TOPWL 146

“Why… why are you following me?”

“I just want to speak with you for a moment.”

“I don’t want to.”

“It won’t take long.”

After making sure no one else was around, Yvonne glared at Yudit and asked,

“What is it you’re so curious about?”

“Bonin…”

The moment he said the name, Yvonne clamped her hand over Yudit’s mouth. To cover a prince’s mouth—such rudeness should never have been allowed, but she looked so desperate that he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Without another word, Yvonne dragged Yudit into her room.

Only after she slammed the door shut and drew the curtains over the windows did she finally release the breath she had been holding. Her previously pale cheeks were now flushed red—more color than usual, and in a way, it made her look healthier. Still glaring at Yudit, Yvonne finally spoke.

“That’s right. I’m Bonin.”

At the unexpected confession, Yudit’s eyes widened.

“Did you come to threaten me with that?”

“…”

Seeing the look of surprise on Yudit’s face, Yvonne furrowed her brow.

“Why are you making that face… Wait. What were you going to ask me?”

“Uh… I was just wondering if you happened to know Bonin. That’s all I meant to ask.”

“…”

Realizing the situation, Yvonne sank to the floor and clutched her head. Yudit reached out to her, wearing an awkward expression.

“A-Are you alright?”

“No, I’m not alright. I was so damn stupid, I want to bash my own skull in.”

That vulgar speech—he hadn’t heard her talk like that in a long time, and oddly, it was kind of comforting. Yudit crouched down beside her and tried to console her.

“I had my suspicions, so don’t beat yourself up too much.”

“How much suspicion are we talking about here?”

“Mm… maybe around sixty or seventy percent?”

“And why is that?”

Yudit hesitated a moment, then began counting on his fingers.

“First, it was the argument you had with Selena. You reacted pretty strongly—almost too strongly. It stood out. And then you looked embarrassed. Second, I noticed it while reading the book. The northern setting came up more often than expected, so I started wondering if you might know the author. Third, the phrasing. Some of the expressions in the book sounded just like things you said back when we had discussions.”

“When did I ever have a discussion with Your Highness?”

At her question, Yudit gave a dry smile.

“When we were both Aldrich’s students.”

“That was nearly ten years ago. You still remember the words I used back then?”

“Some of them. Especially this part from <Strawberry Field Romance>: ‘What do humans live for? Some may say food, clothing, and shelter. But I…’”

“Stop, stop, please stop. If you say one more word, I might just die on the spot.”

Yudit gave her a sheepish smile. Yvonne placed a hand to her forehead as if it ached.

“Is there anyone else besides Your Highness who suspects me?”

“Probably not.”

Relieved, Yvonne let out a deep breath and clutched at her chest.

Then, all of a sudden, she turned to Yudit with a desperate plea.

“Please… keep this a secret. If you want, I’ll even lick your toes.”

“No need to go that far… I won’t tell anyone.”

Even with his reassurance, Yvonne didn’t look entirely convinced.

“So, what kind of business did you have with Bonin, anyway?”

“Oh, I was hoping to ask if Bonin might be willing to publish a book.”

“A publication?”

“Yes. But since you’re the author, that makes things even better. Yvonne, are you thinking about writing more?”

Looking surprised, Yvonne replied,

“I didn’t know Your Highness was running a publishing house.”

“Strictly speaking, it’s not mine. It belongs to Khalid—Duke Meyer, I mean. It’s called Spring in Winter. I believe you’ve had some dealings with it before.”

Yvonne furrowed her brow, looking as if she were trying to recall something, then let out a small ah.

“I remember now. I published my first book with them. After coming up to the capital, I worked with another company, but… no wonder they always paid me so handsomely—it was the Duke’s publishing house.”

After biting her dry lips in hesitation, Yvonne brought over a bag nearly half her size and set it down in front of Yudit.

“What’s this?”

“Writings from when I was confined. There are novels, and essays too. I brought them just in case… and maybe they’ll be of some use.”

