TSBDRA 62: When Are We Making It Official?

Yan Yushan fell into a new kind of daze.

…What did Xu Xishuang just say?

For a moment, he suspected it might be a dream his mind had conjured. But the soft warmth of Xu Xishuang’s hand, the shy look in his eyes, and the flush spreading across his cheeks all told him—this was real.

Xu Xishuang really liked him.

Xu Xishuang had really said yes to him.

Yan Yushan swallowed hard, unable to speak, and slowly leaned down, inching closer to Xu Xishuang. He could feel Xu Xishuang’s breath and was equally nervous. He brushed the tip of his tall nose gently against Xu Xishuang’s soft cheek, then tilted his head slightly.

This was the first time Xu Xishuang—or rather, the first time while fully awake—had ever seen the small mole on Yan Yushan’s eyelid so close. He suddenly yanked his hand back, completely forgetting how to breathe, hearing nothing but the wild pounding of his heart.

“…It pricked my face,” Xu Xishuang said stiffly, eyelashes trembling like mad. “Your stubble… it scratched me.”

It didn’t actually scratch that much. When Yan Yushan brushed against him just now, he did feel a faint sting but it disappeared almost instantly. He just needed an excuse, anything, to calm down the explosion of his heartbeat.

And seriously—who kisses someone right after being confessed to without saying a single word?! Couldn’t he at least give a guy a little time to mentally prepare?!

Hearing Xu Xishuang’s words, Yan Yushan snapped back to himself. His lips, which had stopped just two centimeters from Xu Xishuang’s, slowly pulled back.

He raised a hand and touched his jaw. There really were a few rough patches he hadn’t shaved. Seeing Xu Xishuang’s face completely red, with his whole body practically bristling like a startled cat, Yan Yushan let out a knowing laugh.

“I’ll go shave.”

After Yan Yushan left the hospital room, Xu Xishuang stared at the closed door for a few seconds, then suddenly flopped backward, landing on the soft pillow. He pulled the blanket over his head, covering himself completely—just like he had the day after he transmigrated into the novel and woke up in the hospital, too embarrassed to face Yan Yushan.

Xu Xishuang felt like a boiling kettle, steam puffing out nonstop, his whole face flushed and burning hot.

He kept replaying the moment he confessed over and over in his mind, and the part where Yan Yushan suddenly leaned in and kissed him. Not until his heartbeat finally settled and he felt he could calmly accept the fact that he and Yan Yushan were now together did he slowly pull the blanket down, revealing half his face, and stared at the IV drip that still had half a bottle left.

When there was only a little bit of fluid left in the drip, Yan Yushan came back.

Not only had he shaved, he had also styled his hair and even changed his clothes. The black coat was gone, replaced with a warm-toned camel one, clearly showing he was in a good mood.

Ever since learning that Xu Xishuang didn’t like Chi Siyuan, Yan Yushan had even started to find the fruit basket Chi Siyuan sent much more pleasing to the eye. After messaging Dr. Xu to confirm that Xu Xishuang could now eat fruit, Yan Yushan picked up an apple from the table, walked to the sink to wash it, then pulled a fruit knife from the drawer and slowly peeled the apple for Xu Xishuang.

 While peeling the apple, Yan Yushan subtly observed Xu Xishuang’s expression. He figured Xu Xishuang had probably already calmed himself down by now, so he finally felt at ease placing the apple in the fruit dish and sliding it over to him.

“Thanks,” Xu Xishuang said, lowering his head as he picked up the apple with the hand that wasn’t hooked to the IV. He took a bite, then sneaked a glance at Yan Yushan from the corner of his eye, only to find that Yan Yushan was still staring at him. He quickly looked away and pretended to focus intently on eating the apple.

There was only one apple, and no matter how slowly he ate it, it eventually ran out. Xu Xishuang glanced around the bedside table, didn’t spot any tissues, and after a moment of hesitation, stuck out his pink little tongue and quickly licked the tip of his index finger.

Just as he finished licking, he saw Yan Yushan pull a pack of wet wipes out of his pocket.

