SWHCBB 18
by LiliumChapter 18: You Are the Reason I Live
The horse was tied to a tree, and the two of them strolled hand-in-hand along Xiang Lake, minds at ease, whispering to each other.
Jiang Chuang talked about the amusing things from his childhood before he went to war. “Don’t be fooled—I was only thirteen then, but I could harvest three mu of land by myself! I was stronger than half the grown men in the village! You have no idea how many grandpas and uncles wanted to marry their daughters to me!”
He couldn’t help showing off before his little husband, proudly flaunting his capability.
Wen Jue responded in an even tone, “That’s the age for betrothals. Did you get engaged back then?”
This wasn’t the reaction he expected. Usually, Zhiyu’s eyes would light up with admiration, saying things like: “Husband is amazing!”
Wait, could he be jealous?
Jiang Chuang pressed his lips to suppress a grin, trying to appear calm while quickly playing the good husband: “Of course not! If I’d been engaged, how could I have married the Fifth Prince, who’s like an immortal descended to earth?”
But Wen Jue still felt uneasy. He stopped walking and asked, “So if you had been engaged, you would have defied the imperial decree rather than marry me?”
This time Jiang Chuang really couldn’t hold back a laugh. He nodded earnestly, “Absolutely!”
Wen Jue pressed his lips together but didn’t reply.
Jiang Chuang went on slowly, “That’s the kind of man I am. My heart only has room for one person. Once I’ve chosen someone, even death won’t change it.”
Wen Jue’s tightly clenched heart slowly began to relax. He heard the deeper meaning behind Jiang Chuang’s teasing words. How could he not know that this was Jiang Chuang’s way of earnestly laying bare his heart?
Jiang Chuang continued, “My parents loved each other their whole lives. That’s the happiest kind of relationship I’ve ever seen. Even though the storybooks say a man changes once he gains power, I still believe it. Even if my father had become powerful, he would never have wronged my mother, let alone take a concubine.”
His mother used to tell him, if it weren’t out of sheer necessity, what woman would ever want to share her husband?
Back then, Jiang Chuang hadn’t fully understood, but imagining it now, he knew, he wouldn’t want anyone stealing his father’s attention either.
His mother had also said: “Yunchuan, one day you’ll take a wife too. Treat her with love and sincerity. Build a life together with your whole heart—that’s the best kind of life. A peaceful home leads to all things thriving.”
Even though his “wife” turned out to be a man, it didn’t change a thing.
Jiang Chuang plucked a little yellow wildflower and tucked it behind Wen Jue’s ear. Wen Jue touched it gently and asked, his eyes curving into a smile, “Does it look good?”
“Very good! It’s a common yellow flower, but it goes perfectly with the light green robe you’re wearing today.”
Jiang Chuang tucked a stray strand of hair behind Wen Jue’s ear and continued, “I’m like my father. My heart only holds one person. You’re already there. Even if the Emperor ordered me to marry someone else, I’d rather die than obey.”
Wen Jue realized he could no longer distinguish truth from falsehood in Jiang Chuang’s voice or tone. Were his words sincere? Pretending? Or a mix of both?
If only I could see… he thought. Then I’d know what Jiang Chuang’s face looked like when he said those things. Was he looking at me the whole time? Were there schemes behind those eyes?
Jiang Chuang was looking at him, eyes fixed on him as he continued, “I used to be clueless about love. Never thought about it. Later, in the army, I saw things that challenged everything I believed. I couldn’t accept it, so I kept my distance. Zhiyu, I…”
Wen Jue’s heart skipped. He tilted his head up. “You what?”
Jiang Chuang cleared his throat, ears turning slightly red. “Before you, I’d never been with anyone. Other than some theoretical reading and some solo practice… I’ve only had you, so you…”
Wen Jue smiled despite himself. “So I what?”
“You can’t look for anyone else. You have to be devoted to me. I won’t take a concubine either. I’ll be devoted only to you, alright?” Jiang Chuang sought a promise from him. Once Zhiyu promised, he would never break it. If he couldn’t promise, he’d change the subject—but never make empty vows.
And after what Princess Chenyu had said, Jiang Chuang was genuinely worried. He knew—if she said she’d find someone else for Wen Jue, she would do it. He had to cut off that risk at the root.
Always be prepared.
