TOPWL 114

Yudit had a dream from the past and for a while, he couldn’t get out of bed. His whole body ached, as if someone had beaten him with a hammer. Curled up and whimpering, he flinched when someone hastily lit a candle. The light filled the room, and a bit of the fear ebbed away.

“Yudit, are you alright?”

Yudit looked up at Khalid, his eyes brimming with tears.

“…Khalid? How are you here?”

He should’ve been in the village chief’s annex. But this was the inn where Yudit was staying. Khalid placed a hand on Yudit’s forehead and clicked his tongue softly.

“You’ve got a slight fever. How could I possibly sleep easy over there knowing the state you’re in?”

“But the banquet…”

“I was there for the beginning, so don’t worry. Besides, it’s proper for someone of rank to withdraw after a while.”

Only then did Yudit relax and sink back into bed. Khalid soaked a towel in water and gently wiped the sweat from Yudit’s brow and cheeks.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

“It was just… a dream from the past. One with my nanny in it.”

“Then it was a nightmare.”

Khalid said it with such certainty that Yudit couldn’t help but let out a faint smile. It had been so long since he’d thought about it, burdened by the belief that he must never speak of her. But the nanny’s name had been Sophie.

“I know you always tried to protect that woman, but you should’ve cut ties long ago.”

“…”

“You let the woman who ruined your life shame you right to the end. That should never have happened.”

Yudit shut his eyes tight. He knew that, too.

“She was… my family.”

“Really? Because I don’t think she ever saw you that way.”

For some reason, Khalid’s words stung more than usual today. Yudit brushed away his hand and glared up at him.

“If someone who feeds you poison still counts as family, then I would’ve burned them and the house down a long time ago.”

“For a very long time… I had no one but my nanny. In that palace, the only one who ever stayed by my side, who looked after me… was her. That’s all there is to it.”

Of course, it had been the nanny who made it so. Anyone who showed kindness or warmth to Yudit, she swiftly cut out of his life. In time, the only people left in the Prince’s Palace were those who treated him coldly or indifferently.

So why hadn’t the nanny left him?

The answer was simple. At some point, she realized she couldn’t leave anymore. Having lived comfortably by selling information about Yudit, she had become so deeply entangled that she knew—without him, she couldn’t survive. And if he died, she would be as good as dead too.

From then on, even as she fed him the poison sent by political rivals, she also did everything she could to keep him alive. Her own mother had been skilled with medicines—so it would’ve been easy to adjust the dosage to avoid death. Once she realized that Yudit had been building up resistance by eating poisoned candies, she even started increasing the dosage herself. Enough to make him sick, but never enough to kill him.

Only now did Yudit realize why the look in her eyes earlier had felt so familiar. That gaze, full of resentment. After she realized she could never escape the palace alive, she would sometimes come to his chamber in the dead of night and stare down at him like she meant to kill him. How it must have burned her up inside, having to keep alive the very boy who had ruined her life.

During those nights, Yudit always pretended to sleep—but deep inside, he desperately prayed that her hands were empty of knives.

And then, in the end, he cast her out. He had grabbed onto Khalid, the sturdy rope that saved him, and cut loose the tightrope walker who had teetered beside him for so long.

He had given her a sum large enough to hire attendants and bodyguards as severance pay, but not enough to fend off assassins sent by Reginald or Hiore. The nanny must have been seized with dread. For someone like Reginald, manipulating her would’ve been as easy as twisting a child’s wrist.

“…Even if she’d tried to kill me, I think I still would’ve understood.”

“You may as well have handed her your life,” Khalid muttered in disbelief.

“If I were alone, maybe I would have. But now… I have people I must protect.”

If Yudit disappeared, the people of the slums would no longer be safe. They had no citizenship in Adanauer. If things went badly, they could be driven out to the war-torn outskirts. Yudit was their only shield, however fragile.

In truth, part of why he felt responsible for the nanny’s death was because the reason he cast her out—was, even to him, a bit petty. The moment he’d seen her secretly wearing the sapphire ring, the memory of that day had felt sullied beyond repair.

Even before that, their relationship had been like an overfilled cup of water, trembling on the edge. That final drop had been the excuse he needed to let her go—and he couldn’t deny it.

