Chapter 80 – Moonlight Sonata

A meter of sunlight streamed in from outside, accompanied by the beautiful sound of piano music in the music room. Jiang Heng was casually seated on the sofa, with Shen Fubai lying down, resting his head on Jiang Heng’s lap, the atmosphere relaxed and carefree.

Shen Fubai sang out of tune, “On that windowsill where wild chrysanthemums bloom, the curtains move against my hair. I toss aside my red dancing shoes, I don’t care anymore, Lolita.”

The fields turned golden, Lolita. The stage is almost set, are we the same? Lolita.

Accustomed to loneliness.

Shen Fubai’s singing was truly tone-deaf, and Jiang Heng couldn’t help but laugh when he heard it. His laughter gradually subsided, wondering why he felt that Fubai was singing this song earnestly.

Dancing shoes, stages, seventeen years old, loneliness.

It was as if Shen Fubai was singing about himself.

Shen Fubai debuted at sixteen, captivating the world with his dance. At seventeen, he clipped his own wings, reining in all his brilliance, walking alone amidst a crowd of thousands.

Jiang Heng ran his fingers through the strands of hair on Shen Fubai’s forehead. “Fubai, how did you learn your English?”

Shen Fubai’s American accent was too perfect, even more fluent than Jiang Heng’s.

Shen Fubai’s life after sixteen had been spent under the spotlight, watched as he grew up. But no one knew anything about what happened before he was sixteen, not even the media had dug into it.

Shen Fubai lazily squinted his eyes. “Do you want to hear it? This story is quite long.”

Jiang Heng replied, “Yes.”

Shen Fubai tilted his head. “Alright, then I’ll tell you everything.”

“I grew up abroad when I was young. My mother is of Chinese descent, and she lived in America with my grandmother. I lived in New York until I was eleven, then my father took me back to Beijing.”

Jiang Heng asked, “Father and Mother Shen didn’t live together?”

“They got divorced a long time ago, when I was two,” Shen Fubai said casually. “A Chinese dancer went to America for a performance and fell in love with a Chinese-American female singer. Romance brought them together, but the realities of daily life drained their passion. Then the man returned to China, leaving the child to be raised by the grandmother until she passed away when I was eleven. That’s when he finally remembered that he should have a son.”

Jiang Heng was slightly taken aback, stroking Shen Fubai gently, trying to comfort him. “Your mother agreed to let him take you away?”

“Of course she did.” Shen Fubai smiled. “She had already found an American man to be my stepfather. They had a brown-haired, blue-eyed mixed-race baby, so adorable… they were a happy American family.” And he was the extra piece.

No one cared except for his grandmother. But she was too old and struggled to satisfy a child’s intense curiosity. A child’s childhood should have parents by their side.

Jiang Heng paused, feeling heartache.

“There’s no need for that.” Shen Fubai looked up and smiled. “My mother pursued freedom when she was young and didn’t like being tied down by family. She understands her responsibility as a mother now, although she has given it to another family, another child.”

“In American schools, some kids would discriminate against Asians.” Shen Fubai seemed to be recalling something. “They envied my good looks and bullied me… but I couldn’t help being attractive… during that time, I was too weak, carrying a knife for protection every day, but it didn’t make a difference, they would still take my things.”

“When my mother found out, she took me to school and stormed into the principal’s office demanding justice. She sternly warned those bad kids and made them apologize to me one by one. Back then, I thought my mom was the coolest, no one in the world could be better than her.” Shen Fubai continued, “Later, she hired a coach to teach me self-defense skills. After that, those who wanted to bully me were all beaten up by me. Guns are legal in America, Heng Heng, I know how to use a gun, you mustn’t be afraid.”

Jiang Heng listened quietly and then spoke. “I’m not afraid. I can do it too.” Shooting ranges existed in China, and traveling abroad wasn’t difficult for someone of his background.

“She was a good mother… to my little brother.” Shen Fubai rolled over and buried himself in Jiang Heng’s arms. “She loved me too, and she felt guilty for neglecting me for so many years. But that guilt doesn’t compare to her love for her current family. They are a real family, living under the same roof, while I am an outsider. So when she asked me if I wanted to go back to China and live with my father… I saw the hope in her eyes, she hoped I would agree.”

“At that time, I didn’t speak Chinese well at all. I didn’t want to go to a distant country and stay with a strange man called ‘father.’ But she wanted me to return, so I did. What else could I do but get in the way of that family of three?”

Jiang Heng held him tighter.

“Then I came back to China and met my father… he was stern yet elegant, a well-known dancer who devoted his life to art. He didn’t pay much attention to me, but he was very strict with me, sending me to study classical dance professionally. He might have loved me, he just didn’t know how to express it.” Shen Fubai was still puzzled about this point. “I spent eleven years with my singing mother and never learned to sing well. But it only took me five years to become the top student in classical dance at the Beijing Dance Academy. Maybe my talent lies here. Coming back to China was the right decision.” Otherwise, he wouldn’t have met Jiang Heng.

“But both of my families were very wealthy. Of course, not as rich as yours, but I was also a young master of a wealthy family.” Shen Fubai said.

Jiang Heng stared into his eyes, wanting to ask—why would a rich kid like you choose to enter the entertainment industry as an idol and sign that tyrannical contract?

I did it for you, what was your reason?

Before Jiang Heng could voice his question, Shen Fubai suddenly turned his head and shouted towards the music room, “Hey, Xavier, although my story is a bit sad, you don’t have to play Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata’ to accompany me, do you?” He felt that his ordinary life experiences had become tragically grand.

The piano music stopped, and Xavier’s confused voice echoed out. “What?”

