SSD 66. The Team Leader and the Power Forward

When Xu Fanming came out of the restroom, he wandered around the corridor for quite a while and still didn’t see a trace of Fang Ruihan.

He pulled out his phone to make a call, but before he could even dial, another call came in right on cue. It was from Zhu Xuyao.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Zhu Xuyao at all in the two days since the game. What had he been up to?

“Huh?”

“Fan-daddy!” As soon as he picked up, he heard Zhu Xuyao’s voice, a little breathless and more than a little panicked. “Where are you? Come drink with me, my treat, hurry up!”

“I don’t drink,” Xu Fanming frowned. “What’s going on with you? You drunk already?”

“Fuck, I’m dying here. You have to save me!”

Xu Fanming stared at his phone, completely baffled. He thought Zhu Xuyao was just messing around again and was about to snap at him, but Zhu Xuyao suddenly launched into a long string of rushed, half-coherent words. His voice was shaky, almost tearful, and he actually sounded kind of pitiful.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Now Xu Fanming was starting to get nervous. “What happened? Talk slower!”

Zhu Xuyao kept rambling on the other end, but in the mess of slurred words, Xu Fanming only caught two clear syllables. Pan Yuan.

He knew then it was serious.

He didn’t even have time to say goodbye to Fang Ruihan. He just shot him a quick message on WeChat. Fang Ruihan replied almost instantly, telling him okay, and to be careful.

By the time he reached the location Zhu Xuyao had sent, that guy was already drinking. Several empty beer bottles were scattered at his feet, and his face was flushed red.

Xu Fanming frowned. He hadn’t even gotten close before the heavy stench of alcohol made him grimace. “Hey, what the hell’s going on with you?”

Zhu Xuyao barely registered the familiar voice. When he turned and saw it was Xu Fanming, his entire expression collapsed. His voice cracked as he croaked, “Fan-daddy…”

Just a few steps in, Xu Fanming was suddenly grabbed. Zhu Xuyao threw his arm around his neck, leaned in close, and breathed straight into his face, reeking of booze. “Yuan… Yuanyuan…”

Xu Fanming lost it. He smacked him across the face in disgust. “Stop wasting my time. Just tell me what happened. What happened to Senior Pan?”

Zhu Xuyao clutched his beer bottle and, after getting snapped at, suddenly started trembling and sobbing.

He slammed his head down on the table. “She hit me… your senior hit me…”

His pathetic state quickly drew attention. A few people in the bar were already whispering and pointing. Xu Fanming frowned and sat down across from him. “Seriously? You’re breaking down over that? Getting hit by a girl doesn’t even hurt.”

“It’s not the same. It’s not the same.”

Zhu Xuyao’s dazed mumbling made Xu Fanming narrow his eyes. “What exactly isn’t the same?”

“We had lunch together today and then I… hic.”

Xu Fanming nearly snapped again. The man was talking, then suddenly hiccuping mid-sentence. It was infuriating.

“I asked her if she’d be my girlfriend…”

“Fuck.” Xu Fanming’s eyes widened, and he instinctively tightened his grip on the glass in front of him. “You actually said that? That’s… damn.”

“I said it. And then she said no. I panicked and kept pressing her, asking why…” Zhu Xuyao’s eyes were red, and his voice had gone hoarse. He suddenly jerked upright and started slapping himself hard across the face. “It’s all my fault. I was being stupid. Why the hell did I say that? I’m so fucking stupid.”

He smacked himself with every curse. His right cheek was already turning red. Xu Fanming grabbed his hand, hesitated for a second, and said, “Wait. Calm down and talk. What exactly happened?”

“I lost it. I said a bunch of awful things. She slapped me and walked away. And now I really regret it…” Zhu Xuyao looked at him, eyes red and wet. “Can you understand how I feel? Fanfan, I really feel terrible. I didn’t think she’d turn me down. I couldn’t handle it. I got scared…”

Xu Fanming blinked. “What exactly did you say?”

