SRS 44

When they gave him looks asking what happened, Mikael looked at his roommates with an expression that seemed a little disappointed. It was the first time his eyes showed his feelings so clearly.

Yohan, Kylus, and Suhyeok all felt a pang of guilt, and they all hid the openly suspicious gazes they gave Mikael.

“It’s my fourth-year at this school, so of course I’d have some points saved up.”

Mikael hinted at where the money came from. Suhyeok looked confused.

“Doesn’t it disappear if you repeat a year?”

“I thought so too, but since it turned into money, I guess not.”

Mikael answered while looking down at his pocket. Yohan and the others leaned toward his pocket like a pack of hyenas. The sound of several silver and gold coins inside reached their ears.

“Wow, you even have three gold coins?”

“…That means you had at least thirty points. …Hm. I’m sorry for misunderstanding you, Mikael. You actually did attend school properly.”

“…Considering you still have this much even after failing because of absence, I guess that’s what it means. I’m sorry too for suspecting you earlier.”

Yohan joined Kylus’s apology and checked his friend’s reaction. Fortunately, the sincere apologies seemed to lighten Mikael’s disappointment.

Yohan then checked Kylus. After seeing Mikael’s money, he pretended not to care but was obviously happy. Yohan was relieved to see his frozen body thawing a little bit. It looked like none of them from room 304 would have to go to sleep uncomfortable because of Kylus being upset about not buying a weapon.

“Mikael.”

When Yohan tugged on his collar and signaled him to bring his ear closer, Mikael approached him. Yohan covered his lips with his palm and whispered.

“…If it’s fine with you, could you buy a weapon for Kylus? I’ll pay you back when we come to the commercial district again.”

“……”

Since he made sure Kylus couldn’t hear him, Mikael straightened his posture and stared at Yohan. Yohan wondered why he wasn’t answering, then realized it a beat late.

Maybe it upset him, since I acted like I was treating his money too casually.

He felt he had rushed things and was about to apologize.

“Take it.”

Mikael did something shocking. He handed each of them, Yohan, Suhyeok, and Kylus, one gold coin.

“Mikael?”

“…Hey, Mikael. What’s with you all of a sudden?”

“…What’s your intention?”

Since it wasn’t silver but gold, all of them couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. They all hesitated as if they’d made an agreement, burdened to even say thank you. Mikael acted like it wasn’t a big deal.

“I have been in Fantasiademia for a long time, but you three didn’t. I think you need to buy what’s necessary first so you can adjust to the classes ahead. Pay the gold back gradually within the year.”

“Mikael…”

Kylus was moved by his friend’s unexpected loyalty.

“…You didn’t eat something weird, right? If you suddenly see all of us as Yohan, warn me. I’m Suhyeok.”

It seemed Suhyeok was too emotional and started saying nonsense. Yohan felt embarrassed for Mikael, nudged Suhyeok in the side to quiet him, then held the gold coin back toward Mikael. He was grateful, but this amount was too much.

“I understand what you mean, but it’s still too much. I’m fine, so take it back. Thanks for thinking of us, Mikael.”

“Yohan.”

“Yes?”

“Wouldn’t it be better if you just take it?”

Mikael asked a little carefully. Yohan almost asked why, then noticed something wrong. He turned his head and saw Kylus gripping the gold coin tightly while narrowing his eyes at Yohan and Mikael.

“Ah.”

Yohan realized the mistake.

If I refuse, the others will probably feel like they should refuse too. Why didn’t I think of that?

It wasn’t like him. Since the gold coin felt too much, he had panicked and messed up. Mikael put the coin back into Yohan’s hand.

“Think of it as my sincerity.”

He changed the flow naturally and gave Yohan a chance to fix his mistake. Impressed by that smooth handling, Yohan nodded.

“…Thank you. I’ll earn points and pay you back.”

“Alright.”

“…I’ll pay back too.”

“I’ll trust you.”

“I’ll definitely pay it back. Thanks, Mikael!”

Only then did Kylus’s expression return to normal. Yohan rubbed the gold coin in his palm and furrowed his brows, realizing he almost made a serious mistake.

Why did I do something so stupid?

“Good thing it worked out.”

