Chapter 23

When the rain let up a little, Lian Ai crawled out of the hollow and set off again.

He didn’t know how long he had been walking. When he reached a small stream, he crouched to drink and rest. As he lowered his head, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the water and froze.

The rain had washed away all the blood and dirt from his face. The wound on his forehead was deep that torn flesh could be seen.

His fingers trembled as he reached up to touch it. The pain made him shiver.

He stared at the reflection for a long time, as if unsure whether the figure in the water was still himself.

That ghost-like face… was that really him? He turned his gaze away, no longer wanted to look.

With great effort, he tore a strip from his inner garment using his teeth and his only functioning hand. He wrapped the strip around the ugly wound on his forehead. When it was done, he closed his eyes briefly, picked up the branch he had been using as a walking stick, and began moving toward the direction he believed led back to the capital.

The mountain paths were slick. He fell more times than he could count. His once-light-colored clothing had turned into a filthy shade of brown.

He dragged himself over two ridgelines, wandering in circles as he searched for the way back. When he was hungry, he chewed leaves and weeds. When thirsty, he drank rainwater pooled along the rocks. Whether by luck or sheer will, he finally made it back on the third morning.

When he appeared at the city gates, he looked like a beggar who had wandered all the way to the capital from a distant province.

The Great Qi allowed free movement of its citizens. The gates were not strictly guarded, and the people came and went as they pleased. The soldiers at the gate frowned when they saw him, but turned away in disgust rather than stop him.

It was still early. Even in a city as bustling as the capital, few people were out. Those who did see him avoided him as if he carried some plague.

The General’s Estate was finally in sight. Lian Ai’s battered body and exhausted mind began to ease. Something like relief and quiet joy spread through him.

He had made it back. This time, he had survived on his own.

He hadn’t become anyone’s burden.

—

Bu Nian sat at the table, resting his chin on one hand as he stared at the delicate-faced youth nearby, who was being dressed by Fen Zi and clearly displeased about it. His expression grew impatient. “Why are you fidgeting again?”

The youth fell silent after being scolded and muttered softly, “Master, these clothes are too heavy.” He could not move properly in them, let alone fight.

His features were fine, his face almost feminine. It would not be a stretch to call him beautiful.

The youth was Bai Shu, one of the twelve deathsworn Bu Nian had trained from a young age.

“Endure it.” Bu Nian’s reply was brief, showing no interest in further conversation.

Once Fen Zi finished adjusting Bai Shu’s clothes, she stepped aside. When Lian Ai’s disappeared, the General had sent out people to search through the night. Nothing had turned up. After that, it was as if he had been wiped from existence. No one saw him again, whether alive or dead.

On the second day, the General gave the order that Lian Ai’s name was no longer to be mentioned in the estate.

By the third day, the General returned with a beautiful young man at his side. The two were close in manner, and he publicly claimed the boy as his male pet. It was as if no one remembered Lian Ai had ever existed.

It had only been three days.

Fen Zi sighed inwardly. After spending the past few months with Lian Ai, she could not say she felt nothing for him. But her master would always be Bu Nian. Whatever he decided, it was not her place to question.

Bai Shu had changed into the ornate clothing, which though elegant, was rather cumbersome. He turned once in front of Bu Nian, unable to resist.

“Master, do I look good?” He was lively by nature. Compared to the other deathsworn, who were always solemn and respectful, he was noticeably more relaxed around Bu Nian.

“Not bad.” Bu Nian replied with little interest. Then he stood. “Come with me.” His robe lifted as he walked out, not waiting for the one behind him.

Bai Shu’s eyes brightened. He followed closely behind and asked, “Master, where are we going?”

Bu Nian kept his eyes forward. His voice was cold. “Out. Let everyone get a good look at my new favorite.”

Bai Shu was no fool. Though lively, he was not without wit. His eyes moved slightly, and he responded quickly. “I understand. Bai Shu will not make you lose face.”

He knew exactly why he had been brought to the General’s Estate. His task was clear. He was there to replace the one who came before him and become the new shield.

As for what had happened to the previous one, he didn’t care. Whatever the master asked, he did. The rest was none of his concern. Still, somewhere in his heart, he felt a bit of pride. He believed, at the very least, that he was better than that useless man who had come before.

The two walked one after the other, keeping a step of distance between them. When the gatekeeper saw Bu Nian leaving, he quickly opened the doors.

When the heavy vermilion doors slowly opened, a mud-covered figure appeared before Bu Nian and Bai Shu, staggering with every step.

“Ah,” Bai Shu murmured under his breath, frowning. “He’s filthy.”

Bu Nian’s eyes widened. For a moment, he seemed stunned and unprepared.

Lian Ai walked step by step up the stone steps. When he saw Bu Nian, he stopped. Though exhausted, though in pain, though filled with grievances, he still showed him a faint, weary smile.

His eyes were clear, unclouded by any resentment. That purity was so stark it almost hurt to look at.

Why…

“General…” Lian Ai had finally returned to the place where he felt safe. The tension he had been holding inside snapped in an instant. His vision went dark, and his body collapsed forward.

Before Bu Nian’s mind could react, his body moved on instinct. He stepped forward and caught Lian Ai as he fell.

He held the thin frame against his chest and murmured, his tone quietly conflicted, “Why did you come back?”

—

Lian Ai’s dislocated arm had been set, but the swelling had not yet subsided. The joint was held in place with gauze, his arm suspended from his neck. Because the injury had been left untreated for some time, the physician said it would cause discomfort whenever he used the arm.

