Chapter 18 – Xing Baichuan 0.8

Li Jiangluo was bathed in the orange hues of the sunset, his expression indistinct from my vantage point, yet I suddenly understood why my brother loved him so dearly.

He possessed an extraordinary aura, seemingly detached from the world yet not aloof, a calmness that made one feel at ease and secure.

The meeting had occupied the entire afternoon, and with the first collaborative project post-return now virtually confirmed, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

Back in the office, Li Jiangluo turned around with a smile and asked, “Would you like some water?”

Rarely did I see him smile. This man was either perpetually worried or expressionless, always appearing preoccupied.

I found myself wondering if he wasn’t like that when he was with Bolin, but instead, was always smiling like he was now.

His ability to laugh without restraint suggested that he had let go of some of his burdens.

“I’ll get it myself. Do you want more water?” Our interactions were intriguing; sometimes we treated each other like strangers who had just met, politely distant, while at other times, we seemed like family who had lived together for years.

Noticing the book on the table, I casually asked, “Do you like this one?”

“Mm, it’s very good,” Li Jiangluo replied as he came over to refill his water, glancing at the book cover. “I stopped halfway through before but finished it today.”

I hadn’t read this book, nor any of the books on the shelf, for that matter. The books in a businessman’s office are often mere decoration.

Glancing at the time, it was just past four, but estimating, I wouldn’t be home until around eleven again. I had to meet a guest soon and wouldn’t have time to take Jiangluo out for dinner.

This was unexpected. I had originally planned to head home with him after the meeting, but then something else came up, leaving me unable to leave.

“Jiangluo,” I called out.

He was browsing the books on the shelf when he heard me call and turned around immediately.

“I should have gone home with you, but I still have something to do. You might have to take a taxi back alone,” I said apologetically. I had wasted his time, and it would have been better to drop him off earlier, right after leaving Xu Zhao, allowing him to return home.

“Do you have a dinner appointment?”

He assumed it was nearing dinnertime, which was why I had plans.

“No, a guest is coming to discuss cooperation. I probably won’t have time for dinner, otherwise, I’d take you downstairs for a quick bite.”

“Oh…so busy.” Li Jiangluo understood, drained the last of his water from the disposable paper cup, and tossed it into the trash can. “I’ll head back then. Will you be late tonight?”

“Probably,” I replied as I followed him out and instructed the receptionist, “Book me a car.”

Li Jiangluo was surprised and asked, “You’re going out to meet your guest? Why aren’t you using your own car?”

“It’s for you.” I chuckled and tousled his hair gently.

His hair was as soft as his nature.

“No need, no need. I’ll just hail a taxi outside.” He leaned away from me and reassured the receptionist, “Miss, there’s really no need for such trouble. You should get back to work.”

I found his startled reaction amusing. Recalling, I realized that I hadn’t seen Li Jiangluo like this in these recent days.

Most of the time, he was lost in thought and silent, or secretly smoking.

When I previously suggested we quit smoking together, neither of us succeeded. My work often necessitated smoking, while he continued to sneak around, hiding on the balcony at night or downstairs.

Previously, he avoided my parents, but now, he evaded me too.

Perhaps he was afraid I would blame him.

“In that case, I’ll escort you downstairs.” I pressed the elevator button and beckoned him over.

“Don’t worry about me. Go back to your work.”

One of the most prominent traits in Li Jiangluo’s character was his reluctance to inconvenience others. Just like his anorexia, if left unchecked, it could become severe, but he feared our concern and refused to undergo a checkup.

This upset me somewhat. I wanted him to cause me more trouble, to allow me to do more for him, as a way to make amends for my brother.

We descended together, and I helped him hail a cab on the street.

Li Jiangluo was somewhat amused and perplexed, standing to the side and saying, “I’m not a child; hailing a cab is something I can handle on my own.”

“It’s alright,” I told him. “My guest hasn’t arrived yet. I came out for some fresh air; otherwise, I’d be stuck inside the building, feeling stifled.”

Hailing a cab was easy beneath our building. Watching Li Jiangluo climb into the vehicle, I envied him, saying, “I wish I could go home with you.”

He smiled, waved goodbye.

Watching his car depart, I stood downstairs, lighting another cigarette before heading back up.

In winter, the sky darkened quickly after the sunset.

I had intended to call Jiangluo when it was nearly time to ask if he had arrived home safely, but upon returning to the office, my scheduled guest arrived.

I glanced at my phone, thinking he would inform me once he reached home.

Although he appeared fine now, I couldn’t help but worry.

