TOPWL 166

“Pavron. It’s been a while.”

“May I sit with you?”

Pavron, holding bread and milk, spoke. Yudit nodded and made space for him.

“Of course. Sit here.”

He had been wondering how Pavron was doing, so this was a welcome encounter.

“Pavron, how have you been?”

“I’ve been well. The days trapped in the tower feel like a dream now. Though I do still have nightmares of being captured again from time to time.”

Pavron said it jokingly, but Yudit couldn’t bring himself to laugh.

“Have you considered speaking to someone about it?”

“I’m all right. It’s only occasional, and I’ve gotten much better. Truly.”

“If there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

“It’s reassuring to hear that from Your Highness.”

Pavron took a bite of bread and nodded.

“This is delicious.”

“Isn’t it? It tastes even better when everyone bakes together.”

“That’s true. When I first came here, I never imagined it would become a place like this. It’s grown surprisingly lively.”

The children had already finished eating and were now running around the playground. Yudit watched them play on the now-numerous strange play structures with a pleased look.

“How is it being a teacher? Isn’t it hard working every day?”

“Every day? I work five days and rest two, so it feels like heaven. The children are adorable, and they actually enjoy studying. When I see their sparkling eyes, I want to teach them even more. Though they hate that, of course.”

“I can’t help that either.”

Yudit laughed quietly. The children liked him, but that didn’t mean they liked the lessons.

“But you can really tell when a child has grown up without much.”

“…Excuse me?”

Yudit couldn’t hide his discomfort at Pavron’s words. Though he spoke in a hushed voice, children who liked to eavesdrop on teachers’ conversations were always around. Yudit looked around, but thankfully it seemed no one had heard.

“You should be careful saying things like that.”

“Oh dear, I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

“It did. So it would be better if you didn’t say such things.”

“Ah. You’re truly upset. I was just feeling a bit bitter.”

“Bitter about what?”

“Some of the children didn’t grow up with love—some have no parents or very busy ones—and they crave affection. Instead of just asking for it, they often lie or pretend to be sad. It’s not just one or two, it’s a real problem.”

“Is that so…”

“Yes. Especially that child, Luka, he’s particularly bad.”

“Luka?”

Yudit recognized the name. Pavron nodded with a bitter expression.

“He lost his parents and lives with his uncle. He always takes more bread than his share, probably because he doesn’t get fed well. Even if they do feed him, I’m sure it’s with resentment. I felt bad, so I tried being kind a few times, and I guess he got attached. He started saying strange things.”

“Strange things?”

“Yes. Like saying he got that scratch because his uncle hit him. It even led to a home visit, and I almost got into trouble.”

“I see.”

“He lies so often that I think Your Highness would do well not to believe most of what he says.”

“…Right.”

Yudit felt an odd discomfort in his mouth. Luka didn’t seem like that kind of child. As he thought back, he remembered that in the past, he too had exaggerated pain from small wounds just because he liked being worried over.

“He didn’t seem like a bad child to me.”

“Oh my. So Your Highness is the type who lights up when he sees a pretty face? That boy is unusually good-looking, like an angel. He flutters around sweetly, none of the teachers have been immune to him. That’s why I’m warning you ahead of time.”

“…Right.”

What was supposed to be a pleasant meal had become far from enjoyable. Yudit quietly finished his bread and milk and stood up.

“Leaving already?”

“Yes.”

“Take care on your way.”

Yudit acknowledged Pavron’s farewell and left. He was planning to head home and continue his work, but upon returning, he realized Khalid wasn’t there. Khalid had kissed his forehead at dawn and left. Yudit suddenly missed him terribly. It was a strange thing. He had lived far longer without seeing him, and yet now even a short separation made him ache with longing. As he thought of the castle without Khalid, Yudit felt a strange loneliness and changed direction, beginning to walk down the corridor.

The school had changed again. It used to be fairly neat, but now it had become… colorful, perhaps? The carpenters and stonemasons hadn’t stopped at sculptures but had remodeled the entire school. They had accidentally used wood and stone of mismatched colors, which stood out. Someone suggested, ‘Why not just paint it all colorfully, then?’ and Khalid approved.

Painters sketched, and the children painted along with them. Because it was done with children’s hands, it was a bit clumsy at first, but once the adults touched it up, it became a one-of-a-kind school like no other. He had worried that making a nice school too patchy would ruin it, but the result was satisfying. The children seemed to like the murals too—during breaks, they would come outside and proudly show off the parts they’d painted.

As Yudit walked while looking at those pictures, the heaviness in his heart lifted. Just when he thought it was about time to head back, he noticed that a classroom window had been left open. There had been talk of rain in the evening. Yudit hesitated for a moment, then opened the door and stepped inside. After closing the door and locking it, he slowly looked around the classroom. It was for younger students, so the desks and chairs were small. As he gently brushed a desk, he noticed a pile of notebooks on the teacher’s podium. Thinking they might have been forgotten, he considered taking them to the teachers’ office and opened one.

Today we had bread and milk for lunch. It was really delicious. But I thought of my little brother. I wish I could give him some too. But I can’t. Because my little brother is in an orphanage. I miss him.

Yudit realized it was a diary. The awkward handwriting was pressed in with care. On the cover, he saw the name Luka written. So it was Luka’s diary. After a moment of hesitation, Yudit opened it again.

Today we had cream stew. It was really good. I hope we have it again. I like going to school. When I’m not home, Aunt hits me less. I wish we had school at night too.

Most entries were about food or family. A teacher had even left a note suggesting writing about something other than food. As Yudit read with a smile, his expression froze.

Uncle keeps touching me. But Aunt hates me. I wish I would disappear.

It was unbelievable. No, he didn’t want to believe it. Luka was a boy. And yet… Yudit bit his lip. He hesitated before turning the page. But it was blank except for the date. He turned to the next one. And the next. Luka had stopped writing. A teacher had even left a note urging him to write something. Then one day, Luka wrote again.

It’s better when the teacher touches me than when Uncle does. But I still wish he wouldn’t. I just like it when he pats my head.

Was that a dream? People might misunderstand, so it’s better not to write things like that in your diary, okay?

It wasn’t a dream… Teacher touched me. Today too.

Teacher didn’t do anything like that. If you keep lying, that makes you a bad kid. Understand?

I don’t know who the bad person is.

The teacher left no reply after that. Yudit was confused. Who was lying?

‘He lies so often that I think Your Highness would do well not to believe most of what he says.’

Yudit clutched his face. The diary had become a battlefield. Before he knew it, he was at the final page.

I decided not to write in this diary anymore. Because I’m not a liar. But teacher says I am. That makes me sad.

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The teacher’s last comment had been blacked out. It looked like something had been written and then scratched out. Yudit squinted to try and see what it was, but he couldn’t make it out. Just then, he heard footsteps approaching. He flinched like someone caught doing something wrong. Soon the door opened, and there stood Pavron.