DSB 45

While Yutis was away, Lebel spoke to Mahan.

“Does that suppressant not burden the body?”

“What?”

“Yutis takes that medicine every day. I am asking wether his body is fine.”

“The suppressant prevents him from excessively releasing pheromones m”

“Does that mean Yutis cannot control his pheromones?”

Lebel also sometimes sensed Yutis’s pheromones. Was he in a state similar to his?

Just as Yutis could sense Lebel’s pheromones while others could not, Lebel wondered if he alone could sense Yutis’s pheromones, or if Yutis’s demonic energy made him unable to regulate them properly.

“It is not that. He simply has a larger amount of pheromones than others, and he is more sensitive, so he cannot suppress them easily.”

That sounds the same to him. But Lebel did not ask further, because Mahan’s expression looked dark.

“Lord Yutis possesses pheromones that are strong even among dominants. Many have been affected when he released them unconsciously, so he takes the suppressant for that reason.”

“Does he have to take it for life?”

“No. Taking it every day is a recent thing. The rut came, but he could not release the pheromones, so they continued building up inside his body.”

“If I am here now, he should be fine?”

Mahan smiled as he answered Lebel’s question.

“Yes. Of course. After spending his rut with you, his condition has greatly improved.”

“One more thing. Why does the priest give him the suppressant? The one I was to take was given by the physician.”

“The medicine is strong, so the priest purifies it to reduce its toxicity.”

Since his pheromones are strong, he must take stronger medicine too.

“But he takes that every day?”

Lebel’s eyes grew cold. He had heard from the physician that taking too much medicine was bad.

“When his condition stabilizes, he will not need it. Before, even after the rut ended, he could not settle his pheromones well. But now it is different. Everyone feels the change.”

The first to notice Yutis’s recovery were the servants who lived here. Each rut had felt like walking on frozen ground, and it was Lebel who had melted that ice.

“So you need not worry too much. It is all thanks to you.”

“……”

Lebel remained silent. After a short pause, he spoke bluntly.

“I see.”

“……?”

Mahan could not understand what he meant.

“That means if we repeat what happened that time, his recovery will be faster.”

“What?”

“If others can tell the difference, then he must know it too. Yet he does not even ask me.”

Unaware of Mahan’s bewilderment, Lebel started thinking.

They said sharing pheromones during rut helped recovery. Then it must not have been enough.

He had said his condition improved after they spent the rut together, but he still took the medicine.

He was worried that things had ended awkwardly that day since he fainted in the middle, and his guess turned out right. Yutis had not fully recovered.

This is my fault. And I am the only one who can fix it, so I must act.

He remembered Mark’s warning not to stimulate an alpha with pheromones, but Lebel pushed that advice aside.

Besides, Yutis had told him it was fine to release pheromones around him.

“Um, young madam…?”

Mahan started to feel nervous when he saw Lebel’s face, he was planning something. But there was nothing he could read in Lebel’s blank expression.

“Go and bring Yutis.”

When Lebel spoke again to the hesitating Mahan, Mahan quickly turned and went to fetch him. After some time, Yutis quietly opened the door and entered.

“Madam, I heard you were looking for me. What is it?”

Yutis came with a worried face. Mahan’s strange expression when calling him had made him nervous. But fortunately, Lebel looked the same as he had that morning.

“Have you been busy?”

“There is nothing that keeps me busy. I always have time for you.”

“That is good.”

Lebel gestured for him to come closer. As Yutis stepped toward him, Lebel grabbed his hand and released his pheromones.

“My, my wife…? What are you…”

“I realized you never answered when I said we should help each other during heat. So, you had no intention of doing it with me, is that it?”

“W, wait…!”

Yutis felt dizzy.

The pheromones that washed over him and the force with which Lebel pulled him and pushed him onto the bed left him speechless.

When Yutis found himself beneath Lebel, his face turned red.

“What, what are you trying to do?”

“I am thinking of spending the night with you.”

Yutis’s eyes widened as large as lanterns. His pupils trembled and he spoke in panic.

“There, there is still a long time before night comes!”

“Then I can draw the curtains.”

“Just because it is dark does not mean it is night! And spending the night means…”

“You are thinking correctly. When I thought about it, I realized I hardly remember anything from that day. So I will do it again now while I am in my right mind. You keep taking that medicine because it is not enough. If you keep suppressing it like that, your body will break down.”

He fusses over him every day, making sure he eat food and medicine that restore his energy, even applying ointment to prevent the wound on his back from scaring.

But he refuses the easier way and takes strong medicine that harms his body.

“Was the reason you brought me here not to calm your rut? Then what are you trying to do by rejecting me? You said you wanted to live a long life with me. For that, you must be healthy.”

Yutis was the one who had said he wanted to stay with him. And his condition is something Lebel can heal. Yet he does not ask.

He always acts as though he feels guilty toward him, but in truth, he is the one who has done far more to make things easy for Lebel.

Lebel, who had always seized what he wanted by force, could not understand Yutis’s restraint.

He felt indebted to him. It was one thing for Yutis to worry about his health, but why must he go as far as to sacrifice himself?

Lebel kept his hand on Yutis’s chest and did not stop releasing pheromones. The demonic energy that had lain still began to stir again.

It was not rampaging as violently as that day, but it was fierce.

“W, wait! Stop. The pheromones…”

“Stay still. I learned how to handle pheromones because of you. Now that I have learned, I must use it.”

If the reason his demonic energy had remained quiet was that it had been satiated by the pheromones that day, then pouring in enough pheromones to keep it at peace for a long time would make him recover better.

“Why are you going that far?”

Yutis clenched his teeth so tightly that his jaw stood out as he asked in a grave tone.

Why?

When Yutis seriously asked that question, Lebel tilted his head.

“Because it must be done. We agreed from the start that…”

Lebel spoke casually, but then he caught sight of Yutis’s face, which looked as if it had been wounded by those words.

“What is wrong?”

Why does he look sorrowful?

“Is it because we are husband and wife?”

“Is that not the natural duty?”

“I don’t like that.”

“What?”

Lebel did not understand his words for a moment. Then their positions reversed.

“I wish you would do it not because it is a duty, but because you think of me as someone special.”

Lebel lay on the bed and looked up at Yutis. The silver-gray eyes above him shimmered with sadness.

“You are special to me. Are we not husband and wife?”

“On paper only.”

Yutis knew that even that much was already more than he deserved. He knew that Lebel’s gaze toward him was slightly different from how he looked at others. But he could not call that love.

“I hope that you act not out of necessity but for me, because you want to.”

“What difference is there? Either way, it is something that must be done.”

“……!”

Yutis felt his chest tighten painfully.

He had known that since they were married and since the reason he came here in the first place was the rut, that could be the reason. But hearing it directly hurt.

Lebel’s words meant that he had spent his rut with him not because he wished to, but because it was something that had to be done.

Even during his rut then, the reason he had opened the door was that he had come north to spend that time together.

Even now, using the word “agreement,” he was trying to help him again simply because of his rut.

Only out of a sense of duty.

Lebel was honest, like someone who had never learned to hide his emotions. So when he said something pleased him, it must have really pleased him.

But it was closer to enjoying the act than to liking Yutis as a person.

When he had called him beautiful that day, he had only said what he felt in the moment. But that alone had made Yutis love him more. Seeing him try for his sake had made him seem even more dear.

He did not know what Lebel thought of him.

Each time those indifferent eyes turned toward the window, the urge to seize him and force him to look only at himself grew stronger.

Yutis lowered his eyes.

Lebel, who was watching him, swallowed.

He felt that he had made some mistake, but he did not know what it was.