Wen Jue was surprised, amused even. But when it came to loyalty, he felt a flicker of guilt. If Yunchuan found out that his marriage had an ulterior motive, he’d be furious, he might even regret ever making this promise.
Thinking of that, Wen Jue only dared to agree to one thing. “I won’t look for anyone else. They’re… not as good as you.”
As he said it, Wen Jue’s eyelashes trembled. In the past, he could say sweet words to Jiang Chuang without blinking. But now, even saying something this simple made his face heat.
Jiang Chuang bent down to meet his gaze, smiling gently. Wen Jue had no idea his fluttering breath had given away how flustered he was, and tried to stay composed. “Wh-what is it?”
He’s too cute!
Jiang Chuang thought, heart full, and then purposefully teased him, “What’s so good about me anyway? I was terrible on our wedding night, I wore you out!”
That only made Wen Jue more flustered. Sensing Jiang Chuang’s gaze on him, he lowered his eyes and muttered, “That was because you were drugged… It wasn’t your intention. I don’t blame you.”
Jiang Chuang’s smile deepened. If this were the Wen Jue from the last life, before he’d stripped off his mask; he would’ve pulled Jiang Chuang’s hand to his waist and said, “My waist still hurts, husband, rub it for me.”
Jiang Chuang nodded solemnly, “It’s all the fault of the one who drugged me. What a villain! But I should also thank them—without that, I wouldn’t have dared touch you, let alone discover your… other side.”
Clever as ever, Wen Jue instantly understood what he meant. Flustered, he quickly covered Jiang Chuang’s mouth. “Stop talking! Weren’t you supposed to be taking me out to have fun?”
Before Jiang Chuang could speak, Wen Jue hurriedly changed the subject: “What about your father and mother? How did you enter the military?”
In his panic, he had brought up the one thing he shouldn’t have.
Jiang Chuang’s smile froze. He slowly straightened up and gently took Wen Jue’s hand, carefully rubbing it.
“They died. Before I joined the army.”
Wen Jue tightened his grip. “I’m sorry…”
Jiang Chuang shook his head and said lightly, “Nothing to be sorry for. I was going to tell you anyway. There was a flood in our village. They gave their lives to save me. Afterward, I had no home. I buried them, then joined the army. At least the army fed and housed me. Who’d have thought I’d go on to make a name for myself?”
When they grew tired, they sat down on a patch of dry grass beneath a tree. Jiang Chuang tried to lay his outer robe down for Wen Jue, but Wen Jue didn’t mind the dirt and sat directly on the grass. A breeze brushed their faces, comfortable and serene.
Jiang Chuang held him close, grateful. “Good thing I did make something of myself. Otherwise, how could I have met you? If my parents were still alive, they’d definitely like you.”
Wen Jue didn’t think so. Who would want to take in a blind man and treat him like a treasure? Only an imperial edict could force Jiang Chuang to reluctantly accept such a burden.
He thought this but didn’t say it. “Father… Mother.”
Jiang Chuang looked down and saw Wen Jue’s expression softened. After calling along with him, he gave a faint smile. “They’re my father and mother, too.”
As soon as he said it, warm lips pressed to his forehead, and Jiang Chuang’s smiling voice whispered beside his ear, “I said that wrong. They’re our father and mother.”
“Yunchuan.”
“What is it?”
“Yunchuan…”
Jiang Chuang noticed something off in his tone and looked at him. Wen Jue stared ahead blankly, “I’m here.”
Wen Jue grasped his hand. “Just now, you said with such certainty that your father and mother would’ve liked me. I wanted to say the same, that if my mother were still alive… But I couldn’t.”
He forced a smile, trying to lighten the mood, but it turned into bitter self-mockery. “Because I don’t even know if she would’ve liked me. I don’t know. So how could I confidently say she’d like you?”
“Consort Chen…” In their previous life, Wen Jue had never once brought her up. Now that he had, Jiang Chuang could hear the deep sorrow behind it. How could he not be sad?
Jiang Chuang said quietly, “If she were still alive, she would’ve loved you very much, just like Her Highness Princess Chenyu. She would’ve protected you and cherished you.”
At the mention of his sister, Wen Jue lowered his lashes slightly. “All these years, I’ve only burdened her. Everything I know about Mother comes from her. But the mother in her stories wasn’t gentle or nurturing. She said Mother was mischievous, always inventing new things and dragging her and Father along to test them—made them miserable but she loved it.”
