SWY 43

“What?”

“Worry about your own body. With a face that looks half-dead, who exactly are you thinking of going out to find? You’re so worn out, you’d collapse after just a few steps. Are you in your right mind?”

Lestel sneered as he checked the wounds on Sharhan’s side and thigh. He wasn’t wrong. The clearer Sharhan’s mind became, the more acutely he felt the miserable state of his body.

A foul odor was already seeping from the festering wound, and chills ran through him again. His stomach was so empty he could barely feel it.

He’d said they should go look for Derry, who had gone off alone, but truthfully, he wouldn’t have been able to act on it. Worry aside, he wasn’t foolish enough to gamble both his and Lestel’s lives over it.

Still, Lestel’s sarcastic tone irritated him, and his reply came out sharper than intended.

“It’s just a figure of speech. I never said I’d go throw myself into danger. And if you’re so worried about my condition, why’d you kiss me? You were practically ready to devour me.”

“You were the one who started it, and now you’re leaving that part out? Typical of a Kaios, to twist the truth like it’s second nature.”

“When did I start anything? Don’t start framing me.”

“You were grinding your ass against me while I was being your living blanket. Might as well ask, what exactly were you dreaming about, writhing like that while burning up with fever?”

“I wasn’t dreaming about anything! I was cold and instinctively moved toward warmth.”

“Warmth, huh. Looked more like seduction from where I was lying.”

“It wasn’t!”

“Be glad your body wasn’t at its best, or I wouldn’t have stopped there.”

“Wow. You make it sound like some noble act of restraint. And for fuck’s sake, why are you hard again?! Are you insane?!”

Sure enough, the bulge in Lestel’s trousers had returned.

“You’re hard too.”

Lestel nodded toward Sharhan’s crotch like he wasn’t going to take all the blame alone. Sharhan also felt the tightness in his pants again and silently cursed his damn “reproductive instinct.” They’d only started bickering because of Lestel’s snark, so why the hell was he hard?

He knew the reason. The moment Lestel brought up the kiss, everything came rushing back – the heated air between them, the sensation of their tongues intertwining, the slick, lewd sounds – and that heat had begun to coil low in his stomach.

‘What the hell? It’s not like I’m some kid just discovering pleasure.’

Well, he wasn’t a kid, but it was true he was just now discovering sexual pleasure. Just a kiss had been enough to make his body tingle. The real problem was that it was with Lestel.

“I… I’m only like this because I’m sick.”

“That excuse again? Shan, if you’re going to lie, at least make it sound believable.”

Lestel shook his head and pushed his silver hair back from his face.

“It’s the truth. Don’t you know what beasts do when they sense death?”

“…What?”

“They mate. It’s a survival instinct. The weaker the body gets, the stronger the urge to reproduce.”

Sharhan said it seriously, even though it was nonsense.

“Oh, so that’s why you’re calling it ‘reproductive instinct’ now?”

“Exactly!”

“Funny, earlier you said it was because it’d been too long. Make up your mind, honey. Anyway, it works out. You’ve your instincts, I’ve my frustration. Sounds like sex could solve both our problems. Once you recover, let’s properly fuck.”

“How did that become the conclusion?!”

“What, you don’t like the idea?”

“Of course I d–”

He was about to shout “I don’t!” but choked on the word halfway through.

“Did you not like the kiss?”

“I-It wasn’t that…”

That was the problem. He did like it, damn it.

“Then what is it? You and I are both far from pure, so it’s not like we need to act coy. The world’s gone to hell, it’s hard to find a safe partner, and we’ve needs. I’m not asking for a relationship, let alone marriage. Just don’t overthink it.”

“It’s not fair.”

“What isn’t?”

I’ve never done this before, and you have. Sharhan glared at him and let out a frustrated breath, running a hand through his hair.

‘Is it the fever? Why am I having these insane thoughts? What am I even upset about?” Was it the fact that Lestel had experience and I didn’t? Was my pride hurt over being the only virgin?’

Sharhan lay back, dazed, his expression drawn. He wasn’t even sure how things had turned out like this right after waking up, or why this was the conversation they were having. At least the awkwardness from the kiss had faded, though confusion lingered.

“I asked you what’s not fair.”

Lestel lay beside him, pulling him into his arms as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Forget it. I’m tired. Don’t talk to me.”

“At least you’re conscious again. Tomorrow, I’ll go scout the area on my own. If I go farther out, I might find something.”

“Are you insane? You think I’m letting you go out alone?”

