TTDOTO 6.3

Returning late, Jae-rim turned on the living room’s auxiliary light. Jae-an, sitting on the sofa in the dark, turned toward the glow—a delayed reaction.
“Should I make dinner?”
Fixated on the shadows cast by the light, Jae-an didn’t answer. Jae-rim likely knew he’d skipped lunch and dinner. Yet he didn’t press, preparing and eating his own late meal.
Leaning sideways on the sofa, Jae-an closed his eyes again. From beyond the home bar came sounds of Jae-rim cleaning up, then boiling water. Soon, a sweet aroma filled the room.
Opening his eyes, Jae-an saw a teapot with delicate floral patterns and a cup on the table, with Jae-rim sitting beside him, legs crossed loosely, waiting for the tea to steep.
Fixated on the faint steam from the teapot, Jae-an parted his lips slowly.
“Jae-rim… I have something to say.”
“Yeah, go ahead.”
His brain felt worn out from rehearsing all day. Forgetting the carefully planned words, Jae-an blurted out whatever came.
“Actually… a while ago, I ran into Jang Han-seong…”
Jae-rim’s gaze landed slowly, sharp as a razor’s edge.
“Yeah?”
His calm tone was scarier. Unable to meet his eyes, Jae-an voiced a small resentment.
“He said… that day, he did what you told him to.”
“….”
“Just in case… you knew what Han-seong’s gang was planning?”
Jae-rim let out a long sigh, clearly annoyed.
“I always keep an eye on your surroundings.”
Prepared for it, Jae-an’s heart still sank at the casual admission. His voice quickly turned tearful.
“You knew… why didn’t you stop me…?”
“You didn’t tell me.”
The absurd reply made Jae-an whip his head up. Jae-rim, meeting his resentful glare, countered as if he were the confused one.
“You lied to meet him secretly. What right do I have to stop you?”
“….”
“As just a younger brother.”
Hearing the passive, self-defensive answer, Jae-an fully understood why Jae-rim had meticulously trapped him.
Jae-rim always disliked him caring for students. Mentioning them during school talk made his face harden.
You’re too kind, he’d say, smiling late, but warned not to bother with “lowlifes.” He hated it, wanting Jae-an to suffer so he’d never dare again.
Clenching his fists, Jae-an said,
“I almost… really got ruined by those bastards.”
“Yeah. So I met Han-seong and told him to keep things quiet until the police came.”
The brazen reply left Jae-an speechless. Jae-rim uncrossed his legs, pouring tea into the cup. The deep crimson liquid filled it.
“Anyway, that day you were 20 minutes late? Thought you were admiring flowers cutely. Didn’t expect flies to swarm.”
Clicking his tongue lowly, Jae-rim asked as if he knew everything.
“So, Han-seong wants more drugs?”
“Uh…?”
“Obvious.”
Twisting his lips, Jae-rim sipped, sounding bored.
“Ignore him.”
“….”
“Drug dealers get lots like him. Ignore, and they rage alone, then stop.”
Jae-an rubbed his smooth nails, unable to meet his eyes. Pressing a rough spot until it hurt, a half-grown nail peeled off. Closing his eyes tightly, he confessed.
“He has photos…”
“Photos?”
The sudden word raised Jae-rim’s thick brows slightly.
“That day… at the motel, Han-seong took pictures of me.”
Muttering “photos…?” Jae-rim’s voice was low, ominous, a stark shift from his earlier ease. Jae-an’s fingers froze with tension.
“He was blackmailing me… thought I was dead, so he stopped.”
“….”
“If I don’t get drugs or money, he’ll spread them… That’s why I asked for a tutoring fee.”
Jae-rim silently set down his cup. The silence fueled Jae-an’s anxiety. His voice grew slurred with quick breaths.
“Any amount’s fine… can you lend me money? Or I’ll work at the restaurant.”
Jae-rim’s rising figure was clear in Jae-an’s peripheral vision. Standing before him, backlit, his face was shadowed. Jae-an, fixated on his bleeding nail, mumbled on.
“If not… do whatever you want. Hit me, fuck me, anything—”
His words cut off. A sharp slap spun his head.
“Ah…”
The blow split his dry lips, blood trickling. Gripping the sofa to stay upright, Jae-an gasped, clutching his burning cheek. Biting before the hit, his inner cheek bled too.
“Tch.”
Jae-rim shook his stinging hand, perhaps from the force.
“Really hate hitting you. Why do you talk like that?”
His voice sounded muffled, one ear ringing. Pressing his split lip with his hand, Jae-an heard Jae-rim.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“….”
“What could you do hiding it?”
“Sorry.”
Trained to apologize, Jae-an did. Jae-rim sneered as if waiting.
“Your eyes don’t look sorry at all.”
Only then did Jae-an realize his anger.
“What, upset?”
“No way you think if I’d stopped you, this wouldn’t have happened?”
“….”
“Ungrateful for saving you.”
