TVDC 11: Contempt

He Zhi Yuan returned to his old room and saw that the bedding had already been laid out. Behind him, Qiu Xuning spoke with a hint of self-satisfaction in his tone, “I picked the color for you. It suits you, and it doesn’t show dirt easily.”

The quilt Qiu Xuning chose for him was a simple shade of gray-blue, with the mattress underneath in the same color scheme.

“And the keys too. I asked my mom to give them all to me.” Qiu Xuning took out two keys and handed them to He Zhiyuan.

It was because one key hadn’t been with He Zhiyuan before that Qiu Shuohai and the “Qiu Xuning” had been able to take advantage of the gap and slip into He Zhiyuan’s room.

He Zhiyuan accepted the two keys, stared at them for a moment, then put them away. “Thanks.”

Getting thanked by He Zhiyuan again made Qiu Xuning’s eyes brighten slightly. He looked at He Zhiyuan with care, pressed his lips together in a restrained smile, and whispered, “We’re family, no need to thank me.”

It was the second time He Zhiyuan had heard that phrase, and his brows lifted once more.

Qiu Xuning didn’t see his expression. Whenever he found the chance, he would emphasize the idea of being “family,” trying to brainwash He Zhiyuan bit by bit.

“Go to bed early, okay? We’ll go to school together tomorrow,” Qiu Xuning said, turning to run off.

He Zhiyuan caught him by the back of his collar and said in a low voice, “Look at me in the eyes and say it.”

“…” Qiu Xuning had no choice but to awkwardly turn back around, lift his face, and—his gaze unsteady—stare at He Zhiyuan as he whispered, “Go to bed early. We’ll go to school together tomorrow.”

He Zhiyuan kept his eyes on him. Soon, Qiu Xuning’s face flushed red again, his gaze darting everywhere, lips trembling slightly, making him look a little pitiful. Yet it was also somewhat ridiculous in a way that couldn’t be put into words.

“You done yet?” Qiu Xuning’s voice was so weak it could barely be heard, the faint blush on his face spreading all the way to the tips of his ears until they were completely red.

Just meeting his eyes was enough to make him blush uncontrollably.

He Zhiyuan let him go, the corner of his mouth seeming to twitch upward, but Qiu Xuning had already turned his head away and bolted for the door in a panic. In his haste, he didn’t notice the nightstand behind him and his knee slammed into its sharp edge.

Qiu Xuning hissed in pain, but didn’t stop. He dashed out like the wind.

He Zhiyuan watched Qiu Xuning’s back as he left, only closing the door firmly once he was completely out of sight.

He sat down on the bed and ran his hand over the quilt. It was indeed much thicker than the old one, enough to get through the winter without trouble.

Something seemed to cross his mind, and a flicker of complicated emotion passed through the depths of his eyes.

Qiu Xuning ran back to his room, eyes red, and pulled off his pants. A patch of skin on his knee had been scraped off, oozing a little blood. It wasn’t serious and after the initial sting faded, the pain became less noticeable. Sniffling, he forced back the trace of tears that had welled up from the pain.

The next morning, while Zhou Mingmei was catching up on sleep, Qiu Xuning hurried to speak to He Zhiyuan. “Let’s go quickly.”

Qiu Shuohai always liked staying up late and couldn’t wake up in the daytime. Qiu Zhaozhao was also a high school student, so she actually got up around the same time as He Zhiyuan, but she loved to linger in bed, always dragging it out for ten or twenty minutes. Because of that, she hadn’t crossed paths with Qiu Xuning and He Zhiyuan these past few days.

Right now, Qiu Xuning was worried she might run into them, so he urged He Zhiyuan nervously to hurry up.

Yet whether He Zhiyuan was deliberately going against him or not, the more he rushed him, the slower he went. He took over ten minutes just to sip half a bowl of porridge, and still didn’t finish it.

Qiu Xuning stared at him pitifully, his anxiety almost solid in his eyes. He even wished he could just grab the bowl and gulp down the rest for him.

He Zhiyuan only grew slower and slower. The sight made Qiu Xuning fidget restlessly, twisting his fingers, pulling out tissue after tissue to wipe the table, wiping over and over, while his eyes never left He Zhiyuan.

That careful, anxious patience of his was like some small furry creature, oddly enough making one’s heart soften.

Just then, Qiu Zhaozhao came out of her room. She yawned as she spotted Qiu Xuning and said, “Ningning, how come you’re up so early?”

The moment Qiu Xuning saw her, his lips pressed tightly together. Nervously, he shot a glance at He Zhiyuan but even after hearing Qiu Zhaozhao’s voice, He Zhiyuan remained as steady as a mountain, showing not the slightest hint of hurry.

When Qiu Zhaozhao saw He Zhiyuan, her face immediately darkened. Passing by him, she turned to Qiu Xuning and said, “Ningning, since you’re already up, go on to school. Do you want me to give you a ride?”

Qiu Xuning shook his head. It was only about a ten-minute walk and he could manage on his own. Though he and He Zhiyuan took the same route, He Zhiyuan’s school was farther, several li beyond Qiu Xuning’s, so really he was the one who ought to be given a ride.

But there was no way Qiu Zhaozhao would ever offer to drive He Zhiyuan, even if their routes overlapped.

Qiu Zhaozhao shot a glance at He Zhiyuan and snapped impatiently, “Are you done eating yet? Hurry up and get to school. Don’t sit here being an eyesore, I get annoyed just looking at you!”

Qiu Xuning gave a soft little cough and said, “Jiejie, you should hurry and wash up, or you’ll be late.”