While he blamed himself, Mikael leaned toward Yohan and whispered. Yohan agreed and thanked him again, then followed after Suhyeok and Kylus who were walking ahead. They searched for the weapon shop when one of them suddenly stopped and called him.

“Yohan.”

“Yes?”

Yohan stopped a few steps later and looked back at him. Mikael slowly opened his lips.

“You probably know this, but I’m quite fond of how kind you are.”

“…Uh, thank you?”

“Yes. But… that doesn’t mean I always like it.”

“Huh?”

Yohan had been flustered by the sudden compliment, but he sensed something was wrong and blinked. Mikael sounded like he was scolding him.

Yohan didn’t know why, so he remained still, and Mikael walked toward him step by step.

“When you talk to me, I put you first. Earlier, you didn’t have any points either. So I don’t understand why the first thing you said was that I should buy a weapon for Kylus.”

It wasn’t his imagination. He really was being scolded. Surprised, Yohan stepped back without realizing it.

“Are you upset because of that?”

“I’m not that upset.”

“Then?”

“I just… want you to practice putting yourself first. At least when you talk to me.”

He emphasized what he had said before. Yohan only became more confused, then couldn’t hold it in.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why. Because… I want you to?”

Mikael answered like Yohan’s question was the strange one. As if it was obvious. Yohan glanced behind him. He had fallen behind Kylus and Suhyeok, who were now quite far away. He knew he needed to follow them, but his body wouldn’t move. After struggling, Yohan pulled himself together and looked up at Mikael.

He needed to settle this at least once.

“I don’t understand what you mean. I’m asking why you want me to act that way. Is it because you’re thinking about me?”

“…Perhaps.”

Until that moment Mikael still looked relaxed. Yohan let out a frustrated sigh. He wished Mikael would feel that same frustration, even just a little.

“Why? Why do you think about me?”

“……”

“I’m not accusing you. I just sometimes can’t understand what your attitude toward me means.”

Yohan wanted to understand the real meaning behind Mikael’s special treatment, the same treatment Suhyeok seriously joked about. Since he wasn’t good at dodging things, he asked directly. Mikael looked past him. He stared at the commercial district for a moment, then spoke.

“That’s true. …Why do you stand out so much to me?”

“How can you ask me that?”

He asked because he was curious, so why was Mikael replying with a question? Yohan thought this kind of logic made no sense. Mikael blinked, then burst into laughter.

“You must be fairly annoyed. I just really didn’t know, so I asked. I don’t know either. …I’ve thought about your questions more than once…”

He trailed off.

“I still don’t know. Why do I care about you… Because of regrets? Responsibility? Or habit?”

Yohan frowned in confusion when he heard him muttering to himself.

Why would regret, responsibility or habit appear here? None of it fit the situation.

What regrets? Mikael and Yohan had only met for the first time in Fantasiademia, and Mikael had treated him well from the beginning. Responsibility didn’t make sense either, since there was no reason he would feel responsibility toward Yohan and not the others. Habit was the same, impossible for the same reasons.

All three were so wrong that Yohan only grew more confused. While he was mentally struggling, Mikael walked again toward him, closing the distance.

“…Maybe I’m jealous of your divine power.”

“…What?”

“Or maybe I just like your divine power.”

His laughter sounded self-deprecating. Yohan froze as Mikael passed him, stunned by what he had just said, and stared at Mikael back as he walked away.

It was that feeling again. Like he was talking to someone different from a human. Like he was facing someone he couldn’t reach. Like he was responding to something of an entirely different kind.

By the time he came back to his senses, Mikael had already taken several long steps and caught up to Kylus and Suhyeok. Standing with them, he looked back at Yohan.

“Yohan, aren’t you coming?”

Suhyeok gestured for him to hurry.

Yohan hid the strange mood from moments earlier as if it had never existed and mixed back in between them like a normal student. He looked at Mikael with a slightly irritated gaze.

He says he’s jealous, then says he likes it…

“…Which one is it?”

His ambiguous attitude only made things more confusing. It was unpleasant, but ironically he became certain of one thing. The reason Mikael treated Yohan differently from the others was because of Yohan’s divine power.

Certain of that, Yohan frowned. It felt like the sting of paper cutting his skin, a small rising wave of discomfort.