Yufeng was feeling well. His urban investment project was nearing completion, and it wasn’t easy for him to spare time to visit Jiang Ruo.

Jiang Ruo found a new place to live — a two-bedroom apartment in a residential complex in the eastern part of the city. The landlord needed time to clean up, so he planned to move in at the end of the month.

He informed An He about this, giving him the address of the new residence and mentioning that one of the bedrooms was reserved for him.

On the phone, An He laughed cheerfully in agreement. When asked how things were going recently, he mumbled incoherently, only saying that he couldn’t stay in his hometown anymore and might return to Feng City.

Jiang Ruo’s schedule was mostly arranged in Feng City as well, including several ad shoots, magazine cover photos, and a casting audition for Director Xu’s new film.

On the day of the audition, coincidentally, Xi Yufeng had arranged to meet him, so he simply drove him to the audition location.

Jiang Ruo thought it would take at most an hour, but unexpectedly, after seeing Jiang Ruo deliver the performance he wanted, Director Xu had him try out several other scenes on the spot and held discussions. He tweaked some details of the script to make the character fit Jiang Ruo’s inherent traits better.

Although this was tantamount to confirming Jiang Ruo as the lead actor, it delayed them for several hours. By the time Jiang Ruo hurried back to the car, it was almost dark. Xi Yufeng had taken an uncomfortable nap in the car and was looking at documents on his laptop.

Once seated, Jiang Ruo said, “Sorry, I had to try out a few more scenes, which took a bit longer.”

Xi Yufeng closed his laptop and asked, “How did the audition go?”

Jiang Ruo feigned deep thought. “Absolutely secured.”

Xi Yufeng smiled. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

After a while, Xi Yufeng asked, “Does that mean you’ll be busy again?”

Jiang Ruo hesitated, saying, “Is being busy bad? Look at you, you’re also constantly involved in projects and banquets, swamped with work.”

“It’s different; I have no choice,” Xi Yufeng said. “You don’t have to be this busy.”

Jiang Ruo roughly understood why he said that.

Still, he patiently explained, “If I’m not this busy, I won’t have enough exposure, and soon no director will invite me to act, then I’ll just be idle at home.”

“There’s nothing wrong with taking more rest.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, indeed. Then I can wait for you at home with all my heart, instead of you waiting for me in the car for three hours, right?”

Sensing Jiang Ruo’s slightly aggressive tone, Xi Yufeng frowned. “I didn’t mind waiting for you.”

“But you waited impatiently.” Jiang Ruo spoke with double meaning. “This is different from what you envisioned. You thought that as long as you came back to me, I would immediately go back with you. You thought that as long as you were there, I should push aside friends and work, making way solely for you.”

This time, Xi Yufeng didn’t refute it.

It was undeniable that he did have similar thoughts because the old Jiang Ruo’s eyes were filled with him alone, never refusing his requests. Now that the situation had reversed, he was momentarily unable to adapt to the disparity.

Silence spread between them, each harboring hidden pain.

Jiang Ruo looked out the window, feeling inexplicably distressed.

It seemed he had been blindly optimistic. There were many things in this world that remained unsolvable even in the face of time.

After that day, the two hadn’t seen each other for nearly half a month.

Both happened to be busy, and Jiang Ruo treated this as a cooling-off period, throwing himself wholeheartedly into rehearsals for the stage play.

Since they were set to perform next month and Jiang Ruo still had to attend the film festival in Hai City with the cast of “Skin” for promotional purposes, they had to repeatedly speed up the rehearsal schedule to ensure a flawless performance.

That day, rehearsal ended close to ten o’clock in the evening.

In the dressing room, he changed out of his training clothes, grabbed his bag, and was about to leave when his phone rang.

Taking it out, he saw it was Song Shiyun, a friend from his days at the Xinghui Dance Troupe. Ignoring the slight disappointment that welled up within him, he answered cheerfully. “Hello, Sister Song, why did you think to call me today?”

Compared to him, Song Shiyun’s tone on the phone was strangely stiff. “Xiao Jiang, have you recently accepted a musical?”

“Yes, it’s a small world; news travels fast.”

“That troupe knows about your past… After all, everyone knows why you left this circle.”

Hearing this, Jiang Ruo was taken aback.

“Sister Song, don’t you know I was innocent?”

“These are things of the past; I just worry about tarnishing Xinghui’s reputation.”

