Chapter 24 – Xing Baichuan 1.1

On Chinese New Year morning, there was a group of children playing downstairs in the neighborhood complex.

It had to be said that these little energetic beans were truly spirited. On a winter morning, someone like me would be too lazy to get out of bed, yet they had already been running around for who knows how long.

Just as I was leaving, my mother complained again about me having to go to the company on Chinese New Year.

She stood at the door, hesitating to speak her mind. I think I knew what she wanted to say; this was a day for family reunions. My brother wasn’t around anymore, and now I was leaving too. She was bound to be unhappy.

But I couldn’t skip work. While it was Chinese New Year here in China, it wasn’t the same case abroad.

Our recent project was under tight supervision by the other party, and most of my employees were holding their positions at work. As the boss, if I didn’t show up and stand alongside them on the front lines, it wouldn’t sit right with me.

I specifically gave Jiangluo the day off so he could stay home with Mom and Dad.

I could tell he wanted to come with me, but he couldn’t bear to leave my elderly parents alone. So he followed my mother at the door, watching me leave as though they were two military families sending off their loved ones with reluctance.

“When will you be back?”

My car had just left the residential area when my mother called.

“I’ll try to be back by noon.”

She hesitated, then asked, “Is there anyone else at the company? Don’t come back for lunch. I’ll make some dumplings for Jiangluo to bring over. What kind of lousy boss are you, making your employees work overtime during the holiday!”

I laughed a couple of times, suddenly feeling a pang of sadness.

Chinese New Year was a day for everyone to rest and spend time with their families. Yet, I hadn’t spent Chinese New Year with Bolin for several years.

Before my parents moved overseas to live with me, every year, Bolin would celebrate with them while I spent most of my time working, only sparing a few moments to video chat with them.

No wonder my mother had that expression earlier; she must have been thinking of Bolin.

I suddenly realized how unfilial I was. With such a significant change in the family, I didn’t stay behind to accompany them on this day.

There was a U-turn ahead, but after a moment’s hesitation, I continued driving straight.

In a city this large, with life this challenging, there were always things that made you feel powerless. You could never please everyone. And we often chose to hurt and abandon those closest to us.

No one could answer whether it was right or wrong.

I worked busily through the morning. By eleven o’clock, Jiangluo indeed arrived at the company.

His appearance was quite amusing. He had a large backpack strapped to his back and two thermal lunch boxes in his hands.

When I saw him, I couldn’t help but laugh. He seemed a bit embarrassed and quickly put down his backpack upon entering.

“Auntie was worried there wouldn’t be enough food, so she bought a few more thermal lunch boxes,” Jiangluo chattered on as he took out the colorful lunch boxes from his backpack.

My mother was the type of middle-aged woman who was both enthusiastic and kind. She even made several different types of fillings for the dumplings, with a label stuck on each lunch box for identification.

“Should we call everyone for lunch?” Jiangluo probably came by taxi. The place I rented was inaccessible to taxis, and it was quite a distance from the main gate to this office building. His face was flushed, and beads of sweat dotted his forehead, indicating he had run all the way in.

“Take a break first.” I reached out to help him take off his coat, but he immediately stepped back as if startled. I felt awkward and apologized for my rashness, “Sorry, I just noticed you were sweating and wanted you to cool down.”

He seemed flustered, shaking his head and taking off his coat himself.

Looking at him, I thought it was best to change the subject. “Have you eaten yet?”

“Not yet, I’m not hungry, so I came over first.” He draped his coat over the armrest of the sofa, seeming somewhat restless.

I didn’t know what was bothering him. Perhaps my actions earlier had offended him, and I felt quite uncomfortable, feeling very apologetic towards him.

To hide my embarrassment, I glanced at the time and said, “It’s noon, they should be hungry by now. I’ll distribute the dumplings to them, and then we can go home.”

“Huh?” Jiangluo looked at me in surprise. “Can you leave now?”

I nodded, picking up two lunch boxes in one hand. “Looks like I need your help. Mom brought too much.”

He chuckled, helping me carry the lunch boxes to distribute the dumplings to the employees in the open office area. Walking behind me, his voice carried a hint of amusement. “Auntie scolded you for not giving people a break. She said if you don’t treat them better, she won’t let you work in the future.”

Most of my employees were young, energetic men who could eat three servings of dumplings each.

As they ate, they exclaimed about the deliciousness and thanked my mother repeatedly.

Seeing them like this lifted my mood, although I did feel hungry myself.

“Eat up. After you finish, wash the lunch boxes clean, and then you’re off work. Remember to clock in today, there’s a bonus after the holiday.”

After reminding them to secure the windows and doors, I left with Jiangluo.

The guys knew Jiangluo was an acquaintance of mine. A few who were close to me knew my sexual orientation and would secretly tease me and Jiangluo.

I had scolded them several times, but it hadn’t been effective.

As I left with Jiangluo, I heard one of them shout, “Happy New Year to Boss and Boss Lady!”