Just then, Khalid pulled him into an embrace, perfectly timed. As Yudit sank into his broad chest, his breath came easier. He closed his eyes, tucked safely in that firm hold. Khalid’s scent eased his heart, and sleepiness soon crept over him. He nodded off, head drooping, only to jolt awake again.

Khalid held him tighter, patting his back gently.

“Sleep more. I’ll stay by your side until morning.”

“…Thank you.”

The moment Yudit heard those words, he fell asleep as if he had passed out. Khalid gazed quietly at Yudit’s pale face. Even in this situation, the way he found himself stirred by him left Khalid feeling a little ashamed.

He patted Yudit gently for a long while, until he was sure the other had fallen into a deep sleep. Then, with slow care, he pulled his arm out from under him. Replacing it with a pillow, Khalid noticed the faint trace of tears clinging to Yudit’s eyes.

Poor thing.

He wiped the tears away with his thumb, then stood up.

Opening the door and stepping out, Khalid turned the handle to close it, but deliberately left a slight crack. A subordinate who had been waiting approached him.

“How did the newspaper article go?”

“We succeeded in placing the ‘Dire Bear’ story on the front page of 29 out of 34 newspapers.”

“And the rest?”

“Negotiations are still underway, but it seems unlikely that The Adanauer Times or The Empire’s Light will agree.”

Khalid frowned and pressed his fingers to his temples. Both The Adanauer Times and The Empire’s Light were papers run directly by the Imperial Family. He hadn’t expected smooth negotiations with them anyway, so he told the man before him,

“Then tell them this: If they insist on running that article, we’ll publish one stating that it was Prince Reginald who killed the woman.”

“Is that just a bluff?”

“No. I’ll run it in the three newspapers I own. Have the article ready.”

At Khalid’s words, the subordinate’s eyelids twitched slightly in surprise, but he bowed his head in obedience.

“Yes, sir.”

As the man left to send a carrier pigeon, Khalid returned to the room, careful not to make a sound with the door.

Yudit was still sound asleep. Khalid had considered giving him medicine if he couldn’t fall asleep, but he’d managed just fine on his own. Good boy. Though from time to time, Yudit whimpered in his sleep—still caught in a nightmare.

Khalid brushed the sweat-dampened hair from his face and gazed at him with a tender look.

He, too, could understand a little of the loneliness Yudit must have felt. With his mother gone, of course he would’ve wanted to imprint on someone. Like a hatchling. What must it have been like—to reach out for someone, knowing they were poisoning you?

It was a foolish thing to do. But when he imagined it as something Yudit had done, it made his heart ache. Just the thought of what Yudit had suffered in the past was enough to bring him pain. Love, truly, was a bothersome thing.

“…Don’t go…”

Yudit reached out into the empty air. Khalid thought for a moment he’d woken, but it was just sleep-talking.

“Please…”

Tears began to spill from Yudit’s eyes, thick and sorrowful. Khalid gave him a gentle shake to wake him.

“Yudit.”

“Someone… please…”

“Yudit, it’s all just a dream.”

“…Stay with me…”

His hand, hovering midair, dropped limply to his side. Had someone come to him in the dream, or had he simply given up?

Khalid pulled him into a fierce embrace. It should’ve been suffocating, but Yudit didn’t resist. On the contrary, as if finally feeling safe, his crying began to subside.

“Such a handful, aren’t you,” Khalid murmured with a sigh as he patted Yudit in his arms.

The hand that had been fumbling at the sheets finally found Khalid and gripped him tightly. Even in his sleep, the strength of his hold was firm. That desperate gesture made Khalid’s heart ache.

Are you mourning your nanny? Or mourning that the one who abused you has died?

She had never once protected him, despite wearing the title of guardian. And yet, had he still wanted her by his side so badly, just because he was that lonely?

Then from now on—I will be that person for you.

Not someone who sells you out for his own safety. I will be your arms and legs that cannot be cut off. Stronger than your heart, I will be the limbs that protect you no matter what.

So cry—just for tonight. After that, think only of me. Lean on me. Trust me.

Khalid pressed a kiss to the tear clinging to the corner of Yudit’s eye and closed his own. There was a faint sweetness to it.