RACA 104

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I don’t have any lingering feelings now, but I think you might still want to do more.”

“You said you’re done. So why are you telling me to do it?”

“Because you want to.”

Why did he say it like it was so obvious?

Eunsol almost argued, but he closed his mouth when he saw Jaebeom’s serious expression. He felt like he might miss something important if he answered carelessly.

‘Do I… want to?’

The reason he first dreamed of becoming an actor was because of Pyo Jaebeom’s acting.

To be exact, he wanted to appear in the same dramas and movies as him.

So he ran toward every opportunity he could find, no matter the role.

Even when people mocked him for bad acting, even when he spent hours waiting without filming a single scene, even when the scenes he worked hard on were edited out and never made it on TV, it didn’t matter.

Because he enjoyed acting.

Even when Jaebeom wasn’t there.

“So I mean…”

Eunsol went over his past one step at a time. It wasn’t as if he only participated in projects Jaebeom appeared in. Was acting dull at those times?

‘No.’

Even if he only played small roles like a convenience store clerk, delivery worker, courier, or office colleague 1, each one was precious to him.

At some point, he even started to want bigger roles.

‘Of course, when I joked about it to a coworker, they told me I was overreaching when I can’t even act properly.’

But he didn’t mind.

Acting made him happy, and just watching other actors lead their characters taught him a lot.

While imagining how he would’ve done it instead, he realized he had become someone completely different from the person who used to watch TV without thinking.

So if he was given that chance again…

“I’m not telling you to decide right now. Take your time and think about it.”

Eunsol turned his eyes to Jaebeom. He wasn’t forcing him, he was giving him room. Rather than pushing, he waited patiently so Eunsol could speak when he was ready. But his heart somehow felt rushed.

Maybe Jaebeom noticed, because he added,

“You only just had the twins. Spend time with the babies, recover your body, and take it easy.”

“Ah…”

Only then did Eunsol look around.

The twins had been taken back to the nursery, and only he and Jaebeom were left in the hospital room.

“There’s no need to decide in a hurry.”

His hand slowly brushed over Eunsol’s face. His touch was warm and careful, and Eunsol couldn’t help but nod.

He was right.

Right now, there was no pressure to do anything. He had someone by his side who would stay with him. He had a family to build with Jaebeom, so there was really no need to rush.

That thought made his heart feel lighter. Eunsol’s eyelids fluttered slowly, then finally closed completely.

In the quiet hospital room, Jaebeom looked at his sleeping face for a long time, then gently tucked his hair back with his fingertips.

***

Life at the hospital seemed slow yet hectic. The twins, who spent one more day in the nursery, were brought to the hospital room the next morning.

After that, it was like a battlefield.

Since Eunsol needed to focus on recovery, Jaebeom received lessons from the nurse on how to take care of the twins, how to feed them formula, how to change diapers, and so on.

The alpha, who was naturally good at handling things, picked everything up quickly and even earned the nurse’s praise.

But the real challenge came at night.

“Waa, waaah, waah.”

One of the sleeping twins suddenly started crying.

“Mm…”

Eunsol groaned and barely opened his eyes, but Jaebeom immediately got up at the first sound of the cry.

“Don’t get up. I’ll take care of it.”

Eunsol, who had started to sit up, turned his head to watch him instead.

His expression was serious as he held the crying baby, but his movements looked awkward.

The sight made him laugh.

“What’s wrong with Beomwoo?”

“The diaper’s wet. I think he peed.”

Hearing Pyo Jaebeom say “pee” out loud made Eunsol burst into laughter.

When he couldn’t hold it in, Jaebeom raised his eyebrow.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. But can you manage alone? Should we call the nurse?”

“No. I’ll do it. I learned earlier. Once I learn something, I don’t forget.”

He sounded confident, but his fingers were stiff with nervousness. Eunsol teased him silently in his head.

That’s only true when you’re acting.

“I’m not worried. I know you’ll do fine.”

He turned fully onto his side and watched properly this time.

“Waa, waaah, waah.”

Beomwoo twisted his body and cried even louder, unhappy with his wet diaper.

Jaebeom’s face tensed slightly as he looked down at the baby.