Hearing him call her “Jiejie,” Qiu Zhaozhao froze for a moment. His voice was so gentle, so pleasant to the ear. Was this the first time he had ever called her “Jiejie” in such a soft and tender way? Before, he had always just called her by her name.

A smile slipped onto Qiu Zhaozhao’s face before she realized it, and even her voice softened. “I’ll be quick. If you want me to take you, just wait a bit and I’ll drive you after I wash up.”

Qiu Xuning asked, “Aren’t you having breakfast?”

Qiu Zhaozhao waved her hand. “I’ll skip it. I can take you to school.”

Qiu Xuning shook his head and said softly, “No need. I like walking. It’s exercise and I’ll grow taller that way.”

“Qiu Xuning” was just too short. Even he himself was already 167, yet “Qiu Xuning” was only 162, like a little turnip head. He needed exercise and needed to grow a bit taller.

Hearing him say that, Qiu Zhaozhao didn’t press the issue any further.

While she went to wash up, Qiu Xuning once again gazed pitifully at He Zhiyuan. He didn’t dare rush him outright, so this silent staring was the only way he could urge him along.

Fortunately, no matter how slowly one ate, a bowl of porridge couldn’t last forever. By now, He Zhiyuan had finished and set the bowl and chopsticks down on the table.

Seeing that he had finally finished eating, Qiu Xuning let out a breath of relief. His tense body relaxed as well. He stood up, glanced at He Zhiyuan, then quickly looked away. He still remembered he was supposed to make eye contact when speaking to him, but he didn’t want to. His own reaction was far too embarrassing and too humiliating.

He Zhiyuan picked up his schoolbag, slung it over one shoulder, gave Qiu Xuning a glance, and walked out the door.

Qiu Xuning hurried to catch up. Once outside, he realized just how tall He Zhiyuan was—long legs, big strides, each step carrying him forward with almost gust-like force. Qiu Xuning sped up too, nearly jogging after him. His poor stamina caught up quickly and within moments he was panting. At last he couldn’t help calling out, “W-wait for me, don’t walk so fast.”

He wasn’t used to raising his voice. Whenever he spoke, it always came out soft and small, making him seem weak and pitiful. 

He Zhiyuan acted as if he hadn’t heard him at all. While Qiu Xuning was speaking, he took the chance to pull even farther ahead.

Panting behind him, Qiu Xuning stared at his back, and a wave of grievance welled up inside him.

He had only thought that spending more time together would help them slowly grow closer, which was why he had wanted to walk to school with He Zhiyuan. But with He Zhiyuan walking so fast, there wasn’t even a chance for closeness.

In that case, he might as well not have gone with him at all.

Qiu Xuning muttered to himself, the feeling of grievance ebbing away, leaving him a little more at ease.

He straightened up, glanced around, then went into a shop and bought two lollipops. He unwrapped one and popped it into his mouth.

Not long after leaving the shop, he noticed a familiar figure walking toward him. Looking closely, he realized it was He Zhiyuan. He had turned back.

He Zhiyuan stopped in front of him, saying nothing, just staring down at him from above.

Qiu Xuning sniffled, his breath coming out in a puff of white mist as he spoke. The cold had reddened the tip of his nose, making him look a bit pitiful. “…You walked so fast, I couldn’t keep up.”

He Zhiyuan said, “My school’s farther.”

Qiu Xuning mumbled, “Then… maybe we shouldn’t?”

If their pace didn’t match, there really was no need to force walking together.

He Zhiyuan kept his eyes fixed on his face, and Qiu Xuning instinctively tugged up the collar of his sweater to cover half his face, hiding it from He Zhiyuan’s gaze.

He Zhiyuan said, “Let’s go.”

Qiu Xuning dazedly answered, then noticed that this time He Zhiyuan had slowed his pace to match his own.

A warm current welled up in Qiu Xuning’s heart. Realizing this small act of consideration, he suddenly felt that He Zhiyuan was actually rather gentle and thoughtful.

Walking side by side, he realized there was no need to speak while looking directly at him. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the other lollipop and handed it to He Zhiyuan. “Do you want it?” His voice was still soft, but He Zhiyuan lowered his head and gave him a response this time.

Qiu Xuning actually suspected that He Zhiyuan had heard him calling just now but deliberately ignored him, and he vaguely sensed that He Zhiyuan might have had a bit of a mind to watch him make a fool of himself. Just like how he clearly knew Qiu Xuning didn’t dare meet anyone’s eyes, yet forced him to speak while staring, or how he had walked so fast earlier…

But suspicion was all it was. With no proof and his timid nature, Qiu Xuning wouldn’t dare question He Zhiyuan so he buried the doubt deep inside and pretended not to notice.

Seeing He Zhiyuan take the lollipop, he let out a small sigh of relief and was about to say, “It’s cola flavor, really good,” when he noticed He Zhiyuan simply slipped it into his coat pocket, showing no intention of eating it.

Qiu Xuning asked softly, “You don’t like lollipops?”

He Zhiyuan replied, “No.”

“…” Qiu Xuning opened his mouth but couldn’t find the words.

He Zhiyuan lowered his head to look at him, his voice turning rougher. “Only kids eat candy.”

Qiu Xuning: “…”

He sniffled and murmured, “You’re only one year older than me.”

He Zhiyuan glanced at the top of his head. Though he didn’t say a word, Qiu Xuning felt as if he had just been looked down on.

He Zhiyuan was despising his height.

“…” Qiu Xuning found himself at a loss for words.