Does CCTV read minds? Jae-rim’s words hit his thoughts exactly, making it hard to hide his face.
Both Jae-rim and Han-seong claimed they acted for him. How much did they look down on him? Rage boiled, yet he felt that was his place.
A weak creature, surviving only by clinging, begging trash to avoid trash, unable to fight a sudden slap—a pitiful state.
Erasing his last pride, Jae-an softened his face. Lowering his eyes, waiting silently, he heard Jae-rim swallow a laugh.
“Anyway, you want me to handle it?”
“…Yeah.”
“Such a pretty request.”
Jae-rim tapped Jae-an’s stinging cheek. Not a hit, but humiliating enough to tilt his head.
“I gave Han-seong a lifetime supply. He’d die if he took more, so I stopped.”
“….”
“Don’t care if he dies?”
Then give it. A cold voice rained down.
Jae-an, anxious, fidgeted with his fingers. Rubbing his torn nails, he nodded late.
“…Yeah.”
“Really? When you told me not to do bad things.”
Trembling slightly, Jae-an nodded again. Jae-rim’s lips curled, intrigued.
“Really kill him?”
Recalling Han-seong’s mocking face, Jae-an thought, ‘Whatever happens.’
“Don’t care…”
With that, only their breathing filled the room. Jae-rim reached out, roughly ruffling Jae-an’s hair, mussing it like petting a dog.
Playing with his hair, Jae-rim suddenly yanked it, tilting Jae-an’s head back helplessly.
“Ask properly.”
Jae-an’s eyes shook. This was hard. Being yelled at was easier. In the humiliating position, he thought of what Jae-rim wanted.
After long thought, Jae-an reached for Jae-rim’s leg.
“…Want me to suck you?”
But Jae-rim released his hair, kicking the table. The pretty teapot and cup shattered on the floor. Startled by the crash, Jae-an flinched, closing his eyes.
“Fuck, seriously…”
The oppressive voice made Jae-an’s heart race. Expecting a hit, he apologized quickly.
“…Sorry.”
“I feed and clothe you as payment?”
“…No. No.”
He’d demanded intimacy as punishment before, so offering it seemed pleasing. Realizing his mistake, Jae-an shook his head.
“Right. You never expected repayment for feeding and clothing me.”
“Yeah…”
Jae-rim stepped closer, Jae-an’s fingers twitching—not from fear, but the glass shards at Jae-rim’s feet. In slippers, he worried Jae-rim might step on them.
“I want to help because I love you, but why do you keep talking like shit, ruining my mood?”
Love…?
Confused, Jae-an chewed the alien word. Jae-rim had said no one loved him more. He wished for one thing: no more mixing cruelty with love to shake his heart when he was resigning.
“Just empty your head, smile prettily, and ask. I’ll do anything.”
Each word felt violent. But erasing his last pride, Jae-an obeyed.
“…Help me. Please.”
As if correct, Jae-rim’s sharp gaze softened. Staring at Jae-an’s pale face, he whispered.
“Smile.”
Jae-an forced his bleeding lips up. His eyes crinkled reflexively, tears he hadn’t noticed streaming down.
“That’s a grimace.”
Wiping his wet cheeks, Jae-an smiled harder. Only then did Jae-rim’s lips tilt. As he leaned closer, startled Jae-an pointed at the floor, stopping him.
“Wait.”
“….”
“Glass… watch your feet.”
Ignoring the warning, Jae-rim kicked aside shards in slippers, closing in. Scooping Jae-an up, Jae-an flailed, gripping his shoulders.
“Hey…”
“Who’s worrying about who?”
“….”
“With your split lip from one slap, you’re the one in danger.”
His scolding was irritated, but his hands under Jae-an’s neck and knees were firm, gentle. Carrying him past the glass-strewn room, Jae-rim set him on a home bar stool, fetching a first-aid kit.
“Open your mouth.”
Dabbing ointment on his fingers, Jae-rim gently rubbed Jae-an’s split lip. Jae-an, unable to lift his head, accepted silently. Finishing the lips, Jae-rim loaded more ointment.
His finger entered Jae-an’s mouth, tending the scratched inner cheek. Saliva pooled on his lower lip. Puckering to avoid drooling licked Jae-rim’s finger.
Throughout, Jae-rim stared at his lips. Unable to resist, he tilted his head, capturing Jae-an’s lower lip. Expecting a brief kiss, Jae-an was wrong—Jae-rim’s tongue slipped in, licking away the ointment.
Jae-an, eyes down, stared at Jae-rim’s slippers soaked in crimson tea. Jae-rim’s tongue scoured his mouth, taking the ointment.
Releasing his lips, Jae-rim’s face held faint satisfaction. Excited alone, his anger had eased. Yet Jae-rim’s claim that intimacy wasn’t payment baffled Jae-an.
Wiping his wet lips, Jae-an tasted tea’s sweetness and ointment’s bitterness on his numb tongue—like Jae-rim’s “love” mixed with threats.