“Alright, let’s see…”

He hardly ever talked to himself, but now he murmured while undressing the baby and unfastening the diaper.

His movements were slow and careful, as if he was handling something precious.

Even in the dim light, it was clear that the diaper was full. Jaebeom inhaled quietly for a moment.

“No wonder he was crying.”

“Was it that wet?”

“Yeah.”

Jaebeom folded the diaper, pulled out a handful of baby wipes, and carefully brought his hand toward the baby’s bottom. But maybe the baby noticed how awkward his touch was.

“Waaah.”

Beomwoo started crying even louder and wiggled restlessly.

“Wait a second. No, stay still.”

Despite Jaebeom’s words, the baby showed no sign of calming down. Instead, his twin, Eunwoo, started crying too after hearing his brother’s wails.

“Oh, I’ll take care of Eunwoo.”

Seeing Jaebeom sweating as he wrestled with Beomwoo, Eunsol finally sat up.

“Sorry. Just pat him a little. Don’t pick him up.”

Even then, Jaebeom made sure he didn’t strain himself, and that made him feel reassured. But his hands were clumsy when handling the baby.

After managing to wipe Beomwoo’s bottom, Jaebeom pulled out a new diaper.

Meanwhile, Eunsol looked at Eunwoo, who was shedding big tears.

“Our gentle Eunwoo. Why are you crying? Hm? Is it because Beomwoo’s crying? He’s not hurt. We’re just changing his diaper. You’ll get yours changed soon too, so don’t cry, okay? Shh.”

The twins looked identical, but their personalities were different.

Beomwoo was curious and expressive, with a wide range of facial expressions. He cried easily too.

Eunwoo was also curious, his eyes always darting around, but his face hardly ever changed, and he rarely cried.

When Eunsol first noticed that difference, he had felt proud that he’d chosen such fitting names for them.¹

But even with all those differences, twins were still twins, if one cried, the other followed.

Because of that, Jaebeom, who handled most of the childcare, often ended up completely drained.

“Ah!”

It happened while Eunsol was lost in thought, gently patting the baby’s belly.

Suddenly, a short exclamation came from beside him.

He quickly turned his head to see Jaebeom standing there awkwardly with both arms spread out.

He looked frozen, his expression blank.

When he looked closer, he realized Jaebeom’s face was damp all over.

“Oh, Jaebeom-ssi.”

Jaebeom sighed, grabbed some wipes, and wiped his face. Eunsol noticed the half-hanging diaper caught on the baby’s leg.

Then Beomwoo kicked it off completely, flinging it to the floor like it was in his way. That was enough for Eunsol to figure out what had just happened.

“Don’t tell me… he peed?”

That had to be it. When he saw Jaebeom’s face crumple, he burst out laughing.

“Ahaha… hahaha!”

His laughter filled the hospital room while Jaebeom quietly picked up the diaper from the floor and reached for a new one.

“Pyo Beomwoo. If you keep this up, you’re going to sleep without a diaper.”

His stern tone had no effect at all.

Beomwoo, pleased with the cool air on his skin, just kicked his legs and blinked.

“I think he’s the one who gave you the hardest time in your belly.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Look how mischievous he is. There’s no doubt.”

“What about it?”

“From now on, I’m going to be the one to take care of these little troublemakers.”

Jaebeom nodded seriously.

“Why say that like it’s some big decision?”

“I mean it. From now on, I’ll handle everything. You don’t lift a finger.”

At his unexpected declaration, Eunsol’s laughter stopped. He lifted his head and looked at Jaebeom.

In just one day, he had changed.

The always tidy alpha now had messy hair, and his chest and stomach were speckled with drops of baby pee.

Holding a crumpled diaper in his hand, he stood there with unwavering eyes. He looked ridiculous and yet somehow reliable.

Eunsol smiled quietly and whispered,

“Alright. I’ll trust you, Jaebeom-ssi.”

1. 은 (Eun) can mean grace, silver, or kindness depending on the hanja (恩 for grace/kindness, 銀 for silver).
   범 (Beom) can mean model/example, law, or tiger, depending on the hanja (範, 法, or 虎).
   우 (Woo) can mean friend, universe, rain, or help/protection depending on the hanja (友, 宇, 雨, 祐, respectively). ↩︎