“I said… I thought she liked me too, so why would she say no. I asked if she was just stringing me along. I said maybe she was disappointed in me after the game, but even if we lost, I didn’t want it to end like that. I said if she didn’t want me, I wouldn’t wait anymore, that I had other girls chasing me anyway…” Zhu Xuyao broke into tears again. “Fuck, I’m such a fucking asshole. Why the hell did I say all that? I ruined it. I fucking ruined everything. If Yuanyuan really leaves me… I’ll never forgive myself for the rest of my life…”

Xu Fanming let out a sigh. Zhu Xuyao was crying so miserably it made him feel bad too. He got up and gave him a few comforting pats on the shoulder. “You’re seriously unbelievable. You had all this time and didn’t say anything, and now you suddenly blurt it out like a starving wolf pouncing on dry firewood? If I were Senior Pan, I’d have slapped you too.”

“I don’t blame her for hitting me. I really don’t. I want to hit myself.” Zhu Xuyao lifted his eyes, swollen like two walnuts. “She was so angry today. I’ve never seen her like that. The moment she slapped me, I sobered up. But once I was sober, I wished I were still confused. Because when she turned and ran off, I didn’t even have the courage to lift a foot and go after her.”

Xu Fanming was stunned. That whole sentence was so roundabout and convoluted that it nearly tied his brain in knots. He tried to make sense of it for a while but still couldn’t figure out what Zhu Xuyao was trying to say. In the end, he gave up and shook his head. “I don’t get it.” Then he added, “But it’s obvious she’s mad. So just go apologize.”

“Apologize?” Zhu Xuyao hugged the beer bottle and gave a bitter smile through his tears. “It’s no use. It’s already too late. It’s all over.”

“You haven’t even tried. Doing something is better than just sitting here and making her even angrier.”

But Zhu Xuyao kept shaking his head. Every now and then he let out a weird little laugh, but the tears kept pouring down.

“No, it’s not that. I know she’s hurting too. During that game, when we were falling behind the whole time and the boss got hurt, I know how anxious she must have felt. She’s been managing Qinghuo for two years now. She cares too much.” Zhu Xuyao buried his face in the crook of his arm, his voice thick with drink. “And even though I knew all that, I still hurt her. I lost the game, I was already in a bad mood, and I didn’t expect her to push me away like that. I panicked. I dumped all my frustration on her. How could I do something like that? Fuck, I really don’t deserve to be a person.”

By the end, his words were slurred beyond recognition. Xu Fanming didn’t fully understand what he was trying to say, but he didn’t know how to comfort him either. So he stayed and kept him company, drinking quietly at his side. Every time Zhu Xuyao took a drink, he drank one with him. They stopped talking after a while and just kept drinking in silence. Eventually, when neither of them could handle any more, they caught a cab back to campus together.

After dropping Zhu Xuyao off, Xu Fanming wandered back to the dorms alone, still shaking his head. He couldn’t understand it. What had gotten into Zhu Xuyao that made him suddenly lose it and throw all that nonsense at her?

For the next few days, Zhu Xuyao was nowhere to be seen. Xu Fanming thought about checking in and asking how things had turned out, but then remembered he didn’t really understand this kind of thing anyway. It wasn’t like he could actually help. And besides, when it came to personal feelings, the more people got involved, the messier it became.

So Xu Fanming gave up trying to ask.

Just like that, life returned to its usual rhythm, as if the provincial tournament had already ended. Xu Fanming went to class with his backpack like always, ate at the cafeteria at noon, practiced in the afternoons, and occasionally went for a run at night.

Time slowly scattered all the leftover emotions.

The date for the team meeting still hadn’t been set, but the round-robin had officially come to a close.

Thinking about it now, it really was a bit emotional. Four wins in a row, riding the momentum all the way through, only to lose the final match. And not just lose, but completely crushed.

With the regular season finished, there would be a window of nearly half a month before the playoffs began, followed by the final between the top teams from each division. At this point, with their current record, making it into the playoffs wasn’t going to be a problem.

So how should they spend the next two weeks?

Sigh… they’d figure it out one step at a time.

That afternoon, Xu Fanming found himself in a major course he’d never really cared for. He picked a seat in the last row of the big lecture hall, tucked himself away in a quiet corner, and laid his head down on the desk, planning to nap through it.

