TTDOTO 2.1

After the disinfection and fresh bandages, Jae-an remained seated, staring blankly at the glass of water. Jae-rim lightly tapped his arm.

“Go lie down.”

“…Got a cigarette?”

Rolling his eyes, Jae-rim pulled a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket, tossing them onto the table. Jae-an raised an eyebrow. The Jae-rim he knew didn’t smoke—always wrinkling his nose at the cigarette smell on Jae-an’s clothes, nagging him to quit.

Yet, as if mocking him, Jae-rim’s pocket held a pack. Jae-an let out a hollow laugh, opening it. Only a few cigarettes remained. He pulled one out, holding it between his teeth.

“Can I smoke here?”

“…”

Taking silence as permission, Jae-an lit the cigarette. The tip glowed, and soon, hazy smoke curled around him. Jae-rim fetched an ashtray from the terrace, staying by his side until Jae-an stubbed out the butt.

“Done? Go inside.”

Jae-rim’s cool command came as he turned toward the bedroom. Jae-an called after his retreating figure.

“You mad?”

Jae-rim stopped. After a pause, as if suppressing emotion, he replied,

“Your body’s a mess, and you’re smoking again.”

“Sorry.”

The listless apology slipped out unintentionally. Jae-rim’s glance was icy.

“Don’t push me. Come on.”

Jae-an rose obediently, following Jae-rim to the bedroom. As he slumped onto the bed’s edge, his wrist was yanked. Startled, he shoved Jae-rim’s hand away with all his strength.

“What… You’re tying me up again?”

“I’ve got work.”

Meaning he had to leave, so Jae-an had to be bound. Jae-rim grabbed his wrist again. Jae-an tried to pull free, but there was no second chance. Unable to match Jae-rim’s crushing grip, he clutched the larger hand, pleading desperately.

“I-I won’t do it again. I’ll stay put. Please.”

“…”

“I hate being tied up in your house. It’s weird…”

He didn’t want to be like this in a place he’d once treated as home. But Jae-rim, ignoring him, fastened the band around his wrist. Panicked, Jae-an shoved him with all his might. As Jae-rim staggered, Jae-an frantically unfastened the band and leaped off the bed, fleeing.

Jae-rim let out a small sigh. Turning, his tired eyes fixed on Jae-an. He nodded toward the bed.

“Come here.”

“What kind of person ties someone up like this…!”

“Not loud, but to Jae-an, the voice boomed. Seeing Jae-rim’s gaze grow feral, he instinctively backed away. Faint dizziness brought flashes of Jae-rim slicing a man’s wrist.

Soon, his heels hit the wall. With no escape skills, he’d cornered himself.

“I said I’d stay put…!”

Trapped, his voice grew louder. Jae-rim’s hollow laugh echoed. Tossing the black band onto the bed, he advanced.

Watching him close in, Jae-an clenched his fists, teeth gritted, ready to swing at his jaw or stomach.

Jae-rim’s feet stopped just before Jae-an’s. Standing so close, his expression was unreadable. A cold voice rained down.

“Last chance to walk there yourself.”

“…Jae-rim.”

“Three.”

“Seo Jae-rim.”

“Two.”

“This isn’t ri—”

“One.”

Before the countdown finished, Jae-an’s neck snapped down. Jae-rim, grabbing his hair, dragged him forward.

“Ah, ah! Seo Jae-rim!”

“…”

“It hurts, let go!”

Jae-an swung wildly, but his fists did nothing to the rock-like body. Jae-rim dragged him with terrifying strength. Grasping for anything, Jae-an fell, his scalp burning as if torn.

Clutching Jae-rim’s hand, he was dragged to the bed. Thrown onto it, Jae-rim pinned his chest with a knee, binding his wrists.

The knee crushed his chest, making breathing nearly impossible; the grip on his wrists felt like they’d snap.

“Ugh… It hurts!”

“…”

“I said it hurts! Stop!”

No matter how he screamed or thrashed, Jae-rim didn’t react. Enraged by Jae-an’s resistance, he lost control, tightening the restraints until Jae-an’s hands paled, ignoring the pain from his cut wrist.

“Ah!”

Jae-rim pulled the band taut, securing it tightly, then bound the other hand and ankles without a gap. Stepping off the bed, he brushed back his disheveled bangs, staring at Jae-an.

Jae-an’s eyes brimmed with tears of shock and pain. Soon, they spilled over. Unexpecting the tears, Jae-rim’s lip curled, letting out a wind-like laugh.

“You’re misunderstanding something.”

“…”

“Staying put is a given. If you want to negotiate, offer something tempting.”

