SWHCBB 87

Chapter 87: Whether in the Past Life or This One, You Are My Zhiyu!

“What… do you mean by ‘the Zhiyu from a past life’?”

Jiang Chuang’s heart ached as he saw the tear-filled eyes staring at him. He hurried to explain, “Did I say something wrong? Did I not explain it clearly? You’ve never been a substitute, you are you, the only you. Could there possibly be another you in this world?”

He reached out to wipe Wen Jue’s tears, but Wen Jue turned his head away, avoiding his hand. He whispered:

“I’ve never dared to believe that you truly loved me. I never knew what it was that you loved about me. I even thought… maybe it was just my looks, or the gentleness and obedience I pretended to show. But now… now I finally know what you loved.”

Tears welled in his eyes as Wen Jue smiled bitterly, looking up and drawing a deep breath, his blurred gaze fixed on Jiang Chuang:

“You were given a second chance, carrying guilt and memories from your past life, and you brought that love to me. But I’m not the Wen Jue from that life. I never went through any of that. I wasn’t the one who died with you…”

Before he could finish, Wen Jue’s voice broke. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to hold back his tears, but the pain spreading from the center of his chest to every inch of his body forced them out.

Seeing him cry so bitterly, Jiang Chuang couldn’t hold back his own tears. He stubbornly clutched Zhiyu’s hand. “How is it not you? You just didn’t experience it, that’s all. Zhiyu, I… I’ve never separated your past self and present self.”

“If I hadn’t been reborn, if nothing had changed, you’d still be the same you from that life, and I’d be the same me. Our choices would have been the same. Doesn’t that prove we’re still the same person, no matter the life?”

Tears streaked Jiang Chuang’s face, but he raised his hand to wipe away Wen Jue’s tears. “I love you, not because you took an arrow for me and died in my arms! I fell for you shortly after we were married. Even without rebirth, even without those memories, I still would’ve loved you. But without the past, I wouldn’t have known how to love you better…”

But Wen Jue remained silent, silently crying, his face flushed and tear-streaked, yet expressionless, as if his soul had left him.

Jiang Chuang’s voice cracked as he tried to soothe him: “Don’t be sad anymore, please? You’re still recovering… If you don’t understand something, you can ask me, hit me, yell at me, just don’t torture yourself like this.”

Wen Jue’s soaked lashes trembled as he bit down hard on his lip to stifle his sobs. Word by word, he said, “Yunchuan… the ‘Wen Jue’ who belonged to you… wasn’t me!”

Jiang Chuang couldn’t understand how things had turned out like this. Why did they have to separate the past from the present? His voice trembled: “It’s not like that!”

Wen Jue shook his head in despair, his face pale. “The Wen Jue from the past wouldn’t have obsessed like I am now, questioning why you loved him. He believed you hated him, and he didn’t even mind that you did! But if it were me, I would care. I’d be devastated. I’d want to fix things, to make it right between us!”

“Because, I’ve seen him.”

Those words crashed like thunder in Jiang Chuang’s ears. He froze. “What… what did you just say?”

Wen Jue slowly pushed his hand away. Jiang Chuang didn’t dare resist, afraid of hurting him.

Tears choked his voice. “While I was unconscious, I dreamed about things from the past life… I saw another ‘Wen Jue.’ He missed you, missed you so much he got sick. Even then, he kept asking Changning if you’d come back. When he learned you wouldn’t, he had Changning write you a letter, hoping to force you to return. He just wanted to see you one last time before he died.”

Wen Jue laughed bitterly. “But clearly… you never received that letter.”

“Letter…?” Jiang Chuang stared at him in disbelief. Everything Zhiyu said now was completely beyond what he had expected, he couldn’t even process it.

Wen Jue held back tears and anguish, pouring out his long-buried grievance: “The one you pointed your sword at wasn’t me! The one locked in a cage by the Third Prince wasn’t me! The one you rescued wasn’t me! The one who died so tragically was never me! The one who ran away with you, who died shielding you from that arrow, it wasn’t me! But I wish it was… If that’s why you’re trying to love me now, then all of it… is completely wrong!”

Jiang Chuang finally came to his senses. He wiped away his tears in one motion and firmly shook his head. “How could that be wrong? Zhiyu, I’m only grateful, you’ll never have to suffer all that pain. You’ve lived well in this life. Why must you dwell on such bitter memories and experiences?”

He reached out, wanting to hold him, but Wen Jue flinched, backing away. It hurt more than anything.

Choked with sorrow, Jiang Chuang said, “I don’t care what you think. I just want my Zhiyu. Whether it’s the past-life Zhiyu, covered in scars and thorns. or the one in this life, safe and gentle and full of love… you’re my Zhiyu, all the same!”

Wen Jue felt like he was suffocating, his whole body in unbearable pain. His head throbbed, drowning out every sound. Maybe it would be easier if he just left Yunchuan.

He stood up and hurriedly pulled on his boots. “We should separate for a while, so we can calm down…”

He hadn’t even put his boots on properly when he tried to walk away, almost falling in the process. Jiang Chuang caught him just in time, finally getting a grip on him, and didn’t dare let go. His voice lowered in pleading: “Don’t go, Zhiyu… I’m leaving for the frontier in just a few days. Are you really willing to let us end like this again?”

Wen Jue’s eyes widened. Suddenly, he gripped Jiang Chuang’s robes tightly, shoved him away, turned his head, and vomited mouthful after mouthful of blood.

Then his body collapsed, his vision went black, and he passed out.