Jiang Ruo understood. “Sister Song, you can rest assured. When I’m outside, I never mention the Xinghui Dance Troupe, let alone that Peng guy.”

The other side fell silent for a moment before saying, “You’re doing well in the film industry, previously, I assumed you didn’t have acting opportunities, so I introduced you to the troupe.”

“I know, although it didn’t work out, I’m still very grateful.” Jiang Ruo didn’t want to revisit old matters. “Dancing is my profession; if it weren’t for that incident… I wouldn’t have left the stage and sought another path.”

“…Yes, I understand.”

This phone call began mysteriously and disconnected just as oddly.

On the way back, Jiang Ruo’s right eyelid twitched several times, an inexplicable sense of impending danger arose.

He climbed the stairs carefully with his flashlight, and the next day, he paid extra attention to his footing during rehearsal, fearing some kind of accident right before the performance.

It wasn’t until late at night, when everything remained calm and peaceful, that he sighed in relief, thinking it was probably just a false alarm.

However, just as he let his guard down, a figure in the darkness quietly followed Jiang Ruo as he exited the theater’s back door and walked out.

And when he reached a narrow alleyway leading to the main road, the figure suddenly darted out from the bushes beside him.

Jiang Ruo had considered the possibility of meeting Peng Weibin again.

But he didn’t expect it to be at this time, in this place.

Upon confirming that the man before him, who appeared decent but was actually filled with sinister and lecherous vibes, was the culprit who dragged him into the abyss when he had just regained hope for the future, Jiang Ruo involuntarily took a few steps back.

As if provoked by Jiang Ruo’s look of disgust, Peng Weibin suddenly dropped his smile. “So long since we last met, you’re still afraid of me?”

Jiang Ruo furrowed his brows, his gaze cold. “Not afraid of you, just don’t want to puke up dinner from disgust.”

Peng Weibin chuckled. “My little Ruo Ruo, you didn’t use to talk like that. You used to cling to me so much, calling me Senior Brother all the time. Now that you have someone more powerful backing you, you’re ignoring your Senior Brother?”

Jiang Ruo glared at him, saying nothing.

This expression reminded Peng Weibin of the shadow of anger he used to see in him — seemingly fierce, yet lacking real intimidation.

Thus, Peng Weibin leaned in as if observing. “But why did I hear that you’ve already been dumped by your sugar daddy after being played with to the point of boredom? Otherwise, how come you didn’t win that acting competition? Otherwise, why would you need to come to such a remote place to rehearse this obscure musical?”

A chilly autumn wind blew from behind, causing Jiang Ruo to shiver involuntarily.

To be so knowledgeable about his recent movements suggested Peng Weibin had prepared thoroughly before coming.

While staying calm, Jiang Ruo began to observe the surrounding terrain. “What does it have to do with you?”

“How could it not?” Peng Weibin gritted his teeth. “After I got out of prison, I’ve been looking for you. You were either at the film set or the program studio, and I couldn’t get through on the phone. You sure have the air of a big star.”

Jiang Ruo finally understood what the unknown number that kept calling him recently was all about.

His expression darkened. “Turns out it was you.”

Peng Weibin wore a smug expression.

“Just as I said, these lowdown tricks are only something you’d pull off.” Jiang Ruo sneered. “Do you know that harassment can be reported to the police? Are you tired of eating prison food already?”

Peng Weibin’s eyes widened. “You — ”

“The nearest police station is less than three hundred meters away; you sure know how to pick a place.”

After saying this, he took advantage of Peng Weibin’s momentary distraction as he looked around nervously, and Jiang Ruo broke into a run.

He didn’t know where the police station was. At this moment, he couldn’t even determine the direction he had come from. He just ran along the path toward the brightest light.

Although he didn’t know Peng Weibin’s purpose in finding him this time, it was unlikely to be anything good. Although he might be able to fight Peng Weibin if he stayed, he was, after all, a public figure. If he ended up in the news tomorrow…

Tickets for the musical were already sold out, and Director Xu’s film was preparing to start shooting. At this critical juncture…

As Jiang Ruo desperately ran, he couldn’t stop pondering various possibilities.

It was too dark, and the nearest light source was still a distance away. As he crossed a shrubbery, he didn’t watch his step and stumbled over a stone buried in the soil. Jiang Ruo lost his balance and lunged forward abruptly.

Just as he was about to fall, a tall figure darted out from the side, arms spread wide, catching him securely in his embrace.

Smelling the familiar scent, Jiang Ruo’s tensed body relaxed instantly, but his brain buzzed with realization only belatedly.