The gash on his forehead had been exposed to rain and dirt. While not too deep, it was healing poorly. After examining it, the physician sighed and said it would likely scar.

Fen Zi thanked him and saw him out of the estate. Bu Nian remained alone, seated at Lian Ai’s bedside, watching him sleep with furrowed brows.

He stayed in that room for two full hours. Had Song Qiao not come to summon him, he might have stayed even longer.

Having gone days without rest, Lian Ai slept for two days and one night without waking. There were moments he stirred, but his mind remained groggy. Each time Fen Zhi managed to feed him a little porridge or medicine, he fell back asleep almost at once.

He finally awoke on the second night after returning to the estate. As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw Bu Nian sitting beside him.

“General…” His voice was hoarse. He had only managed to speak a word when he noticed someone unfamiliar standing nearby. It was a handsome young man.

The youth met his gaze and offered a somewhat awkward smile.

Lian Ai paused for a moment, then gave a slight nod in return.

Bu Nian saw where he was looking. His eyes shifted briefly toward Bai Shu, who looked seemed uncomfortable. Then he turned back and said, “His name is Bai Shu.”

Lian Ai turned his eyes back to Bu Nian when he heard his voice and noticed his expression was indifferent. His eyes were dark and deep, making it impossible to tell what he was really feeling. Lian Ai said nothing. He didn’t know what he could say.

Bu Nian spoke again. “He’s the one I brought in to replace you.”

This time, Lian Ai froze. It took him a long moment to fully process the meaning behind those words.

He asked hesitantly, “Did the General think I wasn’t coming back?”

Was that why he had already found someone to take his place?

Bu Nian lowered his eyes and didn’t answer. Not a single flicker passed through his face. Not even a lash moved. He sat there like someone in meditation.

A while passed before he opened his mouth again. “Do you know who was behind your abduction?”

Lian Ai still felt a little tight in his chest after seeing the other youth, but he nodded. “I know. The men who took me said it was Princess Fuqu. She wanted to humiliate me to take revenge on you.”

Bu Nian looked at the bandage wrapped across his forehead, then shifted his gaze away.

“After it was done, she went straight into the palace that same night and took shelter with the Empress Dowager,” he said. “I could have saved you. If I had gone to court and explained the truth to His Majesty, the law and reason would have been on my side. He would have forced the Empress Dowager to hand her over. As long as she gave up your location, you wouldn’t have had to suffer like this.”

Lian Ai thought Bu Nian was blaming himself for not saving him. Wanting to ease the guilt, he forced a small smile. “It wasn’t that bad…”

But Bu Nian’s next words made his whole body go cold. It felt like he had been swept into a snowstorm and then thrown to the ground.

“I would never fall out with the Empress Dowager for a bedslave.” Bu Nian’s voice was flat. “You are nothing more than a pawn. Aside from a few tricks in bed, you’re less useful than a servant. If something happens to you and it threatens my interests, I will throw you away.”

Lian Ai stared at him in silence. His thoughts were a mess and his words came out broken.

“I… I understand…”

“No. You don’t.” Bu Nian cut him off coldly. “Everything I did before was just to use you. I needed those watching me to lower their guard. It didn’t matter if it was you or someone else. Bai Shu is prettier, smarter, and better in a fight. Now that I have him, I don’t need you anymore.”

He frowned and added, voice laced with disdain, “And your face is ruined. It’s unpleasant to look at. You can’t stay in the General’s Estate.”

The smile at Lian Ai’s lips finally collapsed. That ridiculous hope of his had been shattered in an instant.

He hadn’t wanted to be just a useless bedslave. But in Bu Nian’s eyes, that was all he was. A man with no worth beyond what he could do in bed.

No, maybe not even a person. He had been misled by Bu Nian, blinded to reality. He had truly started to believe he could become someone useful. But he wasn’t. He was nothing more than a plaything, cheap and low, meant only to be toyed with in the palm of someone’s hand.

What little color had returned to his face drained away. “General… are you sending me away?”

Bu Nian stared at him for a long moment. Then, slowly, he reached forward and pulled out the peace-lock from under Lian Ai’s collar.

“Tomorrow, you’ll leave the General’s Estate. I’ll have someone escort you out of the city. Where you go after that is none of my concern.” With a tug, he removed the pendant, then tossed it carelessly to the youth standing behind him. “From today on, this belongs to you.”

Before Lian Ai could react, the pendant was already gone. His eyes followed the glint of silver. As Bu Nian threw it, he had the impulse to reach for it.

The pendant landed in Bai Shu’s hands. He caught it and held it carefully, then bowed his head. “Yes.”

He was deeply uncomfortable, but he couldn’t leave, so he tried his best to pretend he was not there.

Bu Nian caught Lian Ai’s thin wrist and gently laid it back under the blanket.

He did not let go immediately. His fingers pressed against the cold skin on the back of Lian Ai’s hand.

“Don’t covet what was never meant for you.”

Then he stood and left the room without looking back, not even once.

As soon as he walked out, Bai Shu followed at once, as if freed from a sentence.

Once the two were gone, the room fell silent.

Bu Nian’s voice still echoed faintly in Lian Ai’s ears. He stared up at the dim canopy above him. The light in his eyes dimmed as well, like a veil of ash had fallen over them.

After a long moment, he raised his good hand and laid it across his eyes.

“This is better…”

This was… enough.