Yudit opened the bag and looked inside. It was stuffed with notebooks and papers, densely packed. It looked more like twenty years’ worth than just seven.

“There’s… a lot.”

“There was nothing to do in the tower. I felt like I’d explode if I didn’t write. If it’s too much, I can pick out a few that might be useful.”

“No, I want to read all of it.”

He pulled the bag into his arms like it was already his. Yvonne hesitated, then said,

“Please, don’t read it in front of that Selena woman.”

“…Why? If Selena finds out you’re Bonin, she’ll be overjoyed.”

“That’s exactly the problem. I absolutely, absolutely don’t want that.”

Her expression was so full of horror that Yudit tilted his head.

“Why? It’s not like you hate her.”

“I don’t. But… it’s embarrassing! And overwhelming. And… if she finds out what kind of person I am, she’ll be disappointed.”

“What kind of person are you, exactly?”

“A woman who spent seven years locked away in a tower. Who achieved nothing.”

“That wasn’t your fault. And how can you say you achieved nothing? You survived, and you wrote.”

Yvonne bit her lip at that.

“You’ll understand once you read it. I’m… a miserable excuse for a person.”

She spoke in a sunken tone. Glancing between the bag and Yudit, she added softly,

“Come to think of it, Your Highness liked my writing too. Let me apologize now—if you end up not wanting to publish it, that’s alright.”

Then she said she wanted to be alone. Yudit nodded, took the heavy bag, and quietly left her room.

***

The rain didn’t stop. Even the innkeeper said he’d never seen this much rainfall during this time of year. It had been a week since they left the capital. They should’ve arrived at the ducal estate by now, but they were still lingering on the outskirts of the north. After some deliberation, Khalid decided to head out first with a smaller group.

Along with Yudit and Shane, five knights joined them. Selena and Yasin said they would follow after the rain cleared. Inside the carriage, Yudit kept reading Yvonne’s writings. The more he read, the more he began to understand why she had said such things.

After eight months in prison, they were relocated to the tower. Compared to the prison, the tower was a mercy. They each had a room, and even a small backyard. But there was no joy in the move—most of their fellow inmates had been left mentally broken by prison. They refused to share food or water, and sometimes stole what little there was. It was hard to believe these were the greatest minds of their time. Their existence had become miserable and brutish. Two died before winter passed—one from malnutrition, the other from lingering injuries due to torture. In spring, another died—by suicide. Though everyone mourned his death, they also envied him.

Even with three gone, the food rations remained unchanged. One day, a messenger bird from Ernel’s older brother arrived with a bundle of seeds tied to its leg. Everyone pitched in to grow crops. In autumn, their efforts paid off—they harvested more than expected. Someone made a small oven, and they even baked bread. Not a single person could eat that warm bread without breaking down into tears.

As their rations improved to the level of a commoner’s meal, ironically, Yvonne’s situation worsened.

With their basic needs finally met, the others turned toward fulfilling their sexual desires. Of the eight who remained, only two were women. As threats drew closer each day, Yvonne had to make a choice: to abandon her pride and beliefs.

She became Ernel’s woman, and raised him as the de facto leader of the tower. The pitiful seeds his brother occasionally sent, along with Yvonne’s pillow talk, were enough to place the power of the tower in Ernel’s hands. In this way, Yvonne became the queen of the tower—and escaped the threat of rape. No one dared lay a hand on the king’s woman.

But she and Ernel didn’t get along very well. At least, that was Yvonne’s opinion. Ernel probably thought differently—Yvonne had tailored herself to suit him from head to toe.

During that time, the other woman, Beth, was violated by the remaining men. There were three. They took turns raping her. The ideals they had once screamed about—equality, human rights—meant absolutely nothing in that tower.

Yvonne and Beth weren’t particularly close. But they weren’t so distant that Yvonne could ignore what was happening. She begged Ernel to stop them, or at least take Beth under his protection. But Ernel did nothing. He knew full well—if he tried to save Beth, his own position would be at risk.