TSBDRA 47: What Kind of Men Do You Like?

Xu Xishuang suddenly fell silent.

If Yan Yushan were in his usual clear-headed state, with his high emotional intelligence, he would have immediately realized that Xu Xishuang hadn’t prepared a gift for him. Though disappointed, he would’ve brushed the topic aside to avoid making things awkward for both of them.

But drunk Yan Yushan was unusually persistent. He stared straight at Xu Xishuang, flipped his hand to grip Xu Xishuang’s wrist that had been holding him, pulled him a bit closer, and doggedly pressed on, “Where’s my gift?”

Faced with Yan Yushan’s aggrieved gaze, Xu Xishuang’s whole body went numb.

He hadn’t expected Yan Yushan to have a completely different side when drunk. Last time he was drunk—perhaps due to something he had taken—he was like a wild beast, aggressive and full of desire, even more intense than any predator.

The Yan Yushan now seemed more like a well-behaved dog squatting by the roadside, non-threatening on the surface, even wagging his tail slightly in hope, looking at him with eyes that said, “Take me home.”

Xu Xishuang was startled by his own imagination, but he was always softer toward gentleness than force. He hesitated for a moment, and before his words passed through his brain, they slipped out, “I do… I do have a gift. Just wait.”

The moment he said it, Xu Xishuang regretted it and wanted to bite his tongue. Standing there, with his hand still tightly gripped by Yan Yushan, he had no way to back out.

His mind spun furiously before he finally remembered he had something on him that he could give away. Reluctantly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a peace charm he had bought online.

He had purchased the charm shortly after finding out he was pregnant, from a shop said to be very effective. The shop only sold the charms in pairs—not individually. When he asked customer service, they said it worked best when worn close to the body by family, friends, or lovers, so single purchases weren’t allowed.

Left with no choice, Xu Xishuang had bought both and kept them himself. Now, with Yan Yushan unexpectedly asking for a gift, those charms were all he had on him.

He told himself that this was just to placate a drunk man. After all, it was the drunkard’s birthday today.

The charm was wrapped in a small red triangular pouch. Xu Xishuang handed it to Yan Yushan. “Here. A gift.”

Yan Yushan stared at the little red thing in Xu Xishuang’s palm for a while, as if he didn’t recognize it. He didn’t reach for it, but also didn’t let go of Xu Xishuang’s wrist, still holding him in place.

Xu Xishuang thought he didn’t want it and got annoyed. 

If you don’t want it, fine—I don’t even want to give it. 

He was about to pull his hand back when Yan Yushan took the charm from his palm with his other hand and carefully placed it in the breast pocket of his shirt, close to his heart.

Yan Yushan sounded pleased and murmured, “Thank you.”

Xu Xishuang’s fingers curled slightly as he withdrew his hand.

“Let’s go,” he said, turning his head without looking at Yan Yushan. “Go wash up and get to bed early… You can shower on your own, right?”

After a pause, Yan Yushan’s voice came from behind. “Yeah.”

Xu Xishuang let out a breath of relief. Though he and Yan Yushan were just friends now, he’d already told him about his orientation. Considering they had slept together and that Yan Yushan was the protagonist “gong” in a danmei novel—Xu Xishuang figured Yan Yushan wasn’t straight either. Helping him bathe was clearly overstepping.

If Yan Yushan could bathe by himself, that was ideal. Xu Xishuang would just see him in his room and leave.

With the gift now given, Yan Yushan quieted down again and followed Xu Xishuang into the hotel elevator.

Only the two of them were inside. Xu Xishuang stared blankly at the slowly increasing numbers on the elevator panel when he suddenly noticed a large shadow fall over him. Instinctively, he turned to see Yan Yushan practically pressed up against him.

Yan Yushan leaned in closer, lowering his head.

Seeing his face getting nearer, Xu Xishuang’s scalp tingled. He instinctively took a step back, bumping into the cold elevator wall. No escape.

He couldn’t make out the emotion in Yan Yushan’s eyes, nor could he guess what he was thinking, but at this distance, in this position…

It really did look like he was about to kiss him.

Just a second before their bodies would’ve touched, Yan Yushan suddenly stopped. Xu Xishuang felt a light tug in his hair. Before he could react, Yan Yushan pulled his hand back.

Between his thumb and forefinger, Yan Yushan held a pink paper flower petal.

Xu Xishuang recognized it—it was from the handheld confetti used by the crew earlier. It must’ve landed in his hair when he walked in and gone unnoticed until now. Yan Yushan had simply helped him remove it.

Realizing he’d misunderstood, Xu Xishuang felt a little awkward. Calming his slightly accelerated heartbeat, he took the petal from Yan Yushan and casually clenched it in his palm. “Thanks.”

Yan Yushan said nothing and just stepped aside. The two of them returned to their earlier arm’s-length distance.

Just then, the elevator reached their floor. The doors opened, and Xu Xishuang led Yan Yushan out and toward his room.

Down the long hallway, motion-activated lights lit up one by one. Xu Xishuang walked ahead, focused, and didn’t notice that behind him, Yan Yushan quietly raised a hand, pressed it briefly to his lips, and then quickly lowered it again.

