SWY 134

Derry couldn’t answer right away and hesitated. From his expression, it was clear he wanted to go with them, but he was likely worried that his condition would only become a burden on the journey. Sharhan didn’t press him and simply waited.

“I’ll stay here,” Derry finally said, his face downcast.

“I…”

“It’s not because I don’t want to go with you!” he added quickly. “I really do want to go. But going along like this… I’d only slow the two of you down.”

His voice was tight with worry, as if afraid Sharhan or Lestel would misunderstand him.

“I know,” Sharhan replied. “I agree your recovery comes first. I just thought… if I left you behind without even asking, you might feel hurt.”

He gave Derry a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Sharhan wasn’t thrilled about leaving Derry behind either. After everything they’d been through, they had grown close.

But Derry was still weak from hunger and illness. Taking him along would’ve bordered on cruelty. And yet, waiting until he recovered wasn’t an option either.

“Once I’m better… would it be alright if I came to find you?”

“We’re heading to Ailun Castle. Ardelle knows where it is, so when you’re well, ask her to take you there.”

Before Sharhan even finished speaking, Ardelle pounded her chest with confidence and said, “Leave it to me. I’ll take him.”

Only then did Derry manage a faint smile, though the disappointment didn’t leave his face. In a world where anything could happen, it was no wonder he feared this might be their last goodbye.

“When are you leaving? You’re not going right away, are you? At least wait for the meat soup to finish and take some supplies.”

Samson stepped in.

“I’m fine–”

“We understand,” Lestel cut in before Sharhan could finish. Sharhan shot him a look of irritation, while Samson hurried back to Randall, saying, “I’ll get everything ready.”

Ardelle and Derry, sensing the tense atmosphere between Sharhan and Lestel, slowly backed away.

Then Sharhan growled under his breath.

“I’m leaving right away, so you can stay behind and stuff yourself with meat soup.”

“Shan, there are kids around. Watch your language. And if I stay, so do you.”

“Oh yeah? And how exactly are you planning to force me to stay? I don’t wear your leash anymore. Or did you forget I tore up the contract?”

Sharhan sneered.

“Are you planning to walk?”

“What?”

Lestel pulled out his whistle and waved it.

“Go on ahead. I’ll fill up on meat soup and follow you on Thunder. I should be able to catch up fast.”

“I know where Thunder is. I’ll just go there myself.”

“You could, but… if we’re being technical, Thunder’s mine. You’ve just been borrowing him. If you want to keep riding him, you’ll have to pay up.”

Sharhan let out a sharp breath. “Unbelievable. You shameless bastard.”

“Exactly. I’m shameless. And I’ll keep being shameless, because that’s the only way you’ll deal with me.”

With a long sigh, Sharhan pressed his fingers to his temple, his voice weary.

“Can’t you just give me some quiet time to think alone?”

“No. If I leave you alone, you’ll just try to run away. You already abandoned me once when things were at their worst.”

Sharhan’s words caught in his throat. He wanted to snap back, but it was like a heavy boulder was lodged in his chest. He had known Lestel had been hurt by his sudden disappearance, but he hadn’t realized how deep the trauma went.

“See? You can’t even deny it.”

“It’s not that…”

Lestel cut him off with a sigh.

“And how exactly do you plan to save Iris on your own? If you really can’t forgive me, then think of me as a tool, use me until we find her.”

“What, you think you’re an object?”

“I’m saying if it’s you, I’ll gladly be used. Go get your things. I’ll bring Thunder and Lightning.”

“Call them here.”

“What if the sound of hooves attracts the moving corpses? I’ll summon them from a distance and bring them quietly.”

“Together…”

Sharhan’s voice trailed off before he could finish the words Let’s go together. He stared after Lestel’s retreating back, face twisted.

Lestel was the one in the wrong. Sharhan was the one with the right to be angry. So why did it feel like he was the one at fault?

At first, he was fuming, cursing Lestel in his head while packing, furious that Lestel had made him feel like the guilty one.

But as time passed, worry crept in.

The meat soup had long finished boiling, yet there was still no sign of Lestel.

Even judging by the distance to where Thunder and Lightning had been left, he should’ve returned by now. Anxious, Sharhan bit his lip, staring endlessly in the direction Lestel had gone.

“Still not back?”

Ardelle, worried too, asked for what must have been the third time.

“No.”

“You didn’t hear hoofbeats either?”

“No.”

Not even the sound of Thunder and Lightning galloping toward the whistle’s call. Lestel must’ve gone far.

What if he ran into corpses? Or a group of survivors? How far did he even go?

Should he go after him? What if something happened?

His thoughts spiraled into dark places. No matter how angry he was, he should never have let Lestel go alone. The regret was unbearable.

Any resentment or hatred he had toward Lestel only meant something if Lestel was still alive.

If he died, none of it mattered.

Die?

The thought that Lestel might never return made Sharhan’s hands tremble. A chill ran down his spine like he’d been thrown into ice water. No matter how many times he faced the possibility of losing Lestel forever, he could never get used to it.

“You’ll tear your lips off at this rate.”

“What?”

“Stop chewing your lip. You’re bleeding.”

Only then did Sharhan realize what he’d done. When he licked his lip, the taste of blood hit his tongue.

“I need to go find–”

Just as he began to say he’d go look for Lestel himself, a familiar neigh rang out in the distance.

He froze and listened. Hoofbeats. Growing louder.

Thunder and Lightning.

Sharhan’s frozen body slowly thawed.

As he turned, Ardelle looked at him curiously.

“Where are you going?”

“You said the soup’s done.”

“It’s been boiling forever, and you ignored me when I called you to eat. Now you’re interested?”

“Yeah. I need to eat before we head to the castle.”

“Not worried about Lestel anymore… oh? That’s hooves, isn’t it?”

Now hearing them too, Ardelle narrowed her eyes and thought, I knew it. You were acting like a lost kid who lost his mom, and now you’re pretending you don’t care.

The hoofbeats drew closer. Even the others turned toward the sound. Randall gripped his weapon, but Samson calmed him down, saying it was probably Sharhan and Lestel’s horses.

Only then did Randall lower his weapon and return to work. He was setting traps around the storehouse to defend against corpses or hostile survivors.

Moments later, Lestel appeared. Ardelle ran up to him.

“Where have you been?”

“Far.”

“I was worried!”

“I ran into some corpses on the way. Took time clearing them out.”

As he explained to Ardelle, Lestel’s eyes were already scanning for Sharhan.

“He was standing right there waiting for you, but as soon as he heard hooves, he walked off that way. I don’t know what you two fought about, but make up already. You’re leaving together soon.”

“That’s between me and Shan.”

“So cold to someone who was worried sick. Fine, not like you ever let me interfere anyway. You two always push everyone else out whenever you start throwing punches. Whatever. I’m done.”

Ardelle shook her head and went back to the pot, now thick with the scent of meat. She filled a ladle with soup and brought it to Lestel, who nodded in thanks and began to drink slowly.

Sharhan strapped a bag to Lightning’s saddle, inside were supplies for a few days, weapons, and traps the Samson brothers had made.

“What about the man tied up inside?” someone asked.