“Mother was full of life. She hated being trapped in the palace but stayed for Father’s sake. When she got bored, she’d crawl through dog holes to sneak out and play. Father would chase her out of the palace and plead with her to come back.
When he loved her most, he’d even turn the entire inner palace into her playground. He skipped court just to spend the day with her. It wasn’t until the old ministers complained to my sister that she dragged Mother back and forced Father to return to court.”
“She was clever and kind-hearted, never punished the servants easily, always included them in her games. She often said the most outrageous things, but everyone got used to it. When she got pregnant with me, my sister said she nearly lost her mind—kept shouting that she wasn’t ready to be a mother and didn’t know what to do with another baby.”
At that, Wen Jue smiled faintly. Those were days before he was born, but the way he spoke of them made it sound like he’d lived them himself. It must have been Wen Yan who told him the stories over and over, so that he could piece together a mother in his imagination.
Jiang Chuang listened, heart aching. He was surprised too, this version of Consort Chen was so different from the rumors. “Consort Chen… no, your mother, she was such a spirited woman? She said those things because she was afraid of not doing it well, but she was still looking forward to your arrival.”
Wen Jue nodded. “My sister said the same. Mother had already chosen my name early on. She’d talk to me through her belly, and had Father and my sister speak to me too.”
“But then… everything happened. Sometimes I wonder, should I never have been born? My sister had such a good father and mother. And after I came along…”
“This has nothing to do with you,” Jiang Chuang said firmly. “If you say that again, I’ll kiss you to death!”
Wen Jue was momentarily stunned. It was the first time he’d seen Jiang Chuang use such childish bluntness to comfort him, and the gloom in his chest dissipated a little. He said softly, “Husband, that just makes me want to say it more.”
Jiang Chuang froze, then realized what he meant and murmured, “You said it yourself…”
Then he acted on it. He leaned down and kissed Wen Jue thoroughly, showing him exactly what it meant to be “kissed to death.”
When they finally parted, Wen Jue’s lips felt swollen again. He licked them unconsciously, and Jiang Chuang quickly looked away, reciting calming verses. For a while, neither of them spoke.
After a moment, Jiang Chuang took his hand solemnly. “Zhiyu, your sister and your mother both longed for your birth. You are the most important family to them. And to me, you are the reason I live.”
Wen Jue’s heart melted completely. His lips curled no matter how he tried to suppress it. He felt like he was being coddled like a child. In that moment, he just wanted to lean against Jiang Chuang, to rest together and think of nothing else.
But whenever such feelings arose, he felt ashamed of himself. The more he yearned for peace, the more restless he became. He greedily absorbed the sweetness of the moment, trying to memorize it—so he could survive later on, after parting from Jiang Chuang, with just these memories.
—
By the time they returned, night was falling. The two of them rode back leisurely, savoring the last bit of freedom outside the city.
Wen Jue suddenly said, “Duanshi1mid-level supervisory post in the Censorate (都察院), which was the imperial agency responsible for monitoring officials, investigating corruption, and remonstrating the emperor. from the Censorate and Minister Wu, they appear neutral, but they’re both Sixth Prince’s men.”
Jiang Chuang didn’t understand. “Why bring this up?”
Wen Jue continued, “In the next month or two, they’ll have gathered enough evidence to submit a memorial to the Emperor. They’ll exaggerate your minor faults during campaigns, accuse you, make Father angry, and start appointing new generals.”
Jiang Chuang frowned. “Why would they do that? I’ve got no grudge with them, we’ve barely interacted.”
“Because the Sixth Prince and the Empress want to promote their own men. But the Xiang family—the Empress’s maternal clan—has no one distinguished in the military. You’ve overshadowed them completely. Now that you’ve married me… and even more than that… they’ve given up on winning you over. To elevate their own, they have to first erode your prestige within the army.”
Jiang Chuang didn’t seem to care. He said casually, “If they want my position, they’d better have the ability to take it. Honestly, I’d love to let them go to war. That way, I can stay home and enjoy life with my consort!”
He rubbed his head against Wen Jue’s shoulder again. But this time, Wen Jue wasn’t in the mood for teasing. He calmly analyzed, voice tinged with disdain:
“The one they value most, Xiang Tingxuan, is all show and no substance. Brave but brainless. He’s a master of armchair strategy, but put him on the battlefield and he’ll fold like paper. If he really replaces you, I doubt he’ll last two battles before he’s defeated.”
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