Xu Xishuang: ……

Yan Yushan held back a laugh, knowing that if he let it out, Xu Xishuang would definitely explode. He was genuinely curious where Xu Xishuang had picked up all these cat-like habits, but he didn’t ask. Instead, he silently opened his hand toward him.

Xu Xishuang paused for a moment, then offered his right hand to Yan Yushan, letting him gently hold his wrist and carefully wipe his fingers clean with the wet wipe.

After watching Yan Yushan toss the used wipe into the trash, Xu Xishuang was just about to pull his hand back when Yan Yushan spread his fingers and interlaced them with his, not letting him go.

Yan Yushan’s palm was warm. Xu Xishuang shifted his fingertips uncomfortably, forgetting that their fingers were interlocked—so his fingertips lightly grazed the back of Yan Yushan’s hand, like a silent, unspoken signal.

Yan Yushan mimicked the motion, giving a light scratch back. This time, he really couldn’t hold it in and let out a quiet laugh.

“…Don’t laugh,” Xu Xishuang said, his ears burning, the warning lacking any real force.

“Okay, I won’t laugh.” Yan Yushan pressed his lips together, but still didn’t let go of Xu Xishuang’s hand. “Are you tired? Want to rest?”

Truthfully, Xu Xishuang wasn’t tired at all. He knew he’d been asleep for seven days—while his body had felt a little weak when he first woke up, his mind was now wide awake. Maybe it had something to do with just having confessed to Yan Yushan.

Xu Xishuang glanced at him and shook his head. “No need.”

He found that he couldn’t hold eye contact with Yan Yushan for long anymore. The moment their gazes met, he would instinctively look away. It wasn’t like before when he wanted to avoid him—it was just…

Embarrassment.

He kept feeling like Yan Yushan’s gaze was a little scary now, different from before. If Yan Yushan used to be like a warm, golden retriever—eyes gentle and focused, occasionally fierce but mostly harmless—then now he was more like a starving wolf, just waiting for the perfect moment to devour him whole.

The door opened again, and Xu Xishuang flinched slightly. He instinctively tried to pull his hand back, but Yan Yushan held it firmly, not letting go.

Dr. Xu walked in holding a medical chart. He glanced at their intertwined hands and raised an eyebrow, then turned to Xu Xishuang and said, “Your condition is pretty much fine now. I suggest you get discharged early. You wouldn’t want to spend the New Year in the hospital, would you?”

Xu Xishuang blinked, then thought about the time—it really was almost the New Year.

Yan Yushan asked Dr. Xu, “Can he be discharged today?”

“Even right now,” Dr. Xu replied with a knowing smile. “After all, no hospital bed is as big or as comfortable as the one at home.”

Yan Yushan raised an eyebrow slightly.

Dr. Xu walked over to the completely clueless Xu Xishuang, looked up at the IV, then pulled the needle from the back of his left hand and taped it with gauze. “Alright, time to go home.”

Just a few seconds before they left the room, Dr. Xu suddenly turned around and said to the two of them inside, “Congratulations—may you live happily ever after.”

The hospital room door closed.

Xu Xishuang was still processing what had just been said when he heard Yan Yushan beside him ask, “When are we making it official?”

Xu Xishuang opened his mouth, but suddenly thought of all the overwhelming hate comments online. He hadn’t cared much about that stuff before, but after hearing what Dr. Xu had said about him “not being himself,” and now that he was truly in a relationship with Yan Yushan, thinking back on those comments made him feel a little uneasy.

“Do we have to make it official?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized they sounded kind of like something a jerk would say. He pressed his lips together and quickly tried to explain, “I mean… would it affect you?”

“It won’t,” Yan Yushan replied.

The fans who were going to unfollow him had already done so back when he announced during the livestream that he was going to pursue Xu Xishuang. The ones who stayed were either neutral or supportive. His career wouldn’t be affected at all.

