SLC 49

“Ah… Haa… Just a moment…”

“Just a little longer…”

Mok Seongha replied, his lips suctioning back against Jinkyung’s the second they pulled away.

This was not the plan. Jinkyung wanted to comfort him with polite, formal grace and then finish his visit.

…Until Mok Seongha lunged at him for a kiss like a man who had finally found an oasis after three days in the desert.

“You can’t do this.”

Jinkyung pushed him back. Someone might see them, even in this secluded corner of a park near the hospital.

“Why? You said I could do these things in this form.”

Mok Seongha used that bizarre logic again. At times, he tried to apply information exactly as it had been programmed into him. He acted like a malfunctioning computer.

“That’s not what I meant….”

Jinkyung pried the large cat of a man off his neck.

“Is everything alright?”

“My grandfather? I told you. He’s sleeping because of the medication. His blood pressure stabilized.”

“…What about you, Seongha-ssi?”

“Me? What about me?”

“I imagine meals and sleeping arrangements are uncomfortable at the hospital…”

“Hey.”

Mok Seongha leaned down slightly to meet his eyes.

“That studio apartment of yours is just as cramped as a snail shell.”

“I feel like I can breathe again just by seeing your face.”

Jinkyung’s face turned bright red.

Mok Seongha had started saying things like that quite casually lately. Each time it happened, Jinkyung looked down and waited for his heart to calm down, unsure how to respond.

“…Your heartbeat.”

Mok Seongha placed a hand over Jinkyung’s chest, perhaps hearing the rapid thumping. A ticklish sensation traveled all the way down to Jinkyung’s toes, and he stepped back. His overflowing affection would certainly become obvious if he stayed this close.

“Ah, wait. I have something for you.”

“What is it?”

Jinkyung pulled a small bouquet from his bag. He had bought the flowers in a rush at a shop he saw before arriving at the hospital.

“What’s this?”

The bouquet was smaller than a palm. He had chosen the smallest one because a large arrangement was inappropriate for the situation.

“Flowers.”

“I know, but why are you giving them to me?”

Mok Seongha asked while turning the bouquet this way and that.

“You like them. I mean you like looking at flowers.”

Mok Seongha possessed acute senses of hearing and smell. Ordinary things in the world often felt like sensory assaults to him.

The hospital was bound to be an exhausting place for him in many ways. When Jinkyung saw the flower shop sign from the bus, he remembered the one place that always gave the man true peace.

“I like flowers?”

Mok Seongha looked as if he were hearing this for the first time.

“You go to the garden so often…”

He always spent rainy nights in the glass garden. Jinkyung had seen him many times, just staring at the blossoms and letting time pass.

“Ah. That.”

Mok Seongha sniffed the flowers and slightly frowned.

“I just didn’t have a good place to hide.”

“…….”

“The Chairman found it particularly uncomfortable to look at me on rainy days. So I went outside. The garden at that house just happens to be surrounded by flowers.”

This was news to Jinkyung. His heart, which had lightened at the thought of a simple gift, felt heavy as a stone.

“I heard my mother planted them.”

“Pardon?”

“Those flowers. She supposedly planted them for me so I could get used to various scents.”

Jinkyung had heard a whisper of this before. But hadn’t the man said he had no memories from before the age of five? If so, when did his mother plant them?

“So I’m just used to them. It isn’t that I like them.”

Mok Seongha toyed with the bouquet.

“To be precise, I like the garden itself, not these specific flowers.”

“…Ah, I see. The garden.”

Jinkyung echoed his words and realized he knew nothing about this man. He felt sorry.

“What’s that, though?”

Mok Seongha pointed at Jinkyung’s bag. A heap of snacks bought from a convenience store was visible through the partially open zipper.

“It’s nothing.”

Jinkyung quickly zipped the bag shut. He had bought them just in case, even though he knew the man refused food from others. He had hoped to offer one if the mood was right. However, the talk about the flowers, he lost the courage to hand them over.

Just as a pensive Mok Seongha opened his mouth to speak, his phone rang. It was Secretary Kang.

“Wait a moment.”

Mok Seongha asked for understanding and walked a short distance away to take the call. Jinkyung sighed and sat down on a bench.

How pathetic. I don’t even know what the person I like actually enjoys. …I wish he had a long list of things he liked.

Jinkyung stared at the back of Mok Seongha as he talked on the phone.

A sensation against his foot made him turn his head. A child of about six or seven was looking up at him. The boy wore a patient’s gown and had a cast on one arm, apparently out for a brief walk.

“Hello.”