“What, you want us to lie here and die together? We need herbs, food, something to help you recover.”

“And if I get better, what? So we can fuck?”

“Exactly.”

“You really are insane. Why the hell are you so hung up on having sex with me?”

Lestel was the type to obsess until he got what he wanted. And now that what he wanted was sex, he was bound to keep pressing until he got it.

Sharhan closed his eyes, exasperated, but for some reason his heart was pounding. The idea that Lestel might just be using him to vent lust made him angry… yet the memory of that deep, overwhelming kiss stirred warmth in his core.

‘Shit, I should’ve just gone wild with him. My body’s too weak and sensitive now.’

Sharhan muttered with a sigh, “Keep dreaming, you lunatic. I’m never sleeping with you.”

***

The next morning, Sharhan opened his eyes to a cold that pierced through to his bones. He shot up, realizing Lestel was gone, only to immediately stagger from a wave of dizziness. His vision spun, and his legs wouldn’t hold him.

“Damn it, even standing’s a chore.”

He bundled himself in Derry’s robe, which had fallen by his feet, and slowly made his way to the door. Outside, the world was still blanketed in white.

Contrary to his assumption that Lestel had gone far off exploring, he was standing near the cabin, whistling, a signal meant to call Thunder and Lightning.

Whii~ whiii

The low, drawn-out sound stretched far over the silent wasteland. Maybe the snow had muffled it, or maybe there were no walking corpses nearby, but nothing stirred.

Leaning against the doorframe, Sharhan silently watched Lestel from behind.

He was a little thinner from hunger, but his shoulders were still broad. The rugged, worn hunter’s clothes suited him surprisingly well. His long silver hair caught the sunlight and shimmered against the snow.

“…Even his back looks annoyingly good.”

Maybe he heard the muttered insult, because Lestel turned around. He approached and immediately checked Sharhan’s complexion.

“You’re awake?”

“Are Thunder and Lightning… dead?”

“Hard to say. Maybe they’re too far to hear the call.”

“Or maybe a survivor caught them.”

“They wouldn’t go down easily. They’re only gentle with us. They’re smart and aggressive with strangers.”

“Good. That’s a relief.”

“How’s your body?”

“Feels like I won’t die just yet.”

He held back the part where he felt like death.

“We need something to eat.”

“Don’t even think about going out alone. You’ll really die this time.”

Sharhan’s low warning made Lestel grin as he reached up and brushed Sharhan’s ear.

“Honey, are you that worried about me?”

Sharhan swatted his hand away, glaring.

“Of course I’m worried! You’re the one holding the contract. You think I’d not be concerned? If you plan on dying, at least hand over the contract first!”

“You think I’m crazy enough to give it to you? You’d run off in a heartbeat.”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t even look back.”

“That’s why I’m never letting you go. Do you know how hard I worked to put that leash on you?”

“Then if you’re not letting me go, stay put until I recover.”

“And you think you’ll recover without food or medicine?”

Waking up at all had been a miracle. He could feel himself getting weaker by the moment. There was no guarantee he’d ever regain his former strength.

Even now, his legs were trembling. But he didn’t want to throw cold, fatalistic words at Lestel and upset him. After some thought, Sharhan changed the subject.

“…Didn’t you say food was hidden somewhere around here? Did you find it?”

“The villagers from Gagos searched the cabin pretty thoroughly but couldn’t find it. Ended up fleeing empty-handed.”

“You said Parel escaped with the mana explosives, right? Maybe the food was there too?”

“I checked earlier. His cabin was empty, same as this one. There’s probably a hidden space, but that sly bastard must’ve closed it back up before leaving.”

“He said something about a wall. Did you check thoroughly? Let’s go look.”

Sharhan and Lestel walked through the snow, which swallowed their feet with every step. His strength was nearly gone, and the snow made it worse, they had to stop and rest several times on the way.

When they finally reached Parel’s cabin, they searched along the walls for any sign of a hidden compartment. But no matter how they checked, they found nothing.

Exhausted, Sharhan slumped to the floor and leaned against the wall.

“Want some water?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded weakly. Lestel stepped outside, whistling by habit, and scooped up some clean snow. It melted quickly from the warmth of his hands.

Sharhan looked embarrassed as Lestel approached with the water cupped in his palms. He dipped his head and drank, licking up the melted snow. His tongue brushed Lestel’s skin, and for some reason, that small touch made his face burn. Even after quenching his thirst, he couldn’t lift his head right away.

Hiiiing!

A familiar sound echoed through the air.