But just as he was drifting off, he suddenly felt someone lightly scratching at his ear with a fingernail.

He thought he was imagining it and didn’t move. A few seconds later, a low whisper brushed past his ear.

“Fan~fan~~”

Fuck.

Xu Fanming shot upright like he’d been shocked, goosebumps rising all over his arms. He Jiang pressed a finger to his lips and grinned as he whispered, “Shh. Don’t let the teacher notice.”

“What the hell are you doing,” Xu Fanming hissed under his breath. “Why are you here?”

“To sit in class with you.”

Xu Fanming stared at him. “You, why didn’t you ask me first?”

“I did.” He Jiang shrugged with an innocent expression. “You just never read the messages I sent you.”

Xu Fanming pulled out his phone. There was a new message sitting unread.

“Fine… even if that’s true, you should go back. I’ve got three more periods after this.”

“No problem. I’ve got the whole day off.”

Who cares if you have class or not? Xu Fanming kept glancing nervously at the front of the room. This was their major course. “Why do you have to tag along?”

He Jiang leaned in closer. “I want to take you out for dinner. And afterward… we can go to my place and watch a movie.”

Just hearing He Jiang bring up that rental apartment made a few not-so-innocent memories pop into Xu Fanming’s head. His face went red, and whatever confidence he had instantly crumbled.

“I’m not going…”

He Jiang chuckled and was about to say something when the lecturer on the podium suddenly raised their voice.

“You in the last row, the tall one in the orange T-shirt, stand up and answer this question.”

The students in the front rows all turned around to get a look at the poor guy who’d just been singled out. When they saw He Jiang, their faces filled with confusion. It didn’t seem like he was in their class at all.

Xu Fanming turned away with a scowl, silently insisting he had nothing to do with this idiot.

He Jiang let out a sigh and stood up.
“Aerosol particles, also known as atmospheric particles, are classified into three categories based on size: Aitken nuclei, large nuclei, and giant nuclei.”

The teacher raised an eyebrow in surprise and gave a small clap. “Correct. Alright, you may sit down.”

As He Jiang sat back down, Xu Fanming turned his head quickly, one eye peeking out from behind his elbow in disbelief.
“How do you even know that?”

“I’m well-read.”

Xu Fanming blinked. “Bullshit.”

He Jiang just smiled and stayed quiet for the rest of the lecture, sitting quietly beside Xu Fanming. It didn’t take long before Xu Fanming gave in to his sleepiness and fell asleep face-down on the desk, leaving behind a small puddle of drool. He Jiang took a picture with his phone, saved it to a private folder, and even set a lock on it so no one else could see.

After class, He Jiang said he was treating Xu Fanming to grilled meat. Tempted, and with his stomach already rumbling, Xu Fanming gave in.

At the barbecue place, He Jiang patiently flipped the slices of meat with the tongs while Xu Fanming sat across from him eating spoonfuls of beef over rice, still looking half-asleep. It wasn’t peak mealtime yet, so the restaurant was quiet, and the only person at the counter was a server playing on their phone.

When they finished eating, He Jiang suggested going for a walk to help digest. Xu Fanming immediately declined.

Seeing how firm he was, He Jiang sighed and let it go. But then Xu Fanming surprised him by asking, “He Jiang… have you practiced at all these past few days?”

“Hm?” He Jiang said. “No. Why?”

Xu Fanming hesitated, then lifted his head.
“Let’s go to the gym and shoot around.”

He Jiang blinked. “Right now? We just ate. That’s not gonna sit well.”

Xu Fanming lowered his head again, looking troubled. After a moment, he backed down.
“Yeah… forget it. Let’s rest a few more days.”

He Jiang gave him a small smile. “Been feeling off lately?”

Xu Fanming didn’t reply.

“Sometimes it helps to stop and focus on studying something directly. You might improve faster that way,” He Jiang said. “Want to come to my place and watch some NBA? We can analyze the fancier plays.”

“Why do we have to go to your place to watch NBA?”

“Because I have the SVIP sports channel.”

“…”

“Full game replays with commentary. In Chinese.”

“…”