Jae-rim turned, leaving the room. The door slammed shut. Jae-an stared at it emptily. Sharp pain pulsed from his bound wrists, his body immobile. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

***

The locked door opened late at night. Leaning against the headboard, Jae-an looked up.

In a crisp suit, Jae-rim headed to the en-suite bathroom, speaking.

“Hungry? Think about what you want while I wash.”

Jae-an said nothing, lowering his head. Even when Jae-rim, damp from washing, approached, he stayed slumped.

“What do you want to eat? You need food to take your meds.”

“…I want to wash.”

“Eat first, then wash. You haven’t eaten all day.”

As Jae-rim stepped closer, Jae-an flinched, his exposed neck red. Noticing his odd, drooping posture, Jae-rim sat on the bed’s edge.

“What’s wrong? You hurt?”

Lowering his head to match Jae-an’s, Jae-rim saw why he was curled up. Jae-an’s gray sweatpants were soaked dark.

Jae-rim realized he’d forgotten to loosen the restraints enough to reach the phone.

“Oh.”

“The phone… I couldn’t reach it…”

Head down, Jae-an stammered the reason. He was told to call for the bathroom, but his hands couldn’t reach the nightstand phone. He’d shouted until his throat strained, to no avail.

He held it in. Sweat beaded on his back from the effort. Clenching his thighs, trembling, he fought, but the urge overwhelmed him. Urine leaked, then poured out. At thirty-three, staring at his mess on another’s bed, his nose stung with shame.

Hours passed. The humiliating smell dulled as his nose adjusted, leaving only the clammy discomfort between his legs. Only then did Jae-rim return.

“What crime did you commit?”

Unfazed by the sight, Jae-rim reached to unfasten the restraints on Jae-an’s wrists and ankles. His hands fell limply, like a cut-string puppet.

“No strength? I’ll wash you.”

“…Get lost.”

Snapping coldly, Jae-an slid off the bed. His legs, weak from being bound, wobbled. Jae-rim reached out to steady him, but Jae-an slapped his hand away. With no strength, he couldn’t break free. His glare turned feral.

“Let go, you bastard.”

Jae-rim smiled, eyes crinkling. It wasn’t embarrassment but anger fueling Jae-an’s mood.

“Why the cursing?”

“You think this is nothing…?”

“What, pissing yourself?”

The blunt words felt like mockery, creasing Jae-an’s brow. About to curse, he bit his tongue. Jae-rim spoke.

“It happens when you’re tied up.”

“…”

“And I said I’d clean you up.”

Gripping his arm like a crutch, Jae-rim moved to lead him. Hating the touch despite his refusal, Jae-an recoiled. Memories of Jang Han-seong’s gang groping him surged, filling his eyes with cold rage. He’d never imagined feeling such disgust from Jae-rim’s touch. He struck Jae-rim’s hand hard.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Embarrassed?”

Glaring at Jae-rim’s taunt, Jae-an turned silently and walked to the bathroom. The damp stickiness of his underwear and pants clung vividly to his skin.

Jae-rim leaned against the bathroom mirror, waiting as Jae-an entered the shower stall. Scrubbing his thighs and hips with a shower ball, shame stabbed his gut like never before.

As he dried off, Jae-rim handed him new clothes—all Jae-rim’s, oversized, as no spares remained. Jae-an put them on, the sleeves swallowing his hands. Jae-rim approached, neatly folding the cuffs.

“Gotta eat.”

“Not hungry.”

Jae-rim, chuckling hollowly at Jae-an’s turned back, grabbed his thin wrist. As Jae-an braced his feet, Jae-rim smiled softly.

“Want to be dragged by your hair again?”

Defiant words—just kill me—rose but froze under Jae-rim’s mad, golden eyes. After a tense standoff, Jae-an swallowed his pride, muttering weakly.

“I’ll go myself. Don’t grab me.”

Shrugging without reply, Jae-rim released him and walked to the dining table. Jae-an limped after.

Jae-rim always prepped ingredients meticulously, ready to whip up a balanced meal with seasonal produce anytime. Within fifteen minutes, he set out a refined Korean spread. Having not eaten dinner either, Jae-rim sat opposite, picking up his spoon first.

Jae-an didn’t want to eat, but noticing Jae-rim’s gaze, he took a spoon, crumbling a piece of tteokgalbi and chewing listlessly. The flavor was there, the meat tender, but psychological pressure made his stomach churn. After a few bites, he set the spoon down.

“Eat more.”

“I’m full.”

“Such a hassle…”

Muttering audibly, Jae-rim set down his chopsticks. Rising quietly, Jae-an clenched his fists under the table.

Will he hit me? Again? As fear trembled through him, Jae-rim grabbed his nape, holding a spoon with the other hand. Scooping rice dipped in soup, he brought it to Jae-an’s lips.

