SWY 109

The villa was located at the foot of the mountain, so Sharhan had never expected it to be unscathed. Even Teddy’s house, which had been much farther away, had collapsed under the massive avalanche. He’d expected the damage to the villa to be severe, but seeing it with his own eyes left him speechless.

“……”

Sharhan stared blankly at the remains of the villa, or rather, the snowy mound that used to be the villa. The snow covering it looked like a white hill. All the strength drained from his body, and he staggered before collapsing to the ground. A white breath escaped from his gaping mouth. The merciless wind made him feel frozen to the bone, and the endless white snow stung his eyes.

‘What now?’

He couldn’t decide whether to wait for Lestel to come to the villa, or to head for Sermarn instead.

‘If I wait here, how long can I hold out?’

There was no food, and nowhere to take shelter. In such harsh conditions, maybe two or three days at most? More likely, he’d freeze to death before then. Just as Sharhan was mustering the strength to stand and look around again, he noticed one side of the massive snowbank had a round hole, as if someone had deliberately dug it out.

Sharhan hurried over and noticed signs that it had melted from heat before freezing again. He let out a breathless laugh.

“At the very least, Derry is still alive.”

It was obvious Derry had melted his way out with magic. Sharhan carefully squeezed himself into the hole Derry had left behind. The opening wasn’t large, and Sharhan, being bigger than Derry, scraped his shoulders and back as he forced his way through.

The interior of the villa was slightly better than the outside, not good, but not as disastrous as he’d expected.

The roof had caved in and looked like it could collapse at any moment. Snow had poured in through the broken roof and shattered windows, covering the floor in places. Sharhan stepped only where the snow was thinner.

“What was this child’s name again?”

In front of the now-dead fireplace lay a child, frozen solid, trapped in eternal sleep. He couldn’t remember the name.

Thankfully, he didn’t see Ardelle or any of the other children’s bodies. It seemed they had managed to escape through the hole Derry made. He didn’t know if they would ever meet again, but not having to face their corpses was something to be grateful for.

After silently praying for the child’s peace, Sharhan moved to where the food from the burnt village had been stored. As he walked carefully, his foot hit something. Looking down, he saw a fire poker. It was made of iron, sturdy enough to be used as a weapon. As soon as he grabbed it, the freezing cold metal made him shiver.

Sharhan yanked the poker out from the half-buried snow with all his strength. Ice shattered and scattered everywhere. Some of it even nicked his face, but his frozen skin couldn’t feel the pain. He wiped his cheek with the back of his hand and kept walking.

The food had been scattered around the original storage spot, as if there’d been no time to gather it. Most of it was buried and frozen solid, too hard to take with him, but a few potatoes had rolled free. They were frozen too, of course, but better than nothing.

Just as he was crouching to stuff the potatoes into his pocket, a moving corpse crawled out from behind a fallen cabinet and grabbed his ankle.

“……!”

Caught mid-crouch, Sharhan lost his balance and fell backward. The corpse was a corpse in every sense, its skin a bluish gray, frozen stiff, and ashen from death. It opened its mouth and growled, trying to sink its teeth into Sharhan’s flesh.

Clicking his tongue, Sharhan kicked the corpse’s shoulder with his free leg.

Thud. Crack!

The shoulder dislocated and flopped uselessly, but the corpse didn’t let go. Instead, it crawled up him like a snake, trying to pin him down.

“I’m not about to let some corpse climb on top of me!”

Sharhan kicked at its face and shoulders, reaching desperately for the fire poker he’d set down to gather the potatoes. After fumbling around, his fingers finally hooked around the handle. He swung it hard at the corpse’s head.

Thud!

With a dull thump, the skull cracked. Still, the thing didn’t release him. It took a few more blows to the head before its grip finally loosened. Sharhan sprang to his feet and drove the poker straight into the top of its skull, then yanked it out.

“Was it one of the ones from the mountain?”

It must’ve been swept in with the snow. Sharhan shook off the gore from the poker, then picked up the remaining potatoes and stuffed them in his pocket. His stomach, empty for two days, was beyond hunger and aching like it was being wrung out.

He chomped down on a half-frozen raw potato and crawled back out of the hole into the frigid air. His brow furrowed. He still hadn’t decided what to do.

Sharhan had three options: wait, go to Sermarn, or start searching. Unless he saw a body with his own eyes, giving up on Lestel was not a choice.

‘Lestel would’ve come here, just like I did. If he gets here and I’m gone… he’ll either wait or head to Sermarn.’

More specifically, to Ailun Castle in Sermarn, since Iris was supposed to be there.

He forced down the gritty, snow-like potato and wiped his mouth halfheartedly when he heard it.

Crunch

Footsteps on the frozen snow.

Sharhan tensed and gripped the fire poker, turning around.

Crunch. Crunch, crunch.

The footsteps grew louder, unbothered by the idea of hiding their presence. Sharhan squinted into the blinding white and licked his cracked lips. He couldn’t tell if it was fear, tension, or anticipation. But his heart pounded wildly. His hand shook where it gripped the poker.

Then, as if time had stopped, a figure appeared at the edge of his vision, it was Lestel.

He walked up holding an axe of unknown origin. The moment he spotted Sharhan standing there, he stopped. The two of them stared at each other for a long while.

‘He’s alive. Lestel… is alive.’

His pale cheeks were scratched and he looked exhausted, but he was alive. That was enough.

Sharhan squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. Emotion surged up in his chest. Embarrassingly, he might’ve even shed a tear.

“…Lest–”

He couldn’t finish the name. Lestel had rushed over and pulled him into a crushing hug. Their chests slammed together with an audible thud.

Their frozen bodies made the impact painful, enough for Sharhan to wince. But instead of complaining, he wrapped his arms around Lestel in return. The joy of finding him safe was greater than any pain.

“I knew you’d be alive.”

Lestel whispered in a hoarse, rough voice as he held Sharhan like he’d never let go.

“Of course. If you’re alive, there’s no way I’d be dead, right?”

“Yeah, that’s just like you. You’d survive out of sheer spite just to not lose to me.”

“You say that like you’re any different.”

“I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of never seeing you again. Of coming here and finding your corpse. I kept telling myself you’re strong and must be alive, but every now and then my heart would freeze up and I’d feel like I was losing my mind.”

“……”

Sharhan didn’t respond, but he felt exactly the same. He told himself Lestel would never die, that he had to be alive – but the fear had always been there, clinging to the edges of his belief.

Back in the prison in Verden, he’d at least had the contract as proof. This time, there was nothing. Just blind faith. And the fear that gnawed at it, ‘what if?’, was something only those who had lived through it could understand.

“And I regretted it. So damn much.”

“Regretted what?”

“Not telling you. Hiding because I was scared. Avoiding you out of guilt. I should’ve just said it all, from the start. If something had happened to you… you would’ve died thinking I was just some enemy noble’s son or a rival, and I couldn’t stand that.”

Sharhan’s heart thudded loudly. It felt like a fish leaping out of water in his chest.

“I was a coward. I couldn’t let go of you, so I tied you to me with cowardly means. We even slept together, but I still didn’t say what I really felt… because I was afraid that if I did, I’d never be able to let you go.”

“…What are you trying to say?”

Lestel’s words were clear, but also not. Sharhan, at some point, had swallowed a mouthful of saliva.

His heart was pounding louder. It echoed in his ears like it had moved into his skull. It wasn’t just his own heart, he could feel Lestel’s too, thudding against him just as wildly.

Just as Sharhan reached the limit of his restraint and moved to push Lestel away.

“I love you.”