Yan Yushan knew Xu Xishuang was worried about the comments online. He had already arranged for people to manage it, shutting down a batch of accounts that were going off the rails. As much as he wanted to tell Xu Xishuang that their relationship was just between the two of them and other people’s opinions didn’t matter, he knew Xu Xishuang was under far more public pressure than he was—he had no right to ask him to ignore the hate.

Yan Yushan suddenly felt a twinge of regret for being so impulsive back then, announcing on the show that he was going to pursue Xu Xishuang. He should have taken it slow.

“Then I’ll just be your secret boyfriend,” he said jokingly, feeling a bit sorry for him. “You can go public whenever you want.”

“…I didn’t say you had to be a secret,” Xu Xishuang turned his head, ears red, and got up from the hospital bed as he spoke. “Let’s go public during the next recording of A Trip on a Whim.”

Yan Yushan reached out to steady his arm. When he heard what Xu Xishuang said, his hands stiffened for a second, then quickly relaxed again, his voice carrying a hint of a smile. “Mm. Thank you, Teacher Xu, for making it official so soon.”

Xu Xishuang lifted a hand to cover his burning ears, thinking, Was Yan Yushan always this smooth when in a relationship?

There wasn’t much to pack in the hospital room. Xu Xishuang wasn’t wearing a hospital gown, but a soft inner layer that Yan Yushan had bought for him. He just put on a warm down jacket over it, slipped his phone into his pocket, and followed Yan Yushan out of the room.

They had barely walked a few steps when Yan Yushan stopped in front of the room next door and said to Xu Xishuang, “I need to go in and pack up.”

Xu Xishuang stood at the doorway and looked inside, spotting a lot of Yan Yushan’s things. Realizing that Yan Yushan had been staying here the past few days made his heart ache a little, and at the same time, he suddenly remembered something important. “Yan Yushan.”

Yan Yushan, who was tidying up his things, turned around. “What is it?”

“These past few days while I was unconscious,” Xu Xishuang paused, “who changed my clothes, wiped me down… did all that?”

Yan Yushan held his gaze for a few seconds.

“It was me,” he said.

At first, he had considered hiring a nurse, but ran into a dilemma when it came to choosing a gender. Then he realized he couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else touching Xu Xishuang. In the end, he did it himself. He saw everything he should and shouldn’t have seen, and had decided to confess once Xu Xishuang woke up.

Xu Xishuang leaned against the doorframe and stayed quiet. Yan Yushan figured he must be embarrassed, so he turned back and kept packing.

Once everything was packed and he stepped out carrying his bag, Xu Xishuang reached out and tugged on his sleeve, then said softly, “Thank you.”

Yan Yushan looked at Xu Xishuang while holding his bag, then suddenly raised his hand and pointed to his own lips. “How about a more practical thank-you?”

Xu Xishuang: …

He stared at Yan Yushan’s smiling face for a few seconds.

He was starting to think he had completely misjudged Yan Yushan from the beginning. Where was the loyal golden retriever in all this? Yan Yushan was clearly a cunning big-tailed wolf who just knew how to play nice.

Yan Yushan wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get a response from Xu Xishuang. He only said it jokingly—he knew Xu Xishuang wouldn’t kiss him.

Today’s surprises were already more than enough. Xu Xishuang had confessed, they’d confirmed their relationship, and they’d even decided to go public soon. A person ought to know when to be content.

Kissing—and everything else—could wait.

Yan Yushan lowered his hand and was just about to turn to leave when Xu Xishuang suddenly tugged at his sleeve again.

His heart skipped a beat as he slowly turned back.

Xu Xishuang’s face was half-red, but he forced on a blank expression and, with surprising boldness, grabbed Yan Yushan by the collar and gave it a little pull.

Yan Yushan obediently lowered his head, bringing his lips close to Xu Xishuang’s, making it easier for him to deliver that “thank-you.”

Xu Xishuang once again noticed the small mole on Yan Yushan’s eyelid. He held his breath, his lashes trembling as he closed his eyes, then rose on tiptoe and quickly pressed a kiss to Yan Yushan’s lips.