“Swallow.”

“…Jae-rim.”

“Don’t talk. Swallow.”

Rage surged at being forced again.

“You’ll hit me if I don’t eat?”

Jae-an glared up, his exhausted eyes filled with icy contempt beyond anger.

“I’m full. Why are you doing this?”

“You’ve barely eaten for days and claim you’re full? Think I don’t know you’re sulking to piss me off?”

Jae-rim placed a small piece of hamburger steak on the spoon.

“Tying you tightly was a mistake. I’ll be careful next time.”

“So you’ll keep tying me up?”

“Multiple suicide attempts get you restrained in a psych ward. Think of it like that and stop being mad.”

“Then lock me in a hospital, not this!”

“I can’t force you into one.”

“Yeah, only family can do that.”

“…”

“I’m sorry for showing you something ugly. But that doesn’t give you the right to treat me like this.”

Jae-rim’s curled lips slowly lost their smile. Jae-an, thinking his words had finally hit, or perhaps struck a nerve, looked up clearly.

“What, thought we were real family after living together?”

“Wow, your tone’s getting…”

With a low mutter, Jae-rim tossed the spoon. It clattered onto the table, rice and side dishes scattering like trash.

“Pretty shitty.”

Jae-rim’s grip tightened. With a bang, Jae-an’s head slammed onto the table.

“Ah, ugh…”

A splitting pain erupted with the deafening impact. Gasping through agony, Jae-an writhed, groaning. The hand gripping his hair pressed harder, grinding his forehead against the table.

“Real family…?”

Dizziness made it hard to open his eyes. The cold voice above seemed to spin. Struggling to rise, Jae-rim’s hand crushed his head like it would burst.

“That’s a funny thing to say.”

“…L-Let go…”

“Kinda pisses me off.”

His hollow laugh burrowed into Jae-an’s ringing head. Yanking his hair, Jae-rim forced his head back.

“Ugh!”

One hand clutching hair, the other braced on the table, Jae-rim lowered his face, meeting Jae-an’s eyes.

“You’re right. If you really saw me as family, you wouldn’t have abandoned me that day.”

The oddly sad voice met Jae-an’s pained, contorted eyes.

“Did I ever ask you to love me?”

No. Frowning, Jae-rim’s expression searched memories.

“All I wanted was to live well with you.”

“…”

“You betrayed me. Threw me away like trash.”

His murmured monologue felt almost self-hypnotic. Sighing softly, Jae-rim released his hair and tossed the spoon back in front of Jae-an.

“Unless you want to test how far I can go.”

“…”

“Eat quietly.”

Jae-an reached for the spoon, but dizziness from the impact made him fumble. Jae-rim seemed to think he’d thrown it. Seeing his enraged eyes, Jae-an spoke quickly.

“I’m dizzy. Just give me a sec—”

Before he finished, a sharp slap spun his head aside. The force nearly knocked him off the chair, but Jae-rim’s grip on his arm held him.

“Ah, ugh.”

“Get it together. Pick up the spoon.”

Shaking his head, Jae-an’s trembling hand grasped the spoon. He’d provoked Jae-rim knowing he’d get hit, but the pain far exceeded expectations. Fear crushed his defiance.

“Eat.”

At the cold murmur, Jae-an mechanically scooped rice, forcing it down. Jae-rim released his arm and returned to his seat. Wiping tears, unable to eat more, Jae-an heard him.

“Finish it, or you’ll get hit again.”

Head bowed, Jae-an shoveled rice in. Tears flowed, his nose blocked, tasting nothing, but he stuffed it in, chewing forcibly.

Emptying the bowl without pause, Jae-rim approached with a tissue, wiping his tear-soaked face. The gentle, meticulous touch contrasted with the hand that had slapped him.

Still trapped in fear from the physical pain, Jae-an couldn’t resist, only sobbing quietly as Jae-rim wiped his face. Staring at the tears welling again, Jae-rim whispered softly.

“What’s got you so upset?”

“…”

“Shouldn’t I be the one crying?”

Drip, drip. As Jae-an shed silent tears, Jae-rim sighed, hands on hips, as if baffled.

“You’re the one who shattered the peace, hyung.”

Jae-an mulled over “peace,” staring at the messy table. Had their good life together crumbled because he tried to escape through death? Was it just his pain, or his fault again? He didn’t know. His head was just dizzy and numb.

“Answer, hyung.”

The cold prompt made his bruised forehead and slapped cheek throb. Fearing another hit, Jae-an nodded hastily.

“…Yeah. …My fault.”

“Sorry for hitting you. Behave so you don’t get hit again.”

With that cold warning, Jae-rim left the dining room. Only after he was gone did Jae-an fold his arms on the table and collapse onto them.