I immediately felt embarrassed because these guys usually didn’t joke like this in front of Jiangluo. This time, Li Jiangluo was right beside me, and I quickly glanced at his expression. Thankfully, he seemed lost in thought and might not have heard.

To be honest, I didn’t like such jokes, especially when the target was Li Jiangluo.

I knew who had said that sentence earlier. Once we returned to work after the holiday, I’d have to properly punish him.

I drove Jiangluo home. On the way back, I suddenly wondered if there was anything else we needed to buy for the house, so I said, “Jiangluo, call my mom and ask if there’s anything we should buy on our way back.”

He was still lost in thought and was startled by my words.

He was easily frightened, each time his body would tremble slightly, his hair following suit.

Although it was amusing, I also felt a bit concerned that it happened so frequently.

“This morning, Auntie and I went to the supermarket once, and we’ve bought everything we need.” He turned to look at me, puzzled. “Brother, don’t you know that supermarkets close during this time? They also take a break for Chinese New Year.”

I smiled wryly, unable to help it. For many years, I hadn’t spent Chinese New Year in the country, so I had forgotten.

Actually, it was fine on the road, but the moment I got home, the first thing I saw was Bolin’s photo in the living room. My previously relaxed mood suddenly became heavy.

My father and mother were together in the kitchen, preparing a large grass carp. When I walked in, I felt helpless. “This fish is big enough to be grilled whole. Where did you buy such a huge one?”

“It was the last one in the supermarket. I snatched it.” My mother smiled, and I felt more at ease.

I changed into my clothes in my room and, before coming out, wiped Bolin’s picture frame clean with a wet wipe.

We had lived here for some time, and I had never cleaned it, but it was surprisingly spotless.

Looking at the tissue with no dust on it, I sighed.

Chinese New Year should have been a day when every household was bustling with activity, but everyone in our family seemed to be forcing smiles.

The TV was showing the Spring Festival Gala, but we weren’t really paying attention. During dinner, my mother deliberately prepared an extra set of bowls and chopsticks and placed them next to her. She secretly wiped away her tears, and none of us knew what to say.

At midnight, the clock struck twelve, and the hosts of CCTV’s Channel One wished everyone a happy new year.

I poured wine into everyone’s glasses, stood up, and said, “According to the lunar calendar, today is truly the start of the new year for us Chinese. Even though Bolin is no longer with us, our family is still together. And Jiangluo, I want to thank you for taking such good care of my parents when I was unable to do so.”

Since Bolin was a wound in everyone’s heart, it was better to speak openly about it, allowing the pain to be more acute but perhaps also more cathartic.

I saw my father, eyes red, wiping away my mother’s tears. Jiangluo, holding his glass, bit his lip, not daring to look at me. As I looked at them, my vision became blurred.

But what did it matter? What could we do?

I hoped that one day, Bolin would no longer be a person we tiptoed around, afraid to mention. Instead, whenever we spoke of him, we could face it calmly. We missed him, but we didn’t cry every time we thought of him.

“Let’s raise a glass. Happy New Year, my family.” Each of us clinked our glasses, gently touching the glass belonging to Bolin that was placed aside.

The wine mixed with tears as we swallowed. The taste, I hoped, would not need to be tasted again next year.

After dinner, my parents tidied up and went to bed.

Jiangluo and I sat in the living room, continuing to drink.

Remembering how he had gotten drunk last time and considering his stomach issues, I replaced his alcohol with a soft drink.

We each occupied one side of the sofa, ignoring etiquette as usual. Our feet rested on the coffee table, slouching like two nerds pulling an all-nighter gaming session.

“Where did you usually spend Chinese New Year?” I took a sip of my drink and asked casually.

Because Bolin had always accompanied my parents on previous Chinese New Years, and hearing Jiangluo’s tone, he didn’t seem to have any close relatives, could it be that he spent Chinese New Year alone?

“As for me…” He held his cup, hesitated for a moment, and then smiled. “In past years, I was always alone. At midnight, Bolin would give me a call.”

I looked at him. There was a smile on his lips, but I could see the strain.

“You won’t be alone anymore.” I raised my hand and vigorously ruffled his hair. On the TV screen, the credits for the Spring Festival Gala were rolling. “Go to sleep. Your aunt will probably get up early tomorrow morning to make dumplings again.”

He smiled and looked up at me, standing up and following me upstairs.

After washing up and returning to my room, I saw a beautifully wrapped small box and a painting placed outside my door.

I bent down to pick them up. The painting depicted me, with “Li Jiangluo” written in the lower right corner.

A wave of warmth flooded my heart. His New Year’s gift was the most thoughtful one I had received in recent years.

Holding the items, I entered my room and opened the small box. Inside was a pair of cufflinks. I rarely used such accessories, so I hadn’t expected Jiangluo to give me this.

Underneath the small box was a hidden card. I opened it and read it, unable to resist laughing.