An ear-splitting, drawn-out noise, mixed with the curses of Peng Weibin being restrained by the police behind him.

Vaguely hearing “you actually set a trap for me” and scoffing “you found a new sugar daddy so quickly”, and questioning “does he know you used to be a whore for hire”.

His entire blood seemed to freeze. Jiang Ruo shook his head, wanting to refute, but suddenly two hands wrapped around his ears from the sides.

As if blocking out those sharp blades that wanted to tear open his wounds, along with the piercing pain.

Yet strangely, gentle comfort could penetrate the impenetrable barrier, reaching every fragile nerve through the eardrums.

Jiang Ruo heard Xi Yufeng say “it’s alright,” and “I’m here.”

An hour later, sitting in the interrogation room, Jiang Ruo, who had finished recounting the events, heard the name from the police officer’s mouth, his expression nearly blank.

“Song Shiyun… she’s my friend and a colleague from the dance troupe I used to be in.” Jiang Ruo asked, “What happened to her?”

The police officer replied, “We still need to investigate the specifics. But according to the evidence provided by the reporter, she had been monitoring your condition and maintaining close contact with Peng Weibin. She told Peng Weibin that you would be rehearsing at the troupe today.”

There was too much information, so Jiang Ruo had to process it piece by piece. “How did you know she was monitoring me all this time?”

“It was provided by the one who reported.”

“So how did you know Peng Weibin would be there at that time?”

“It was also provided by the one who reported.” As he spoke, the two police officers exchanged a glance. “Perhaps someone has been tracking him all along.”

The word “tracking” made Jiang Ruo’s heart jolt for no reason.

He thought about it and decided to confirm, “The one who reported refers to?”

The answer was as expected.

The police officer said, “It’s Mr. Xi outside.”

Leaving the police station, it was nearly midnight.

In the car, Jiang Ruo was still somewhat dazed, hearing someone call his name and slowly turning his head.

Xi Yufeng looked at him for a while, saying, “Song Shiyun hasn’t been arrested yet; she knows your address. Stay at my place for a few days.”

As if a protective mechanism had been activated, it took Jiang Ruo quite a while to understand the meaning of these words.

He felt it was inappropriate, but he couldn’t think of a better solution at the moment.

Also, because he was too tired, he really didn’t want to be disturbed any further. Jiang Ruo thought about it and nodded. “Then I’ll trouble you.”

That night, Jiang Ruo returned to the large penthouse in the city center and slept in the master bedroom under Xi Yufeng’s arrangement.

The indoor heating was sufficient, but Xi Yufeng still bent over to tuck the blanket around him, his palm gently stroking his forehead.

His voice had a settled stability. “Sleep, call me if anything happens; I’m right outside.”

Unfortunately, Jiang Ruo didn’t sleep well.

Perhaps because of the shock, he woke up for no reason shortly after falling asleep and couldn’t fall back asleep after that.

He stared at the ceiling with wide-open eyes, thinking about many things, yet it seemed he wasn’t thinking about anything at all.

As the sky gradually turned pale, faint footsteps approached. Jiang Ruo closed his eyes, but he was still discovered faking sleep.

A dry palm pressed against his forehead for a moment before releasing. He heard Xi Yufeng say, “I’ve taken a leave of absence for you at the dance troupe. Rest well at home these few days.”

Afterwards, the footsteps faded away.

To take care of Jiang Ruo, Xi Yufeng had called Aunt Fang.

When Jiang Ruo pushed the door open and went out, he smelled the aroma of food, pulled by Aunt Fang’s hand to sit down at the dining table, and only a pair of chopsticks were thrust into his hand before he realized and said awkwardly, “I can do it myself.”

Aunt Fang was delighted to see him; her eyes narrowed into a smile. “Xiao Feng only told me this morning that you moved back. I didn’t have time to prepare anything. On the way, I bought a chicken from the supermarket and rushed over anxiously.”

Jiang Ruo was initially stunned and intended to tell Aunt Fang that he hadn’t “moved back,” but Aunt Fang got up and headed to the kitchen after she finished speaking, leaving him no time to speak.

And the feeling of being manipulated by an invisible hand moving forward intensified unprecedentedly after a night’s fermentation.

The uneasy emotions akin to repeating the same mistakes surged to the highest concentration in his bloodstream.