Jinkyung greeted him with a smile. The boy stared for a moment before saying hello back.

“How old are you?”

The child held up seven fingers. He had to clumsily bend his fingers on his cast-covered hand, which made Jinkyung feel a mix of pity and pride.

“Wow. That’s impressive. Seven years old and you even have a cast.”

“I’m the only one in my kindergarten with one.”

The boy’s defenses lowered enough for him to answer.

“I see. You should brag about it when you go back. Tell them you’ve even tried having a cast.”

“Yes. But why are you at the hospital, Hyung? Are you sick?”

“Ah, I’m not here because I’m sick. I came for a visit.”

“What’s a visit?”

“It’s when you go to see someone who is in the hospital to wish them a fast recovery.”

“Oh, my aunt and grandmother came too. My aunt lives in Daejeon, and my grandmother is over seventy years old.”

The child prattled on excitedly with details Jinkyung hadn’t even asked for. Soon, a man who appeared to be the father rushed over in a panic.

“I am so sorry. I looked away for just a second. When did you even come over here?”

“I told you I was coming here while you were on the phone, Dad.”

“Oh, dear. You little… I’m very sorry, sir.”

The man apologized to Jinkyung repeatedly.

“No, it’s alright.”

“Say goodbye, let’s go.”

The man pulled on the boy’s hand. Suddenly, Jinkyung remembered the bag full of snacks.

“Wait a moment, please.”

Jinkyung stopped the child and opened his bag.

“If it’s okay with you, would you like to pick one and take it?”

The boy’s eyes went wide as Jinkyung asked the father for permission.

“Oh, thank you. Just pick one. Only one.”

“Yes!”

The child excitedly grabbed a bag of chips.

“You can take more.”

“No, this is plenty. Thank you. Hurry up and say thank you to the handsome Hyung.”

“Thank you!”

The boy bowed.

“Get well soon.”

Jinkyung waved his hand. The child waved back and continued to wave as he walked away.

“Cute.”

The word escaped his lips in a soft, unconscious smile.

“Who is?”

“Ack!”

The sudden voice made Jinkyung jump. He turned around.

“Who’s cute?”

Mok Seongha stood right behind him, apparently finished with his call. He glared at the retreating back of the child as he asked.

“Oh, a little boy just spoke to me for a second.”

“Who? How do you know him? Since when? Did you give birth to him?”

Jinkyung’s eyes widened at the sudden barrage of questions.

“What do you mean ‘did I give birth to him’? How could I possibly…”

“How would I know if you liked women for a brief time?”

“I have never done that.”

His preference had never wavered for even a single moment.

“Then is that guy your type? He looked ugly enough to be your type.”

“What are you saying? That was the child’s father.”

“What were you talking to the father about for so long?”

Jinkyung sighed and opened his bag.

“I had some snacks, so I shared one.”

The look in Mok Seongha’s eyes grew even more fierce when he saw the food.

“What about mine?”

“Pardon?”

“Why don’t I get any?”

“…You don’t eat these.”

“Hand them over even if I don’t eat them.”

“…….”

Jinkyung hesitated but eventually held out the bag.

“Pick whatever you like.”

Mok Seongha stared at the snacks for a while before he picked out a chocolate bar.

“Oh, that one is mine. Please pick something else.”

“You gave me this before.”

Jinkyung recalled his past attempts to get fired by doing things Mok Seongha would hate. A bitter memory of the man throwing the chocolate back and telling him to eat it himself surfaced. It felt like a very long time ago, even though it had only been a few weeks.

“Can you eat chocolate?”

“Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”

Mok Seongha looked at him as if he were talking nonsense. Jinkyung trailed off, unable to find the words.

“Why?”

Mok Seongha poked Jinkyung’s shoulder with the chocolate bar to demand an answer.

“…Cats aren’t supposed to eat chocolate.”

Mok Seongha let out a short laugh.

“You gave me chocolate knowing that?”

Jinkyung had no excuse. Back then, getting fired was his only goal in life.

“You’re a bad teacher.”

Mok Seongha sat down beside him and criticized him. Jinkyung apologized in a tiny voice.

“Drink this.”

Mok Seongha handed him a bottle of water. He must have bought it from a vending machine during his phone call.

“…Thank you.”

Feeling guilty, Jinkyung twisted the cap off the bottle with a dejected air.

“Why did you buy so many snacks?”

In response to Mok Seongha’s question, Jinkyung lowered the water bottle and swallowed before he replied.

“I just picked out a bunch of different things because I didn’t know what you liked. Is there anything in particular that you prefer?”

