TAM 19

Si Yuan lifted his hand and threw the T-shirt into the basin beside him. He leaned against the tiled wall, and when he straightened even slightly, he was almost touching Mo Yao. He said, “What?”

Mo Yao was impatient, but he didn’t want to shout and let the other two outside hear. He lowered his voice. “Are you enjoying this? What’s with all the riddles? If it’s you, then say it’s you. If it’s not, then say it’s not. Stop circling around.”

Si Yuan said, “I’m just the kind of person who’s irritating.”

Mo Yao said, “You’re that black cat? You knew it was me?”

The question was too direct. Si Yuan stayed silent for a moment before he said, “I only found out recently.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why did we turn into cats? I still don’t know what happened!”

Si Yuan shook his head.

“Did we get cursed?”

Si Yuan said nothing.

Mo Yao pushed him back half a step. Si Yuan had just straightened up when Mo Yao shoved him again. “Are you messing with me?” He was paranoid now and couldn’t tell what was real anymore.

Si Yuan said, “Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Mo Yao reached to grab his collar, only to realize he didn’t have one.

Si Yuan suddenly caught his hand. “Can you calm down?”

Mo Yao stared at him.

“Go out first. Let me take a shower, alright?”

Mo Yao didn’t answer.

Si Yuan said, “I am the black cat. I was only guessing before, but now that you said it, I’m sure. You don’t need to panic. I wasn’t playing with you. Can you calm down now?” His tone was calm, even gentle. In that small space, his low voice sank softly into Mo Yao’s ears.

Mo Yao stood straight. Si Yuan still held his hand. He pulled it free, opened the bathroom door, and walked out.

The other two in the dorm looked at him, but when they saw him come out, they quickly pretended not to.

Mo Yao sat on his bed.

When Si Yuan came out, his skin was still damp from the shower.

No one in the dorm was asleep yet. Anything said now would feel wrong. Mo Yao regretted not clearing things up in the bathroom, but dragging Si Yuan back there now would be too strange.

Si Yuan climbed into bed. The dorm lights went off.

Mo Yao couldn’t sleep. He lay there listening to every sound in the room. He didn’t even dare turn over, as if the slightest rustle might wake Zhang Ziyu or Chen Xinyong.

Then he heard both of them breathing evenly.

Mo Yao took a deep breath and got up. He grabbed the ladder and climbed up quietly.

Si Yuan’s mosquito net was closed.

Mo Yao held onto the edge of the bed and lifted a small opening to look inside. Si Yuan lay flat and still.

He couldn’t tell if Si Yuan was asleep or pretending. Ever since Si Yuan had climbed into bed, Mo Yao hadn’t heard him move.

Mo Yao crawled inside. He thought the sound he made wasn’t small, and if Si Yuan was awake, he couldn’t possibly miss it. He moved toward the head of the bed, careful not to touch Si Yuan’s arms or legs.

When he finally got close, he could see Si Yuan’s face faintly in the dim light. His eyes were closed.

At that same moment, Si Yuan’s eyes opened suddenly, and his hand reached out to grab Mo Yao’s wrist.

Si Yuan’s grip was strong. Mo Yao almost made a sound.

“Are you out of your mind?” Si Yuan spoke quietly after recognizing his face. It was clear he had been startled.

Mo Yao said, “You were asleep?”

Si Yuan let go of him, rubbed his face, and sat up, leaning against the wall. “Yes.”

“You can actually sleep?” Mo Yao’s tone was agitated, but he kept his voice low so he wouldn’t wake the others.

Si Yuan tilted his head back slightly and closed his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Don’t sleep.” Mo Yao patted his face. The sound of his palm against Si Yuan’s cheek was too loud in the silence, so he stopped. He waited a bit. When he didn’t hear any movement from the other beds, he went on. “Don’t you think we should talk about this properly?”

Si Yuan’s eyes opened a thin slit. “About what?”

“The black cat.”

Si Yuan turned his head to the right, bent his left leg, and rested his foot on the bed. He looked at Mo Yao. “What’s your story?”

Mo Yao sat cross-legged. “One night, I opened the window and accidentally pushed a cat off. I went downstairs to look but couldn’t find it. Then I dreamed I was inside the cat’s body.”

Si Yuan looked tired but seemed to be listening carefully. “That night, I came back late. The road wasn’t well lit. I hit a cat while biking. That’s it.”

“What about that cat?”

“It ran into the bushes.”

“Was it the black one?”

“I don’t know. It was too dark to see.”

Mo Yao stayed silent for a while. “Have you seen that black cat around school?”

“No.”

“You don’t want to look for it?”

“No time,” Si Yuan answered plainly.

Mo Yao thought that was true. Si Yuan was busy all day with classes and work, but his curiosity made him ask, “Doesn’t it bother you?”

“It did at first.”

“You never thought about how to fix it?”

Si Yuan leaned against the wall and said slowly, “It’s not much trouble. It’s pretty free.”

Mo Yao froze for a moment.

“It’s like a lucid dream. You know you’re dreaming, and in the dream, you can jump onto walls easily, climb trees, and lie on rooftops to look at the stars.” Si Yuan’s eyes closed again without him noticing, as if he was remembering it. “I suddenly had a lot more time each day, and I could do whatever I wanted. That shouldn’t count as a problem for me.”

Mo Yao watched him quietly.

Si Yuan kept his eyes closed as if he had fallen asleep again.

Mo Yao asked softly, “Where did you go last night? Why did you suddenly disappear?”

“Maybe I went outside the school,” Si Yuan said and opened his eyes.

“How do you know?”

“I’ve had times when I didn’t enter that dream state. I’m not sure whether the black cat leaves the campus, but there were two times when I stayed outside overnight and didn’t have those dreams.”

Mo Yao thought carefully. He hadn’t had that experience yet, because he hadn’t spent the night outside campus during that time, and his cat also didn’t seem brave enough to leave school territory.

Si Yuan’s experience had lasted longer than his.

After a long pause, Mo Yao said, “I’m anxious.”

Si Yuan waited silently for him to continue.

Mo Yao said, “I saw online that someone’s been abusing cats at our school.”

Si Yuan pressed his lips together, but he didn’t answer.

“I know I can’t do anything if I go out right now, but I just feel uneasy.”

Maybe because he had spoken too emotionally, Mo Yao heard Chen Xinyong’s breathing grow lighter from across the room, followed by the sound of movement on the bed.

He immediately shut his mouth and lowered his head, not daring to speak again.

Si Yuan suddenly lifted his arm and placed his palm on Mo Yao’s head.

Mo Yao flinched but didn’t move.

Si Yuan stroked his hair gently.

The night was dark and quiet. Inside the small space beneath the mosquito net, Si Yuan’s presence felt the same as that familiar black cat’s.

Mo Yao could remember how the black cat had licked his fur. That sensation, for some reason, brought him peace.

If it was that cat, then everything it did somehow felt acceptable.

Si Yuan’s hand slid down from the top of his head and held the back of his neck.

Chen Xinyong’s breathing returned to a steady rhythm.

Only then did Si Yuan release him. He said, “Go to sleep. There’s nothing we can do right now.”

Mo Yao understood. Even if he could leave the dorm, he couldn’t possibly search every corner of the campus for the cat, and the black cat might not even be here anymore.

He climbed down from Si Yuan’s bed, went back to his own, lay down, pulled up the blanket, and closed his eyes.

Then he fell into a peaceful sleep.

And he disappeared again.