A few days ago, I worked overtime in the office until late, falling asleep on the desk. I had an unpleasant dream.

It was a scene that had actually occurred—the moment Li Jiangluo tore up Bolin’s letter and attempted to eat it.

Reflecting on it now, I truly suspected he was suffering from psychological issues at the time, even preparing to take him to see a doctor.

However, after my parents came, Li Jiangluo gradually improved. Once, he told me that what he craved most throughout his life was a complete family.

Initially, he believed Bolin could provide that, but he didn’t anticipate what would happen.

I didn’t pry into his family situation, only knowing that both his parents were gone. At that time, I comforted him, saying that he now had a complete family, with a brother and parents.

Saying those words, I deeply missed Bolin. I once had a perfect and blissful family, with my brother being my pride, but I never expected the facade to shatter, revealing the harsh reality.

However, I, who never believed in fate, started believing in it after encountering Li Jiangluo.

Between us, it was akin to a puzzle piece. The spot that originally belonged to Bolin suddenly became vacant, and he, fitting perfectly into that gap.

This provided solace for all of us.

In my heart, I was grateful, and I believed Li Jiangluo felt the same way.

My conversation with the guest extended longer than anticipated, and by the time I saw him off, it was almost seven o’clock. I should have treated him to dinner, but due to my other commitments, I had to arrange it for another time.

Returning to the company, Xiao Chen, the receptionist, was tidying up her things, preparing to leave. I casually reminded her, “Be careful on your way home.”

She looked up and saw me, exclaiming in surprise twice.

At twenty-three years old, she was at the age where laughter and playfulness reigned supreme. Usually, the men in the company liked to tease her, but she had a good personality—she was just easily startled.

Thinking she was simply playing around, I intended to scare her lightly, but unexpectedly, she pulled out an insulated lunch box from the partition beside her desk.

The light blue lunch box was adorned with a sticker note.

Its owner was likely concerned about it falling, so they secured it tightly with transparent tape.

“President Xing, this was delivered by Mr. Li earlier. He said you wouldn’t have time to eat out tonight.”

Gazing at the lunch box, an indescribable emotion welled up within me.

Li Jiangluo must have returned home to prepare a meal and then came back here. However, I was still entertaining guests at the time, so he left it with the receptionist.

Taking the lunch box, I asked, “Where is he now?”

“He left already,” Xiao Chen said as she packed her belongings and clocked out. “He told you to return home early and not to stay out too late.”

Observing Xiao Chen’s expression, she grinned mischievously, bidding me farewell. I knew she must have misunderstood. I hadn’t revealed my sexual orientation to anyone, but the receptionists were typically the ones who knew the most gossip, so it was possible she knew everything.

I didn’t bother with her, nor did I feel the need to explain. Pulling out my phone, I dialed Jiangluo.

“Have you arrived home?” I asked straightaway as soon as he picked up.

He chuckled, “Is your guest gone?”

“Yes, thank you for the dinner you sent over,” I said, suddenly feeling embarrassed. I had wasted his time in the afternoon, didn’t treat him to dinner, and instead, allowed him to bring me food.

“What are you thanking me for? It’s what I should do,” Li Jiangluo’s tone was gentle. I guessed he was also embarrassed. After pausing for a moment, he said, “Eat quickly. Aren’t you going to work later? The air is nice today; I’m taking Auntie for a walk downstairs.”

“Alright, it’s getting dark. Don’t wander too far,” I advised.

“Mm, we’ll just stay within the neighborhood. Don’t worry.”

Li Jiangluo’s tone was relaxed, as if he had forgotten all his troubles. Due to him, my mood brightened.

He prepared three dishes, two vegetable and one meat, all quick to cook. They seemed hastily prepared due to urgency, perhaps to prevent me from going hungry.

The last time I experienced such care was in Vancouver. Working late into the night at home, my mother, who had already gone to bed, woke up in the middle of the night and noticed I was still working, so she made me a midnight snack.

Jiangluo’s culinary skills were impressive; even the simplest scrambled eggs were mouthwateringly delicious.

I suddenly drifted off into thought, wondering if he honed his cooking skills for Bolin’s sake.

Coming back to my senses, I gave a bitter smile, reminding myself not to think of Bolin so readily, for death is irreversible.

Yet, although he was no longer with us, he seemed omnipresent.

Our lives were filled with details that bore his shadow.

I knew we needed time. It had only been two months; perhaps in two years, twenty years, the memories of Bolin would fade, and the wounds would heal.

As a brother, it was wrong of me to think this way, but I had to. For the sake of my family, I must ensure that every day is happier than the last.