SLC 34

Early dawn, Mok Seongha opened his eyes to the voice calling him and the hand shaking his shoulder.

“Seongha-ssi. I’m going out for a bit. I’ll be back soon.”

“Where are you going….”

“To get the car. It won’t take even ten minutes.”

“… Okay.”

Mok Seongha closed his eyes again. It felt like not even ten seconds had passed when Kim Jinkyung shook Mok Seongha’s shoulder once more.

“Seongha-ssi. Wake up.”

“ …Let me sleep more.”

He had spent the night almost with his eyes open.

Kim Jinkyung coming to find him was unexpected.

After talking with the chairman, he couldn’t stand the hospital smell, so he stepped out for a moment, and when he came to his senses, he had arrived in front of Kim Jinkyung’s apartment.

He thought about pressing the doorbell but stopped.

‘…At that time, I was actually so scared. I went home that day and cried. …And the eyes… are too yellow. Scary at night, even scarier during the day.’

Did he cry again after going back that day? Since there was blood, he must have cried.

‘If you look attentively, he’s cute! The fur is black and glossy, and… And also…. His eyes are golden, so they shine even during the day, and at night they shine even more, like stars….’

Like stars.

He recalled the desperate lies Kim Jinkyung had spouted in front of the chairman. Even knowing they were lies, while hiding in the bathroom listening, his ears inexplicably tickled, and he had to rub them several times with his front paw.

He might not open the door even if the doorbell was pressed. Because he’s scared.

Mok Seongha squatted in front of the door, reciting one by one in his mind the math formulas he had studied with Kim Jinkyung.

He ruminated over and over on those useless and meaningless things.

The chairman cried. That old man who seemed like not a drop of blood would come out even if stabbed with a knife shed tears, pleading as if he had gone senile.

He got angry at the words that it might be his last request, but he held back. He wasn’t that much of a rotten bastard. No, he had to be.

If you’re human, that’s only natural.

In the end, he nodded at the words the dying old man spat out as his last request. He was weak to his maternal grandfather. Always had been. Even knowing that he disliked his beastly form, he didn’t even feel resentment. Because he’s family. The only one left in the world.

Why does Kim Jinkyung treat him so well when they aren’t related? Is it because Kim Jinkyung is softhearted?

Kim Jinkyung was weak. Full of fear and easily startled. His face would turn pale and he’d tremble over nothing. He even fainted seeing his transformed appearance. Yet every time, he tried to help somehow, which at first was incomprehensible and fascinating.

The fascinating and frail human eventually stopped bothering him. And familiarity made him aware of the lack. The time without Kim Jinkyung started to feel strange.

The moment he saw Kim Jinkyung crouch down clutching his stomach in pain, he only thought was that this one must not die. Even if no problems were found, the pounding sound of his heart refused subside.

He’s so weak, what if he suddenly dies?

In the end, Mok Seongha decided to stay up all night by Kim Jinkyung’s side, who insisted he was fine and refused.

When he suddenly opened his eyes while sleeping in the hospital room, he drew in a breath. The unfamiliar space triggered instinctive tension. Then a he heard a familiar breathing sound. It was Kim Jinkyung.

Kim Jinkyung’s breathing was regular and calm. Inhalations and exhalations connected at appropriate intervals. It was something he learned while sharing a room pretending to be lovers.

He’s probably the only one in the world who knows this.

That thought made him feel strange. Precisely, the muscles of his heart pulled, and his lower abdomen ached. Just like when Kim Jinkyung’s hand touched him.

He got up from his spot and approached the bed where Kim Jinkyung was sleeping. For some reason, he wanted to touch his hand.

He touched the hand of Kim Jinkyung, who was sleeping so soundly he wouldn’t notice if carried away. He gently rubbed the root part of the nail.

‘This part is called the half-moon. It’s called lunula because it’s shaped like a half-moon, and there’s a superstition that the clearer the shape, the healthier you are.’

Kim Jinkyung wanted to teach him everything he knew. Sometimes it was absurdly trivial.

Mok Seongha compared Kim Jinkyung’s nails side by side with his own. He hadn’t told anyone, but sometimes when Kim Jinkyung was sleeping, he had developed a hobby of comparing various parts of his body with his own.

How can a person’s hand look so lewd?

Mok Seongha thought while rubbing Kim Jinkyung’s nails with his fingertips. At that moment, perhaps ticklish, Kim Jinkyung slightly furrowed his brows and turned around. His hand went into the pillow.

What? Give me your hand back.

Mok Seongha reached out for Kim Jinkyung’s hand and took his wrist. He thought he’d toss once more. But Kim Jinkyung just tucked his hand deeper into the pillow. It annoyed him. So he tickled his cheek. At first, it was just to tease. But the soft feeling made Mok Seongha fiddle with the cheek a few more times.

A soft and frail feeling. It was like having his life in the palm of his hand. He strangely liked it, so Mok Seongha stood in the hospital room in the middle of the night, caressing Kim Jinkyung’s cheek and hand all night long.

