TOPWL 163

“…What I want?”

A crack appeared in Azil’s ever-smiling expression. He hadn’t expected such a direct question.

Nobles rarely spoke plainly—they were more likely to twist their words three or four times.

Yudit knew how to speak like that, too, but he’d grown up in the slums long enough to prefer being direct. It was simpler.

Yudit was busy. He had taken on too much responsibility in a place he was only meant to stay in briefly.

Even if he worked himself to the bone, it wasn’t enough.

He wanted to wrap this meeting with Azil up quickly, if possible.

“If you’re asking if I want something… yeah, there is.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“To get closer to you, brother.”

Azil said it with a hint of shyness.

There was sincerity in his tone, and it caught Yudit off guard.

“You want to get close to me?”

“Yes. Is that not okay?”

There was nothing wrong with it in theory, but their relationship was too delicate for that.

“Father said so himself. That you’re one of the few who’ll still be alive after I become emperor.”

Yudit’s face went rigid. That was the same as saying the other two wouldn’t make it.

Azil bit into a cookie with a quiet snap and continued.

“You know, don’t you? Not everyone gets to survive. But we’re different.”

Azil was saying: Father said he’d let you live. You could survive.

“Not sure if we really are different,” Yudit replied, his voice unintentionally sharp.

He quickly bit his lip.

Azil stared at his pale lips for a moment, then suddenly asked:

“Brother… are you going to kill me?”

“…What?”

“I don’t want to die. And… I don’t really want to kill you either.”

Azil wiped his mouth with a napkin—one he had brought himself.

“If you’re not trying to kill me, then I probably won’t try to kill you either.”

It was a grim exchange for a pair of siblings.

But Azil smiled brightly at that and said,

“That’s good, then.”

His smiling face bore a strong resemblance to the emperor’s.

Yudit stared at that face in silence.

“There are these twin brothers I’ve heard of… they argue all the time, but they’re always together. I was kind of jealous of that. So I always thought… I’d like to have a brother, just one.”

Azil said it with some awkwardness.

“That’s really all there is to it.”

He stood up.

“I’m busy too, so I’ll be going now. You’ll see me off, won’t you, brother?”

“…Yeah.”

Yudit got up from his seat. As he and Azil stood side by side, their respective guards watched them tensely.

Azil raised a hand to his approaching escort.

“It’s fine. Stay back a bit.”

Azil said nothing as they walked down the hall.

He looked a little subdued.

Was he disappointed to have finally met a brother he could be with—only to be met with coldness?

Looking at Azil’s profile, Yudit felt a twinge of guilt.

As he was debating what to say, Azil spoke first.

“I heard you saved Prince Hiore.”

Yudit inhaled sharply.

There was no use asking how he knew. Azil had informants too—likely the emperor’s own.

As Yudit struggled to reply, Azil smiled warmly.

“It’s alright. I let him live too. So how could I blame you?”

Azil knew Hiore had tried to kill him.

And that Yudit had tried to kill him too.

Yudit often wondered: had that choice been the right one?

“Why did you let Prince Hiore live?”

“Hm…” Azil hesitated for a moment before answering.

“I felt sorry for him.”

“…”

“He won’t even become emperor, and he’s just a puppet under Reginald. It’s not like his assassination attempt even came close to hurting me. He just seemed… pitiful. So I let him go.”

Yudit realized he was slightly shocked.

Azil pitied Hiore. Felt compassion for him. Was that really possible?

When Yudit said nothing, Azil looked at him and asked:

“I can understand what Prince Hiore did, but I don’t really get what you did. Why did you let him live?”

Azil was genuinely curious.

“You let him live too.”

“Oh, sure—but… I saw how they treated you sometimes. I saw you kneeling, begging… You looked truly miserable. You must have hated him enough to want him dead, and yet you saved him—got him surgery and everything. So I just wondered… Why go that far?”

Yudit decided to admit it—he was uncomfortable around Prince Azil. He barely even thought of him as a brother.

Azil probably didn’t truly think of Yudit as a brother either. He had simply wanted to try playing at brotherhood, envious of those who had affectionate siblings nearby.

Someone who brought up topics like that so casually… one Khalid was more than enough.

Khalid was someone who could hurt him—and it would be okay.

Because deep in Khalid’s heart was Yudit, and deep in Yudit’s heart was Khalid.

If one of them was hurt, the other would be hurt and in pain too.

But Azil wasn’t like that.

Everyone in the palace knew that Yudit was tormented by Hiore and Reginald, but very few ever said it out loud.

Only his nanny, maybe Princess Lilia.

That part of his past remained an open wound. He knew it needed to be addressed eventually, but he kept putting it off—there was simply too much to do.

Even now, just thinking about it made the blood rush; the traces of violence still intruded on his daily life from time to time.

And after hearing Azil speak of it so easily, Yudit felt certain—he would never be able to truly grow close to him.

“Hm. Actually, that’s part of why I came…”

Azil spoke as if testing the waters.

He was perceptive.

Anyone whose fate depended on someone else would be.

A person who could read the emperor’s moods and act like a tongue in his mouth wouldn’t miss how suddenly Yudit’s mood had plummeted.

Yet Azil kept pressing for an answer.

It was because he knew—he didn’t need to care about Yudit’s emotions.

To him, Yudit was just a moderately kind and obedient toy, one he could play sibling games with.

If that’s all Yudit was to him, then Yudit didn’t need to cater to his feelings either.

“I see. The way out is that way. Looks like your carriage is already here.”

Yudit changed the subject without hesitation.

Azil looked briefly surprised, as if he hadn’t anticipated this turn, but he quickly recovered and gave a charming smile, shrugging his shoulders.

“Right. I’m glad, though—I found out today that you’re more interesting than I thought. Someone who’s just nice all the time is boring, you know?”

He said it as he stepped into the carriage.

“Let’s meet again sometime, brother.”

“Sure. Let’s.”

At Yudit’s reply, Azil smiled brightly and departed.

It felt like a storm had passed.

Yudit still had a mountain of things to do, but for some reason, his body had no strength left.

As he turned to head back, his knees gave out. He was about to collapse—when someone caught him.

He thought it was Shane and was about to thank him—but it wasn’t Shane.

“Khalid…”

Khalid looked a little angry.

Oddly, that made Yudit feel relieved.

When Yudit leaned into him completely, Khalid lifted him effortlessly into his arms.

He smelled strongly of sweat, likely from training in the arena.

Yudit let his eyes fall shut with a sense of calm.

Khalid carried him to the bedroom.

All traces of last night’s intimacy were gone, and the clean space was filled with a soft, subtle scent.

After laying Yudit gently onto the bed, Khalid stepped back.

“I’ll go wash up. I’m drenched in sweat.”

“…”

“…Yudit?”

Only then did Yudit realize he was clutching Khalid’s sleeve.

Startled, he let go in a hurry.

“Sorry… I didn’t notice.”

“It’s fine. Should I stay?”

Khalid looked down at him, worried by the unusual behavior.

“No… I’m fine. You should wash up.”

After a short hesitation, Yudit added,

“But… can I join you?”

“Of course. Come here.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Khalid came over, scooped Yudit into his arms, and carried him to the bathroom.