OPDPS 130

“This… I wasn’t expecting that reaction.”

The Grand Duke opened his mouth a few times, unsure of where to even begin.

“When Your Grace and Lady Merel heard the late Grand Duke declare his successor… why did you both believe he meant it? He could’ve just been angry and said it in the heat of the moment.”

Aeryl offered the question to help him.

A man so capable at everything else being clumsy only when it came to talking about himself—it felt like proof that he’d never been given a chance. It stirred a kind of sympathy.

“The late Grand Duke always told me I wasn’t enough. That his successor couldn’t be someone like me. He never truly approved of me.”

The previous Grand Duke had judged him against the highest standards in every area: swordsmanship, academics, speech, conduct, manners. It had been overwhelming, but bearable when he was young.

Even when he was scolded so fiercely it brought him to tears, at least it meant expectations were there.

But as he got older, even though Hiello became close to a flawless heir, the late Grand Duke only grew colder. Then came his remarriage to Lady Merel—and the birth of Sorel.

“After that, he started saying outright that I wasn’t suited to be his successor.”

That Hiello was hopeless, and that it’d be better to raise as heir the newborn Sorel from the start.

At his worst, he’d even compare their mothers’ backgrounds to justify it.

“Since he always said things like that, it’s no wonder you and Lady Merel both believed it.”

“I don’t remember that time very well. I think I was dragged off to my room.”

He’d shut himself in for days. Couldn’t even remember what he’d done during that time.

“I was born to be my father’s successor. But now I was useless. What else was I supposed to do? I had a bit of a fever, slept a lot, I think.”

He said it casually, but Aeryl didn’t take it lightly.

Born to be the successor…

To say that so naturally—he must’ve heard it constantly since he was a child.

It was impossible to imagine how much it hurt when he was stripped of that title.

Maybe, if things had gone as they were meant to, that’s when Hiello would’ve manifested.

But then news came of the previous Grand Duke’s death—and he had no choice but to fight.

“What was it like for you then?”

“A disaster.”

Even now, he frowned as if the memory was unbearable.

The Grand Duke Asirion had died in the midst of the Great Purge. His death led to the complete collapse of the purge unit—every member perished. The entire operation ended in failure.

The monsters that hadn’t been purged would now survive the winter and feast on the local people.

Then there was the winter itself.

Without the Grand Duke to manage everything, preparations couldn’t move forward.

“At that rate, we’d all freeze or starve to death.”

And then the Emperor got involved.

Back then, the Emperor had more energy than he did now. Seizing the opportunity, he sent grain and soldiers to “assist” the ducal house.

“A chaotic situation indeed.”

It was obvious to anyone—he was exploiting a moment of weakness to gain advantage.

In the middle of someone else’s funeral, no less.

Aeryl, who thought he couldn’t possibly be more disappointed in the Emperor, found that man’s character sank even lower.

“Yes. I thought—it was time for a decision.”

The successor chosen by the late Grand Duke was Sorel, a one-year-old baby at the time.

Which meant his wife, Lady Merel, would have to rule in his place. But she had no training in governance.

Hiello could already see it—the northern nobles behind her pulling the strings and manipulating her as they pleased.

“At the time, I felt like I was the only one who could put things in order.”

While Lady Merel mourned, Hiello acted quickly.

Since he was still the official successor in the public eye, no one opposed him.

He succeeded the Grand Duke Asirion—and inherited everything of the ducal house.

“How did it feel?” Aeryl asked.

“Let’s see… I think all I thought was—I have to do it.”

His expression turned vague.

As with many raised under pressure, the Grand Duke had grown numb to his own feelings.

“I remember wanting to become the perfect Grand Duke Asirion my father had always talked about.”

He’d heard it so much as a child that it felt like the only right answer.

To be a ruler who was always cold, always calculating.

The strongest warrior.

A lord both feared and revered.

To become that man, he had to kill his emotions.

He forgot fear. He erased the desire to feel at ease.

He discarded personal opinions and ruled with strict rewards and punishments.

He honed his body and focused solely on what was required of the Grand Duke Asirion.