The dimly lit room in the old dormitory building, the cramped backstage of the Xinghui Dance Troupe’s rehearsal hall, and now this golden cage under his feet… Everyone was trying to control him, trying to make him obedient, discarding his self-awareness until he forgot to struggle.

Following the target location, Xi Yufeng found Jiang Ruo standing in front of the wine and cigarette counter at the supermarket entrance, bending over to examine the displayed goods.

Noticing someone, he glanced at Xi Yufeng, straightened up, his eyes devoid of surprise, only saying indifferently, “You’re here.”

Xi Yufeng thought he had just come out for fresh air, but when they got in the car, Jiang Ruo fished out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

“You said you would teach me how to smoke,” he asked. “Can you fulfill that promise now?”

Staring at the cigarette in his hand for a while, Xi Yufeng said, “You’re not suitable for smoking.”

Then he reached out to take it, but Jiang Ruo pulled his hand back faster. In the blink of an eye, he stuffed the cigarettes back into his pocket.

Turning his face towards the window, Jiang Ruo muttered, “Never mind then.”

After all, it wasn’t the first time he had been refused.

After all, countless times, he had been refused entry into his world.

Jiang Ruo, who had been out for less than two hours, was brought back to the luxury mansion in the city center.

The car parked in the garage. Opening the car door, the icy air gushed in, and Jiang Ruo shivered violently, slamming the car door shut with a loud “bang.”

“Let’s stay here.” He said to Xi Yufeng, who was about to get out of the car. “I have a few questions to ask you.”

“Let’s discuss it back home.”

“Aunt Fang is there, you probably don’t want her to hear, right?”

After a brief consideration, Xi Yufeng retracted his hand from the door handle and gestured for the driver to leave.

It wasn’t a topic difficult to broach. Just as Old Liu got out of the car, Jiang Ruo spoke, “Yesterday, how did you know Peng Weibin would be there?”

Xi Yufeng’s answer was straightforward. “I sent people to monitor him.”

“After I confessed what he did?”

“Yes.”

“And what about Song Shiyun?”

“She was investigated as well.”

“Including the other informants on the list?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There was no need. I will protect you well.”

Long after the words fell, Jiang Ruo suddenly laughed.

He was laughing at his own fickleness. If these words had been said to him in the past, they would likely have made his heart race, making him completely devoted to the person who said them.

But now, he only felt disappointed, even somewhat fearful.

“What about me?” Jiang Ruo heard himself ask, “How did you know I was there?”

Clearly a simple question, Xi Yufeng remained silent for a long time.

Obviously sensing something, knowing this question wasn’t just about yesterday, but also today, and many days in the past.

And sometimes, silence is the best answer.

The car was overly quiet, so much so that Jiang Ruo could hear the sound of his heart sinking.

He answered for Xi Yufeng, “Because, you installed a tracker on my phone.”

“I — ”

“Let me guess, you installed it after I was kidnapped by your brother, right?” Jiang Ruo interrupted. “The reason was for my safety, to prevent such incidents from happening again?”

Everything that could be said had been said. Xi Yufeng pursed his lips, admitting somewhat helplessly, “Yes.”

It was also quiet outside the car. Occasionally, a resident would return with their car, the headlights flashing by for a moment before returning to silence.

Jiang Ruo spoke at this moment, “But later, we separated.”

He spoke very slowly, as if afraid that if he spoke a little faster, he would lose his composure: “I thought I was free. Why… why didn’t you tell me? Why, are you still using it to control me?”

At this moment, Jiang Ruo felt, without exaggeration, that the self who once believed he had finally gained freedom, who could stand proudly in the sunlight, was a joke.

Perhaps not expecting the situation to develop this way, a rare look of panic appeared on Xi Yufeng’s face. “I didn’t — ”

And his instinctive denial inadvertently unleashed all the pent-up emotions Jiang Ruo had accumulated for a long time.

“Were you so eager to put me back in the cage?” Jiang Ruo looked at Xi Yufeng with eyes that reflected the ashes of hope after profound disappointment. “Discard me when you don’t want me, catch me back when you do, stuff a few sweets in my mouth, and expect me to forget those hurtful words… fine, I shamelessly came back, and I tried to forget, but what gives you the right — ”

Even as he tried to remain calm, Jiang Ruo choked up at this point, as if swallowing a mouthful of cool air.

His voice trembled involuntarily: “What gives you the right to not allow me to take even a single step into your world, yet demand that I have no secrets before you, that you can see through me completely?”

“This is the freedom you give me, this is the equal love you can give me…”