…I want to touch it again.

Sitting in the empty apartment hallway, Mok Seongha looked down at his empty hand.

‘At that time, I was actually so scared. …And the eyes… are too yellow. Scary at night, even more during the day….’

The words Kim Jinkyung had said began to swirl in his mind. What time is it now? Not daytime, but at least a less scary time.

He had to disappear from here before the sun set.

‘…Seongha-ssi.’

While thinking, Kim Jinkyung came looking for him. He worried if he was in pain. Mol Seongha wasn’t weak, but in front of him, he often wanted to act weak. Kim Jinkyung was so kind-hearted that he wouldn’t ignore a weak animal.

…No place to go.

He didn’t want to go back to the mansion. He didn’t want to return to a house where his grandfather couldn’t come back.

Then Kim Jinkyung took him to the room he had moved into.

Even though it was just the two of them in a house narrower than a snail’s shell, Kim Jinkyung wasn’t scared of him.

Or perhaps, he was barely holding it in.

Kim Jinkyung worried about his meals and paid attention to things like clothes to change into. Those trivial kindnesses always gnawed at his heart. In the end, he couldn’t hold back.

‘…The chairman cried.’

Grandfather was someone who didn’t show emotions. Even after his mother passed away, he never once voiced his longing for his daughter. Because he particularly struggled to look at him on rainy days, Mok Seongha always went out to the glass garden and stayed up all night.

‘Seongha…. I should have raised you more…. But there wasn’t time….’

Not long after pulling out the tube from his neck, grandfather continued in a hoarse voice.

‘I think I have to go now. …How can I leave you behind….’

From the old man’s wrinkled eyes, tears like the sap of a withered tree flowed down.

After spending cold and dark nights, the face of the old man who always came looking for him would come to mind. If he could, he wanted to tear out all the healthy cells from his body and give them to his grandfather.

‘Think of it as my last request, can’t you grant this old man’s one wish….’

Knowing the fundamental reason his grandfather was worried, Mok Seongha eventually nodded. Grandfather was terribly anxious about the young beast that would be left alone in the world.

He had to choose a way to exist as a human. But he didn’t want that.

‘Teacher, I….’

Kim Jinkyung would know the answer. No matter how difficult the problem, he would figure it out after looking at it for just a moment. His white and pretty hands would quickly provide an answer to his question. Mok Seongha looked at his teacher.

‘It’s good that the two of you talked.’

Kim Jinkyung continued calmly.

‘And I’m glad you chose the method that’s best for you too.’

Although a little over a year had passed since fully returning to human form, human life was still full of uncomfortable and awkward things.

He couldn’t tell what his original form was, but everyone said being human was the right choice.

‘Do you think so too? That it’s a good method?’

That day, it was you who said in the garden that it would be good if the rain kept falling.

‘…Yes.’

‘...Alright. What you taught me was always the right answer.’

Kim Jinkyung had never given him a wrong answer. He was a teacher who did his best to find the answer no matter how difficult the problem.

Thinking that he had no choice but to follow his words this time too, he closed his eyes. He heard Kim Jinkyung’s breathing. The narrow room was filled with Kim Jinkyung’s scent. Even after tossing and turning a few times, he couldn’t sleep. He could barely close his eyes around the time the morning sun rose.

“Wake up. We have to go before the traffic gets bad.”

He didn’t feel great about the words that they had to go. He knew it was just for one night, but kicking him out as soon as the morning sun rose was too heartless.

Mok Seongha didn’t answer and pulled the sheet over his head.

“There’s a place to go. Hurry and wash up.”

“…Where?”

Mok Seongha asked from under the blanket.

“Far away.”

It didn’t seem like home. Mok Seongha got up from his spot and folded the sheet. Kim Jinkyung pointed to the cramped bathroom.

“…I can’t wash here.”

“Just wash simply. You’ll get covered in dust anyway.”

He couldn’t tell what they were going to do, but he followed instructions and took a simple shower and washed his face. When he went outside, the car was ready.

“We’re finally using this.”

Kim Jinkyung smiled while pressing the key. The vinyl on the car seats hadn’t even been removed. Mok Seongha deliberately tore off all the vinyl from the passenger seat and sat down.

Kim Jinkyung smiled awkwardly and got into the driver’s seat. Mok Seongha, sitting beside him, tore off the remaining vinyl from the steering wheel and asked.

“Where are we going?”

“To pick apples.”

He didn’t even have the energy to argue what nonsense that was. Mok Seongha leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes.

“Get some sleep. We have to go a bit far.”

‎

‎

He fell asleep quickly. How much time had passed? When he opened his eyes, they were driving on the highway. Mok Seongha looked at Kim Jinkyung in disbelief.

“This is kidnapping.”

“I told Secretary Kang. He even packed a lunchbox.”

Kim Jinkyung pointed to the back seat. He saw a black insulated bag. Mok Seongha stared at Kim Jinkyung for a while, then laughed. He thought the reason he left in the morning was just for the car, but apparently the lunchbox was included too.