He didn’t understand Chinese at all; he just happened to switch to Beethoven’s ‘Moonlight Sonata.’

Jiang Heng said, “Never mind, play ‘Ode to Joy,’ thank you.”

Xavier: “? ? ?” He was just practicing the piano, why did it suddenly turn into a song request?

But Xavier really started playing ‘Ode to Joy.’

Shen Fubai laughed and rolled into Jiang Heng’s embrace.

“Xavier is so cute.”

Jiang Heng stroked his head. “You’re cute too.”

Compared to the children Shen Fubai had encountered in Wu Shan, his childhood wasn’t particularly hard.

Nor was it particularly happy.

Without a complete family, living with his mother but feeling like an outsider, experiencing exclusion and school bullying, and losing his beloved grandmother at a young age. This boy, who should have evoked sympathy and concern, was thoroughly neglected by his biological mother. Even his biological father didn’t show much affection.

Growing up in such an environment, Shen Fubai had managed to develop a sunny and adorable personality, avoiding becoming a shy and gloomy teenager. It was not easy.

Jiang Heng regretted not meeting Shen Fubai earlier. If he had met young Shen Fubai, he would have held him tightly in his arms. How could he have allowed others to bully and look down upon him?

No one cared for him in the past, but from now on, he would cherish him and love him.

“Fubai, we’ll be staying in America for many more days,” Jiang Heng whispered to him. “Do you want to visit your mother?” Buying a plane ticket from Los Angeles to New York only took six hours.

Shen Fubai thought about it and shook his head. “No.”

“There’s something else I’m more worried about.” Shen Fubai frowned. “I promised Sister Li that I would handle the new song for the concert myself. Why did I boast like that? I have absolutely no confidence in my ability to write lyrics, compose music, and perform.”

“Creativity requires inspiration, don’t rush it.” Jiang Heng told him not to worry. “Just relax and enjoy our time here. Perhaps when you see a sea, a sunset, or a leaf falling to the ground, you’ll find the song you want.”

“That’s not possible. I have so many ideas in my head.” Shen Fubai spread his arms wide, making a huge gesture.

Then he pulled them back and held up two little fingers. “I can only express this much.”

…Too true.

“It will be fine.” Jiang Heng said. “Let your ideas flow freely, I will hire the most professional team to assist you. If necessary, I will help you too.”

As an actor, Jiang Heng didn’t dare claim to be a great singer, but he was certainly better than Shen Fubai. He had studied music – piano was a required skill for the wealthy, which would allow him to help Shen Fubai with composing.

There should be a work that they create together.

Collaborating with his idol to compose a song, a gift they would give to each other.

You create the melody, I fill in the lyrics and sing.

I’ll sing it for you.

Jiang Heng and Shen Fubai didn’t spend too much time on lyrics and music for the next few days. As they said, when you’re out to play, you should have fun, and leave the thinking for when they returned home.

On their third day in Los Angeles, they visited the Harry Potter theme park, and then bid farewell to Xavier and the others. Filming for ‘Paradise’ would begin in a while, and they would return to America at that time, keeping this matter confidential for now.

They had plenty of time to explore famous cities in America.

They experienced the charm of Las Vegas, admired the city’s night view from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, and gazed at the White House from afar in Washington D.C…. For some reason, they didn’t go to New York, the place where Shen Fubai grew up.

Shen Fubai had never been so crazy in his entire life. Things he had never done before, pleasures he had never enjoyed, Jiang Heng had taken him through them all.

Every child loved amusement parks, and Shen Fubai was no exception. But when he was young, his mother didn’t have the time. So after school, he would carry his backpack and take the bus to the amusement park by himself. He played on the seesaw alone, waiting for a long time on the empty seat opposite him for someone to join. He rode the carousel alone, going round and round, but it wasn’t fun at all.

He saw other children’s parents buying them ice cream, so he bought one for himself, but it didn’t taste good.

He realized that amusement parks were only fun when someone accompanied you, and ice cream was only sweet when shared with someone.

Do you like singing, Fubai?

No, I don’t.

Do you like dancing?

Maybe… but it was my father’s demand.

So, do you like acting?

Yes! I’ve liked it since I was a child!

Why?

Because… Shen Fubai thought and thought, finally digging up the answer from a corner of his childhood memories.

Little Shen Fubai sat on one end of the seesaw, asking foolishly, “Will someone play with me?”

No one answered.

Then, Shen Fubai cleverly ran to the other end of the seesaw, sat down, and said, “Yes, Mommy will play with you!”

-Because only when acting did he have loving parents and playmates willing to join him.

So, he really loved acting.

Shen Fubai opened his eyes, the boundless blue sky and white clouds outside the window reflecting his perfect profile on the airplane window.

Jiang Heng asked softly beside him, “Are you awake?”

Shen Fubai was momentarily taken aback, remembering that they had finished their crazy half-month of fun and were now on a plane back to China.

It was too crazy, they had enjoyed themselves too much during these half-month.

Shen Fubai was somewhat reluctant to let go.

But life had to return to normal. He smiled. “Yes, I slept really soundly.”

And I had a dream.

In the dream, someone asked him, “Do you like acting, Fubai?”

Yes, I do.

But now he liked Heng Heng even more.

That dream was suffocating, the endless darkness weighing heavily on the heart, dragging people into the depths, dark enough to make one afraid. It was the culprit behind Shen Fubai’s insomnia, the murderer of his fear of darkness, the source of his loneliness.

Then he woke up. He was in the sky, not underground. It was bright outside, not dark at all.

He slept soundly.

With Heng Heng by his side.

“Heng Heng.” Shen Fubai called out.

“Mm?” Jiang Heng turned his head.

Shen Fubai kissed him. “I figured out how to write the lyrics.”