Jinkyung decided to use this opportunity to investigate the other man’s tastes.

“Me? What I like?”

Mok Seongha’s gaze fell upon Jinkyung’s hand. Jinkyung noticed the stare and held his hand up.

“My hand?”

“Yeah. That.”

It was a plain, unremarkable hand. Jinkyung felt a wave of embarrassment and shoved it into his pocket.

“Don’t put it away. Take it out.”

Mok Seongha’s authoritative voice made Jinkyung’s fingertips tremble inside his pocket.

“Give it here.”

When Jinkyung did not move, Mok Seongha reached into the pocket himself and pulled the hand out. His eyes remained fixed on it.

Jinkyung’s mouth felt dry and his throat grew itchy. It felt as though he had swallowed a mouthful of dandelion fluff. He took another drink of the cold water, but the heat in his throat refused to subside.

“…What about my hand?”

Jinkyung mustered the courage to ask after another sip. Mok Seongha began to stare at the hand intensely once more. Overwhelmed by self consciousness, Jinkyung quickly pressed the water bottle back to his lips.

“It looks lewd.”

“……!”

Jinkyung sprayed the water everywhere.

“Ah, gross.”

Mok Seongha frowned and brushed the droplets off his clothes.

“I’m sorry. You surprised me…”

“Is this the first time you’ve heard that? Why are you so shocked?”

“What? Me? No, my hand?”

Jinkyung could not close his mouth. He could swear on his life that he had never heard anything even remotely similar to his hands being “lewd” before.

“Yeah. Fuck, it’s so goddamn lewd.”

Mok Seongha muttered the words while glaring at Jinkyung’s hand.

“It’s just a normal hand.”

Mok Seongha grabbed Jinkyung’s hand.

“Look. Even the color of the nails.”

Jinkyung checked his fingernails immediately to see if he had somehow painted them in his sleep.

…They were the same as always. They were the clean, trimmed, and ordinary nails of a man.

“The half-moons, the color… even your fingers look promiscuous. How can a person’s hand look like this?”

Mok Seongha glared at the hand with the hunger of someone about to devour it.

“I feel like I’m going to get hard just by looking at it.”

A prominent bulge already strained against the front of his pants.

“Wh-what on earth are you saying?”

Jinkyung balled his hand into a fist out of embarrassment. He did not want to hear another word about his “promiscuous” hand. Mok Seongha responded by forcing his own fingers between Jinkyung’s, interlacing them tightly.

“That’s not all. Your palm is promiscuous too. I feel like I’d burst just by rubbing my cock against it.”

Jinkyung gasped at the vulgar word and looked around in a panic.

“No one is here,” Mok Seongha said with a nonchalant face.

“You shouldn’t use words like that.”

“Then what should I call it? Dick? Penis? Choose a word you like, Teacher. I’ll use that one instead.”

The terminology lesson that started with “cock” and ended with “penis” made Jinkyung’s ears turn bright red.

“You shouldn’t say any of those words outside.”

“Shall we go inside then? Into that bathroom over there?”

Mok Seongha pointed toward the public restroom in the park.

“No.”

Jinkyung turned pale and shook his head. Mok Seongha laughed and kissed the back of his hand. His golden eyes shimmered with amusement.

“Please, stop joking around.”

Jinkyung pleaded desperately. He felt like he might actually die. He worried his heart would explode at this rate.

“I’m not joking. Your hand really does look lewd. I can’t even come without your hand anymore, Teacher.”

Mok Seongha spread Jinkyung’s fingers apart, slid his own fingers between them, and began to rub back and forth slowly. The movement mimicked the act of sex. Jinkyung bit his lower lip. The sensation of the friction against the gaps of his fingers made his stomach tingle.

“Teacher.”

“…Yes?”

“I have to go now. My grandfather opened his eyes.”

The previous call from Secretary Kang must have been about that.

“Then get up quickly. You should hurry over.”

Jinkyung stood up from the bench. However, Mok Seongha pulled on his hand and looked up at him.

“Let’s hold hands for three more minutes. No, five minutes.”

“…….”

“I feel like I’ll transform in the hospital if I don’t do this.”

“…Understood.”

It was a stretch. No hypothesis had ever suggested that holding hands influenced his transformations.

Jinkyung had been shocked by the uniqueness of Mok Seongha’s golden eyes when they first met. Such eyes were unheard of among East Asians. Now, however, that singular trait only made the man look lonely. It felt as if the moon in the sky were clinging to him. Jinkyung sat back down beside him.

The weight of the large man rested fully on his shoulder.

The lukewarm air of late summer tickled his neck.