“Eat if you’re hungry.”

“Later. I have no appetite.”

The car was filled with the smell of new car vinyl and Kim Jinkyung’s scent. He didn’t want to mix food smells into it. At that moment, his stomach growled.

Kim Jinkyung burst into laughter.

“It really sounds like you have no appetite.”

“…….”

Hearing the words he had said repeated back exactly felt strange. As soon as the first rest area appeared, Kim Jinkyung pulled over.

“Do you want to eat outside? Or in the car?”

Mok Seongha got out without a word and opened the car door. When he sat on an empty bench, Kim Jinkyung asked again.

“What should I get for you?”

Doesn’t he get tired of it? Asking even though he knows he’ll be refused every time.

“Forget it.”

Mok Seongha opened the lunchbox that Secretary Kang had packed. Kim Jinkyung bought a hamburger. After a simple meal, the two hit the road again.

“Get some more sleep. We’ll arrive in an hour, I’ll wake you.”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m in good shape.” Liar.

That night, even though he only used his hands and thighs, he cried buckets saying it was hard.

Mok Seongha turned his gaze away. The sea was visible out the window.

“First time seeing the sea?”

“Yeah.”

Kim Jinkyung rolled down the window for him.

“How is it?”

“Dirty.”

The sea he saw for the first time was murkier than expected and smelled fishy.

Kim Jinkyung quickly rolled the window back up.

“…But the coastal road here is pretty.”

“Really?”

After the disinterested reply, he leaned his head against the headrest. Kim Jinkyung came into view. His hands and arms holding the steering wheel, his profile, his hair.

It was a face he often saw when sitting side by side at the desk during lessons.

Kim Jinkyung drew graphs well. Sine, cosine, tangent. Every time he solved a problem, he put his heart into drawing beautiful curves to explain. Kim Jinkyung’s facial lines were like that too. Lines drawn with care continued from the forehead.

Mok Seongha tilted his neck to look at him.

“…Aren’t you sleeping?”

For some reason, Kim Jinkyung’s heartbeat quickened. At first, when he heard his accelerated heart sound, he thought it was noisy, but lately, it sounded like rain pattering on a window. It was welcoming.

No. I’ve had enough sleep.”

“Look at the sea.”

“It’s boring.”

“…..”

Kim Jinkyung gripped the steering wheel with a flushed face. As he applied force, the half-moon part of his nails became more distinct.

Even his nails look lewd. …What about his toenails? Do they have the same lewd color and shape?

Around the time he was deep in thought about taking off Kim Jinkyung’s socks, the car left the highway and entered a bumpy rural road.

“Where are we going?”

“I told you, to pick apples.”

“Why apples….”

The roadside was permeated with the scent of apples. Apple trees stretched endlessly. Mok Seongha inhaled with a “ha.”

“Even if I like apples, it’s not like I like them enough to come all the way here to pick and eat them straight from the tree.”

“You can’t eat them now.”

Kim Jinkyung continued with wide eyes.

“They aren’t ripe yet. They ship out in September.”

Then why the hell did we come to this rural backwater? He was about to ask when Kim Jinkyung parked the car in front of a yard.

Hearing the car, someone came out of the house.

“Who’s this? Isn’t it Jinkyung?”

“Hello.”

“What? I heard you went to Seoul, looks like you made it big.”

The old man made a fuss looking at the car Kim Jinkyung arrived in. Kim Jinkyung shook his head.

“It’s a friend’s car. I’m just driving it for a bit. Where are my parents?”

At the mention of “parents,” Mok Seongha, who had gotten out of the car, looked around.

“They’re out in the fields. I just stopped by to rest while passing nearby.”

“Then rest and go.”

Kim Jinkyung bowed politely.

It was surprising that he wasn’t fazed by someone who wasn’t family coming out of his house. He went inside and brought out two hats.

“Use these.”

“Why?”

“The sun is hot.”

“Don’t want to.”

Kim Jinkyung didn’t insist further, put on the hat himself, and beckoned to Mok Seongha.

“Come this way.”

“…….”

He couldn’t understand why Kim Jinkyung had brought him to this place full of manure smell, but Mok Seongha followed silently behind him.

After walking a long way through the endless apple trees, Mok Seongha called out to stop Kim Jinkyung.

“Hey.”

“Yes?”

“Why the hell are we here?”

“To thin the fruits.”

“What’s thinning?”

Kim Jinkyung brought a large plastic box from somewhere. Inside were work gloves and pruning shears.

“It’s the task of removing useless apples.”

“So why do I….”

He was about to argue why he had to do this when someone greeted Kim Jinkyung again.

“Isn’t that Jinkyung? Oh my, long time no see. Still so pretty and handsome.”

“Hello.”

“Your mom is over there right now.”

“I’ll go greet her later.”

“Who’s that one?”

“My friend.”

Kim Jinkyung introduced Mok Seongha, who bowed his head.