“Still, this position originally belonged to Sorel. I only intended to hold it until he came of age.”

“Pardon? Then what about you, Your Grace?”

“I’ll confess my crime of usurpation and accept punishment.”

The Grand Duke spoke with complete composure.

“It’s something I decided long ago.”

To him, Sorel was the only rightful successor.

But with Lady Merel still present, and because he wanted Sorel to grow up more freely—with his mother, unlike himself—he had deliberately chosen not to interfere.

“So I had no intention of courting you either…”

To become the lover of a usurper would only bring unhappiness.

He could never marry, never have children.

How could he speak of love, or ask someone to stay at his side, knowing that?

So he had denied his feelings, tried to forget them.

And when he couldn’t, he tried to hide them.

He’d failed at every turn.

But once he realized Aeryl liked him—he could no longer hold back.

‘The person I love… loves me back.’

A miracle in this worthless life—how could he let it go?

“I couldn’t give up. So I decided to lay everything bare. To let you decide.”

And yet, once he came to, he found himself doing everything he could to seduce Aeryl.

He was realizing all too well—love never goes according to plan.

“…”

Aeryl couldn’t say anything after hearing all of it.

He had never imagined the Grand Duke lived with such thoughts.

At the same time, the image of him driving even himself like a tool came back.

Now, he could understand how the Grand Duke had lived.

The ducal house passed from the previous Grand Duke to Sorel.

Hiello Asirion existed only to hold the line in between—to maintain the house and the domain.

That’s why, even after experiencing an incomplete manifestation, all he worried about was whether he could still fulfill the duties of the Grand Duke Asirion.

Whether he could have children, whether he could engage in physical intimacy, whether there were side effects, or whether his life was in danger—things most would naturally be concerned about—he hadn’t given them much thought.

He never once took care of his personal life outside being the Grand Duke.

Aeryl furrowed his brows and tightened his eyes.

If he didn’t, the ache in his chest would make him cry.

And crying in front of someone who had lived so earnestly—it would feel like disrespect.

Seeing his expression, the Grand Duke turned his hand over and threaded his fingers with Aeryl’s.

“I just said whatever came to mind. I don’t know if that was the answer you wanted. I hope it satisfied you.”

“…”

Aeryl pressed his lips shut as emotion surged inside him.

You think my satisfaction is what matters right now? Really?

This man, honestly…!

“That’s quite a face you’re making.”

The Grand Duke smiled and lightly kissed Aeryl’s forehead.

Aeryl’s brow creased even deeper.

“Are you holding back right now?”

Aeryl nodded.

His jaw was so tense it looked like a walnut was lodged in it.

“You don’t have to hold anything back.”

Aeryl shook his head.

Thinking of the hardships the Grand Duke must have endured and the years he bore them alone—it made him ache with sorrow.

But seeing how he had overcome them all—how he had endured—it made Aeryl feel proud and moved.

At the same time, he was ashamed of not being more considerate of him.

And the fact that he was still hiding his own secret—it felt petty, cowardly.

Every emotion came crashing in at once.

He’d never felt like this before. He didn’t even know what he was going to do next.

He wanted to do something to this man.

Anything, everything. But he held back.

“Aeryl. Don’t hold back.”

The Grand Duke said it softly, and the sound sank into Aeryl’s ears.

At the same time, his pheromones stirred and reached out to Aeryl.

Since Aeryl had been so focused on suppressing his emotions, he hadn’t been guarding against pheromones—

and so he failed to block them.

The Grand Duke’s scent was absorbed through Aeryl’s lungs and skin.

He instantly recognized the overwhelming scent of snow—and before he knew it, his body moved according to the will wrapped within it.

“Mmgh…”

Aeryl burst into tears and pushed the Grand Duke backward.

As the Grand Duke fell onto his back, Aeryl climbed on top of him.

Then, grabbing the Grand Duke’s head with both hands, he began to roughly stroke his hair—like one might praise a child or a dog.

“What are you doing, Aeryl?”

The Grand Duke looked up at him in confusion.

Tears streamed from Aeryl’s eyes, dripping off his glasses onto the man’s face.

“You deserve praise, Your Grace.”