SG 30

“Really?” Yan Anqing’s eyes lit up. Grandma often praised him, but Chu Baiyan’s praise made him even happier.

“Of course it’s true. If it were me, I might’ve fought them.” Afraid he wouldn’t believe him, Chu Baiyan started talking about his own past.

“My mom died not long after my college entrance exams. She didn’t even live to see me get the admission notice. Before she died, she transferred the house to my name.”

He had never told anyone about this. He only wanted to tell Yan Anqing because he wanted him to feel better. He always believed his mom had held on just to wait for him to finish the exam. Even though his score wasn’t great, it was the best he’d ever done.

“Later my dad remarried. My stepmom brought a son with her, one year younger than me. Even though the house was under my name, everyone lived in it. I went to college in another city and only came home on breaks. The house might as well have been theirs.”

Yan Anqing listened with his eyes fixed on him. He understood what “died” meant, and he understood what “remarried” meant.

“When I was a sophomore, the old district got scheduled for demolition, and our house was in it. My dad said he’d add money to get a bigger apartment. Since I wasn’t home, it’d be easier if the house was transferred under his name for the paperwork.”

“At first I didn’t think much of it. No matter whose name was on it, it was still our home. Getting a new place sounded good. When I went home that summer, the measurements were done, and the compensation plan and new housing options were posted.”

“The old house had only two bedrooms. My dad and stepmom took one, and I shared the other with her son. After her son graduated from trade school, he worked at a factory. When I wasn’t home, the room was his. He had terrible habits. Whenever I came back, we always fought.”

“One night, her son came home drunk, reeking of sweat and alcohol. It was summer, and the AC was on. The whole room stank when he walked in. I told him to take a shower. He refused, and we started arguing again.”

“He suddenly pointed at my nose and yelled that if it weren’t for the new apartment, he would’ve kicked me out long ago. The new place was going to be his wedding home. Once they got it, I’d never set foot in that house again. I lost it. I kicked him and punched him in the face.”

Chu Baiyan smiled. Thinking back now, it still felt satisfying, even if the cost had been high.

“Did you get hurt?” Yan Anqing asked, worried after hearing that they fought.

“No.” Chu Baiyan squeezed his hand. “He was weak. Two hits, and he was crying for his mom. His mother called the police. At the hospital, they found one fracture and one crack. That counted as minor injury.”

“She cried and screamed and refused to settle. She said she wanted me in jail. My dad told me to apologize to her son. I told him I’d rather go to jail than apologize. I also said the house would stay under my name, and I wouldn’t sign for the new one. They could all get out of my house.”

“Since it was already like that, no one was going to have a good time.” Chu Baiyan had always been that way. He never started trouble, but he wasn’t someone people could push around.

“My uncle stepped in to calm things down. He worried that since I was still in college, if my stepbrother refused to write a statement forgiving me, it’d turn into a criminal record and hurt my future. We finally agreed that instead of exchanging the property, we’d just take the compensation money. My dad and I each got half.”

It hadn’t been that simple. It had taken the whole summer of fighting. What he said was just the conclusion.

His stepmom only gave in because his dad couldn’t afford another place. Getting half the money meant at least she could make a down payment on a small apartment.

That whole thing showed Chu Baiyan what kind of man his father really was. After he got his share of the money, he blocked every way of contact. It only felt ridiculous. He didn’t regret hitting anyone, and he never apologized.

Pulling himself out of the memory, Chu Baiyan smiled. “You’re much better than me. I’d just hit people. But don’t scream again. It hurts your throat. If you meet someone awful, just tell them to leave. Don’t sell to them.”

Yan Anqing reached out and hugged him from the side. He patted his back like Chu Baiyan had done earlier. “It’s okay. You’re amazing too.”

His soft hair brushed against Chu Baiyan’s neck. Finally, Chu Baiyan got to press down the little tuft sticking up on his head. It was as soft and thick as he’d imagined, but as soon as he lifted his hand, it stood back up stubbornly.

No one else would ever call him amazing. For over twenty years, there’d been nothing remarkable about him. People called him withdrawn, reckless, careless. And on top of that, he was gay.

After a while, Yan Anqing asked softly, “Don’t you live in the sea?”

“I live in the sea for work. My daily life’s the same as yours.” Chu Baiyan was surprised that he asked.

“I’m a person, just like you.”

“Then when do you turn into a fish?” Everything he said made sense to Yan Anqing, but in his mind, the timeline rearranged itself. To him, those things happened after Chu Baiyan came ashore.

“When you go to the aquarium during the day.” Chu Baiyan didn’t insist on correcting him. If he believed all his life that Chu Baiyan was a merman, that was fine too.

They kept talking about random things. Time passed by without notice. When Yan Anqing’s phone alarm rang, it was already closing time.

But tonight, he didn’t open the shop. He spent the whole evening talking to Chu Baiyan, saying more than he usually said in an entire year.

It was time for his shower, but he didn’t want to let go. He looked at the bathroom, then at their joined hands, hesitating for a long time. He couldn’t think of any better solution.

“You go take a shower. I’ll wait at the door.”

“Mm.” Yan Anqing reluctantly agreed. When he came out and saw Chu Baiyan standing outside the door, he finally relaxed.

Lying on the bed, he watched SpongeBob, but his mind stayed on the sounds from the bathroom. The moment his hand was empty, his sense of safety faded.

Chu Baiyan came out of the shower in a white tank top and gray lounge pants. His damp hair was pushed back.

“Hold hands.” When he came in to hang his clothes, Yan Anqing made his request.

Sitting on the bed, Chu Baiyan took the hand that reached out from under the blanket. “Go to sleep. I’ll move to the sofa when you’re asleep.”

His arm muscles were smooth and well-shaped in the light. They were so close that Yan Anqing couldn’t resist turning to the side and pinching his arm. It was firm and full of strength.

“Sleep together. The bed’s big.” He moved in, leaving space on the outside.

Chu Baiyan’s throat tightened. He took a deep breath and finally lay down. “Okay, now sleep.”

After all the screaming and crying that afternoon, Yan Anqing was exhausted. Holding his hand, he soon fell asleep, his breathing even and soft.

When he was sure the other was fully asleep, Chu Baiyan gently pulled his hand free. In the dim light of the night lamp, his eyes lingered on Yan Anqing’s face for a long time. Then he leaned down and kissed his forehead.

As he turned to leave, he hesitated, then came back. He took off his tank top and left it in Yan Anqing’s hand.