Yan Yushan wasn’t completely out of it. He still had a shred of clarity and that sliver of reason was what kept him in check, reminding him not to kiss Xu Xishuang, no matter how much he wanted to.

He couldn’t. Not now.

Something told Yan Yushan that if he kissed Xu Xishuang now, it wouldn’t bring them closer. It would only push Xu Xishuang further away—so far he might never come back.

At the room door, Xu Xishuang glanced back and saw Yan Yushan looking half-asleep and robotic. Not expecting him to open the door himself, he asked for the room card. He waited patiently as Yan Yushan slowly handed it over, then unlocked the door with a beep.

With the lights on, Xu Xishuang led him to the bed and forced him to sit down. “Remember to shower and sleep early. I’m leaving.”

Seeing Yan Yushan nod slowly, Xu Xishuang felt assured. He turned to go, but when he tried to pull his hand away, he couldn’t.

Yan Yushan was still holding on.

Xu Xishuang sighed in frustration, told himself not to argue with a drunk, and was just about to coax him again when Yan Yushan spoke first, “My family background is pretty good. I can provide for any material needs.”

Xu Xishuang: ?

…Is this guy trying to flaunt his wealth while drunk?

“Even without my family’s money, I’ve saved a lot over the years from work,” Yan Yushan continued. “I had a falling out with my family a while back because I joined the entertainment industry. But my older brother always supported me. Things are better now. My parents’ view of acting has changed, so there’s no more conflict.”

After a night of silence, Yan Yushan suddenly had a lot to say. Hearing him talk about his family, Xu Xishuang raised an eyebrow, feeling a bit conflicted. So he’s the kind of drunk who likes to open up?

Yan Yushan kept going. “I work out regularly, have no bad habits, no relationship history… I used to have a bad temper. I got in trouble for fighting in school. I even made other actors cry after joining the industry but I’ve changed. I swear I’ll never be violent in a relationship, never yell, and never argue.”

Xu Xishuang didn’t expect Yan Yushan to have been a “problem child.” He almost laughed. “Why are you telling me all this?”

Shouldn’t he be telling Chi Siyuan instead?

Yan Yushan stared at him. Because of the alcohol, Xu Xishuang’s image was blurry and doubled in his eyes, making it hard to see clearly.

He opened his mouth, wanting to ask if Xu Xishuang found his conditions acceptable, if he would consider dating him and if there was even a hint of affection. But what came out instead was, “What kind of men do you like? Someone like Chi Siyuan?”

Ever since learning about Xu Xishuang’s orientation, Yan Yushan had been uneasy whenever he thought about how close Xu Xishuang was to Chi Siyuan and how they shared little stories from the set over the phone. He was desperate to know what kind of man Xu Xishuang liked. Was it someone like Chi Siyuan?

The faint smile on Xu Xishuang’s face faded further. His tone turned cold, “I don’t like any type. I’m not looking to date right now.”

His answer wasn’t surprising, but it still disappointed Yan Yushan.

“And,” Xu Xishuang continued coldly, again trying to pull his wrist free, “Chi Siyuan doesn’t like me. You can relax. He’s already out of character.”

Last time Chi Siyuan contacted him about the scandal, Xu Xishuang could tell from his tone that something had changed. He was sure Chi Siyuan no longer held any of the feelings that Xia Qinglang had for Yu Xiang in the script. So there was nothing between them for Yan Yushan to be jealous of.

The main couple—the gong and the shou—had been devoted to each other from beginning to end. No exes and no idealized past loves. He, the “child-bearing plot device,” was just a small accident, a flaw the author hadn’t properly thought through when writing the setup. He wouldn’t affect the relationship between the main couple in the slightest.

Hearing Xu Xishuang’s reply, Yan Yushan groggily nodded, clearly reassured. He loosened his grip on Xu Xishuang’s wrist, stood up, and took a step forward.

Xu Xishuang rubbed his reddened wrist and turned to leave, not wanting to stay any longer.

Maybe Yan Yushan got up too fast, or maybe the alcohol surged back all of a sudden as his body lurched, and he stumbled forward. Xu Xishuang’s expression shifted. He quickly reached out to grab him, and Yan Yushan was pulled backward by the force.

Xu Xishuang had pulled too hard, and ended up taking a big step back himself. His heel hit the edge of the bed, throwing him off balance, and he fell back onto the mattress, toppling sideways into the soft covers.

Yan Yushan followed him down. Seeing those broad shoulders coming at him, Xu Xishuang instinctively shielded his stomach but Yan Yushan didn’t fall directly on him. At the last second, he shifted and landed at Xu Xishuang’s side.

Xu Xishuang froze.

Yan Yushan’s body radiated heat, and his lips were burning hot. Even though it was just a light accidental brush against the corner of his mouth, Xu Xishuang felt as if Yan Yushan’s warmth had set his entire body on fire.

He unconsciously pressed his lips together, and a faint mix of alcohol and light cream spread from the corner of his mouth.

Flustered and panicked, Xu Xishuang sat up and quickly turned his head to glance at Yan Yushan, wanting to see if he had noticed the accident—only to find his eyes closed, seemingly already asleep.

…Probably didn’t notice, right?

Without thinking further, Xu Xishuang turned, got off the bed, and fled the room like he was escaping.